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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Mother in urgent need of help: my son is a heroin addict

wow your couragous for not abondoing you son. my dad won't talk to me just because i take xanax for social anxiety..pretty retarted reason. i wonder how he would react if he knw i had hep c, and used herion before.
 
Prayers for your family, I am an addict son, and I wish I didn't have to put my folks though this shit. My family is close to giving up on me.. for me that hurts more than being an addict. Ask him if he is willing to go to rehab, and if he is send him. I'd go if I could afford it, at this point though my folks won't pay so I'm stuck. I'm sorry you are in this position, I wish you the best.
 
Mantis, have you ever tried NA? You're not stuck-it's fucking hard but you might give it a shot-it's free and you don't have to stop, you just have to want to stop.
 
I am sorry to hear about you son. It sounds like he loves you enough not to bring his sickness home.
On the other hand he loves his drugs and what they bring him. It sounds like he might like his lifestyle. You being a person who is not an addict (at least I dont think you have been or are one) you don't know how the drug really takes ahold of your life. Being off the high is crippling to some of us. It is hard for you to comprehend.
You might be able to compromise with him. Get him into one of the new Suboxone programs where he gets to take a drug that makes him feel fine but he wont have to steal to afford it. There's always Rapid detox too.
Either way he will have to hit up some N.A. meetings or see a therapist to make it work. That might be one of the reasons he doesn't want to quit. He might not want the spotlight on him.
With some luck you might be able to take something from our answers and put together something that will work for you and him.
Good luck with getting your son back, but be prepared for the worst.
 
in some states including Cali, if a known prostitute has HIV, and is arrested for solicitation, there is the chance of an Attempted Murder charge.

i havent wanted to mention it to you, but you might want to mention it to him. that might really scare him straight.
 
Have you tried Alanon or Naranon? What he does is beyond your control. It may be time for healthy detachment. If you have a lot of money to invest in him, you could possibly try a geographic cure. Heroin is available in just about all of the US, but it's difficult to get in some places.

I was a daily user of opiates from 20-25. I got straight by finding something I didn't want to lose. That something is there. It's about him recognizing it and realizing that addiction and all the things that come with it don't have to be a death sentence.

I offer you so much love. Coming from someone who put their parents through hell.
 
Wow, Ketamike. You are an amazing guy-I just checked out your homepage. I love the pictures, and the quote.
 
I think it is all really good advice here. I dont think you should cut off communication, but you shouldnt give him any money or get him an apartment or anything. obviously he loves you and getting cut off his family could cause him to use more.

if you have an intervention you dont have to stop talking to him as your bottom line. you could call the cops and try to get him arrested if he doesnt go but dont stop talking to him, i cant imagine if my family stopped talking to me.
 
If he left home and wants to live on the streets let him be. He loves you enough not to steel from you and has told you so. It sounds like the only way to get him clean is to kidnap him and hold him against his will.
Just dont let him go to a Cali or Washington prison system. It will be a party to him.
Good luck on getting your son back. It sucks to watch a loved one fuck up so bad.
 
i deffinity think that he should get some help you can help him get that. If you find a decent program it might work. try to get him on an opite blocker like suboxone or naltrexone. but do not get methadone into the picture that is a serious drug and is not a good one for people to get of oppites with. once your on that your on it for life. now the choice is up to him if he doessnt want to stop he wont stop but if he does and will become commited to it i think theres a chance for him. some people just never make it back i know thats a terrible thing to say and feel but it is true.
 
it's a very painfull theme, believe me i know i've benn on the streets already and it ain't beautifull out there. i think it's time for u to take an action before it's too late! going to the police is the best thing u can do for your soon right now. true love some times shows it's face by hardways. u have my full suport!
Pm me if u need to chat.
love!
 
Send him up to Fairbanks. The clod air and clean streets wil change his life.
 
Have you or your son looked into getting him on Suboxone? Its a wonderful drug, and the best one out there, to deal with opiate addiction, and its way safer and less addictive then methadone. You should try and get him on suboxone and it will turn his life around and will make him feel like he felt b4 he ever even touched Heroin. Suboxone won't give you a high but just keep you 'normal' and then u slowly taper off it until you are down to a low dose and then you jump off..
 
My son has been to jail twice but it wasn't for long and it was spent in the county jail. We have told him before that if he gets arrested for prostitution he could be charged with attempted murder because he has HIV but he denies he has HIV and tells us he doesnt sell himself for money anymore, but its hard to believe him after the years and years of lying. My son has been on methadone and suboxone before. Last time he was on methadone he started shooting up cocaine and started using heroin again and failed a drug test and got kicked out from the clinic. With the suboxone, he was doing good but when he got down to 4 mg. a day, he relapsed on heroin. He says he is thinking of going back on methadone but I don't know when he will decide to finally go the clinic if he ever does. He says he will not go back to rehab because he says he can't have his family spend more money on rehab as he has been to rehab a few times in the past and it not working. I could call the cops but even if he does get arrested he wont spend much time in jail. Los Angeles county jail is so overcrowded and people picked up on possession charges and minor non violent crimes get out fairly quickly.
 
screw what other people say about methadone. your son seems like a chronic relapser, rehab has not worked, jail has not worked, suboxone has not worked.

he may have to be on methadone for life but what is the alternative. Spending every second chasing dope, being homeless, getting or giving other people diseases.

