3.5 grams cubensis, n2o and weed - somewhat experienced - goa
this took place at an outdoor goa festival; 3 floors, one goa, one techno and one alternative; the place was some kind of abandoned building site next to a forrest; the substances used were 3.5 g cubensis B+ dried, N2O and weed; the whole account is, of course, fictional;
when me and my best friend arrived at 9pm the place was still empty; we spent the first hour trying to get some weed (successfully) and worrying about the place not filling up; indeed, it remained rather empty until well after 12pm; anyway, as it was already quite cold, we soon settled at a campfire which was next to one of the floors and started smoking weed and doing N20; we noticed that putting two n2o bulbs into a balloon instead of one made a significant difference in terms of trip-intensity; at ca. 10:30 we ingested our shrooms; i found the best way is to take as much as one can into one's mouth and chew it together with choclate; although i never found the shrooms' taste really disgusting, it's not that good either; choclate really helps; we sat for a while and then, as we started to come up, left the fireplace and began to wander around;
this proved to be a mistake; the fire had been our area of calm, where it was warm and nothing threatened us; walking around was irritating for me; too many people and things; someone approached me and asked me if i want to buy two E's; for some reason i said yes, but i was already losing the concept of "money"; i just waved around with all notes i had in my wallet; the guy took it and stuffed two pills into my wallet; surprisingly he did not rip me off (though i don't know about pill quality and the money in my wallet just about equalled the amount needed); but he could have easily run away or not give me the pills, as i was already incoherent as fuck and he noticed; i forgot about the pills, only remembering them the next morning;
anyway, the friend i was with is a very good one and i know that he is a good partner for trips as he is able to "just let go", one of the most important things when tripping imho; anyway, we don't see each other very often because i study abroad, so there are some insecurities between us; these, of course, came to the fore now; apart from that and somewhat disturbingly it seemed to me that he was merely an image of me in a mirror; he noticed my uneasiness and got uneasy himself, but managed to persuade me to sit down somewhere; i was still coming up and by now was lost in a feeling of total non-understanding; i was asking myself things such as "what am i doing here?", "am i supposed to have fun?" and also things like "what do i really want? what shall i do with my life"; nothing made sense and at the same time i felt empty and dissatisfied; also, that i wasn't fitting in at the party; felt like a complete outsider;
however, we got over it; mainly by going back to the fire and sitting down there; i cannot emphasis enough how important a warm and friendly retreat is while tripping; as we reached this area of calm security, the beautiful fire and the warmth it was giving, my trip changed for the good; i was mumbling "just let go, just let go" to myself and to my friend...and i managed to do it;
i reached a blissful plateau where i remained for the next 2-3 hours; sitting next to the fire, i was fully caught up in the moment; enjoying the pure sensation of being alive; each second was so special; and _everything_ seemed to have its place; this was an overwhelming impression; it was almost as if i understood the "cycle of life"; the way things live and die and how it all makes sense; it is impossible to put it in words; but it gave me an unshakable confidence and great satisfaction; by now, i was feeling totally at ease; i was far beyond the stage where i could talk; raw emotions, images and "insights" where rocking my brain; i stood up and walked around; and the confidence and satisfaction remained with me; no questioning anymore; no uneasiness; no feeling that i was an outsider; I JUST WAS, and happy to be; i looked at ppl and danced for a short while (without any hesitation, although i usually have some when sober); my confidence was almost E-like, but built on deeper foundations;
what a strange and beautiful place it was; the beat bouncing in the background, laser and videoshows everywhere, lots of decoration in the tents, the stars above and the forest behind me, people of all kinds wandering around, many little huts selling this and that; and everything, it seemed to me, built wholy for the purpose of having a good time and enjoying the moment, enjoying life;
back at the fire, i suddenly noticed that tears where running down my cheeks; and i was smiling broadly; people looked at me and smiled back, obviously noticing the state i was in; i kept smiling and happily crying for the rest of the trip; i remained at the fire for the rest of the experience; watching it burn, going to pee once in a while; still reveling in every second; precious and glorious as every single seemed to me;
unfortunately, my friend was in a less stable condition; i did not notice this until he told me later; it was not too bad though; among other things, he was stressed by the fire which he thought would set his (long) hair alight; no big problem though, just not the perfect time i was having;
when we were coming down it was starting to rain; a banana had been squashed inside my bag and it was one fucking mess; for a moment things seemed to go out of hand and turn ugly; however, we managed to control ourself, clean up, get all our stuff together and retreat to our nearby car (a big van where we soon fell asleep);
well, it was a great, great experience; unfortunately i find it very hard to take this sensation of "living the moment" and that "everything has its place" with me to a sober state of mind; i sometimes manage, but never for long;
anyway; i am not sure if i will be able to get to such a plateau again; i hope; i think the secret is to truely let go; hold nothing back and just enjoy every moment; i think it is of major importance that you can fully trust the people you are tripping with; i can't emphasise it enough; if my friend had not been the guy he is, things could have turned ugly in the beginning; also, a safe place to retreat is of utmost importance; it provides a haven where you can flee to if things go wrong;
i will probably try to trip alone in a club on a somewhat smaller dose to see whether or not i will be able to "let go" in this more challenging surroundings without a friend or real hide-away (except the chill-out area);
