redeemer
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2003
- Messages
- 2,135
My first and last shroom trip
I would like to explain my first mushroom trip.
It was monday two days ago, we (me and two friends) had received the shrooms in the mail that monday and i had been to work and had arrived to my friends house in the evening. I started by taking approximately one gram of Copelandia Cyanescens at around 10.15 PM. About 15 minutes later i could see my vision was getting blurred and moving was a bit harder. I was in a quite good mood and just sat talking with my friends while smoking a blunt. We started getting tired and we put a movie on, How High, and watched it for a bit. I sat in a chair while my two friends laid on a mattress. About half way into the film my friends fell asleep and i sat there watching the movie. All of the sudden negative thoughts started appearing in my mind (around 12 AM). I though that my friends didn't like me and i was bothering them by being there. For about 15 minutes that feeling kept on coming and disappearing and my mood wasn't very great. I decided to lay myself over on the sofa and think it over. I started thinking about my life and about "why i lived". What was the purpose of me being here and why did i continue to live. I came to the conclusion that my life wasn't very good and i started feeling really bad, i tried seeing the good in life but i failed and felt even worse. I thought about killing myself, not that i would actually have done it cause the mere thought of it scared me to death, but i just couldn't see why i should continue to live my life when it was so terrible and meaningless.
When i had thought about this for a while i felt really bad and i tried convincing myself that it was the drug that made me feel like this, but it was very hard and i only partially convinced myself and after i had done that i went back to thinking the same thoughts i had thought about before. I couldn't stand it and i went upstairs just to do something. I walked around looking in the mirror. Just looking at myself and feeling bad. I made the decission to forget about it and go asleep hoping i would wake up the next morning feeling better, although i doubted that i would, so i went downstairs turned off all the light and went to bed. At that moment the time was about 1.15 AM. I fell asleep and had a horrible nightmare about my friend, whom i thought didn't like me, was gone insane and was chasing me. This dream continued till about 6.10 AM when i woke up. I was incredibly scared and i just felt like crying and talking to someone but i managed to fall asleep again and slep without any dreams to about 10 PM.
The days after the trip, including this day, i still don't feel that good. I'm kinda depressed and I'm not sure what to do. I'm going to talk about it with my big brother later, he has tried shrooms some times before and we have talked a little about my trip and he would like to hear what happened.
Does anyone know what i should do to make me feel good again. I can feel that my mood has become better in the last few days but i still have a strange feeling in my body that i don't like. Before this happened i had always been very fond of life and i loved living and being with my friends, this hans't gone away though but i don't feel as good as before.
Maby i should also say that friday and saturday the same week we did some ecstacy, and maby that could have influenced my trip in the wrong direction. Although i didn't feel depressed at all when i took it.
Thankyou for listening,
-Rune
I would like to explain my first mushroom trip.
It was monday two days ago, we (me and two friends) had received the shrooms in the mail that monday and i had been to work and had arrived to my friends house in the evening. I started by taking approximately one gram of Copelandia Cyanescens at around 10.15 PM. About 15 minutes later i could see my vision was getting blurred and moving was a bit harder. I was in a quite good mood and just sat talking with my friends while smoking a blunt. We started getting tired and we put a movie on, How High, and watched it for a bit. I sat in a chair while my two friends laid on a mattress. About half way into the film my friends fell asleep and i sat there watching the movie. All of the sudden negative thoughts started appearing in my mind (around 12 AM). I though that my friends didn't like me and i was bothering them by being there. For about 15 minutes that feeling kept on coming and disappearing and my mood wasn't very great. I decided to lay myself over on the sofa and think it over. I started thinking about my life and about "why i lived". What was the purpose of me being here and why did i continue to live. I came to the conclusion that my life wasn't very good and i started feeling really bad, i tried seeing the good in life but i failed and felt even worse. I thought about killing myself, not that i would actually have done it cause the mere thought of it scared me to death, but i just couldn't see why i should continue to live my life when it was so terrible and meaningless.
When i had thought about this for a while i felt really bad and i tried convincing myself that it was the drug that made me feel like this, but it was very hard and i only partially convinced myself and after i had done that i went back to thinking the same thoughts i had thought about before. I couldn't stand it and i went upstairs just to do something. I walked around looking in the mirror. Just looking at myself and feeling bad. I made the decission to forget about it and go asleep hoping i would wake up the next morning feeling better, although i doubted that i would, so i went downstairs turned off all the light and went to bed. At that moment the time was about 1.15 AM. I fell asleep and had a horrible nightmare about my friend, whom i thought didn't like me, was gone insane and was chasing me. This dream continued till about 6.10 AM when i woke up. I was incredibly scared and i just felt like crying and talking to someone but i managed to fall asleep again and slep without any dreams to about 10 PM.
The days after the trip, including this day, i still don't feel that good. I'm kinda depressed and I'm not sure what to do. I'm going to talk about it with my big brother later, he has tried shrooms some times before and we have talked a little about my trip and he would like to hear what happened.
Does anyone know what i should do to make me feel good again. I can feel that my mood has become better in the last few days but i still have a strange feeling in my body that i don't like. Before this happened i had always been very fond of life and i loved living and being with my friends, this hans't gone away though but i don't feel as good as before.
Maby i should also say that friday and saturday the same week we did some ecstacy, and maby that could have influenced my trip in the wrong direction. Although i didn't feel depressed at all when i took it.
Thankyou for listening,
-Rune
Last edited:
best wishes