hm. *pauses to think of where to begin*. i'm sure it doesn't matter where i start off. not anymore, anyways. i'll jump right into it here.... i'll write exactly word for word of what i wrote in my scrapbook..things in [] are my thoughts on it and stuff..hmm..i can remember bits and peices of last night. but bare with me...it's hard to try and reflect on something when you're not too sure what even happened in the first place...
Friday, May 23d, 2003
-130 morning glory seeds
-orally taken with water.
-setting: in my room.
10:28PM
Ugh. It took me about 15mins just to injest these stupid little seeds. I took one, and it didn't taste, so the I put in like 5 in my mouth and it tasted like dirt, and it was so sick. So i got a glass of water and just swallowed them 10-15 at a time. I probably should have chopped them up or something. Oh well. If it doesn't work, then I know what I did wrong. There's just NO way I can chew those things. Bits are already stuck in my teeth. Eww. This pink pen is just too cool. [pretty self explanitory...i was writing with a pink pen, lol]
11:25
Just took 38 more. Tried to chew them again but that didn't work. They don't seem to be working. Well, kinda. My lips are kind of numb and my fingers are kind of tingling, but nothing big. Eh, let's go watch some T.V...[went and watched trading spaces and some other shit on tv..]
12:09
This was such a stupid idea. [nothing was happening...i had read like 5 chapters in my book and i was getting impatient, lol.]
12:33
Honey, I neeeeed your...
Nananananananananana
Bright Green? [can't reall remember what all this was about...my wall was lime green..and glowing]
12:48
DXM --> UGH.
i still don't feel to too bad.
12:56
The Dimetapp bottle is empty. At the end I noticed it said the amount of DXM is 20mg. Errrr...that taste is giving me chills. Its sooo cross! eeeww [i spelt it cross instead of gross...it really was, though..]
The clock says "lOS" What's that suposed to mean?What did i lose? my throat is burning it's hurt me. [i think the clock said 1:05...i'm a retard. lol]
well, no puking whatsoever. i don't know why people say that...maybe i just have a *tough* tummy...or maybe the other chemicals in the Dimetapp soothed it or whatever. after i took the dxm, everything about me went numb. i can't even remember taking the whole rest of the bottle. i do, but it didn't seem like i was actually doing it at the time. it's only now that i really know that...hey. i took the whole bottle of it. after the numbness then came this really tingly feeling. worse than last time. so tingly that it felt like pin pricks. it kind of hurt...then i climbed into bed,and things got even more tingly. i started drifting into a world that was full with such sensory intensity, that i didn't realize what was going on. my walls started glowing. like, really vibrantly. flashing it seemed at times. i had never seen my room through such a beautiful dimension before...but the light started to hurt my eyes a lot, so i turned my lamp off. everything seemed to still be glowing, even though it was now dark. my stomach started turning a little bit, but then i started seeing colors. and lots of them. i closed my eyes, and there were all these different things. nothing i could make out, but just all...bright and lively, and all these different shaped were moving. really really fast. my radio was on, and i completely tuned it out. it seemed like i was listening to it from 2rooms away. it sounded very far away. very very slow...yet other times, it would be the total opposite and be too fast. the euphoria from it was really strong and overwhelming, to a certain extent. i opened my eyes, and i saw streaks of light...almost like mini fireworks, but they were all in a line. going across. my nightlight had suddenly turned from turquoise to purple...then everything started getting smaller. and more of them. i finally just closed my eyes again, and i surprisingly saw some pretty good closed-eye visuals. they were kind of cool. but way too fast for me to make out anything. just a big huge mass of strewn colors, going every which way, every shape, every size...but after a little bit, it seemed like iwas going through a tunnel, ...into blackness, and all the pretty colors slowly disapeared. i wondered where i was. i suddenly heard voices off in the distance...as i got closer, i could hear it was my mom. she was screaming. she was mad. she was talking about me. i can't remember what she was saying, but it was about me. the voices just kept on getting louder, until they were all around me, and echoing now. i hated that part. hated it all too much. i turned over in my bed, and as i did this, my stomach started rolling with me. i opened my eyes again, because i felt kind of sick, but found it was hard to open my eyes...they were really heavy. my radio was now off..i wanted to close my eyes again, because the darkness was creeping me out..when i closed them, i got this overlapping circle thing. like, i would close them, and my whole body would go in this circle...big circle that would then overlap where it had started. it almost felt like i had another set of eye lids, because i seemed to have had my eyes closed, and i could feel this other lid drooping down