Amberthefrog
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2006
- Messages
- 428
Last night i had the most profound, terrorify, beutiful and refreshing experince of my known life. it is humbling to think that i, an irrelevent teenager who has done little to deserve such a thing could stumble upon so much just by eating 50 mushrooms. It was painful and horrbiel in a way, especially to begin with...because of this i am not sure i will ever try to repaet it... i may do, i don't know, not for a long time at least. I felt the need to put some of my thoughts into words, for my own future benefit as much as anyones, the following is what i have written the morning after. Excuse the spelling and grammar, along with the perhaps odd and rtaher pretantious style, its just how it came out as i wrote it.
Its a bit long and may be repetitive, i'm not sure if you will be intresteed but if so enjoy.
This is going to sound odd, you may laugh, raise an eyebrow or most likely forget however i would say on a timeline to infinity there is a fair chance you (whoever you are) will at one point, in the past (or the future) or the now relate to this and laugh. On some level. You may already know what i am talking about, you may already know much more than me. Fine, i wouldn't contest that for i appreciate some people have worked for years to gain insight where as i have just stumbled with no real right upon it. I know i know nothing and it feels great.
At ~8:20-8:35 on 19th October 2007 (that’s yesterday!) i found a switchboard. It was not a normal switch board, i knew that for the word go...but even the switchboard which we perceive to be the strangest can only get stranger, if, for one minute we stop and think...and laugh.
So i had this switchboard, lets call it 'Gary', i started playing with the switches, i had an idea, a hope, a fantasy of what could occur. I was wrong...oh so wrong.
For some bastard/fool/lovely person wired humanity up to be a relatively powerful race, if such we really be. Anyway so i flick some switches, consider the safety of doing so...i mean who really knows what these switches are doing? We (i/all) can see the immediate affects but everything is linked, and at the end of the day it is all.
After flicking a few switches not a lot has happened, i don't feel to great but not to bad. Like a mouse that has been trodden on? So i go and have a bath, which is nice but a little vague. Then i return back to my room. Now the switchboard operator does not take kindly to pretentious kids playing with his circuits, after all to fathom *IT* you need experience and that is something i lack. It is about 9:00 i think, maybe a bit later.
So the switchboard operator looks down upon me, seeing and arrogant, cocky teenager, this teenager shows progress...he understands what he is to a degree, or rather knows he is not. He is a fairly nice guy, when he chooses to be. Experience is the key, for everyone at all times ever. So the switchboard operator decides to play a little game. He starts altering the circuits...the human circuits...the nodes...neurons...rewiring....
Then i happens, slowly and surely. It is rough like navigating Drakes Pass on a turtle. The boy smiles half-knowingly, for deep down he knows what will happen. In life something’s draw you...instincts...premonitions. This was one the boy was gifted with, for being adventurous and greedy he like to tamper with things. BUT HE WASN'T PREPARED. Or so he thought when he realised the South Park episode he was watching was not funny and wave collapse was about to occur. In a VERY big way. At this moment he was thinking
-_- <_< Why did i do this? Oh well, we all must learn, it is an exponential growth curve to infinity, then back again.
It is about 9:15 things are getting a little dodgy. The boys father could ring, or his parents could come. Talking is difficult with eyes closed. At this moment in time this is the last thing the boy wants, to be disturbed in his eternal wakening. He desperately fights it, fights the laughing switchboard operator, the narrative voice inside of his head laughs 'you have really done it this time, oh well' The boy, being self assured and confident still believes he can survive, he just has to distract himself. So he listens to music, of different genre, watches the rugby, reads forums. But to no avail. Everything is only going one way for the boy and he knows it. To reach heaven one must navigate hell, at this moment the boy prays...not to God as such for he has no God, but to the cosmos, to everything...he prays that this nightmare with be a useful experience and that he will not regret it. What ever you do in life have no regrets. Love people, be caring, help, go with the flow. If you make mistakes and slip up, fuck up or if your human greed and emotions push you towards negativity do not dwell on this.
