So I'm going to donate plasma tomorrow. I'm just going to use this money on dope which I should be getting Saturday. I don't plan on doing that all the time for dope, its just I want to go this time and get the possible drug testing out of the way, as well as the whole questionnaire shit. I don't know how many bags I'm going to pick up yet though, maybe six of them....depends. I do feel bad that I am going to pick up more heroin. The reason is because I promised my best friend I wouldn't and my other best friend who I consider my sister doesn't even know, I'm too afraid to tell her. She would be heartbroken. Another reason I feel horrible is because my mother doesn't even know and if she did, she would have a stroke. So yeah, I really only keep to myself about my drug use. I wish I could talk to them about it but they wouldn't understand or they would totally flip. No one expects me to be using heroin, yeah only smoking weed but not using heroin. So if they found out it would be a total smack to the face.
Other than that my doctor finally set me up with a psychiatrist so they can better prescribe me. He said I could of waited three weeks but I said I rather have him refer me now. I'm tired of relying on these antidepressants that don't do shit. My doctor only kept me on 100mg's of zoloft and wasn't keen that I have been prescribed ativan but oh well they can suck my metaphorical dick.... I actually want something better than ativan though because its not that great of a benzo. The shitty thing is I have this one re-fill left and that's why I need to get to the psychiatrist as soon as possible. I mean I have been spreading out my ativan but it won't be there forever and that's why I hope I can get it re-filled. I don't see why not? I have no record of drug use known....whenever I was asked if I used drugs, even pot I had said no. Lol, even when they asked me if I drink alcohol I was like, "No, only wine at a wedding." Hahah, sorry I am not letting you know anything so you can just prescribe me ibprofen or some more shitty antidepressants. I've been on three and I really tried but they just don't work. I can't even go on prozac because my sister had a negative effect from it and I mean negative. Such as seeing her puke up the lining of her stomach because she attempted suicide....then she is rushed to the hospital. Yeah, the summer before senior year....one hell of a summer and not in a good way.
Other than that my doctor finally set me up with a psychiatrist so they can better prescribe me. He said I could of waited three weeks but I said I rather have him refer me now. I'm tired of relying on these antidepressants that don't do shit. My doctor only kept me on 100mg's of zoloft and wasn't keen that I have been prescribed ativan but oh well they can suck my metaphorical dick.... I actually want something better than ativan though because its not that great of a benzo. The shitty thing is I have this one re-fill left and that's why I need to get to the psychiatrist as soon as possible. I mean I have been spreading out my ativan but it won't be there forever and that's why I hope I can get it re-filled. I don't see why not? I have no record of drug use known....whenever I was asked if I used drugs, even pot I had said no. Lol, even when they asked me if I drink alcohol I was like, "No, only wine at a wedding." Hahah, sorry I am not letting you know anything so you can just prescribe me ibprofen or some more shitty antidepressants. I've been on three and I really tried but they just don't work. I can't even go on prozac because my sister had a negative effect from it and I mean negative. Such as seeing her puke up the lining of her stomach because she attempted suicide....then she is rushed to the hospital. Yeah, the summer before senior year....one hell of a summer and not in a good way.