over top of it. it was really really werid. i wanted to open my eyes...this overlapping thing wasn't too fun. i opened them for all of about 2seconds, and they shut on me again, i couldn't control it, and this overlapping cirlce got me, and literally threw me down once it had overlapped. i wanted to open my eyes more than anything now, but i found that i couldn't. i could't open my fucking eyes, and i was terrified. this overlapping thing didn't just stop after once though. it would pick me up, and swirl my whole body in a cirlce, and then BAM. drop me, hard, after it had overlapped. it got faster. and faster. until the only thing i could feel was my body banging...taking that fall after the overlap over and over again. i couldn't tell if maybe my body was shaking with this or something, but it was all too real. so intense. each bang was hard. like falling on cold cement. i realized my whole body was throbbing..the tingling had turned into a big throbbing spree. somehow, somewhere along the way, the banging had subsided, and i found myself staring into eternal darkness. but somehow i was moving farther into it...i started seeing bits and peices of yellow. that soon drifted into this orange mass of liquid...which i then realized was lava, and i was burning up. i felt extremely hot. it wasn't fun anymore. fun had been gone a longgg time ago. i was drenched in my own sweat, and i just remember screaming. it would echo. then everything died. it all stopped. faster than it had all started, it stopped. i listened. the heat was gone. the voices were gone. the banging had stopped...all that was left was the tingling feeling. it was over. i thought it was over. i tried to open my eyes, to see for myself that this was over. but no. i couldn't open them. i could'nt fucking open my eyes, and it was the most annoying and kind of creepy thing. ever. it started spinning up again...and that's all i can remember. i either fell asleep, or i might have even passed out. maybe all that was just in my subconsciousness. who knows. my sleep was so deep, and dreamless. i woke up at about 5AM. the tingling was still there. i could manage to open my eyes. i stretched out, and my legs felt like they were being pulled right out of me. it really hurt. like...my leg muscles were all tightened up, and it felt like they were ripping apart. i sat up, and then i fell back down onto my pillow, and the moment my head met my pillow, it felt like this huge freakin' boulder had fallen on my head. everything was shattered. like...whatever i looked at, it was as if i was looking at it through broken glass... i guess i fell back to sleep and woke up at 6AM. this mental alarm clock in me, gets on my nerves...and i came upstairs. i found it difficult to walk the stairs. i think i fell a couple of times, because my dad says some banging woke him up. i got upstairs, and came on here, and i could hear noises upstairs, and soon my dad came down. he's all, "what are you doing on the computer at this hour ?" i was like...i couldn't sleep. which was...partly true. then he's like, come have breakfast with me. and i did. woo...breakfast with my dad at like 6:30AM in the morning. lol. things still feel pretty ...wonky. you know...kind of spinning...but not really. kind of blurred, but then you shake your head, and it's all normal again.
i think i should really stop doing this, because despite of the good visuals i had, it wasn't really worth it. after the visuals it's literally a trainride straight to hell. with no stops. the whole eyelid and eyes-not-opening thing was just plain disturbing and horrible, and i was literally terrified. i still am. those visuals are to die for. seriously...but...after you've seen them, you like..DIE. it's like this horrible price you have to pay to see them. i don't know if this was a bad trip or what...because it started out great. beyond great. i loved it..the beginning. but then...it changed to the total opposite, and that lasted for what seemed like forever and a day. i just don't know..those visuals were beautiful. but...all in all, i don't think they were worth the after effects. in fact, i KNOW they weren't worth it. that whole trip seriously freaked me out. like..nothing ever before. it wasn't all bad, but...the good just didn't make up for all the bad. almost, but not quite..
i might just stick to dxm, or just mgs. but never both again. never again. God..that was just...unimaginable really. but i can't comprehend that i took ALL the dxm bottle. what the hell was i thinking?! i poured it in my water, and drank it stright up. disgusting. now it's all gone. i have a headache forming, and my eyes keep on crossing on me...
but...ugh. last night...it's for sure a night i won't ever forget. the dizzyness keeps finding it's way back to me. heh...i keep finding myself feeling so..lightheaded. i hate this..
time flew by so fast yet SO slow at other times. it was weird. seriously. it was all truly amazing...even the bad parts..those can only be described as...out-of-this-world. like...it's all so indescribable. i hope i did a good job trying to sum all this up, but i know i missed out a lot of peices. it all happened too fast, yet so slow...and it's hard to explain. eh..i gotta go!.
