Word's cannot begin to explain this.
That sentence right there could not ring truer to this following story. I cannot believe what i have experienced. Using the English language is such a barrier, it was that intense.
It started on a Saturday morning. I was picking up some magic mushrooms from a friend. They were dried, and were 'his stronger ones' after having a relatively mild trip from the last batch. I never can have a really intense trip because its always up to me to find the mushrooms, and i can never find enough, so holding a bag of more than enough shrooms made me, feel really weird. I knew i was going to be getting myself into some intense stuff, but i didnt know how intense. I had done mushrooms 5 or so times prior, with my first time being devastatingly amazing, visually, but mentally i felt sober.
So, me and my friend had picked up the mushrooms. We had proximity 60 or so, some big some small, varying types native to New Zealand. The friend i picked them up from had suggested i try the 'lemon' method, which involves soaking the mushrooms in lemon juice till they go a little mushy, then mixing some orange/fruit juice with the lemon juice, and drinking the juice plus the chunky, vomit consistency mushrooms.
We had decided to park up the car in a park that's on the peninsula of a large piece of rainforest. Its a nice little place, people take there families there. Its got a river that runs off nearby into the sea, and there's picnic tables and barbecues around the place. Its winter, and we arrived there at 4:30pm, so there was no one around. The gates shut at 8:30pm, we noted, as we drove into the park. I thought 'that's fine, mushrooms only last 4 hours, we'll be sweet by then'.
I had mixed the mushrooms with the lemon juice on the car drive there, as i knew the sun would be down at 6pm, and didnt want be waiting around for them to do there thing with the lemon. I had put 40-45 mushrooms in the juice, and we chugged it back along with the mushrooms. We drank it cup by cup, with 5-10 mushrooms in each cup. This took about 10 minutes, and i suggested to my friend that we go on a walk. We were both holding our last cup of mushrooms, just the last few in each cup. As we hop out of the car i notice that i am already starting to feel 'funny', definitely not sober. As we get to the river i say 'i dont think we should drink/eat this last cup of mushy's man'. He asks why and i reply that 'i think we're in for a pretty intense trip, i can just feel it, i aint eating this last cup'.
We get back to the car, and pour the juice with mushys back into the bottle. I hide it behind the drivers seat so we dont accidentally eat them while we are tripping. We sit in the car just talking about stuff. We have tripped together before, and we often end up dwelling on life and death.
Life. Death. These 2 subjects often are a large part of my trips. Especially on mushrooms. I always want a more intense trip because my visuals never are what i want them to be. My first trip on mushrooms had palm tree's re-spawning over and over, people with 10 eyes on there face, there bodies appearing all x-ray, constantly dying then coming back to baby-like skin. As if they are constantly being reborn. I wanted these visuals, i wanted intense visuals that made me not know what world i was in. I never realised till this trip though, that i was having insane visuals, i just wasn't looking at it in the right way.
As the trip starts coming on, trees outside the car are definitely doing funky things. 'Breathing' and dancing, it all looked pretty cool. We started discussing how everything in life, has a life. Whether it be a cigarette, or a car, or a tree. Everything on this planet, in this universe, has a life. There is a life force, forcing everything to die, and with its death, more life is born. Whether its a star, or a tree, something dying, means something is being born.
Some things lives are really short, like a a match. Its birth is being struck against the matchbox, its life's purpose is to create fire, and then to light, and start another life, a cigarettes for example. Its life's purpose cannot change. The match will never aspire to be the 'king match', the leader of all matches. It doesn't dream of being anything more than a match, that's its life. Its accepted it, it doesn't have any other option. Its not a sad thing to see its life start and end so quickly, it simply is something that happens, that must happen. If it is never lit it wont ever live, it doesn't have a purpose, its just waste. Wasted life.
As we begun to ponder on this subject, the mushrooms really kicked in. The only words i could say, that we could both say was 'What the fuck', 'Duuuuude', and 'ahhhhh... duuuuuude'. My body felt like it was no longer a body. I felt like i was just part of the universe. Nothing more than another rock on the beach, a pebble in the river, a blade of grass. I was no more significant than the next object. No longer was i on earth, i was gone. My mind had collapsed. We kept turning to each other and talking about how we have lost our minds. I pondered on whether i really ever had a mind. What is a mind anyway? Do i mind that Ive lost my mind? Where has it gone? Where was it? Questions without answers, kept hitting me.
