This trip report was sent to me in the form of an audio file from a good friend of mine, with the intention of having it transcribed and submitted to Bluelight. The audio file itself, for those who wish it, can be found here:http://www.zshare.net/audio/10444871ecb28a86/ .
I have tried to do my best to clean up grammatical errors/inconsistencies/repeats in order to make it more readable, and yet have tried to maintain as much of my friend’s voice as possible. If anyone has any reason to be bothered about why I am submitting other people’s reports feel free to PM me.
My friend, who will go by J, has an experienced background in psychedelics: mescaline (suspected to be 2C-B or related), 5-MeO-DiPT, mushrooms (multiple), LSD (multiple), MDMA (multiple), DXM (multiple), and cannabis (uncountable). To my knowledge this is his only bad trip.
“Ok, it actually started off with me purchasing three grams of those potent mushrooms. It all started with driving in the car. A* looks at me and he goes “Hey I’m starting to feel this”, and I’m like “Ok, you’re starting to feel this; I personally don’t believe you but this is how I feel”. So I’m just sitting there and we're driving. I’m in the passenger seat. The whole time I’m just looking at the side of the road. Then I start tripping. It’s this overwhelming lifted feeling. My whole body gets this “Hey I’m putting on this pinnacle” feeling, it’s almost like you’re coming up to a roll. I start thinking that we’re going to careen into the side of the road. So I start to freak out and I’m freaking out about that. And it starts getting hectic. And it’s just like… I’m tripping then. It’s only been after like 30 minutes after taking them.
We go to a house and everything’s just going by really, really quickly. I have no sense of time. I’ll note that later with the sense of time thing. We go to a friend’s house, do a couple of things, and then we go to your house Nikol. And then at your house, I lose all motor functions. I’m [un]able to walk; I try to walk from your living room to your kitchen, which is like 20 feet. I lose ALL motor functions. I’m incapable of walking between people. And the whole time it’s fun; it’s this joyous, joyous thing. Very, very, very intense visuals. I was looking at your windows and the shades were just rippling to the extreme. Then I laid on your ground and became a slob because I was incapable of moving and such; then we left. On our way home I started doing- it’s a John thing, but it’s where I tweak out and do this robot thing (I like doing robot noises). And so I ended up doing robot noises for the whole trip home, which took forever, being that we had no sense of time. It left, I dunno… The whole trip was like if you were to extend your hand out in front of your face and look at your fingers, and then walk everywhere you were going and put the point where you were going at your fingertips; but couldn’t- you were always trying to reach that point but you couldn’t actually get to it- that was the trip. That was the point, all the way up- that was probably 45 minutes after taking the shrooms- you couldn’t get to the point, time was taking too long, your body was just this lifted feeling; and then that’s where it started to decline.
We actually tripped with a big group of people. And I noticed one kid that hadn’t tripped before and he had eaten just as much I had, 3 grams**. I went over there and started to comfort him, I was like, “It’s all in your head man, it’s all cool”, stuff like this, but at the same time I’m fighting my own demons. The thing is I kept getting caught in the loop; I would be sitting there thinking “everything is cool, but if everything is cool then why am I tripping so hard… but if I wasn’t tripping so hard...” It's just this kind of [per]petual circle thought. And once you get caught in it your thoughts only rotate around it. It’s like, I dunno. I don’t know what it’s called. But that’s what it felt. Later on through the night; it didn’t hit me hard, but it was this sheer oppressive thought, that I felt that I needed to change stuff within me, but at the same time I couldn’t. I longed to be sober*.
I dunno, it’s been quite some time so I lose a lot thought over what’s actually happened. But I mean it went from something that felt almost like this really high, like you’re were rolling, your teeth started to grit and everything, it really felt like you were actually lifted; then it went to this sluggish, no motor function; and then it went to this [dreary], it’s-in-your-head, this aggressive thing, so it wasn’t anything like shrooms are particularly. It makes you feel like everything’s against you automatically, it’s not like peaceful thought, where you’re all joyous and stuff, but you can pick out what you hate and what you don’t like in people, and it’s not something that you typically do when you’re on shrooms. And then I also kept on thinking about how deer** die and such. And that’s my trip, and it was by far my most intense trip I’ve ever had, and I won’t be doing it very often afterwards.”
