Bob Loblaw
Bluelight Crew
Not only do the bags themselves make for an annoying soundtrack to accompany a person’s studying, but also the gases contained within each bag can be harmful when expelled into the buildings. A recent study of the chemicals contained within the recycled air at Gleeson library show that the gases contained within every bag of Doritos potato chips have raised by a whopping 27 percent. Fortunately, the levels tend to drop off during the rest of the semester, but if in the case that they do rise above the acceptable level then the University might have to declare a state of emergency.
There are a few more changes that have come to the Gleeson Library’s policy handbook:
1. Any noise-making articles of clothing are banned: tap shoes, boots, hard soled shoes, corduroys, wet umbrellas, windbreakers and MC Hammer inspired wind pants.
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persons who are prone to sniffles.
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