I never 'got it', from my previous trips. I never had that moment where i was like 'yes, Ive finally realised'. This trip was different. By far it was my most intense. At one point, during what felt like infinity of time, it clicked. I understand all truth. The truth was, my life, everything's life, is ending. I felt so connected to this universe, nothing can describe it really. The idea to kill myself came to mind. After all, what is life? I was convinced i would still exist even if my life ended, i would still be thinking, in one way or another. Obviously not as a human, but i felt as though my mind would float around, maybe find a tree to chill out in, i dont know really. All i knew was that i was content to die. I wasn't necessarily having a bad trip, i wasn't depressed or unhappy, if anything i was extremely happy. I was so happy i felt as though there was nothing more to experience. I had done it all, i had become god. I was the universe. No higher status, no bigger state of consciousness could exist. My brain, my life's experience had peaked - it would all be down hill from here is what i truly felt.
The feeling of realizing the truth, the meaning of life, its not something to take lightly. I dont feel like i could ever have a bad trip, because i like the truth, even when it hurts. The people who have bad trips are the ones who are ignorant, close minded, cannot handle the truth. The kind of person who after telling them you've got information but you dont think they can handle it, will insist you tell them, but when you do, they will hate you for it. You can never go back, once you've read a book you cannot simply unread it. You cant just forget it, not when you've realised all truth and the meaning of life, not just yours but the universes.
Its sort of like when you take mushrooms, you realise truths. You notice patterns in everything, whether its the carpet, society, culture, religion, a picture, anything. You can see the pattern, you can see the beginning and end of something, which you never even realised had a beginning and end in the first place. You could get this from just 1 mushroom, if your mind allowed it. My mind almost always realised this truth, i just never had anything to confirm it. Its like believing you've got a disease but not actually knowing, till you get the blood test and confirm it. Its only from there where you can begin to change your life, get treatment or eat healthier - whatever is necessary.
For some people there mind is easier to unlock. My mind isnt. It hasn't been, atleast. It took a large amount of mushrooms, approximately 10-12g dried. But i got there. It was insane, it was intense, it was fucked. It was more than anything Ive experienced in my life combined. No force is greater than actually unlocking your mind, even if just for a few hours. It felt like weeks or months, i didnt know how long i had been in that car. 'The laws of physics always will be the truth' i was trying to tell myself, but it really isnt. The laws of physics are only there if you believe it. The same goes for every aspect of your life. Its what you make of it, its what you believe. You are experiencing a trip through your eyes every day when you wake up, you dont need mushrooms to realise this. But each day, you can only experience a little bit, its a drop in the bucket, and even with a lifetime of 100 years, that bucket may never be filled. You may never realise the true meaning of life. With mushrooms, its as if that drop has turned into a waterfall. More life experience is witnessed in just 4 hours than an eternity of sobriety.
After becoming god, being the universe, i turned to my friend and said we should smoke some weed. He wasn't really keen, but i rolled a joint anyway. It was hard, everything was hard. Looking at any object was the most intense, thought provoking thing. I slowly rolled the joint and, even though we were coming down, i was still having intense CEV and OEV. It was about 8pm, maybe a bit later, the gates were about to be locked. I didnt care, i rolled up the joint anyway and we smoked it away. The smoke was beautiful. Everything was really, but smoke especially. The way it dances in the air, dancing with the wind, in a beautiful tune and method. Smoking this joint wasn't really a great idea. It turned the trip from slowing down to being full on again. We were both tripping extremely hard, and most of the time we sat in silence. We were too fucked to talk.
It was nearing 8:30pm and i kept insisting to my friend we must get out of here. It was his car and im not a great driver to begin with, so it was up to him ultimately. I just really didnt want to be locked in. After 10 minutes of thinking about it, the car finally is started. We cannot even see properly, he asks if there's anything behind the car, as we had parked up right up to a fence/barrier at the front and had to reverse a bit out. I lean out the door and the darkness was simply a thousand eyes looking at me. I told him 'yup, all clear'. I didnt know if it was clear or not though, as far as i was concerned, there was nothing behind us, literally we were about to drive into a wormhole for all i knew. We drove backwards enough to start driving forwards, and that was a mission. I highly recommend against driving on mushrooms, it is not safe at all. We drove very slowly and there was no other people or cars around thankfully, and we got out onto the road and parked at a carpark at the beach. My friend crashed out as he had only had a few hours sleep that day, so i was just by myself sitting there, thinking over and over again - i understand. I truly understand. I get it, ive figured it out, i now realise what the universe is.
The trip quickly dissipated and we both sat there eating m&m's talking about how messed up that trip was. He was at one point about to gouge out his eyeballs because he thought they were too much of a barrier. I was contemplating ending my life. Thankfully for both of us, that didnt happen.
It was a beautiful, scary, dark, bright, messed up trip. Ill admit, i dont want to do mushrooms for a while, if ever again. Not because i look back on this as a bad experience, but because i feel complete. There's nothing higher to obtain, there's no higher mountain to climb. Maybe in the future, when i forget how good it was, but for now - I'm at peace.