ONE QUESTION:
i don't think the seeds worked. i think it was mostly the dxm..any ideas of why this might have happened? i didn't even have too many troubles with my stomach, and most people say they do, so eh. any suggestions on why this might have happened would be greatly appreciated.
Friday, May 23d, 2003
-130 morning glory seeds
-orally taken with water.
-setting: in my room.
10:28PM
Ugh. It took me about 15mins just to injest these stupid little seeds. I took one, and it didn't taste, so the I put in like 5 in my mouth and it tasted like dirt, and it was so sick. So i got a glass of water and just swallowed them 10-15 at a time. I probably should have chopped them up or something. Oh well. If it doesn't work, then I know what I did wrong. There's just NO way I can chew those things. Bits are already stuck in my teeth. Eww. This pink pen is just too cool. [pretty self explanitory...i was writing with a pink pen, lol]
11:25
Just took 38 more. Tried to chew them again but that didn't work. They don't seem to be working. Well, kinda. My lips are kind of numb and my fingers are kind of tingling, but nothing big. Eh, let's go watch some T.V...[went and watched trading spaces and some other shit on tv..]
12:09
This was such a stupid idea. [nothing was happening...i had read like 5 chapters in my book and i was getting impatient, lol.]
12:33
Honey, I neeeeed your...
Nananananananananana
Bright Green? [can't reall remember what all this was about...my wall was lime green..and glowing]
12:48
DXM --> UGH.
i still don't feel to too bad.
12:56
The Dimetapp bottle is empty. At the end I noticed it said the amount of DXM is 20mg. Errrr...that taste is giving me chills. Its sooo cross! eeeww [i spelt it cross instead of gross...it really was, though..]
The clock says "lOS" What's that suposed to mean?What did i lose? my throat is burning it's hurt me. [i think the clock said 1:05...i'm a retard. lol]
well, no puking whatsoever. i don't know why people say that...maybe i just have a *tough* tummy...or maybe the other chemicals in the Dimetapp soothed it or whatever. after i took the dxm, everything about me went numb. i can't even remember taking the whole rest of the bottle. i do, but it didn't seem like i was actually doing it at the time. it's only now that i really know that...hey. i took the whole bottle of it. after the numbness then came this really tingly feeling. worse than last time. so tingly that it felt like pin pricks. it kind of hurt...then i climbed into bed,and things got even more tingly. i started drifting into a world that was full with such sensory intensity, that i didn't realize what was going on. my walls started glowing. like, really vibrantly. flashing it seemed at times. i had never seen my room through such a beautiful dimension before...but the light started to hurt my eyes a lot, so i turned my lamp off. everything seemed to still be glowing, even though it was now dark. my stomach started turning a little bit, but then i started seeing colors. and lots of them. i closed my eyes, and there were all these different things. nothing i could make out, but just all...bright and lively, and all these different shaped were moving. really really fast. my radio was on, and i completely tuned it out. it seemed like i was listening to it from 2rooms away. it sounded very far away. very very slow...yet other times, it would be the total opposite and be too fast. the euphoria from it was really strong and overwhelming, to a certain extent. i opened my eyes, and i saw streaks of light...almost like mini fireworks, but they were all in a line. going across. my nightlight had suddenly turned from turquoise to purple...then everything started getting smaller. and more of them. i finally just closed my eyes again, and i surprisingly saw some pretty good closed-eye visuals. they were kind of cool. but way too fast for me to make out anything. just a big huge mass of strewn colors, going every which way, every shape, every size...but after a little bit, it seemed like iwas going through a tunnel, ...into blackness, and all the pretty colors slowly disapeared. i wondered where i was. i suddenly heard voices off in the distance...as i got closer, i could hear it was my mom. she was screaming. she was mad. she was talking about me. i can't remember what she was saying, but it was about me. the voices just kept on getting louder, until they were all around me, and echoing now. i hated that part. hated it all too much. i turned over in my bed, and as i did this, my stomach started rolling with me. i opened my eyes again, because i felt kind of sick, but found it was hard to open my eyes...they were really heavy. my radio was now off..i wanted to close my eyes again, because the darkness was creeping me out..when i closed them, i got this overlapping circle thing. like, i would close them, and my whole body would go in this circle...big circle that would then overlap where it had started. it almost felt like i had another set of eye lids, because i seemed to have had my eyes closed, and i could feel this other lid drooping down over top of it. it was really really werid. i wanted to open my eyes...this overlapping thing wasn't too fun. i opened them for all of about 2seconds, and they shut on me again, i couldn't control it, and this overlapping cirlce got me, and