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Bluelighter
Four years later
And the heart still gets carried away.
How can the mention of a place
Or thought of a name
Send emotions sashaying past the currents of reality?
I often wonder about all the what ifs and if nots.
And realize that it all went the way
It was meant to.
Our love was my Roshi
And in our meditative trance worshiping tears of joy
You were determined not to look beyond now.
How perfectly sad and perfectly happy and perfectly Zen.
I begged you to see the doors
You refused to walk through.
But I know now what you knew then
And love you still for learning.
Our picture perfect lives
Were mere illustrations of a magical
Fairytale book.
Right now,
I might not have the leopard skin pill box hats
Or all Leonard Cohen Christmases.
We might not have the guitars on the Himalayas.
Or the smell of Starbucks coffee in a country delapidated with poverty.
I might not be learning my shotokan kata's
While standing in subway stations of Toronto
And Baldwin street will perpetually florish without us.
I might not be learning kanji in a land
Where it is not needed.
And I am no longer making love
Against the monsoon rains that made the other cities blink.
But him and I ...
We have the desert and the Joshua trees.
We have the music and we have the beat.
We have fire and we have the heat.
But most of all,
We are walking on Truth.
And there in lies our most
Powerful
Beauty.
------------------
"Like a bird on a wire, Like a drunk in a midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free" - Leonard Cohen
And the heart still gets carried away.
How can the mention of a place
Or thought of a name
Send emotions sashaying past the currents of reality?
I often wonder about all the what ifs and if nots.
And realize that it all went the way
It was meant to.
Our love was my Roshi
And in our meditative trance worshiping tears of joy
You were determined not to look beyond now.
How perfectly sad and perfectly happy and perfectly Zen.
I begged you to see the doors
You refused to walk through.
But I know now what you knew then
And love you still for learning.
Our picture perfect lives
Were mere illustrations of a magical
Fairytale book.
Right now,
I might not have the leopard skin pill box hats
Or all Leonard Cohen Christmases.
We might not have the guitars on the Himalayas.
Or the smell of Starbucks coffee in a country delapidated with poverty.
I might not be learning my shotokan kata's
While standing in subway stations of Toronto
And Baldwin street will perpetually florish without us.
I might not be learning kanji in a land
Where it is not needed.
And I am no longer making love
Against the monsoon rains that made the other cities blink.
But him and I ...
We have the desert and the Joshua trees.
We have the music and we have the beat.
We have fire and we have the heat.
But most of all,
We are walking on Truth.
And there in lies our most
Powerful
Beauty.
------------------
"Like a bird on a wire, Like a drunk in a midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free" - Leonard Cohen