It is about 9:30, the switchboard operator has had a bit of a laugh now...seeing the boy shudder and want out. The boy has come close in the past, he has seen the doors of perception and realised that there is nothing...he just has not accepted this with any conviction. It's time to play dice with his soul. A collapse occours. The boy is on his bed, with his headphones on, trying to regain some positive aspects of the moment. Then it hits. People sometimes think they have been hit by the eternal wave, and many have, once the wave hits you WILL know about it. Everything gets hit by the wave at some point in 'time', for many 'humans' this is when they die. But there are different forms of deaths just as there are different forms of life. The boy was about to experience one of them, at that time he didn't feel privileged...he felt terrified.
Its still 9:30, time has not changed but events have. Things can happen outside of time. The boys reality goes 2D for a moment, things are speeding up, the tempo of the universe is building around. On the planet Earth it is fairly likely at that specific time no one or few others are experiencing similar. Of course some always experience, the trained and experienced. Mainly Easton monks perhaps. The boy doesn't know. What he does know is a storm is coming, time is not moving. This is his moment, for him at least. People can experince greater, he knows this, there are NO limits to anything’s when push comes to shove, but at this time, relative to him...a normalish teenage boy this is IT.
Voices are calling him, alien voices, human voices, voices he knows...he knows now he is going home...for the first time since his birth. He is still terrified, more so than ever. There is no way back. A field of energy is building. It takes all his strength and concentration to break the threads that are pulling him towards, just so he can get up and go for a piss and get a drink. H will need this, to take care of his body. He is young and strong, he hopes he is strong enough and is not about to be torn asunder in more ways than he expects.
It is still 9:30.
It all builds, all emotions thrown into one, contradictions, he can no longer move...he is pressed to his bed looking light a rabbit caught in headlights. Then light happens, pure, yet impure light. Colours, feelings and emotions the bo has never experienced. He is energy. Everything is made of energy, or lack of energy to his knowledge. The energy is just quantified. Now the packets holding this energy are melting up. His soul splits from his body, fire. Pure energy racks him...he is pure energy. Then for one moment he there is nothing...then a screech...an eternal cosmic screech that builds up and up and up forever. A force so powerful is open to him, he feels an erge to tap into it, then it would be over...he would see it all instantly. But he knows that would destroy him...his mind and body would be torn form space time, forever. He does not want that yet...or maybe ever. These things have to be shown slowly in order for the human mind to survive them.
So the boy reaches out and realises the universe is humming...it has a tune...its beat...it comes in waaavvvvvessss. The boy is everything still, good, bad emotions, those he cannot fathom, thrown into an eternal mess. It is till building. up and up, for he has opened the doors of perception and no longer has any control...his connection with reality is dissolving fast...he knows now he will die, for he is being called home. It is 9:45 or so...the last 15 minutes had lasted forever for the boy. He had experienced alt6erations in time speed before but NOTHING like this...infinity. He feels like a beacon...burning across the universe, he is sure the people he is thinking of must be experiencing this...
he sends out messages...packets of information...he realises he can do anything....he is no longer terrified...he is no longer anything...he, along with the multiverse just is...forever and ever a humours concept called time...for ever and ever...an eternitygasm. It hurts, he feels the hurt of the world energy, he thinks it will end...it will destroy itself...he will destroy it...man will destroy it...and slowly...over millions of years...navigating everything there is he realises...he never ends...but goes on forever...a never ending journey called time...a never ending journey...an eternitygasm.
Over the next hour he experiences things he feels like he has no right to see...what has he done to warrant this, why is he blessed. The answer is, he realises, blessing are subjective...with a slightly different personality at a slightly different time he could be being cursed. He has reached this point by being curious...inquisitive. He knows his life will change. he considers changing things...making the world goood...but he knows he has no power really...he is just being shown a glimpse. Relative to others he has been blessed but relative to the more blessed he is cursed. There are always better things and worse things, there are always no limits...forever and ever an eternitygasm.