That sentence right there could not ring truer to this following story. I cannot believe what i have experienced. Using the English language is such a barrier, it was that intense.
It started on a Saturday morning. I was picking up some magic mushrooms from a friend. They were dried, and were 'his stronger ones' after having a relatively mild trip from the last batch. I never can have a really intense trip because its always up to me to find the mushrooms, and i can never find enough, so holding a bag of more than enough shrooms made me, feel really weird. I knew i was going to be getting myself into some intense stuff, but i didnt know how intense. I had done mushrooms 5 or so times prior, with my first time being devastatingly amazing, visually, but mentally i felt sober.
So, me and my friend had picked up the mushrooms. We had proximity 60 or so, some big some small, varying types native to New Zealand. The friend i picked them up from had suggested i try the 'lemon' method, which involves soaking the mushrooms in lemon juice till they go a little mushy, then mixing some orange/fruit juice with the lemon juice, and drinking the juice plus the chunky, vomit consistency mushrooms.
We had decided to park up the car in a park that's on the peninsula of a large piece of rainforest. Its a nice little place, people take there families there. Its got a river that runs off nearby into the sea, and there's picnic tables and barbecues around the place. Its winter, and we arrived there at 4:30pm, so there was no one around. The gates shut at 8:30pm, we noted, as we drove into the park. I thought 'that's fine, mushrooms only last 4 hours, we'll be sweet by then'.
I had mixed the mushrooms with the lemon juice on the car drive there, as i knew the sun would be down at 6pm, and didnt want be waiting around for them to do there thing with the lemon. I had put 40-45 mushrooms in the juice, and we chugged it back along with the mushrooms. We drank it cup by cup, with 5-10 mushrooms in each cup. This took about 10 minutes, and i suggested to my friend that we go on a walk. We were both holding our last cup of mushrooms, just the last few in each cup. As we hop out of the car i notice that i am already starting to feel 'funny', definitely not sober. As we get to the river i say 'i dont think we should drink/eat this last cup of mushy's man'. He asks why and i reply that 'i think we're in for a pretty intense trip, i can just feel it, i aint eating this last cup'.
We get back to the car, and pour the juice with mushys back into the bottle. I hide it behind the drivers seat so we dont accidentally eat them while we are tripping. We sit in the car just talking about stuff. We have tripped together before, and we often end up dwelling on life and death.
Life. Death. These 2 subjects often are a large part of my trips. Especially on mushrooms. I always want a more intense trip because my visuals never are what i want them to be. My first trip on mushrooms had palm tree's re-spawning over and over, people with 10 eyes on there face, there bodies appearing all x-ray, constantly dying then coming back to baby-like skin. As if they are constantly being reborn. I wanted these visuals, i wanted intense visuals that made me not know what world i was in. I never realised till this trip though, that i was having insane visuals, i just wasn't looking at it in the right way.
As the trip starts coming on, trees outside the car are definitely doing funky things. 'Breathing' and dancing, it all looked pretty cool. We started discussing how everything in life, has a life. Whether it be a cigarette, or a car, or a tree. Everything on this planet, in this universe, has a life. There is a life force, forcing everything to die, and with its death, more life is born. Whether its a star, or a tree, something dying, means something is being born.
Some things lives are really short, like a a match. Its birth is being struck against the matchbox, its life's purpose is to create fire, and then to light, and start another life, a cigarettes for example. Its life's purpose cannot change. The match will never aspire to be the 'king match', the leader of all matches. It doesn't dream of being anything more than a match, that's its life. Its accepted it, it doesn't have any other option. Its not a sad thing to see its life start and end so quickly, it simply is something that happens, that must happen. If it is never lit it wont ever live, it doesn't have a purpose, its just waste. Wasted life.
As we begun to ponder on this subject, the mushrooms really kicked in. The only words i could say, that we could both say was 'What the fuck', 'Duuuuude', and 'ahhhhh... duuuuuude'. My body felt like it was no longer a body. I felt like i was just part of the universe. Nothing more than another rock on the beach, a pebble in the river, a blade of grass. I was no more significant than the next object. No longer was i on earth, i was gone. My mind had collapsed. We kept turning to each other and talking about how we have lost our minds. I pondered on whether i really ever had a mind. What is a mind anyway? Do i mind that Ive lost my mind? Where has it gone? Where was it? Questions without answers, kept hitting me.
