My boyfriend, his brother and I were in the middle of nowhere, at a weekend EDM festival. I had dragged them there, excited to get my dance on, and hang out with some of our friends. The first night (friday) I had taken mdma with my boyfriend (our first time together) and had a wonderful experience.
The second night out plan was to take 1/8 of mushrooms each. This was my first time dealing with psychedelics. My bf's brother gave me them plain, and I forced them down. Feeling a bit sick from eating the disgusting mushrooms, we started the long walk to the first stage. While walking to the first stage, I noticed it starting to kick in. A large bush directly right to the stage shone purple in the lights, and was a gigantic, swirling monster. I was pumped by the first visuals and when we got to the stage, some talented fire dancers performed.
The night was young, and we danced a bit. However, I was getting cold, and wanted heat. I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go to the other stage with a fire pit. He agreed.
This was a mistake.
We left our large group of friends, and started the long walk toward the 2nd stage. I was freezing, and time stretched on without passing. It was dark, and by this time everything was dissolving into each other. The grass all around us looked like it was smeared into the sky. The mountains around us looked like childrens drawings only painted by a talented hand.
We decided to go to a closer large fire, which was were a group of people were sitting, laughing. (it was a public area) When we came in, their laughter stopped, and an awkward social situation ensued. I didn't know what to say or do, so I introduced myself politely. Everyone ignored me. I felt horrible, like I had been an intruder to their space. Felling the bad vibe, we took leave and said goodbye, and again they didn't say a thing. At this point, I really didn't know whether I had done something horrible because I was on drugs. All social situations were a big question mark in my brain, even though I acted as I had all the time (quiet and polite) . Everything I said that night met intense and unneeded scrutiny from myself.
My mood dropped and stayed that way for the rest of the night. I worried about whether what I was doing was wrong the whole night. I felt panicked and afraid of the dark and the people around me. I felt like I was trapped in a dream and it had always been that way. I was afraid I would die. But in the back of my mind I told myself, "It's the drug, It's the drug, It'll be over soon"
My poor boyfriend, bless his soul, put up with my panicky self all night. He walked with me when I needed to walk, wrapped me up in a blanket and held me when I was overwhelmed, and didn't complain.
He looked awful by the end of the night, and I apologized profusely for being a total downer.
Finally, after taking a walk and calming myself down, I was able to become extremely comfy and fall to sleep.
I have learned that I should probably not take that many mushrooms in the future, and that I would only do psychedelics in a comfortable and safe place. Being in a dark place with many people did not add to the experience in a positive manner. But I was also able to see some amazing visuals, and it was definitely an adventure. Overall, it was an interesting and eye-opening experience, but I'm going to stay away from mushrooms for a while.
Lesson learned.
The second night out plan was to take 1/8 of mushrooms each. This was my first time dealing with psychedelics. My bf's brother gave me them plain, and I forced them down. Feeling a bit sick from eating the disgusting mushrooms, we started the long walk to the first stage. While walking to the first stage, I noticed it starting to kick in. A large bush directly right to the stage shone purple in the lights, and was a gigantic, swirling monster. I was pumped by the first visuals and when we got to the stage, some talented fire dancers performed.
The night was young, and we danced a bit. However, I was getting cold, and wanted heat. I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go to the other stage with a fire pit. He agreed.
This was a mistake.
We left our large group of friends, and started the long walk toward the 2nd stage. I was freezing, and time stretched on without passing. It was dark, and by this time everything was dissolving into each other. The grass all around us looked like it was smeared into the sky. The mountains around us looked like childrens drawings only painted by a talented hand.
We decided to go to a closer large fire, which was were a group of people were sitting, laughing. (it was a public area) When we came in, their laughter stopped, and an awkward social situation ensued. I didn't know what to say or do, so I introduced myself politely. Everyone ignored me. I felt horrible, like I had been an intruder to their space. Felling the bad vibe, we took leave and said goodbye, and again they didn't say a thing. At this point, I really didn't know whether I had done something horrible because I was on drugs. All social situations were a big question mark in my brain, even though I acted as I had all the time (quiet and polite) . Everything I said that night met intense and unneeded scrutiny from myself.
My mood dropped and stayed that way for the rest of the night. I worried about whether what I was doing was wrong the whole night. I felt panicked and afraid of the dark and the people around me. I felt like I was trapped in a dream and it had always been that way. I was afraid I would die. But in the back of my mind I told myself, "It's the drug, It's the drug, It'll be over soon"
My poor boyfriend, bless his soul, put up with my panicky self all night. He walked with me when I needed to walk, wrapped me up in a blanket and held me when I was overwhelmed, and didn't complain.
He looked awful by the end of the night, and I apologized profusely for being a total downer.
Finally, after taking a walk and calming myself down, I was able to become extremely comfy and fall to sleep.
I have learned that I should probably not take that many mushrooms in the future, and that I would only do psychedelics in a comfortable and safe place. Being in a dark place with many people did not add to the experience in a positive manner. But I was also able to see some amazing visuals, and it was definitely an adventure. Overall, it was an interesting and eye-opening experience, but I'm going to stay away from mushrooms for a while.
Lesson learned.