He is the heart of it all, for that moment...for that night...the world has been given to him...a part of it... small part that, if he messes up will only lead to his own destruction. He contemplates evils...he could end so many things now...couldn’t he? He could alter his life, making everything how he wants it to be! He sets to work, although he chooses good...he will make things good!
As the night wares on he becomes humbled... he realises he has no right...at all...all changes he can make to himself can occur but they will occur in the normal world as a product of his actions. Forever and ever. Time has no meaning, yet so much meaning...he has experienced things he knows will remain with him until he dies...be that the next day or in 60 years...they will remain then...and beyond. He no longer fears death for he thinks he has fathomed what will happen, and if he hasn't then so...? Does it matter? Forever and ever. He feels the need to help people, set things right in the world but knows deep down this enlightenment won't last...for he is human and humans are greedy, proud creatures. He also knows though that some part of this will last with him, he will never return entirely to himself. He will not mess with switchboards again, ever or at least for a while...until he feels the need. At this moment he has all. He cries...with terror...with love...with pure emotion...he knows he should cry more. He hates the human machismo complex, but he also knows he is a male human being with testosterone flowing in his veins...therefore the machismo complex will be with him for this life at least. This isn't bad, this is how its suppose to be. Forever and ever.
Slowly he sends his consciousness back on a slip road...back to reality...the norm...his head hurts...burns...feverish...his body aches to the last molecule..
he has barely survived...but now pure love overwhelms him. The wounds are cleansed he has been reborn.
He wakes up in the morning feeling awesome, he knows love, happiness and open-mindedness are the keys he needs, it will be hard but through life he will slowly unlock the doors and become a better person. Change cannot happen overnight, but the desire to can. For the last few years he has been on the right tracks and generally has been good, he has done some things that have hurt some people, he is sorry and will try to avoid this in the future. His life is changed...yet remains the same…forever and ever...an eternitygasm.
I normal...really, or at least i will be in a week or five. I’m still on the slip road and feeling a little fried! Peace and love.
+4
I would jsut like to finnaly say a big thank you to all the people on here who write reports, it is by reading these that i developed a hidden desire to get this far i think. There is a long way to go in life but i feel privildged to have taken this step.
Its a bit long and may be repetitive, i'm not sure if you will be intresteed but if so enjoy.
This is going to sound odd, you may laugh, raise an eyebrow or most likely forget however i would say on a timeline to infinity there is a fair chance you (whoever you are) will at one point, in the past (or the future) or the now relate to this and laugh. On some level. You may already know what i am talking about, you may already know much more than me. Fine, i wouldn't contest that for i appreciate some people have worked for years to gain insight where as i have just stumbled with no real right upon it. I know i know nothing and it feels great.
At ~8:20-8:35 on 19th October 2007 (that’s yesterday!) i found a switchboard. It was not a normal switch board, i knew that for the word go...but even the switchboard which we perceive to be the strangest can only get stranger, if, for one minute we stop and think...and laugh.
So i had this switchboard, lets call it 'Gary', i started playing with the switches, i had an idea, a hope, a fantasy of what could occur. I was wrong...oh so wrong.
For some bastard/fool/lovely person wired humanity up to be a relatively powerful race, if such we really be. Anyway so i flick some switches, consider the safety of doing so...i mean who really knows what these switches are doing? We (i/all) can see the immediate affects but everything is linked, and at the end of the day it is all.
After flicking a few switches not a lot has happened, i don't feel to great but not to bad. Like a mouse that has been trodden on? So i go and have a bath, which is nice but a little vague. Then i return back to my room. Now the switchboard operator does not take kindly to pretentious kids playing with his circuits, after all to fathom *IT* you need experience and that is something i lack. It is about 9:00 i think, maybe a bit later.