*A is a close friend of J’s, who is also experienced in psychoactives. A couple of weeks before this trip, J had approached me asking for some help with A; saying that he was starting to use psychedelics in the same way as alcohol and other drugs- to be messed up, just to feel high. He said that A was starting to a approach it with the mindset of “looking for bigger and better highs”. J was worried about this and had asked if there was any way I could talk to him. I believe I may have said a few comments briefly, but I never actually gotten a chance to talk to him in depth, or even start to broach the subject seriously. When J and I first discussed the trip, one of the first points he was quick to bring up was that even though it was, classically, a bad trip, he felt that had learned so much from it and he was glad that it had happened. When he made the comment about “wishing to be sober” my initial suspicion was that it was due to unsettled drug issues- which the report later reconfirmed in my mind. A had the worst time of anyone that night- speaking of feeling like a demon and directly stating that his trip is what brought everyone else down.
**I had a chance to speak to his person earlier in the day, while hanging out with him, A, and J. I was very quick to put his mind at ease, assuring him that 3 grams was a beautiful thing that he should embrace and enjoy, given that he would be in the comfortable setting of close friends that he felt very emotionally connected to. His only other drug experience outside of marijuana was an incredible night with good MDMA, shared with the same people he was to be tripping with that night. Everyone seemed to be in a fantastic mood at the prospect of tripping together.
***The deer comment is simply an inside story between the two of us, don’t try to make sense of it.
The only other comment I have to make is that the person who had not tripped before, I don’t believe, would have had a bad time without A and J getting caught up in their own issues. Nowhere in the report does J give any indication that the newcomer needed comforting, yet he felt as if he did- this, I believe, is what brought him down (he did speak of ending up having a bad trip when we all got together a few days later to talk about it). If anything it just goes to show how much pure thought can become the only tool necessary for communication at a higher/generally unreachable/subconscious level. Or how MDMA can bond people in the same way psychedelics can. Any one will work...
edit:: this is the follow-up e-mail from my friend with his comments on the report:
J--- G. to me
show details 2:58 PM (7 hours ago)
Yeah, this sounds great!
I give you all means of publishing this trip.
I'd like to follow up with what I was meaning about the "comforting" with the kid who was tripping the first time.
All I was trying to do was give him the sense of ownership. I gave him a light stick so he could take control of the situation and not lose it all. These shrooms were so potent that you lose all capabilities of control. Control was the defining factor between good and bad trip.
I have tried to do my best to clean up grammatical errors/inconsistencies/repeats in order to make it more readable, and yet have tried to maintain as much of my friend’s voice as possible. If anyone has any reason to be bothered about why I am submitting other people’s reports feel free to PM me.
My friend, who will go by J, has an experienced background in psychedelics: mescaline (suspected to be 2C-B or related), 5-MeO-DiPT, mushrooms (multiple), LSD (multiple), MDMA (multiple), DXM (multiple), and cannabis (uncountable). To my knowledge this is his only bad trip.
“Ok, it actually started off with me purchasing three grams of those potent mushrooms. It all started with driving in the car. A* looks at me and he goes “Hey I’m starting to feel this”, and I’m like “Ok, you’re starting to feel this; I personally don’t believe you but this is how I feel”. So I’m just sitting there and we're driving. I’m in the passenger seat. The whole time I’m just looking at the side of the road. Then I start tripping. It’s this overwhelming lifted feeling. My whole body gets this “Hey I’m putting on this pinnacle” feeling, it’s almost like you’re coming up to a roll. I start thinking that we’re going to careen into the side of the road. So I start to freak out and I’m freaking out about that. And it starts getting hectic. And it’s just like… I’m tripping then. It’s only been after like 30 minutes after taking them.
We go to a house and everything’s just going by really, really quickly. I have no sense of time. I’ll note that later with the sense of time thing. We go to a friend’s house, do a couple of things, and then we go to your house Nikol. And then at your house, I lose all motor functions. I’m [un]able to walk; I try to walk from your living room to your kitchen, which is like 20 feet. I lose ALL motor functions. I’m incapable of walking between people. And the whole time it’s fun; it’s this joyous, joyous thing. Very, very, very intense visuals. I was looking at your windows and the shades were just rippling to the extreme. Then I laid on your ground and became a slob because I was incapable of moving and such; then we left. On our way home I started doing- it’s a John thing, but it’s where I tweak out and do this robot thing (I like doing robot noises). And so I ended up doing robot noises for the whole trip home, which took forever, being that we had no sense of time. It left, I dunno… The whole trip was like if you were to extend your hand out in front of your face and look at your fingers, and then walk everywhere you were going and put the point where you were going at your fingertips; but couldn’t- you were always trying to reach that point but you couldn’t actually get to it- that was the trip. That was the point, all the way up- that was probably 45 minutes after taking the shrooms- you couldn’t get to the point, time was taking too long, your body was just this lifted feeling; and then that’s where it started to decline.
