I completely understand how you feel,except your frustration is on a level that I cannot imagine. I mean,you are an admin-and a damn good one. I remember when I first joined,I so wanted to post in TDS,I just couldn't,I wasn't at peace with what I needed to unload. But I would read your posts and feel a wave of awe wash over me. your words are so beautiful,full of love and compassion and encouragement. In all honesty,I was and still am intimidated by you-but in a GOOD way. I have so much respect for you,you have no idea. I can't imagine how thankless an Admins job is- so for all the unspoken gratitude, let me say for them...........THANK YOU!!!
And if people misunderstand you,fuck 'em! They obviously are not people that you would want to be friends with,like Dave said above-a group of intelligent people who use the same lexicon understand each other but in the midst of all that will always be those who just don't get it. It is impossible to correctly infer tone through posts-through words that are typed and not spoken. You are beautiful and inspiring and dedicated and even if you don't feel it-you are appreciated-especially by those of us who "get" you. You have no reason for insecurity,although I understand why it is there. Just know that who you are is perfect. you are exactly who you are meant to be.
A short but reassuring poem is posted below. It has impacted my life in such a tremendous way. I hope it does the same for you.
Much peace and love.......................kerri
Max Ehrmann
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
I sent this to Rosie,too...you guys are super women to me. keep your head up,beautiful!!!