So the switchboard operator looks down upon me, seeing and arrogant, cocky teenager, this teenager shows progress...he understands what he is to a degree, or rather knows he is not. He is a fairly nice guy, when he chooses to be. Experience is the key, for everyone at all times ever. So the switchboard operator decides to play a little game. He starts altering the circuits...the human circuits...the nodes...neurons...rewiring....
Then i happens, slowly and surely. It is rough like navigating Drakes Pass on a turtle. The boy smiles half-knowingly, for deep down he knows what will happen. In life something’s draw you...instincts...premonitions. This was one the boy was gifted with, for being adventurous and greedy he like to tamper with things. BUT HE WASN'T PREPARED. Or so he thought when he realised the South Park episode he was watching was not funny and wave collapse was about to occur. In a VERY big way. At this moment he was thinking
-_- <_< Why did i do this? Oh well, we all must learn, it is an exponential growth curve to infinity, then back again. It is about 9:15 things are getting a little dodgy. The boys father could ring, or his parents could come. Talking is difficult with eyes closed. At this moment in time this is the last thing the boy wants, to be disturbed in his eternal wakening. He desperately fights it, fights the laughing switchboard operator, the narrative voice inside of his head laughs 'you have really done it this time, oh well' The boy, being self assured and confident still believes he can survive, he just has to distract himself. So he listens to music, of different genre, watches the rugby, reads forums. But to no avail. Everything is only going one way for the boy and he knows it. To reach heaven one must navigate hell, at this moment the boy prays...not to God as such for he has no God, but to the cosmos, to everything...he prays that this nightmare with be a useful experience and that he will not regret it. What ever you do in life have no regrets. Love people, be caring, help, go with the flow. If you make mistakes and slip up, fuck up or if your human greed and emotions push you towards negativity do not dwell on this.
It is about 9:30, the switchboard operator has had a bit of a laugh now...seeing the boy shudder and want out. The boy has come close in the past, he has seen the doors of perception and realised that there is nothing...he just has not accepted this with any conviction. It's time to play dice with his soul. A collapse occours. The boy is on his bed, with his headphones on, trying to regain some positive aspects of the moment. Then it hits. People sometimes think they have been hit by the eternal wave, and many have, once the wave hits you WILL know about it. Everything gets hit by the wave at some point in 'time', for many 'humans' this is when they die. But there are different forms of deaths just as there are different forms of life. The boy was about to experience one of them, at that time he didn't feel privileged...he felt terrified.
Its still 9:30, time has not changed but events have. Things can happen outside of time. The boys reality goes 2D for a moment, things are speeding up, the tempo of the universe is building around. On the planet Earth it is fairly likely at that specific time no one or few others are experiencing similar. Of course some always experience, the trained and experienced. Mainly Easton monks perhaps. The boy doesn't know. What he does know is a storm is coming, time is not moving. This is his moment, for him at least. People can experince greater, he knows this, there are NO limits to anything’s when push comes to shove, but at this time, relative to him...a normalish teenage boy this is IT.
Voices are calling him, alien voices, human voices, voices he knows...he knows now he is going home...for the first time since his birth. He is still terrified, more so than ever. There is no way back. A field of energy is building. It takes all his strength and concentration to break the threads that are pulling him towards, just so he can get up and go for a piss and get a drink. H will need this, to take care of his body. He is young and strong, he hopes he is strong enough and is not about to be torn asunder in more ways than he expects.
It is still 9:30.
It all builds, all emotions thrown into one, contradictions, he can no longer move...he is pressed to his bed looking light a rabbit caught in headlights. Then light happens, pure, yet impure light. Colours, feelings and emotions the bo has never experienced. He is energy. Everything is made of energy, or lack of energy to his knowledge. The energy is just quantified. Now the packets holding this energy are melting up. His soul splits from his body, fire. Pure energy racks him...he is pure energy. Then for one moment he there is nothing...then a screech...an eternal cosmic screech that builds up and up and up forever. A force so powerful is open to him, he feels an erge to tap into it, then it would be over...he would see it all instantly. But he knows that would destroy him...his mind and body would be torn form space time, forever. He does not want that yet...or maybe ever. These things have to be shown slowly in order for the human mind to survive them.
