Moon Stopped Shining

[That_Guy]

I was thinking when the moon stopped shining
About trails that I've wandered on before
and learning that always through their winding
I'd end up where I've never been before.

She said she loved me; through electric wire
That she's been lonely ever since I've gone
Though my travels always leave me tired
I told her she'd see me again before long.

The trail is long
And the sky is black
Your muscles ache
and your knuckles crack

But one day soon
And I don't know when
I'll see her face
and smile again.

The dawn broke with crashing and a clatter
To tell me of the day that lay ahead
Walk path ways that never will have mattered
And to find her happy again before I'm dead

The trail is long
And the sky is black
Your muscles ache
and your knuckles crack

But one day soon
And I don't know when
I'll see her face
and smile again.

When my trail and travels have all ended
In knowledge and stories and in fame
The story ends, as though it all depended
On keeping promises I never should have made.

 

[(Wordy)]

Cool stuff... is there music to go with this?

Not that it really needs any, because it has its own music; the rhyming meter is very well crafted.

Glad to see you're not afraid to use half-rhymes too, and they work well... except my only criticism would be that the final half-rhyme (fame / made) is a little unconvincing. I think this piece deserves to end on a strong rhyme.

 

[That_Guy]

Thanks, that's helpful

Change "in fame" to "I fade"