literally threw me down once it had overlapped. i wanted to open my eyes more than anything now, but i found that i couldn't. i could't open my fucking eyes, and i was terrified. this overlapping thing didn't just stop after once though. it would pick me up, and swirl my whole body in a cirlce, and then BAM. drop me, hard, after it had overlapped. it got faster. and faster. until the only thing i could feel was my body banging...taking that fall after the overlap over and over again. i couldn't tell if maybe my body was shaking with this or something, but it was all too real. so intense. each bang was hard. like falling on cold cement. i realized my whole body was throbbing..the tingling had turned into a big throbbing spree. somehow, somewhere along the way, the banging had subsided, and i found myself staring into eternal darkness. but somehow i was moving farther into it...i started seeing bits and peices of yellow. that soon drifted into this orange mass of liquid...which i then realized was lava, and i was burning up. i felt extremely hot. it wasn't fun anymore. fun had been gone a longgg time ago. i was drenched in my own sweat, and i just remember screaming. it would echo. then everything died. it all stopped. faster than it had all started, it stopped. i listened. the heat was gone. the voices were gone. the banging had stopped...all that was left was the tingling feeling. it was over. i thought it was over. i tried to open my eyes, to see for myself that this was over. but no. i couldn't open them. i could'nt fucking open my eyes, and it was the most annoying and kind of creepy thing. ever. it started spinning up again...and that's all i can remember. i either fell asleep, or i might have even passed out. maybe all that was just in my subconsciousness. who knows. my sleep was so deep, and dreamless. i woke up at about 5AM. the tingling was still there. i could manage to open my eyes. i stretched out, and my legs felt like they were being pulled right out of me. it really hurt. like...my leg muscles were all tightened up, and it felt like they were ripping apart. i sat up, and then i fell back down onto my pillow, and the moment my head met my pillow, it felt like this huge freakin' boulder had fallen on my head. everything was shattered. like...whatever i looked at, it was as if i was looking at it through broken glass... i guess i fell back to sleep and woke up at 6AM. this mental alarm clock in me, gets on my nerves...and i came upstairs. i found it difficult to walk the stairs. i think i fell a couple of times, because my dad says some banging woke him up. i got upstairs, and came on here, and i could hear noises upstairs, and soon my dad came down. he's all, "what are you doing on the computer at this hour ?" i was like...i couldn't sleep. which was...partly true. then he's like, come have breakfast with me. and i did. woo...breakfast with my dad at like 6:30AM in the morning. lol. things still feel pretty ...wonky. you know...kind of spinning...but not really. kind of blurred, but then you shake your head, and it's all normal again.
i think i should really stop doing this, because despite of the good visuals i had, it wasn't really worth it. after the visuals it's literally a trainride straight to hell. with no stops. the whole eyelid and eyes-not-opening thing was just plain disturbing and horrible, and i was literally terrified. i still am. those visuals are to die for. seriously...but...after you've seen them, you like..DIE. it's like this horrible price you have to pay to see them. i don't know if this was a bad trip or what...because it started out great. beyond great. i loved it..the beginning. but then...it changed to the total opposite, and that lasted for what seemed like forever and a day. i just don't know..those visuals were beautiful. but...all in all, i don't think they were worth the after effects. in fact, i KNOW they weren't worth it. that whole trip seriously freaked me out. like..nothing ever before. it wasn't all bad, but...the good just didn't make up for all the bad. almost, but not quite..
i might just stick to dxm, or just mgs. but never both again. never again. God..that was just...unimaginable really. but i can't comprehend that i took ALL the dxm bottle. what the hell was i thinking?! i poured it in my water, and drank it stright up. disgusting. now it's all gone. i have a headache forming, and my eyes keep on crossing on me...
but...ugh. last night...it's for sure a night i won't ever forget. the dizzyness keeps finding it's way back to me. heh...i keep finding myself feeling so..lightheaded. i hate this..
time flew by so fast yet SO slow at other times. it was weird. seriously. it was all truly amazing...even the bad parts..those can only be described as...out-of-this-world. like...it's all so indescribable. i hope i did a good job trying to sum all this up, but i know i missed out a lot of peices. it all happened too fast, yet so slow...and it's hard to explain. eh..i gotta go!.
ONE QUESTION:
i don't think the seeds worked. i think it was mostly the dxm..any ideas of why this might have happened? i didn't even have too many troubles with my stomach, and most people say they do, so eh. any suggestions on why this might have happened would be greatly appreciated.
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