So the boy reaches out and realises the universe is humming...it has a tune...its beat...it comes in waaavvvvvessss. The boy is everything still, good, bad emotions, those he cannot fathom, thrown into an eternal mess. It is till building. up and up, for he has opened the doors of perception and no longer has any control...his connection with reality is dissolving fast...he knows now he will die, for he is being called home. It is 9:45 or so...the last 15 minutes had lasted forever for the boy. He had experienced alt6erations in time speed before but NOTHING like this...infinity. He feels like a beacon...burning across the universe, he is sure the people he is thinking of must be experiencing this...
he sends out messages...packets of information...he realises he can do anything....he is no longer terrified...he is no longer anything...he, along with the multiverse just is...forever and ever a humours concept called time...for ever and ever...an eternitygasm. It hurts, he feels the hurt of the world energy, he thinks it will end...it will destroy itself...he will destroy it...man will destroy it...and slowly...over millions of years...navigating everything there is he realises...he never ends...but goes on forever...a never ending journey called time...a never ending journey...an eternitygasm.
Over the next hour he experiences things he feels like he has no right to see...what has he done to warrant this, why is he blessed. The answer is, he realises, blessing are subjective...with a slightly different personality at a slightly different time he could be being cursed. He has reached this point by being curious...inquisitive. He knows his life will change. he considers changing things...making the world goood...but he knows he has no power really...he is just being shown a glimpse. Relative to others he has been blessed but relative to the more blessed he is cursed. There are always better things and worse things, there are always no limits...forever and ever an eternitygasm.
He is the heart of it all, for that moment...for that night...the world has been given to him...a part of it... small part that, if he messes up will only lead to his own destruction. He contemplates evils...he could end so many things now...couldn’t he? He could alter his life, making everything how he wants it to be! He sets to work, although he chooses good...he will make things good!
As the night wares on he becomes humbled... he realises he has no right...at all...all changes he can make to himself can occur but they will occur in the normal world as a product of his actions. Forever and ever. Time has no meaning, yet so much meaning...he has experienced things he knows will remain with him until he dies...be that the next day or in 60 years...they will remain then...and beyond. He no longer fears death for he thinks he has fathomed what will happen, and if he hasn't then so...? Does it matter? Forever and ever. He feels the need to help people, set things right in the world but knows deep down this enlightenment won't last...for he is human and humans are greedy, proud creatures. He also knows though that some part of this will last with him, he will never return entirely to himself. He will not mess with switchboards again, ever or at least for a while...until he feels the need. At this moment he has all. He cries...with terror...with love...with pure emotion...he knows he should cry more. He hates the human machismo complex, but he also knows he is a male human being with testosterone flowing in his veins...therefore the machismo complex will be with him for this life at least. This isn't bad, this is how its suppose to be. Forever and ever.
Slowly he sends his consciousness back on a slip road...back to reality...the norm...his head hurts...burns...feverish...his body aches to the last molecule..
he has barely survived...but now pure love overwhelms him. The wounds are cleansed he has been reborn.
He wakes up in the morning feeling awesome, he knows love, happiness and open-mindedness are the keys he needs, it will be hard but through life he will slowly unlock the doors and become a better person. Change cannot happen overnight, but the desire to can. For the last few years he has been on the right tracks and generally has been good, he has done some things that have hurt some people, he is sorry and will try to avoid this in the future. His life is changed...yet remains the same…forever and ever...an eternitygasm.
I normal...really, or at least i will be in a week or five. I’m still on the slip road and feeling a little fried! Peace and love.
+4
I would jsut like to finnaly say a big thank you to all the people on here who write reports, it is by reading these that i developed a hidden desire to get this far i think. There is a long way to go in life but i feel privildged to have taken this step.
