+The point about nitrous is legit, had a beautiful 1cP-LSD experience while on like 120mg DXM (don't do at home, kids. Serotonin and stuff) and I'm absolutely prone to anxiety. Wrote psychedelics completely off for a decade after some pretty traumatizing shroom experiences in my teens - not visual tho, experienced 'purified' anxiety and terror of impending doom, until recently I had no visuals whatsoever besides some little morphing for years now very probably (? always thought that but recently s/b around here questioned it- still one of the very first shroom trips had imaginery and then it disappeared, so...) because of long-term SNRI abscription*.
Could you tell me more about what you've seen and in which sense you think it isn't just a product of unconscious fears? I'm seriously interested in 'horror trips', not to spread them, but to analzye and either debunk or (to myself, at some point) prove that this here right now isn't the only thing which should be named reality.
On a recent DXM experience I had the sense to be about to die off a heart attack related to serotonin syndrome (yet again, probably just fears because I am fucking hugely tolerant to serotonin, did accidentally a SNDRA+MAOI and SNRI short afterwards and didn't get the slightest adverse symptoms. In moderation tho, and I consider myself [un..?]lucky to be still alive. But I have some heart condition which isn't diagnosed, docs think it's been the stomach but I'm sure it's not cause ever since I have tachycardia).. a voice told me, they were 'starting the operating system' (related to me as a somewhat computer geek, use often technical terms to imaginate things) when I was closing my eyes and about to drift away, and the opposite when opening them..
Yeah, at the same time I got images of a ceremony or somewhat, whatever it was about a baby which was just about to be given birth and the woman trying or so, and that when I die my soul might be reborn, going through the same shit again and again and again because of the complete amnesia of a new brain.. or that I could manage to escape.. another imaginery later was, that my death might lead to a new parallel universe where I'd be the sole inhabitant (I was and am very lonely person, so related too) or that I'd wake up in an ocean drowning forever etc.. until now, I didn't find anything pointing towards that things might be more than just me and my mind but there's the obvious point left ... why the fuck are I/are we all conscious?? So, yeah I believe that there is more, but nothing specific. Dunno whether this is a good or a bad starting point to explore psychs - at least the fears aren't so good but also psychs are said to be very helpful in this regard.
-- My fear tells me about that point, that the people just face whatever hell they'd await when they'd kill themselves so they finally find the energy to continue into a better life, not because of healing but pure terror, but the logical mind arguments that there's no way nobody wouldn't have reported that even when some entities had warned them off etc..but maybe all ended up in psych wards.. but again, I am extrapolating from what people in NA groups said, we all experience the same and blabla.. somebody dragged me into NA meetings many years ago when I was miles away from any addiction.
* ABuse preSCRIPTION