Opioids Morphine Withdrawal Question

[casualdruguser]

I have been injecting morphine on a daily basis for about 3 to 4 months now. I inject twice daily, 30mg each time so im on 60mg daily of IV morphine (i never turn it into heroin). I do not chase the dragon and i accept that i do not get as high as i used to. The reason for this is because i have enough sense not to go overboard and end up on a 200+mg a day habit. So i just enjoy the light buzz and enhanced mood without the need to get really high.

I am a normal healthy 30 year old guy from a good home with a good upbringing and good friends, i do not suffer from depression nor do i have any physical health problems. I'm not on any medication nor do i have a history of addiction or drug abuse but I smoke weed and get drunk once per weekend and have done for a long time now (a weekend warrior - i work all week and enjoy drugs and alcohol on the weekends, with the exception of weed which is a daily thing). This is how my morphine addiction started - as a weekend only thing, but given the fact that it doesn't cause me any issues at work (if anything i get more done after a shot) its slowly progressed into daily use but i have been on 60mg for a while now and i do not see that changing. I partake in drugs and alcohol not to escape from any problems but mainly because im bored. I have read testimonials from addicts who say things like 'when im high everything is perfect and all my problems disappear' - i do not relate to that because i dont have any problems (except of the first world variety). I do however have undiagnosed social anxiety and so i tend not to leave the house all that often. Despite this i am happy enough with life.

Anyway, my friends/family don't know about my habit but I have become a bit anxious about what's going to happen to me when i stop. I have read horror stories and frankly it scares me. I have a good job and i really can't afford to be out of commission for weeks while i undergo withdrawal. I understand that withdrawal symptoms are highly individual specific, but i would appreciate any feedback as what i should expect in terms of withdrawal symptom severity and length based on the experience of you guys and the description of my situation.

 

[cjh1221]

....nor do i have a history of addiction or drug abuse but I smoke weed and get drunk once per weekend and have done for a long time now (a weekend warrior - i work all week and enjoy drugs and alcohol on the weekends, with the exception of weed which is a daily thing).

AND....

I partake in drugs and alcohol not to escape from any problems but mainly because im bored.

Contradictory statements. You do have a history of addiction and drug abuse. The statements above are the epitome of addiction and drug abuse. Now, to answer your question.

Everyone wants to think they are unique or different but in reality, you are addicted to abusing Morphine and will pay for that the same way we all do. Withdrawal, just like addiction, is different for everyone, to an extent. Some suffer from one symptom more than another, or can handle certain symptoms better than someone else can, but the basic suffering is the same in the end.

Your nose will run, you will sneeze and feel phlegmy. Your bowels will knot up and you will shit until you can't shit anymore, then you'll shit more. You will feel like throwing up, and possibly do so. Your legs will kick, your arms will thrash, and you'll feel like someone is tazing you, causing your back and leg muscles to spasm and cramp. You'll feel more anxiety than you ever have in your life and pray for relief. When relief doesn't come, you'll bargain with God. You will torture yourself mentally with the thought of making it all go away with one little pill. You'll find reasons to get high. Excuses will be on your mind constantly and you will get no relief because you cannot sleep. 24 hours a day, non-stop agony. You will shiver, shake, freeze, and sweat. You'll cry, laugh like a maniac, and beg for mercy. It will creep up on you slowly, then bury you in misery, then fade away after 3 or 4 days, leaving a sad, depressed, nervous shell behind. If you make it through without using.

Your body will begin to heal but your mind will always be scarred. You'll think about it every day. You will long for the relief, the relaxation, the ease of kicking back with a buzz and forgetting the world. The emotional fog and depression will fade in a few months to a year but the snake will lurk a step behind you, waiting to envenomate you the first time you slip and let it catch up.
It gets easier with time but all it takes is one hiccup. A fight with the wife, getting fired, the death of a loved one, and your back to square one before you know it. It's your safety net and will always be. Your escape from the real world.

I don't say all of this to scare you. I say it to help you realize that it isn't something to jump into lightly. Failing at detox is harmful too. Knowing that you failed, that you weren't strong enough, is a big reason myself and a lot of addicts I know are still addicts. Because we failed and we don't feel like we are strong enough to get through it. I sincerely hope you do get clean, I just want to make sure you are fully prepared for what's going to happen before it takes you by surprise and ruins your chances, now or in the future. If you know fully what to expect, you can go into it more prepared and have a much better chance at success.

Arm yourself. Eat healthy and get lots of sleep. Exercise and spend time in the sun. Buy vitamins and suppliments and take them. Make sure you have a good supply of Loperamide. It helps with a lot of the symptoms. Taking around 20 mgs. when symptoms get overwhelming will calm your body and mind down some. Don't take it long and taper off as soon as you can. Talk to your Dr. if possible. Clonidine is a life-saver. It helps with some symptoms and is a very commonly used drug for withdrawals. You can also try some Benzos for anxiety/sleep. They work for some. Just remember, they are addicting as well and the withdrawals from them are even worse and more dangerous than opiates, so take as little as possible for as short a time as possible.

It is doubtful that you will be able to get through a day's work for at least days 2 and 3 but it's possible, especially with the help of Lope/Clonidine/benzos. I would try to aim for at least a weekend for those days, or take a few day off at minimum. Be easy on yourself and don't push too hard. It isn't going to do you any good to make things harder for yourself. Entertainment and distraction are very helpful as well, but don't go overboard. Movies, video games, music, healthy food. Forcing yourself to get up, go outside, even exercise, is more helpful than it sounds. Eat well, even if you don't want to. Toast, fruit, whatever you can handle. The better your nutrition, the better you'll feel. You won't want to, but you'll be glad you did.

The best thing to remember is to try and stay strong emotionally during this. The biggest problems for addicts during withdrawals are mental. Not just the anxiety and soul-crushing depression, but their ability to cope with the symptoms themselves. Think about why you are doing it and remind yourself that it's temporary and you will feel much better soon. It really helps to have emotional support but if that's not possible, many of the symptoms are similar to a flu/stomach bug so you could at least have someone by your side to keep you company without them being any wiser. Confiding in someone might just be better for you in the long-run.

If you need someone to talk to or just vent to, or to answer any questions, feel free to PM me. I've traveled the road many times and can at least provide you with advice...it's nice to have someone to listen that understands. All the best!