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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Modafinil does get you high in dangerous doses.

Man I’m so tired but wired I have a 12 pack of c4 energy smart but I doubt I should drink that with this yet I think it’s be fine because I have extremely high caffeine tolerance

Mostly I’m just here starting to come out the high and come down maybe I mean I hope.

I think I am. Do you all ever drink caffeine in come
Downs? Is that safe. I do it with amps but modafinil is friggim dirty and like someone else said nasty
safe or not, I'd caution against adding another stimulant while 'wired' as you put it

you said you wanted to feel less wired/stimulated but caffeine will make it worse - more than one stim isn't the best combo at all especially if you want to calm down

have you got access to any sedatives? I'm assuming not as you probably would have taken some, bit a small sedative dose would be the best thing atm, definitely not more stims
 
safe or not, I'd caution against adding another stimulant while 'wired' as you put it

you said you wanted to feel less wired/stimulated but caffeine will make it worse - more than one stim isn't the best combo at all especially if you want to calm down

have you got access to any sedatives? I'm assuming not as you probably would have taken some, bit a small sedative dose would be the best thing atm, definitely not more stims
Derail Clonidine usually I don’t need it but yeah I ain’t gonna lie I almost went to the damn hospital thai
Mornings I normally don’t do this stupid of stuff unreal so mad

L theanine.

Thank you btw. I hate this drug makes you focus on like
Laser focus but on the wrong shit like if I get sad I’ll laser focus and then it I creases negative feeling.

So I am just trying to focus on things that are t district inv and distract myself I can’t I take the shut ya know

I did take my BP tho it was in range. Heart rate a little high but come on

AnOMG i just out zym in and they burn your mouth
Like hell on this.

Not to mention memory was going with it in.

I think this drug I. High doses makes you unreasonably anxious and not yourself at all. Like I’m not depressed at all. But damn I feeel like the world is ending when everything aside from this is going great
 
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Okay so kava or am edibke
To help with side effects of over stimulation? That’s my options or massive l theanine dose but I never did that and only heard of
It so idk
 
Derail Clonidine usually I don’t need it but yeah I ain’t gonna lie I almost went to the damn hospital thai
Mornings I normally don’t do this stupid of stuff unreal so mad

L theanine.

Thank you btw. I hate this drug makes you focus on like
Laser focus but on the wrong shit like if I get sad I’ll laser focus and then it I creases negative feeling.

So I am just trying to focus on things that are t district inv and distract myself I can’t I take the shut ya know

I did take my BP tho it was in range. Heart rate a little high but come on

AnOMG i just out zym in and they burn your mouth
Like hell on this.

Not to mention memory was going with it in.

I think this drug I. High doses makes you unreasonably anxious and not yourself at all. Like I’m not depressed at all. But damn I feeel like the world is ending when everything aside from this is going great
have a go at finding something you'd like to focus on perhaps? you're probably gonna be up for a while on that dose so looks like one thing to do would be to put your attention to something constructive and/or pleasurable cos that should stop you focussing/spiralling on the anxiety. Might take you 10/15 minutes of brute-forcing the situation though, so if's not happening straightaway with your choisen topic or activity don't give up, give it a little time

Getting hyper-focus locked in on anxiety is a terrible feeling man, I feel for you
 
It’s true
not neccesarily - carrying on like you are with stimulants makes it a lot more likely though

but really, that's nothing to think about right now as will only spike anxiety and that's the opposite of what you want

you can't un-take the modafinil, so deal with the situation you have in this moment right now, and you will be better served by getting your mind off worst-case scenario thinking and into something you find relaxing or pleasurable
 
It’s true u fuckin idiot. Every 5 mins the guys on here doing shit like this or asking advice cuz he’s abusing his meds.
He knows it himself so stfu.
Everyone’s like there there it will be ok like he’s a fuckin child.
He’s a grown ass man that needs to fix up and I got a problem saying it.
All he does is moan that the drs don’t know what they’re doing because someone on Reddit told him so. It’s a fuckin joke.
Then he cries like a bitch that the advice off Reddit or here turned out terrible and he’s fine something like this.


Juice. Listen to ur fuckin drs before u fuck urself up permanently.
 
It’s true u fuckin idiot. Every 5 mins the guys on here doing shit like this or asking advice cuz he’s abusing his meds.
He knows it himself so stfu.
Everyone’s like there there it will be ok like he’s a fuckin child.
He’s a grown ass man that needs to fix up and I got a problem saying it.
All he does is moan that the drs don’t know what they’re doing because someone on Reddit told him so. It’s a fuckin joke.
Then he cries like a bitch that the advice off Reddit or here turned out terrible and he’s fine something like this.


Juice. Listen to ur fuckin drs before u fuck urself up permanently.
I think Bad boys thing was your timing man. Yes it needs to be said sometimes. The hard truth is a form of love and care.

That said there is a time and place for it and that isn’t when someone is fighting for their life. I may have down played it some but make no mistake I was scared as a bitch. But I shooof have known id be alright because I’m ford tough like gates says.

But I’m also realistic and of course one day I know I’ll push it too far and won’t come back from it. So I know that. I fully understand that.

And as far as me being a disaster waiting to happen that is true when it comes to ANY stimulants aside coffee or kratom. Those are safe for me.

Now I know modafinil isn’t safe for me. I really was thinking it wasn’t abusable. It’s more abusable than Ritalin imo or about the same.

Not worth it tho at all. It’s the third day and I still haven’t slept well maybe 15 minutes. Hell I even took two seagulls and all that did is leave me feeling shittier but still awake.

I have to work tonight and was planning on flushing all the pills today but idk if I can work tonight like this. Been up for three days!!! And with my mind spinning. I haven’t recovered yet.