I never 'got it', from my previous trips. I never had that moment where i was like 'yes, Ive finally realised'. This trip was different. By far it was my most intense. At one point, during what felt like infinity of time, it clicked. I understand all truth. The truth was, my life, everything's life, is ending. I felt so connected to this universe, nothing can describe it really. The idea to kill myself came to mind. After all, what is life? I was convinced i would still exist even if my life ended, i would still be thinking, in one way or another. Obviously not as a human, but i felt as though my mind would float around, maybe find a tree to chill out in, i dont know really. All i knew was that i was content to die. I wasn't necessarily having a bad trip, i wasn't depressed or unhappy, if anything i was extremely happy. I was so happy i felt as though there was nothing more to experience. I had done it all, i had become god. I was the universe. No higher status, no bigger state of consciousness could exist. My brain, my life's experience had peaked - it would all be down hill from here is what i truly felt.
The feeling of realizing the truth, the meaning of life, its not something to take lightly. I dont feel like i could ever have a bad trip, because i like the truth, even when it hurts. The people who have bad trips are the ones who are ignorant, close minded, cannot handle the truth. The kind of person who after telling them you've got information but you dont think they can handle it, will insist you tell them, but when you do, they will hate you for it. You can never go back, once you've read a book you cannot simply unread it. You cant just forget it, not when you've realised all truth and the meaning of life, not just yours but the universes.
Its sort of like when you take mushrooms, you realise truths. You notice patterns in everything, whether its the carpet, society, culture, religion, a picture, anything. You can see the pattern, you can see the beginning and end of something, which you never even realised had a beginning and end in the first place. You could get this from just 1 mushroom, if your mind allowed it. My mind almost always realised this truth, i just never had anything to confirm it. Its like believing you've got a disease but not actually knowing, till you get the blood test and confirm it. Its only from there where you can begin to change your life, get treatment or eat healthier - whatever is necessary.
For some people there mind is easier to unlock. My mind isnt. It hasn't been, atleast. It took a large amount of mushrooms, approximately 10-12g dried. But i got there. It was insane, it was intense, it was fucked. It was more than anything Ive experienced in my life combined. No force is greater than actually unlocking your mind, even if just for a few hours. It felt like weeks or months, i didnt know how long i had been in that car. 'The laws of physics always will be the truth' i was trying to tell myself, but it really isnt. The laws of physics are only there if you believe it. The same goes for every aspect of your life. Its what you make of it, its what you believe. You are experiencing a trip through your eyes every day when you wake up, you dont need mushrooms to realise this. But each day, you can only experience a little bit, its a drop in the bucket, and even with a lifetime of 100 years, that bucket may never be filled. You may never realise the true meaning of life. With mushrooms, its as if that drop has turned into a waterfall. More life experience is witnessed in just 4 hours than an eternity of sobriety.
After becoming god, being the universe, i turned to my friend and said we should smoke some weed. He wasn't really keen, but i rolled a joint anyway. It was hard, everything was hard. Looking at any object was the most intense, thought provoking thing. I slowly rolled the joint and, even though we were coming down, i was still having intense CEV and OEV. It was about 8pm, maybe a bit later, the gates were about to be locked. I didnt care, i rolled up the joint anyway and we smoked it away. The smoke was beautiful. Everything was really, but smoke especially. The way it dances in the air, dancing with the wind, in a beautiful tune and method. Smoking this joint wasn't really a great idea. It turned the trip from slowing down to being full on again. We were both tripping extremely hard, and most of the time we sat in silence. We were too fucked to talk.
It was nearing 8:30pm and i kept insisting to my friend we must get out of here. It was his car and im not a great driver to begin with, so it was up to him ultimately. I just really didnt want to be locked in. After 10 minutes of thinking about it, the car finally is started. We cannot even see properly, he asks if there's anything behind the car, as we had parked up right up to a fence/barrier at the front and had to reverse a bit out. I lean out the door and the darkness was simply a thousand eyes looking at me. I told him 'yup, all clear'. I didnt know if it was clear or not though, as far as i was concerned, there was nothing behind us, literally we were about to drive into a wormhole for all i knew. We drove backwards enough to start driving forwards, and that was a mission. I highly recommend against driving on mushrooms, it is not safe at all. We drove very slowly and there was no other people or cars around thankfully, and we got out onto the road and parked at a carpark at the beach. My friend crashed out as he had only had a few hours sleep that day, so i was just by myself sitting there, thinking over and over again - i understand. I truly understand. I get it, ive figured it out, i now realise what the universe is.
The trip quickly dissipated and we both sat there eating m&m's talking about how messed up that trip was. He was at one point about to gouge out his eyeballs because he thought they were too much of a barrier. I was contemplating ending my life. Thankfully for both of us, that didnt happen.
It was a beautiful, scary, dark, bright, messed up trip. Ill admit, i dont want to do mushrooms for a while, if ever again. Not because i look back on this as a bad experience, but because i feel complete. There's nothing higher to obtain, there's no higher mountain to climb. Maybe in the future, when i forget how good it was, but for now - I'm at peace.
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