Things are on track, sticking to plan. I'm not feel bad at all actually. What I'm finding is that that tinge of withdrawal, only really starts to show itself in the later evening and when I first get up in the morning. It's kind of strange in that sense, because my two daily doses are spread out pretty much exactly twelve hours apart. Yet I don't feel anything at work. It seems that supports the notion that keeping busy is so key. Just getting out of the house for whatever purpose helps a lot if I'm a bit uneasy.
Just doing basic day to day things helps keep the mind on track. I got a haircut yesterday at the local cheap hairdresser, Supercuts kind of place, and there are two people on duty, this one older lady that cut my hair once before and I hate it she basically scrapes the skin off your skull as she combs through you hair, and then some nice younger girl - I get a kick I'm reading some car magazine and just hoping, oh please finish first, pulls out the blowdrier, that means it's almost done right? But no it's a girl getting her haircut so apparantly that involves just endlessly picking up little strands and snipping off tiny bits, gotta be perfect right.. So I think I'm doomed and maybe I should go run out to the car, oh I have an important phone call to take. But I got lucky. A haircut is sort of a cheap man's massage, you can close your eyes and it's relaxing I find. I think a key to being satisfied in life is finding the interest and humour in all the mundane activities that everyone needs to do. It's all your frame of mind, but my goal is to just use my keep my mind going creatively and actively all the time, so nothing is a chore. That is an idea I have thought about a lot. Most people just whine so much about their grind, this and that, but pretty much everything is subjective and perspective counts - so with the right attitude can all sorts of boring or tedious things you need to do be interesting or even enjoyable? I want to explore that.
There's a Russian writer called Ouspensky, and I remember reading a book of his, I believe it is called "In search of the miraculous". And he talks about some exercise - just stop and focus inward for a second, sort of acknowledge your mind and thinking as seperate from the rest of the world, your life, the things you do - "remember yourself" he says. It's very powerful actually I think. I do it a lot, but I remember first reading that I kind of did what he asked and you get this sense like "I've been doing things and thinking the whole time, but it feels almost like I was on autopilot before" - It lets you step out from everything and sort of reinvigorate yourself as an individual mind, a free and creative one if you want it.
I'm a big fan of philsophy books, they can really give you inspiration and confidence. I should join some kind of book club type thing, I don't know if they have ones for different topics or if most are the kind devoted to Oprah's pick of the months, you have to be female over 35.
I'm sticking to my healthy diet plans. Skipping on any junk foods. I couldn't believe it, today I actually made a decent breakfast for the first time I can remember in a couple of years. Made lunch instead of buying it. Not such a big deal, took me like 7 minutes in the morning, yet a lot of people and me included would argue they don't have time, and then just go spend $10 on something unhealthy. It's getting cold outside now and my building doesn't have super efficient heating so it gets chilly inside - I've been drinking tons of herbal teas, to stay warm and it sort of relaxes you. They have some cool shops at the malls, I think it's a new trend in the past few years, where they sell like a hundred different types of loose teas. After longing for a high so long it almost makes me feel a high to be able to get a sense of pleasure from simple things like a drink.
Didn't get to the gym tonight. Have a few things left to tidy up and had a couple of errands to run. Tommorow for sure though, I'll be packing the gym bag tonight. I should weigh myself and make note of the sort of changes this process brings in this regards. I wouldn't be surprised if it's a lot, I easily weighed 30 lbs more when I was fit and healthy before than I do now, like 175 or so at my peak.
I think as you can see I intend to put in lots of self-indulgent bits, probably lacking in the interesting department. But it is making me feel good to express myself a bit.
It's probably 100x better than some kind of journal day after day of lurid details of the discomfort and pain mixed in with "oh god how good it would feel to use right nowwww......"
Thanks,
Just doing basic day to day things helps keep the mind on track. I got a haircut yesterday at the local cheap hairdresser, Supercuts kind of place, and there are two people on duty, this one older lady that cut my hair once before and I hate it she basically scrapes the skin off your skull as she combs through you hair, and then some nice younger girl - I get a kick I'm reading some car magazine and just hoping, oh please finish first, pulls out the blowdrier, that means it's almost done right? But no it's a girl getting her haircut so apparantly that involves just endlessly picking up little strands and snipping off tiny bits, gotta be perfect right.. So I think I'm doomed and maybe I should go run out to the car, oh I have an important phone call to take. But I got lucky. A haircut is sort of a cheap man's massage, you can close your eyes and it's relaxing I find. I think a key to being satisfied in life is finding the interest and humour in all the mundane activities that everyone needs to do. It's all your frame of mind, but my goal is to just use my keep my mind going creatively and actively all the time, so nothing is a chore. That is an idea I have thought about a lot. Most people just whine so much about their grind, this and that, but pretty much everything is subjective and perspective counts - so with the right attitude can all sorts of boring or tedious things you need to do be interesting or even enjoyable? I want to explore that.
There's a Russian writer called Ouspensky, and I remember reading a book of his, I believe it is called "In search of the miraculous". And he talks about some exercise - just stop and focus inward for a second, sort of acknowledge your mind and thinking as seperate from the rest of the world, your life, the things you do - "remember yourself" he says. It's very powerful actually I think. I do it a lot, but I remember first reading that I kind of did what he asked and you get this sense like "I've been doing things and thinking the whole time, but it feels almost like I was on autopilot before" - It lets you step out from everything and sort of reinvigorate yourself as an individual mind, a free and creative one if you want it.
I'm a big fan of philsophy books, they can really give you inspiration and confidence. I should join some kind of book club type thing, I don't know if they have ones for different topics or if most are the kind devoted to Oprah's pick of the months, you have to be female over 35.
I'm sticking to my healthy diet plans. Skipping on any junk foods. I couldn't believe it, today I actually made a decent breakfast for the first time I can remember in a couple of years. Made lunch instead of buying it. Not such a big deal, took me like 7 minutes in the morning, yet a lot of people and me included would argue they don't have time, and then just go spend $10 on something unhealthy. It's getting cold outside now and my building doesn't have super efficient heating so it gets chilly inside - I've been drinking tons of herbal teas, to stay warm and it sort of relaxes you. They have some cool shops at the malls, I think it's a new trend in the past few years, where they sell like a hundred different types of loose teas. After longing for a high so long it almost makes me feel a high to be able to get a sense of pleasure from simple things like a drink.
Didn't get to the gym tonight. Have a few things left to tidy up and had a couple of errands to run. Tommorow for sure though, I'll be packing the gym bag tonight. I should weigh myself and make note of the sort of changes this process brings in this regards. I wouldn't be surprised if it's a lot, I easily weighed 30 lbs more when I was fit and healthy before than I do now, like 175 or so at my peak.
I think as you can see I intend to put in lots of self-indulgent bits, probably lacking in the interesting department. But it is making me feel good to express myself a bit.
It's probably 100x better than some kind of journal day after day of lurid details of the discomfort and pain mixed in with "oh god how good it would feel to use right nowwww......"
Thanks,