But I have to go so idk what he fuck I’m going to do. I’m thinking about just throwing away all but two pills. Takes at least 4-6 to get any kind of threshold high.

Then if I need to be awake tonight I would take them but I am leery of it causing mental health symptoms. Idk what the fuck. Maybe I just have to man up and push thru it. Thing is I may fall asleep at work. I will at a desk and it’s light work lots of down time.

Idk.
 
I may have down played it some but make no mistake I was scared as a bitch. But I shooof have known id be alright because I’m ford tough like gates says.
Good to read you're on your way up, if not recovered.
Takes at least 4-6 to get any kind of threshold high.
But there's time for fun and experiments (getting high) and time for simply staying awake (work). So if you think you'll be tempted to take more pills than you need for just staying awake, then flush them. And if the two you intend on keeping aren't enough to prevent you from falling asleep, then at least you'll be sleeping,even if it's for 15 minutes.
If your or someone else's safety depends on you not falling asleep, though, I would ask for an emergenyday off or put in a sick day.

ButI guess you know that already.
 
Good to read you're on your way up, if not recovered.

But there's time for fun and experiments (getting high) and time for simply staying awake (work). So if you think you'll be tempted to take more pills than you need for just staying awake, then flush them. And if the two you intend on keeping aren't enough to prevent you from falling asleep, then at least you'll be sleeping,even if it's for 15 minutes.
If your or someone else's safety depends on you not falling asleep, though, I would ask for an emergenyday off or put in a sick day.

ButI guess you know that already.
Yeah I think you’re right. I meant to thank you by the way for your kind words yesterday. It helped to know that.

I was feeling pretty lowly obviously lol…still ain’t slept tho…never again.
 
To be very honest. I’m a little concerned but I think I been thru worse. I ain’t ready to go and will fight it to the death for me but man I ai r gonna lie I think this shit fucks with mood worse than Amps and dare I say Ritalin.
Dude, is there anything safe for you to take?
No, I am not being my usual self, I am being very serious. It just seems like whatever medication legal or otherwise, you seem to automatically abuse it.
You, like the rest of us, have issues, but it seems like there is no medication or drug that is safe for you to have possession of. ( The bottle, bag ect...)
Do you have anyone that can be in control of your meds?.
I picked up my monthly supply of Valium 6 days late because I had half a bottle left. I saw that date, said " oh shit" and drove to the pharmacy yesterday. Also I forgot I was on a low dose of gabapentin, it was waiting there for me also.
All the damage from 20+ years of alcohol abuse and so many years of benzos, although I constantly forget to take them.
 
Dude, is there anything safe for you to take?
No, I am not being my usual self, I am being very serious. It just seems like whatever medication legal or otherwise, you seem to automatically abuse it.
You, like the rest of us, have issues, but it seems like there is no medication or drug that is safe for you to have possession of. ( The bottle, bag ect...)
Do you have anyone that can be in control of your meds?.
I picked up my monthly supply of Valium 6 days late because I had half a bottle left. I saw that date, said " oh shit" and drove to the pharmacy yesterday. Also I forgot I was on a low dose of gabapentin, it was waiting there for me also.
All the damage from 20+ years of alcohol abuse and so many years of benzos, although I constantly forget to take them.

Nah I need to stay off all scheduled meds that have Amy abuse potential. I just have a side of me that comes out sometimes that has a death wish or something idk. I have DID and this part wants to die but I don’t. And I am the Self. My core part.

So that part tried and I negotiate to just fi drugs instead and this part agrees but tricks me and takes over and pushes the dose EVERY time and EVERY drug playing Russian roulette kind of.

I think that’s what’s going on is addiction to the risk of dying but I don’t want to die it’s like the thrill of nearly dying is almost like being born again.

But that shit is for the birds. I’m done
I already told my provider this morning no more. Period. Anything scheduled for any kind of abuse.

I mean hell
Modafinil is schedule 4. So it shouldn’t be that a usable but damn is it. I even asked veterans in here with experience with it and they too said there is no high and it’s not addictive. And on paper it shouldn’t be aside from the dopamine transporter inhibition but it’s thought to be weak there.

At the end of the day it’s all on me. I’m the one who put the damn pills in my mouth and none said to take 1500mg and nearly kill yourself. I only blame myself but even then I’m just taking it as a lesson. I can’t have any adhd meds and I do t really think I need them. I think I talked myself into thinking I need them.

Thanks for your kind words friend.
 
Thank you to ALL of you that cared enough to react or reply. I know it’s hard to have sympathy for someone that’s constantly doing this to themselves.

But I just have a very extensive extremely trauma history and it affects me with risk taking with my life.

I control it IF I’m not under the influence. But once under the influence a part of me takes over that is all about that. See I’m fucked up man without drugs. I’m The habit shouldn’t do any except maybe weed and occasional kratom. I do good with that.
 
Just something I noticed a pattern if you like. But you like pushing everything you do to the limit. Like you have no self control over your meds or self, like a little bit of self discipline. You made numerous threads that's mostly just going on about the same thing. Or how you can get more fuxt up on the stuff you have. I just want to say this. Slow down and reevaluate your self and your situation. What are your real needs and problems and start to deal with them one at a time. I'm not coming down on you but only saying with much love and for HR purposes.

Good luck and glad you okay.
 
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Thing is I may fall asleep at work. I will at a desk and it’s light work lots of down time.

Idk.


Just take them at work not all of them just the one's that you need. And then stay busy and focus on work to have something to do and to keep your mind off of taking the rest of them.

I know it's so weird how we all can never fall asleep but go to work and you fall asleep because you can't stay awake.

I know I'm guilty of it too. :rolleyes: lol

Just go to work to keep your mind off of it ALL and stay busy.

Much Love. <3
 
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