this took place at an outdoor goa festival; 3 floors, one goa, one techno and one alternative; the place was some kind of abandoned building site next to a forrest; the substances used were 3.5 g cubensis B+ dried, N2O and weed; the whole account is, of course, fictional;
when me and my best friend arrived at 9pm the place was still empty; we spent the first hour trying to get some weed (successfully) and worrying about the place not filling up; indeed, it remained rather empty until well after 12pm; anyway, as it was already quite cold, we soon settled at a campfire which was next to one of the floors and started smoking weed and doing N20; we noticed that putting two n2o bulbs into a balloon instead of one made a significant difference in terms of trip-intensity; at ca. 10:30 we ingested our shrooms; i found the best way is to take as much as one can into one's mouth and chew it together with choclate; although i never found the shrooms' taste really disgusting, it's not that good either; choclate really helps; we sat for a while and then, as we started to come up, left the fireplace and began to wander around;
this proved to be a mistake; the fire had been our area of calm, where it was warm and nothing threatened us; walking around was irritating for me; too many people and things; someone approached me and asked me if i want to buy two E's; for some reason i said yes, but i was already losing the concept of "money"; i just waved around with all notes i had in my wallet; the guy took it and stuffed two pills into my wallet; surprisingly he did not rip me off (though i don't know about pill quality and the money in my wallet just about equalled the amount needed); but he could have easily run away or not give me the pills, as i was already incoherent as fuck and he noticed; i forgot about the pills, only remembering them the next morning;
anyway, the friend i was with is a very good one and i know that he is a good partner for trips as he is able to "just let go", one of the most important things when tripping imho; anyway, we don't see each other very often because i study abroad, so there are some insecurities between us; these, of course, came to the fore now; apart from that and somewhat disturbingly it seemed to me that he was merely an image of me in a mirror; he noticed my uneasiness and got uneasy himself, but managed to persuade me to sit down somewhere; i was still coming up and by now was lost in a feeling of total non-understanding; i was asking myself things such as "what am i doing here?", "am i supposed to have fun?" and also things like "what do i really want? what shall i do with my life"; nothing made sense and at the same time i felt empty and dissatisfied; also, that i wasn't fitting in at the party; felt like a complete outsider;
however, we got over it; mainly by going back to the fire and sitting down there; i cannot emphasis enough how important a warm and friendly retreat is while tripping; as we reached this area of calm security, the beautiful fire and the warmth it was giving, my trip changed for the good; i was mumbling "just let go, just let go" to myself and to my friend...and i managed to do it;
i reached a blissful plateau where i remained for the next 2-3 hours; sitting next to the fire, i was fully caught up in the moment; enjoying the pure sensation of being alive; each second was so special; and _everything_ seemed to have its place; this was an overwhelming impression; it was almost as if i understood the "cycle of life"; the way things live and die and how it all makes sense; it is impossible to put it in words; but it gave me an unshakable confidence and great satisfaction; by now, i was feeling totally at ease; i was far beyond the stage where i could talk; raw emotions, images and "insights" where rocking my brain; i stood up and walked around; and the confidence and satisfaction remained with me; no questioning anymore; no uneasiness; no feeling that i was an outsider; I JUST WAS, and happy to be; i looked at ppl and danced for a short while (without any hesitation, although i usually have some when sober); my confidence was almost E-like, but built on deeper foundations;
what a strange and beautiful place it was; the beat bouncing in the background, laser and videoshows everywhere, lots of decoration in the tents, the stars above and the forest behind me, people of all kinds wandering around, many little huts selling this and that; and everything, it seemed to me, built wholy for the purpose of having a good time and enjoying the moment, enjoying life;
back at the fire, i suddenly noticed that tears where running down my cheeks; and i was smiling broadly; people looked at me and smiled back, obviously noticing the state i was in; i kept smiling and happily crying for the rest of the trip; i remained at the fire for the rest of the experience; watching it burn, going to pee once in a while; still reveling in every second; precious and glorious as every single seemed to me;
unfortunately, my friend was in a less stable condition; i did not notice this until he told me later; it was not too bad though; among other things, he was stressed by the fire which he thought would set his (long) hair alight; no big problem though, just not the perfect time i was having;
when we were coming down it was starting to rain; a banana had been squashed inside my bag and it was one fucking mess; for a moment things seemed to go out of hand and turn ugly; however, we managed to control ourself, clean up, get all our stuff together and retreat to our nearby car (a big van where we soon fell asleep);
well, it was a great, great experience; unfortunately i find it very hard to take this sensation of "living the moment" and that "everything has its place" with me to a sober state of mind; i sometimes manage, but never for long;
anyway; i am not sure if i will be able to get to such a plateau again; i hope; i think the secret is to truely let go; hold nothing back and just enjoy every moment; i think it is of major importance that you can fully trust the people you are tripping with; i can't emphasise it enough; if my friend had not been the guy he is, things could have turned ugly in the beginning; also, a safe place to retreat is of utmost importance; it provides a haven where you can flee to if things go wrong;
i will probably try to trip alone in a club on a somewhat smaller dose to see whether or not i will be able to "let go" in this more challenging surroundings without a friend or real hide-away (except the chill-out area);
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