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TDS Mom's finally sober... dammit

Hartless

Hartless

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 29, 2011
Messages
56
Location
Austin
So I just 6 months ago to a new city same state. I've been sober off my DOC for 5 of the 6 and it's been hell, yeah PAWS. My mom's a severe alcoholic and its been on and off my whole life. My delima is the whole time I've been sober, trying so hard, my mom has been drinking and we share an apartment. For the past month I got a connect n have been using but my mom just recently got sober granted its only been a few days n I don't expect her to stay sober but... I'm using n now I feel guilty. Don't know if I cab stop for a while. I don't see that happening anytime soon. Am I soo wrong? of course I am but...
 
You need to get away from your mom I think, it would never work for me to stay sober if I was living with someone who was using drugs or drinking all the time. My girlfriend who I had been together with for some years left me some weeks after I said I decided I didn't want this life any longer and wanted to come clean. She wanted to keep using all the time and it just didn't work out. We would have had to part ways sooner or later so it was probably all for the best anyway.
 
You were clean for months, so you're saying mom's drinking triggered you to go back on drugs?
 
of course you can stop for a while - you just told us you have been sober for 5 out of the 6 months you've been in your new location. if you did that once you can certainly do it again.

i think your problem probably lies more in discovering what your motive behind getting high is. maybe you can get to the root of that and sort it out. personally my main motivation behind using has always been that i am lonely and have little in the way of a local support system. using certainly provides a temporary escape but it is not fulfilling and when i sober up i have the same problems with the compounding situation that i am broke.
 
I've been clean from drugs (doc was IV heroin) for going on 14 months. my moms an alcoholic as well. I get tired of dealing with her shit, both when she's sober and drunk. I manage though. you can't use another person as an excuse to use. its a cop out. you used because you wanted to use. no ifs, ands, or buts. you weren't working a program from the sound of things, weren't putting forth the effort in staying clean. I came home from rehab and was picked up by a completely hammered drunk mom who I fought with daily til I went to jail for warrants. every visitation she came drunk as fuck and we fought. after I got out her and I fight pretty much daily, but did I use? nope. sorry for being blunt, but here's my advice: get some type of support, cut contact with dealers, find a hobby, and work on improving yourself. I got love for you bud as we have similar stories, but the first step to recovery is that the only thing you can control is your own actions.
 
You're all right and I know it was ultimately my choice to seek out dope again. But being around my drunk, well now sober mom, has always made the decision to use a much, all though wrong, easier one. I could put the shit down and not get dope sick or experience too much depression but that's easier said than done. Boredom, loneliness and depression are my triggers, the dope works as a temporary fix while making everything worse at the same time... sigh
 
maybe try getting out n about. I leave the crib when my ma is acting bitchy and edgy (which is multiple times a day). its obvious she's a significant trigger for you to use. you look into alternative housing? such as going into sober living or half way/three-quarter way house? you can't use any drugs there but it could be a good stepping stone to get yourself together to move out on your own. look into some community resources.
 
Good job on being sober for those months. have to agree with S101 and CH, if your trying to be clean, loose the users. After you have some time clean you may or may not be able to, but for the time being cut your self loose. I'm sorry that your mother is an active drunk. IMO that drug is a nightmare and has such terrible results for so long if a person continues to use. Being around alcoholics drives me crazy, when i used, now that im clean, even when i was drunk. making it four months is a great start, find a better living situation and do it again. Good luck.
 
Hartless said:
So I just 6 months ago to a new city same state. I've been sober off my DOC for 5 of the 6 and it's been hell, yeah PAWS. My mom's a severe alcoholic and its been on and off my whole life. My delima is the whole time I've been sober, trying so hard, my mom has been drinking and we share an apartment. For the past month I got a connect n have been using but my mom just recently got sober granted its only been a few days n I don't expect her to stay sober but... I'm using n now I feel guilty. Don't know if I cab stop for a while. I don't see that happening anytime soon. Am I soo wrong? of course I am but...
Click to expand...

If you love your mom, keep your use and lifestyle away from her if she is honestly trying to get/stay clean. its that simple
 
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