n_Ovis
Bluelighter
Intense Panic, Fear and Complete Loss of Reality
This is a report on my first trip on mushrooms. Im going to admit right now i was totally irresponsible that night and that this experience has made me realize just how powerful certain drugs are and that they are not playthings. This experience has caused me to take a hard look at the way and manner i use drugs, and Ive since decided to cut down on my drug use significantly.
This is a warning to people who take drugs they know little about and arent mentally prepared for what might happen.
Im a pretty experienced user of drugs, and I have plenty of expericence with other hallucinogens however nothing I had ever done would have prepared me for this experience.
Previous substance experience: cannibas, DXM, PCP, MethAmphetamine[had a bad meth habit for several months shortly before this trip], LSA, Cocaine, Misc. Inhalents[N2O, Ether etc] MDMA, MDA, Nutmeg, Bendadryl, Misc. Painkillers, DextroAmphetamine and Amphetamine, OTC stimulants[ephedrine etc] Alcohal, Nicotine, Caffiene
[This was the first really bad experience on any drug, not including a mild case of amphetamine psychosis from doing too much speed.]
_____________________
Substances consumed:
4-6 shots of vodka
10 Hits smoked cannibas
1 unknown muscle relaxer[possilbly soma]
1/2 Oz mushrooms
_______________________________________
At the time of this trip, I had had a terrible week, Im not going to go into details but basically my life was coming to pieces, and this contributed greatly to the horrible trip i had.
Over the course of the four or so hours before ingesting the mushrooms I had gone ghost hunting with some friends. We did encounter some extremely inexplicable shit out there in the various locations we visited. I beleive this must have contributed in some way to the trip, more on that later. We returned to their house and got pretty much shit faced drunk. We walked down to my house and smoked a blunt with some friends. They left I stuck with the group of friend I had smoked with. At this point I was feeling pretty good, generally drunk and stoned and just being very friendly and outgoing. My friend H bought some mushrooms from R. I had found a mushroom in a yard that I thought looked like an active. I showed it to R who looked it over and told me it was a pretty good bet is was active. The stem bruised blue very quickly and R was pretty confident it was a ps. cubenesis. So we walked out to the yard where I found. [BTW ironically this yard belonged to the group of punks i was hanging out earlier that evening]
We picked dozens of the shrooms that were out there. T and I ate about 6 caps apiece. I later ate some more. I probably consumed about 8 whole mushrooms in all, which likely weighed on about a 1/2 oz. 1/8 oz is the standard dose for one person. I was so drunk and enthusiastic about having shrooms I wasnt thinking straight and took far more then I should have. Everything was fine for awhile. I began to grin from ear to ear and I was giggling a whole lot. I remeber hearing someone say "M's got the grins real bad"
At this point my memory of the experience begins to get very fuzzy so a lot of what follows is going to be what I remember, and what I was told I was doing/saying. What I remeber at the point was some of us, I dont recall whom, sat down and chilled in my room for awhile. We turned on a strobe light and possibly some music too. Someone came to my window and knocked on it, and at the same time my dad came and knocked on the door. I remember that the knocks began to echo and reverberate around the room till there were hundreds of pounding noises all around me. My dad told us to leave. Evidentally we drove to a friend's house although I remeber nothign of the drive. Once there I remember rolling around on the floor and laughing. I was staring and people around the room[which got me bitched out BTW by some people who didnt know me or that I was tripping] Everyone's faces were completely alien to me.
For awhile after this I have a huge blank. And what I do remember is all jumbled up and I cannot possibly put it in any kind of chronological order. Evidently we returned to T's house. At this point I started wigging out. I guess I had hit the peak and couldnt handel it. Im told that I began kicking shit in the room, the walls, and dresser, and attacking things that werent there. K said I was screaming about mushrooms and people eating my face at this point. I remember however laying on the floor where I must have been freaking out badly. I remeber feeling like my face was melting off and I beleived that someone had sewn my mouth shut. At this point I remember being fucking terrified, and I know I was kickign and screaming a whole lot. T and K got in my face several times and told me to shut the fuck up or else I was going to get my ass throughouly beat. This put me into a terrible state of frozen panic. I remember seeing them over me, they were the most terrifieing beings I had ever witnessed. Behind them there was fire and the room was burning and melting and shifting from various shades of orange, red and black. By this point I had completely and utterly lost contact with reality. K tried to talk me down by comforting me. This did absolutly no good whatsoever since I was so delusional I thought I was a herion addict and that that was the voice of herion conforting me. I remember watching a needle go into my arm and feeling the relief of injection. I also recall singing[at least in my head] a track by skinny puppy called harsh stone white which deals with herion addiction.At some point K walked in, but I thought I was T's dad.