We actually tripped with a big group of people. And I noticed one kid that hadn’t tripped before and he had eaten just as much I had, 3 grams**. I went over there and started to comfort him, I was like, “It’s all in your head man, it’s all cool”, stuff like this, but at the same time I’m fighting my own demons. The thing is I kept getting caught in the loop; I would be sitting there thinking “everything is cool, but if everything is cool then why am I tripping so hard… but if I wasn’t tripping so hard...” It's just this kind of [per]petual circle thought. And once you get caught in it your thoughts only rotate around it. It’s like, I dunno. I don’t know what it’s called. But that’s what it felt. Later on through the night; it didn’t hit me hard, but it was this sheer oppressive thought, that I felt that I needed to change stuff within me, but at the same time I couldn’t. I longed to be sober*.
I dunno, it’s been quite some time so I lose a lot thought over what’s actually happened. But I mean it went from something that felt almost like this really high, like you’re were rolling, your teeth started to grit and everything, it really felt like you were actually lifted; then it went to this sluggish, no motor function; and then it went to this [dreary], it’s-in-your-head, this aggressive thing, so it wasn’t anything like shrooms are particularly. It makes you feel like everything’s against you automatically, it’s not like peaceful thought, where you’re all joyous and stuff, but you can pick out what you hate and what you don’t like in people, and it’s not something that you typically do when you’re on shrooms. And then I also kept on thinking about how deer** die and such. And that’s my trip, and it was by far my most intense trip I’ve ever had, and I won’t be doing it very often afterwards.”
*A is a close friend of J’s, who is also experienced in psychoactives. A couple of weeks before this trip, J had approached me asking for some help with A; saying that he was starting to use psychedelics in the same way as alcohol and other drugs- to be messed up, just to feel high. He said that A was starting to a approach it with the mindset of “looking for bigger and better highs”. J was worried about this and had asked if there was any way I could talk to him. I believe I may have said a few comments briefly, but I never actually gotten a chance to talk to him in depth, or even start to broach the subject seriously. When J and I first discussed the trip, one of the first points he was quick to bring up was that even though it was, classically, a bad trip, he felt that had learned so much from it and he was glad that it had happened. When he made the comment about “wishing to be sober” my initial suspicion was that it was due to unsettled drug issues- which the report later reconfirmed in my mind. A had the worst time of anyone that night- speaking of feeling like a demon and directly stating that his trip is what brought everyone else down.
**I had a chance to speak to his person earlier in the day, while hanging out with him, A, and J. I was very quick to put his mind at ease, assuring him that 3 grams was a beautiful thing that he should embrace and enjoy, given that he would be in the comfortable setting of close friends that he felt very emotionally connected to. His only other drug experience outside of marijuana was an incredible night with good MDMA, shared with the same people he was to be tripping with that night. Everyone seemed to be in a fantastic mood at the prospect of tripping together.
***The deer comment is simply an inside story between the two of us, don’t try to make sense of it.
The only other comment I have to make is that the person who had not tripped before, I don’t believe, would have had a bad time without A and J getting caught up in their own issues. Nowhere in the report does J give any indication that the newcomer needed comforting, yet he felt as if he did- this, I believe, is what brought him down (he did speak of ending up having a bad trip when we all got together a few days later to talk about it). If anything it just goes to show how much pure thought can become the only tool necessary for communication at a higher/generally unreachable/subconscious level. Or how MDMA can bond people in the same way psychedelics can. Any one will work...
edit:: this is the follow-up e-mail from my friend with his comments on the report:
J--- G. to me
show details 2:58 PM (7 hours ago)
Yeah, this sounds great!
I give you all means of publishing this trip.
I'd like to follow up with what I was meaning about the "comforting" with the kid who was tripping the first time.
All I was trying to do was give him the sense of ownership. I gave him a light stick so he could take control of the situation and not lose it all. These shrooms were so potent that you lose all capabilities of control. Control was the defining factor between good and bad trip.
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