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iLoveYouWithaKnife

iLoveYouWithaKnife

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 30, 2002
Messages
8,351
If I started every single day
the way it ended the night before,
there may not be a chance
of a brighter tomorrow.

Every night for me,
doesn't end miserably.
It just ends.
And so, the new day would
Just begin.
There would be no hope
for wonderful new comings.

And even though,
I am still waiting
for something ,
anything new to happen...
I start the day with a kiss to my left,
as I crawl out of the right,
stumble into the bathroom
then into my car
only to find another parking ticket.

Rountine leads to boring days
and boring nights, and boring
everythings.
Even though it's the one thing,
(routine)
sometimes the only thing,
you can count on,
it leads me feeling
the hellish burden of
what the fuck am i doing here?!

Can I make anyone fucking happy?
Fuck, what does that word even mean?
Can I ever be on the
'list of important'
on someone's agenda?
How come no one ever
remembers my fucking birthday...
They can even be a few days late.
I wouldn't mind.
How come no one ever
sends me a 'hello' email?

And why do I allow
myself to pretend
that I really don't care
about all of this,
all of anything,
when really I do.

When can I be a person I like.
A person that everyone likes.
No one listens.
No one hears.
I've grown so acustomed to that
over the years.
To the point where I think it's natural.
Maybe.

How do you become this person
with the greatest strength,
when you don't have any
strength left at all?
How do you become more
like the next girl
(the one everyone rants about)
when all you see in her is flaws?
Superficial and plastic.

What every fucking happened to
the idealist and realist,
the thoughtful and caring?
I guess I don't exsist.
In a lot of people's eyes.
 
this is a great poem, i can relate to this poem alot.......I love it when someone writes about how you feel too.
 
That is REALLY good... definitely one of the best poems i've read of yours so far.

I hope you feel better soon (i'm so hopeless sometimes with replies - I never know what to say!).
 
How do you become more
like the next girl
(the one everyone rants about)
when all you see in her is flaws?
Superficial and plastic.
Click to expand...
exactly. sounds like my best friend in high school.

all i know is... i think that you are stronger than you think. i have met you, but i havent ever really hung out with you... yet i feel you on a more personal level than a lot of people do. I see a girl who knows what she wants in life and isnt afraid to get it. Someone who can love passionately, the right person. But like me, you look at the world through the eyes of a person who's been badly hurt. And its only natural. I was just telling danny last night the same thing... its not that i'm pessimistic. i'm quite the opposite. its just that i prefer not too put too much hope on "maybe somedays". Because to me, if you dont get your hopes up, you dont get disappointed as bad. Its nice to wish and hope... but its the worst feeling in the world to have it blow up in your face.

People DO notice. People DO think of you. Trust me.
 
Thanks for the replies.

On the note of pessimistic........

Yeah, if had to be one, I would choose that route only because....
if you think the worst all the time
and it happens
you are a little more prepared.
if you think the best all the time
and something bad happens
you are 100 times more tramatized.
if you think the worst
and something great happens
it is 100 times better
because you didn't expect it.

Is the glass half empty or half full??

It depends on how it was poured really.
Or how much was drank or spilled.

BUT
The realist.......
the realist would see the glass with liquid,
and taken with that,
be glad they have anything at all,
reguardless of how little or much.
 
The only people who really matter are the ones you collect along the way who stick with you even through the downs. THe are the people who can see more than the current moment, and who's values reflect their intelligence and thoughtfulness rather than a socially-sactioned vision of acceptability. People who take the time to think for themselves, to consider the world outside of that pre-packaged glossy media view. These are the people who matter. The people who understand that gowth is necessary and friendships adapt. The people who make you smile, just thinking about them. They are a rare treasure, and sometimes you still grow apart, but you alwyas carry something of friends like that with you.
 
I really liked this poem, beautiful writing style;

I like how you went through day-routine, to general-routine, to being ignored, to hope
you covers a few different topics and it always seems right

'smileyfish's thing was good especially at the end (gotta lotta ex-friends like this)

I now consider myself a 'cynical idealist' in that I want the world to fit my ideological model (to the extent of no power battles between people ever, no judgements of people, etc; i.e: nature itself does not stop me wishing for it to be better), but also am quite cynical in how I think things really are;
I often have to face this gap between my hopes and my reality which is both dissapointing and painful

Meh, what if you would get more out of things if you were an 'optimist' who always went for everything, or believed it would turn out good?
I used to turn a shitload of average situations into really good ones simply by being convinced life was so wonderful; but then when the shock came and I realised that it wasn't like that I believe I got a much bigger shock than most people.
 
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