"T's Dad" asked what the fuck was going on. I couldnt see his face but I screamed at his feet "NEEDLESPOON NEEDLESPOON I ATE TOO MANY DRUGS"
I spent the next few hours going from intense states of euphoria to dark pits of despair and panic. At one of the euphoric moments I was screaming at the tops of my lungs because it felt so good and I was yelling about how great I felt. I remember being in a tunnel of quickily shifting light. I guess I was kicking around on the floor a hwole lot becuase I remeber slamming into things[Im covered in bruises, cuts and scrapes, mostly on my face] I also thought at one point that I had killed myself and that I was stuck in purgatory, doomed for ever to repeat the same segment of time over and over. Im told I was in a verbal loop, saying the same 8 complete nonsense phrases over and over. I was completely incoherent, and none of the words i said made any sense to anyone else.
I was so terrified I had permanently fucked myself up, doomed forever to sit in a dark room filled with monsters. Time completely lost meaning and I was feeling my sanity slip away. I could not remember what drug I had taken. T said he heard me saying i was in a K-hole. I honestly had no idea what drugs I had consumed. I had no grasp on reality at all, I recall wondering who "M" was [that being me] I was in a hellacious world of pure delusion, I had no control over thoughts or my mood, nothing. I remember feeling like snakes were crawling through my body. Meraculously this did not scare me since I told myself "Dont move, just let them travel through you and you wont get hurt. At somepoint I pissed myself, I was tripping so hard.
I went to so many terrifying and dark hellacious places for the next few hours, most of them too terrifying and personal to want to relate them here. Suffice to say I had a horrible time, and I thought it was never going to end. Towards the end of the trip I thought I was in bed at the mental institute where I spent some time a few weeks ago. I remember halluncianting people standing over me going "Man he's been like that for weeks, when's he going to stop tripping"
FINALLY I fell asleep and woke up at about 4 am, still tripping pretty hard. This stage of the trip felt very much like a DXM trip. I was still halluncinating and definatly still tripping, however I wasnt nearly as unstable as before. I got up and walked to the bathroom to piss, and went back to T's room to find my shoes. I couldnt, I only found one of them. I ran home, barefoot, clutchig the shoe in one hand. I got to my house and struggled with the keys for awhile at the front door. Neither of my keys could fit and I began to panic again. Whats intersting about this point was K and T and H all know for a fact I had locked my keys in the house earlier, so this was all pure delusion.
So I desperatly rang the doorbell. My parents came down. I walked in and they demanded to know what was going on. I said I had taken "too much acid". Then I hurried downstairs because i saw several non existant people standing behind them in the shadows. I stumbled towards the shower, because I knew I had pissed all over myself and I didnt want to sleep like that.
My house was extremely distorted, the walls, floors and cielings were all the wrong size. rooms and hallways were either too large or too small, or too tall in the case of the bathroom. I struggled to get in the shower. My whole body was numb, and when I got out and got dressed I couldnt even tell if I was getting my clothes on or not. I was feeling very very agitated and paniced, but I kept myself under control.I still couldnt fugure out what drug I had taken. I thought it was either PCP or 2-CB but I honestly didnt know. So I stood in the bathroom getting absorbed in all the colors and also I stared at myself int he mirror for awhile since my pupils freaked me out, they were so huge.
I began wigging again since it felt like hundreds of bugs were crawling all over me. I stumbled into my room and finally made it to my bed, which began sinking into the floor. All around me were so many small and insignificant noises but there were so many of them. Creakings, moans, people talking in the closet. It was all very nerve racking and I had a hard time falling asleep. Finally I did.
The next mornign I woke up, still feeling kinda trippy, and it took me a good 5 minutes before I remebered what I had taken. I was so shaken and panicked about what had happened. I was wishing it was all a dream or that half of what I remembered happening didnt since I knew I had made a complete and utter fool of myself the previous night. It took me a good couple days to recover from this horrible experience. Im not sure if I ever want to take mushrooms again, or even THINK about trying acid. All I know is that I showed an incredible lack of control or responsibilty that night. I could blame it on the alchohal, but I think I would have misjudged the dose anyways. Im going to wait a long time before I take anymore pyschedelics since everything that Ive been burying inside of me the past few weeks came out during the trip and was too intense to handle.
So take this advice from me: Know your dosages, DO NOT mix pyschedelics with other drugs if youve never taken that particular substance. Stay in a calm setting, and furthermore, do NOT take psychs. if youve been depressed recently or have been going through major emotional upheaval.
Ive always heard this advice and given it to others, but I was too stupid to follow it myself. I had to learn the hard way. So, as a warning to others, please be careful. You might think you can handel anything when it comes to drugs[as I thought] but everyone has their limits, and I far surpassed mine. So, everyone, be careful, please. I wouldnt want anyone to fuck up and go through what I have.
