Monday

On Monday I have an appointment with a Suboxone doctor. Finally, I'll have my own prescription. I feel like having my own prescription will cut my anxiety levels way down. I didn't tell him I was prescribed benzos as well so I guess we'll see. He doesn't seem like the type to piss test... I hope not anyway... I'm already semi-maintained on Suboxone so he said he'd knock $50 bucks off the prescription. Holla. I am so anxious for Monday to come because tomorrow is pay day and I really don't want to spend that money on heroin... I don't think I will because I really don't have any other chance to get a Suboxone prescription. I feel like this is a step in the right direction...
 
Good luck. I never got on maintenence therapy because I didn't think I needed to. Looking back on it I would have had an easier time with a sub script. But all is well now I'm off regardless. Try the subs. At least you won't be sick and its definitely a good step.
 
I definitely understand the mentality of not wanting to go on maintenance because I feel like I have resigned myself to being an addict. I want to be able to quit heroin/opiates on my own but it's really not happening for me at the moment. I can either go on maintenance and live a somewhat normal life or continue being strung out and spending every dime I have... it was a long, hard decision but I think it's the right one for now.

I am super happy that you were able to get off the dope without the aid of a maintenance drug like Suboxone or methadone. That's not easy so you should totally be proud of yourself.
 
Suboxone changed my life for the better but it took 4 years. The first year i would sell most of my script to buy dope only taking the suboxone when broke and sick. But gradually i started being on subs more days then dope. Then i realized i could get high on dope while still on subs of i kept my dose low. So i did that for awhile. But gradually over time dope got boring and i quit. I have only used a handful of times in the last year. Let me tell you my life is amazing right now. I got back everything dope took with interest. I have my parents and friends trust and respect. But the best part is that i got better without AA or total abstinance. I take molly drink bud w/e except opiates. And i couldnt be happier.

Point is. Be patient with yourself you didnt get addicted in a day so you wont get unaddicted in a day.
 
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