The psychedelic aspect is more or less the same as when I used to take liberty caps,it's the physical side of things that is very different. I never used to have such side effects from liberty's,they felt much better,hardly any body load at all.
I've read about body load differing in certain types e.g wood lovers tend to produce more,but cubensis is a grassland mushroom the same as liberty caps.
This morning I feel fine,but last night was uncomfortable. I love mushrooms and have done for years,but these cubensis,no.
About 5 months ago I wanted a heroic dose,but was apprehensive so took 4 grams instead of 5. I was impatient when the trip manifested and felt I hadn't taken enough,so took another 4 grams,then it really ramped up into the most powerful mushroom trip I ever had.
I lay on my bed listening to M83. Colours began to swirl in front of my eyes until at one point I was blind to the world around me. I tried to get up off the bed but couldn't see anything except geometric patterns and colour and had to feel my way around to get to the toilet. I experienced ego death and started to loop. Even though I knew you can't die from psilocybe mushrooms I thought I had.
I couldn't feel my body and didn't know if I were breathing. I kept trying to ground myself by feeling my lips and nose. I looked out the window to see if the world was still there and could make out lights coming from houses but my vision was still fucked. I tried walking around but ended up back on my bed. The passage of time seemed endless. I believed I was being punished from a higher force (creator of all the is.)
The creator was angry with me for trying to break on through to the other side,to see realms I'm not supposed to and was giving me a lesson. At this point the body load was severe,feeling like flu symptoms. In my mind I was trying to get back to the illusion of reality,to what I know,but every time I tried I ended up back in the loop.
This went on for what seemed an eternity and I was beginning to think I was in my own hell,that I had really died and this was my punishment for taking the construction of the every day reality for granted,for fucking around with things I shouldn't. As the trip started to wane I became aware that the loop had stopped,that creator was giving me another chance and boy was I grateful.
That was the most powerful mushroom trip I ever had. I just wished it was enjoyable. I wanted to see things that others have,like entites or spirit guides. I wanted to experience the glory of all that is and become one with it. Instead it was a journey into my own hell.
The psychedelic aspect is more or less the same as when I used to take liberty caps,it's the physical side of things that is very different. I never used to have such side effects from liberty's,they felt much better,hardly any body load at all.
I've read about body load differing in certain types e.g wood lovers tend to produce more,but cubensis is a grassland mushroom the same as liberty caps.
This morning I feel fine,but last night was uncomfortable. I love mushrooms and have done for years,but these cubensis,no.
About 5 months ago I wanted a heroic dose,but was apprehensive so took 4 grams instead of 5. I was impatient when the trip manifested and felt I hadn't taken enough,so took another 4 grams,then it really ramped up into the most powerful mushroom trip I ever had.
I lay on my bed listening to M83. Colours began to swirl in front of my eyes until at one point I was blind to the world around me. I tried to get up off the bed but couldn't see anything except geometric patterns and colour and had to feel my way around to get to the toilet. I experienced ego death and started to loop. Even though I knew you can't die from psilocybe mushrooms I thought I had.
I couldn't feel my body and didn't know if I were breathing. I kept trying to ground myself by feeling my lips and nose. I looked out the window to see if the world was still there and could make out lights coming from houses but my vision was still fucked. I tried walking around but ended up back on my bed. The passage of time seemed endless. I believed I was being punished from a higher force (creator of all the is.)
The creator was angry with me for trying to break on through to the other side,to see realms I'm not supposed to and was giving me a lesson. At this point the body load was severe,feeling like flu symptoms. In my mind I was trying to get back to the illusion of reality,to what I know,but every time I tried I ended up back in the loop.
This went on for what seemed an eternity and I was beginning to think I was in my own hell,that I had really died and this was my punishment for taking the construction of the every day reality for granted,for fucking around with things I shouldn't. As the trip started to wane I became aware that the loop had stopped,that creator was giving me another chance and boy was I grateful.
That was the most powerful mushroom trip I ever had. I just wished it was enjoyable. I wanted to see things that others have,like entites or spirit guides. I wanted to experience the glory of all that is and become one with it. Instead it was a journey into my own hell.
The psychedelic aspect is more or less the same as when I used to take liberty caps,it's the physical side of things that is very different. I never used to have such side effects from liberty's,they felt much better,hardly any body load at all.
I've read about body load differing in certain types e.g wood lovers tend to produce more,but cubensis is a grassland mushroom the same as liberty caps.
This morning I feel fine,but last night was uncomfortable. I love mushrooms and have done for years,but these cubensis,no.
About 5 months ago I wanted a heroic dose,but was apprehensive so took 4 grams instead of 5. I was impatient when the trip manifested and felt I hadn't taken enough,so took another 4 grams,then it really ramped up into the most powerful mushroom trip I ever had.
I lay on my bed listening to M83. Colours began to swirl in front of my eyes until at one point I was blind to the world around me. I tried to get up off the bed but couldn't see anything except geometric patterns and colour and had to feel my way around to get to the toilet. I experienced ego death and started to loop. Even though I knew you can't die from psilocybe mushrooms I thought I had.
I couldn't feel my body and didn't know if I were breathing. I kept trying to ground myself by feeling my lips and nose. I looked out the window to see if the world was still there and could make out lights coming from houses but my vision was still fucked. I tried walking around but ended up back on my bed. The passage of time seemed endless. I believed I was being punished from a higher force (creator of all the is.)
The creator was angry with me for trying to break on through to the other side,to see realms I'm not supposed to and was giving me a lesson. At this point the body load was severe,feeling like flu symptoms. In my mind I was trying to get back to the illusion of reality,to what I know,but every time I tried I ended up back in the loop.
This went on for what seemed an eternity and I was beginning to think I was in my own hell,that I had really died and this was my punishment for taking the construction of the every day reality for granted,for fucking around with things I shouldn't. As the trip started to wane I became aware that the loop had stopped,that creator was giving me another chance and boy was I grateful.
That was the most powerful mushroom trip I ever had. I just wished it was enjoyable. I wanted to see things that others have,like entites or spirit guides. I wanted to experience the glory of all that is and become one with it. Instead it was a journey into my own hell.
Yazzah, man can I relate to “the loop” and having violated some kind of domain boundary.
Thanks for writing all that stuff Phoenix Rising.
Maybe, us here mere mortals are only SUPPOSED to see just so much.
We get slapped-back for not having incrementally endured the requisite disciplined devotion in a spiritual pursuit?
Psychedelics, entheogens, or whatever you want to call them, definitely unravel some mysteries FAST.
The short-circuiting, and rocket fuel to the edge of an unsustainable orbit, may just be of its own restrictions.
The “one-step-at-a-time” multi life discipline, may just be the working pathway to Divinity.
But, the dazzling show on the short circuit ride, sure is sumpthin’ AIN’T IT?!!!
Yeah, it gets terrifying in the complexities of those realms.
Well beyond my ability to understand.
So: Submission to the “Big Is”, with a whole hearted commitment, is the quandary, or the permanent solution.
I freaked at the challenge, the moment at the door, the eternal question.
My “mind” fought back.
Or, my courage melted in the blinding light.
Haunting stuff, “out there”... along with the same question: “Is it all really just ‘in here’” ?
The edge of psychosis is a place that I have severe respect for.
Why the same themes, and iconography emerge in that exaggerated state, are an ongoing question.
It may all be an illusion, but the same message appears to be always true.
( Just because it’s an illusion, doesn’t mean that it’s not the Truth. )
We just don’t know.
Thanks for reminding me of some stuff, and for being so frank.
Sincerely,
Bryan