Peace everyone.
This is a report on my first trip on mushrooms. Im going to admit right now i was totally irresponsible that night and that this experience has made me realize just how powerful certain drugs are and that they are not playthings. This experience has caused me to take a hard look at the way and manner i use drugs, and Ive since decided to cut down on my drug use significantly.
This is a warning to people who take drugs they know little about and arent mentally prepared for what might happen.
Im a pretty experienced user of drugs, and I have plenty of expericence with other hallucinogens however nothing I had ever done would have prepared me for this experience.
Previous substance experience: cannibas, DXM, PCP, MethAmphetamine[had a bad meth habit for several months shortly before this trip], LSA, Cocaine, Misc. Inhalents[N2O, Ether etc] MDMA, MDA, Nutmeg, Bendadryl, Misc. Painkillers, DextroAmphetamine and Amphetamine, OTC stimulants[ephedrine etc] Alcohal, Nicotine, Caffiene
[This was the first really bad experience on any drug, not including a mild case of amphetamine psychosis from doing too much speed.]
_____________________
Substances consumed:
4-6 shots of vodka
10 Hits smoked cannibas
1 unknown muscle relaxer[possilbly soma]
1/2 Oz mushrooms
_______________________________________
At the time of this trip, I had had a terrible week, Im not going to go into details but basically my life was coming to pieces, and this contributed greatly to the horrible trip i had.
Over the course of the four or so hours before ingesting the mushrooms I had gone ghost hunting with some friends. We did encounter some extremely inexplicable shit out there in the various locations we visited. I beleive this must have contributed in some way to the trip, more on that later. We returned to their house and got pretty much shit faced drunk. We walked down to my house and smoked a blunt with some friends. They left I stuck with the group of friend I had smoked with. At this point I was feeling pretty good, generally drunk and stoned and just being very friendly and outgoing. My friend H bought some mushrooms from R. I had found a mushroom in a yard that I thought looked like an active. I showed it to R who looked it over and told me it was a pretty good bet is was active. The stem bruised blue very quickly and R was pretty confident it was a ps. cubenesis. So we walked out to the yard where I found. [BTW ironically this yard belonged to the group of punks i was hanging out earlier that evening]
We picked dozens of the shrooms that were out there. T and I ate about 6 caps apiece. I later ate some more. I probably consumed about 8 whole mushrooms in all, which likely weighed on about a 1/2 oz. 1/8 oz is the standard dose for one person. I was so drunk and enthusiastic about having shrooms I wasnt thinking straight and took far more then I should have. Everything was fine for awhile. I began to grin from ear to ear and I was giggling a whole lot. I remeber hearing someone say "M's got the grins real bad"
At this point my memory of the experience begins to get very fuzzy so a lot of what follows is going to be what I remember, and what I was told I was doing/saying. What I remeber at the point was some of us, I dont recall whom, sat down and chilled in my room for awhile. We turned on a strobe light and possibly some music too. Someone came to my window and knocked on it, and at the same time my dad came and knocked on the door. I remember that the knocks began to echo and reverberate around the room till there were hundreds of pounding noises all around me. My dad told us to leave. Evidentally we drove to a friend's house although I remeber nothign of the drive. Once there I remember rolling around on the floor and laughing. I was staring and people around the room[which got me bitched out BTW by some people who didnt know me or that I was tripping] Everyone's faces were completely alien to me.
For awhile after this I have a huge blank. And what I do remember is all jumbled up and I cannot possibly put it in any kind of chronological order. Evidently we returned to T's house. At this point I started wigging out. I guess I had hit the peak and couldnt handel it. Im told that I began kicking shit in the room, the walls, and dresser, and attacking things that werent there. K said I was screaming about mushrooms and people eating my face at this point. I remember however laying on the floor where I must have been freaking out badly. I remeber feeling like my face was melting off and I beleived that someone had sewn my mouth shut. At this point I remember being fucking terrified, and I know I was kickign and screaming a whole lot. T and K got in my face several times and told me to shut the fuck up or else I was going to get my ass throughouly beat. This put me into a terrible state of frozen panic. I remember seeing them over me, they were the most terrifieing beings I had ever witnessed. Behind them there was fire and the room was burning and melting and shifting from various shades of orange, red and black. By this point I had completely and utterly lost contact with reality. K tried to talk me down by comforting me. This did absolutly no good whatsoever since I was so delusional I thought I was a herion addict and that that was the voice of herion conforting me. I remember watching a needle go into my arm and feeling the relief of injection. I also recall singing[at least in my head] a track by skinny puppy called harsh stone white which deals with herion addiction.At some point K walked in, but I thought I was T's dad.
