I've gone through a few kratom phases, first serious one starting around 2012. I first tried it in the UK as it was classed as a 'legal high' and sold in head shops. I've always used the powder form. First tried it as an alternative to tramadol which I had become rather fond of at the time but struggled to source a regular supply. I've always struggled with lethargy and opioids seemed to be a great solution to this initially. Kratom was a similar feeling to tramadol. to me, a bit euphoric and buzzy. It gave me a boost of energy and would take it after work to go to the gym. After this I discovered that it was lovely first thing in the morning to get me up and out for an early nursing shift. From there I started to take it morning, mid morning break, afternoon break and evening and it worked wonders to get me through 12 hour nursing shifts. After a while though I realized that the effect would wear off fairly quickly and I would be constantly thinking about my next dose. There were the early stages of withdrawal too, dysphoria and a lowering of mood alongside a shitty withdrawal feeling. After that for years it became so ingrained in my daily routine that I couldn't contemplate life without it even though I was probably getting minimal benefit. Day trips out and holidays I had to make sure I had my supply in hand and doses prepared. I became an expert at chucking down a dose subtly and often in public mainly to stave off the horrible withdrawal feeling. It got to the point where I would often wake up in the night feeling like shit and have to chuck a dose down to go back to sleep. There were many attempts to taper and stop over the years. My most successful up until recently was a whole year off using Wim Hoff breathing techniques to give me a lift in the mornings. Eventually the lethargy and stress of life led me back to it again with the intention of just using it sparingly every few days for a little buzz and relaxation. Was back to my usual dosing schedule within a day or two and as is common, as time goes on would always sneak in extra doses when feeling low or stressed. Not sure what my total use was at my worst but probably between 20 and 30 grams daily which is not a lot to some. What finally prompted me to quit a couple of months ago was the fact the for the past year I have been noticing dark patches of pigmentation on my face around my eyes. People commented thinking I had been punched in the face etc. It just looks a bit weird. Upon researching this I discovered that hyper pigmentation can be a side effect of Kratom use and If i was to keep going it would likely get much worse. I have chatted to other chronic users with the same issue that didn't stop early and it has seriously affected their self confidence. I have managed to quit now using a supply of codeine tablets then weaning off them but I still struggle day to day and often relapse on them or the odd low dose oxy I manage to get my hands on.
To sum up. Kratom can be a fun if mellow buzz to give you a bit of motivation, light euphoria (for a while) and definitely has it's place in helping people come off harder opiates but don't mess with it if you are vulnerable to compulsive behavior or have an addictive nature. It can take over your whole daily routine if you let it to the point where you are getting minimal benefit and just living from dose to dose.