Methadone it a potent opiate. For me i don't know how other people dope match up but it was on par with herion without the rush. He can get his cake and eat it too without having to prositute himself and shoot himself up every 4 hours because it a very long lasting opiate. Plus once he is on a high enough dose of methadone the herion wont take effect anymore. Also, withdrawal is scray so he will be reluctant to quit it. He only has to dose once a day, and be over with it. No more running the street pulling tricks, and using needles. And best of all he wont be getting illegally a doctor will dose him.

Maybe i am going a little far I have not read this all but every theard i read people diss methadone and praise suboxone. Sub is wonder for getting off, but I don't think it better for maintance. With sub you can just wait a couple days get off and go back on dope, then just jump back on sub to avoid withdawal.

Opiates are the hardest thing to kick and sometimes drastic measurment needed to be taken. If he has to be a methadone lifer is that really that bad. Is it really better than running the streets or playing the system with suboxone.

I believe sub is for people who abused weaker opaites, or just flitered with herion and never became as deep as your son. I never seen someone say hey i been clean for suboxone for 5 years alone after having a serious smack habit. But there are tons of old times in the clinic i visited brielly that have been clean for 20+ years, and now only have to come once in a while and are able to hold down jobs and seem to be productive members of society.

i could be given awful advice, i don;t think majority of people agree with any thing i say here.
 
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^^^ YOUR POST HAS SOME GOOD IDEAS IT COULD BE USED AS AN OUTLINE TO HELP. I thik any idea is a good idea for such a hardship case. You do have some valid points that others dont want to listen to because everyone seems "to have the best plan".
Sorry about all caps. My comp is F..ed up.
SIMIVALLEY13 please keep us informed on any progress made. Have you had any contact with him lately? Have you been able to at least talk to him. Good luck. Some of us do care about how others are doing in the day to day struggle
 
He is having really hard time to recover in the streets. If you can , you could try to make a some secure place for him where he wouldn't need to have to think about surviving alive and still keeping his habit going on.

Rent a cabin from Alaska (or anywhere where it is cold , and a real winter) , go there with him, and take somebody strong enough to hold him if he gets desperate. This is only to get over the Withdrawals. If detox doesn't help, maybe moving to a different place could help. It gives some perspective. He is LOST.

It seems that it is too easy to live in the warm streets of LA. In colder climate it is super hard to survive alive...
I have once dropped in the streets in the winter and it was matter of hours until I would have been dead from hypothermia if I hadn't been got into ER by ambulance.

God , no heroin warms enough in -30 degrees celcius weather!

If it would be colder in there, and he was still homeless without shelter, his fingers and arms would be so cold that he can't shoot no more. That happened to me with speed the other day. I was freezing inside and out. But somebody with better hand dexterity can of course help.
 
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nobody can force him to be sober. forcing someone into treatment is a big waste of your money, in my opinion. you should never cut anyone out of your life, just be firm with him and set boundary's ... don't let him live in your house while he's using... don't give him any money when he's using... just don't help him support his habit, you know? he has to learn that he doesn't want to use himself. i'm sure its pretty obvious to you that nobody but him is going to stop him from using dope. for me it took an internal change, and i went on suboxone. i recommend suboxone, its a miracle drug & its been a huge part in saving my life. when I was using, my mom went through a phase of intervention & "tough love" where she would cut me out of her life completely when I was using, and threaten me that she would stop seeing me... & it really just made things worst. i should also mention that for me, rehab really didn't help at all, & 12 step programs aren't the only way to get sober. (most parents of addicts seem to thump the big book and think it's the only answer, because that's what rehab facilities will tell you, i know my parents did)
 
I fail to see how completely ostracizing your own flesh and blood is going to HELP them
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Well some people only respond to extreme measures.

Saved my life. my parents used to bail me out of all sorts of jams. Well one day they stopped.

I ended up in jail for a year then homeless. That was what it took for me to say 'I don't want to live this way'. Shortly after that I went into treatment (for the third time...this time a 3 month program), relapsed a couple of times afterwards then I was ready to listen to someone else.

I used a 12 step program along with major lifestyle changes. I changed all persons,places and things. Went back to school after a while ...so it can work. Lasted about 12 years.


And yes, there is a fair amount of drugs in jail. Where I was at first there was touch visits so the place was loaded. I got sent to a higher security (suspicion of contraband:\ ) and the atmosphere in there was like a pressure cooker. Hardly any dope. That place was a bit scary actually. Made me not want to go back. This took place in Canada and i doubt the situation is any better there.


I really admire you for trying everything you can think off. This is where you will find out about the lifestyle and the truth..which isn't always pretty.

I'm a father now too struggling with addiction before my child really catches on to what's happening. If she has to go through this I don't think I could handle it. You are living my nightmare in a sense. I sincerely wish you all the best.
 
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