"T's Dad" asked what the fuck was going on. I couldnt see his face but I screamed at his feet "NEEDLESPOON NEEDLESPOON I ATE TOO MANY DRUGS"
I spent the next few hours going from intense states of euphoria to dark pits of despair and panic. At one of the euphoric moments I was screaming at the tops of my lungs because it felt so good and I was yelling about how great I felt. I remember being in a tunnel of quickily shifting light. I guess I was kicking around on the floor a hwole lot becuase I remeber slamming into things[Im covered in bruises, cuts and scrapes, mostly on my face] I also thought at one point that I had killed myself and that I was stuck in purgatory, doomed for ever to repeat the same segment of time over and over. Im told I was in a verbal loop, saying the same 8 complete nonsense phrases over and over. I was completely incoherent, and none of the words i said made any sense to anyone else.
I was so terrified I had permanently fucked myself up, doomed forever to sit in a dark room filled with monsters. Time completely lost meaning and I was feeling my sanity slip away. I could not remember what drug I had taken. T said he heard me saying i was in a K-hole. I honestly had no idea what drugs I had consumed. I had no grasp on reality at all, I recall wondering who "M" was [that being me] I was in a hellacious world of pure delusion, I had no control over thoughts or my mood, nothing. I remember feeling like snakes were crawling through my body. Meraculously this did not scare me since I told myself "Dont move, just let them travel through you and you wont get hurt. At somepoint I pissed myself, I was tripping so hard.
I went to so many terrifying and dark hellacious places for the next few hours, most of them too terrifying and personal to want to relate them here. Suffice to say I had a horrible time, and I thought it was never going to end. Towards the end of the trip I thought I was in bed at the mental institute where I spent some time a few weeks ago. I remember halluncianting people standing over me going "Man he's been like that for weeks, when's he going to stop tripping"
FINALLY I fell asleep and woke up at about 4 am, still tripping pretty hard. This stage of the trip felt very much like a DXM trip. I was still halluncinating and definatly still tripping, however I wasnt nearly as unstable as before. I got up and walked to the bathroom to piss, and went back to T's room to find my shoes. I couldnt, I only found one of them. I ran home, barefoot, clutchig the shoe in one hand. I got to my house and struggled with the keys for awhile at the front door. Neither of my keys could fit and I began to panic again. Whats intersting about this point was K and T and H all know for a fact I had locked my keys in the house earlier, so this was all pure delusion.
So I desperatly rang the doorbell. My parents came down. I walked in and they demanded to know what was going on. I said I had taken "too much acid". Then I hurried downstairs because i saw several non existant people standing behind them in the shadows. I stumbled towards the shower, because I knew I had pissed all over myself and I didnt want to sleep like that.
My house was extremely distorted, the walls, floors and cielings were all the wrong size. rooms and hallways were either too large or too small, or too tall in the case of the bathroom. I struggled to get in the shower. My whole body was numb, and when I got out and got dressed I couldnt even tell if I was getting my clothes on or not. I was feeling very very agitated and paniced, but I kept myself under control.I still couldnt fugure out what drug I had taken. I thought it was either PCP or 2-CB but I honestly didnt know. So I stood in the bathroom getting absorbed in all the colors and also I stared at myself int he mirror for awhile since my pupils freaked me out, they were so huge.
I began wigging again since it felt like hundreds of bugs were crawling all over me. I stumbled into my room and finally made it to my bed, which began sinking into the floor. All around me were so many small and insignificant noises but there were so many of them. Creakings, moans, people talking in the closet. It was all very nerve racking and I had a hard time falling asleep. Finally I did.
The next mornign I woke up, still feeling kinda trippy, and it took me a good 5 minutes before I remebered what I had taken. I was so shaken and panicked about what had happened. I was wishing it was all a dream or that half of what I remembered happening didnt since I knew I had made a complete and utter fool of myself the previous night. It took me a good couple days to recover from this horrible experience. Im not sure if I ever want to take mushrooms again, or even THINK about trying acid. All I know is that I showed an incredible lack of control or responsibilty that night. I could blame it on the alchohal, but I think I would have misjudged the dose anyways. Im going to wait a long time before I take anymore pyschedelics since everything that Ive been burying inside of me the past few weeks came out during the trip and was too intense to handle.
So take this advice from me: Know your dosages, DO NOT mix pyschedelics with other drugs if youve never taken that particular substance. Stay in a calm setting, and furthermore, do NOT take psychs. if youve been depressed recently or have been going through major emotional upheaval.
Ive always heard this advice and given it to others, but I was too stupid to follow it myself. I had to learn the hard way. So, as a warning to others, please be careful. You might think you can handel anything when it comes to drugs[as I thought] but everyone has their limits, and I far surpassed mine. So, everyone, be careful, please. I wouldnt want anyone to fuck up and go through what I have.
Peace everyone.
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