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Methylone and my psychological addiction

Marauder

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Sep 6, 2010
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Us.. and them.
Methylone is one of my favorite drugs because it puts me in what I consider the perfect mindset (for me.) The person I am in my head comes out and feels 100% natural. I feel more sober than I've ever felt in my entire life, and I feel like my entire history of drug usage has only been to discover this mindset.

BUT I take Wellbutrin daily (highly recommended for everyone, even if you're healthy) so there might be a reaction going on here. For instance, I don't really have a crash, nor any desire to redose.

I dissolve 3g of Methylone in 1L of water. This means 1/2 a cup of this solution comes out to about 350mg of Methylone. I take a little less than 1/2 a cup (about 280mg.) update: 3/2 - my typical dose nowadays is 350mg.

Within 15 minutes (empty stomach) I feel a tingling and then the euphoria washes over me. The first few minutes are overwhelming joy. It feels like all my anxiety washes away and that's really all that happens but this description doesn't do the feeling any justice. The bliss hits me like a truck, or rather, like an 18 wheeler was dropped on me from outer space.

I feel normal. Too normal. As if I've been optimized to run at my peak. I become talkative and witty. My emotional intelligence goes through the roof, almost matching my regular IQ (that's what I mean by "[running] at my peak.") I feel like I can access stored information instantly. I feel so clean and healthy that the thought of redosing never occurs to me. There's a strong urge to get to know people and a confusion when people put up social inhibitions and a feeling of ridiculousness toward social and emotional barriers, stereotypes and general hatred.

The negative effects: MAJOR dry mouth. Constant need to chew something. Celery or baby carrots are great for this. Sometimes very loud music (like in a club) can become overwhelming but this is only an issue for 10 mins when the drug is coming on. update 3/2: this no longer happens.

Then the feeling wears off and I feel tired, especially physically drained with some minor muscle aches. My jaw aches from the chewing (I keep gum with me) and I get insomnia. That's about it. After I do get some sleep, I wake up feeling fantastic. update 3/2: the jaw aches and insomnia are not very pronounced since I posted this.

I take a multivitamin and a lot of vitamin C before and after the methylone.

Another effect is that I chain smoke cigarettes and I notice the harshness in my throat the next day. I also keep smoking weed but I rarely feel as high as I do when I smoke while sober. I feel much more creative and things become funnier. This happens if I smoke weed while tripping on any drug usually.

Wellbutrin (I take 150mg XL daily) blocks the reuptake of dopamine and norepinephrine and to a small extent serotonin. This might be why I don't have much of a crash from methylone. I also feel like the drug lasts longer than usual (my typical dose above lasts 3-4 hours before I begin coming down.) update: the duration of the drug has significantly been reduced after a few months of not-too-frequent usage.

I feel life isn't worth living if I'm not in this mindset. For somebody like me who's mentally ill (depression, anxiety) and has to live at 10% of their capacity everyday, there's a deep anger inside me that there are people who feel good like this everyday and people like me are stuck going from med to med trying to feel every 1/2 as good as I should. This is why I feel psychologically addicted to this drug. I don't use it often (maybe 3 times a month though it's becoming more frequent, in waves) but it's always on my mind, not unlike tobacco. I look forward to the methylone more than I do to the actual event for instance.

I'd like to note that awhile back I was taking Zoloft and when I upped my dose to 150mg a day, I felt almost exactly like I do on methylone but with some nausea and stomach issues which caused me to stop taking it. But it's worth noting that SSRIs do feel like MDMA for many people (google it.)

Just sharing my experience!
 
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Trust me you're not in any serious trouble at the moment, there are plenty of people who were taking this every other day.
 
I feel life isn't worth living if I'm not in this mindset. For somebody like me who's mentally ill (depression, anxiety) and has to live at 10% of their capacity everyday, there's a deep anger inside me that there are people who feel good like this everyday and people like me are stuck going from med to med trying to feel every 1/2 as good as I should. This is why I feel psychologically addicted to this drug. I don't use it often (maybe once a month for a party) but it's always on my mind, not unlike tobacco. I look forward to the methylone more than I do to the actual party for instance.

Being in a similar position myself I understand what you are saying but you need to be careful, it is this mental state that WILL get you chronically addicited to various drugs and make it WORSE.

I found many miracle drugs, I did the weekend warrior thing and then started using everyday, the drug stopped working, I needed it to feel normal and it made my life much worse. This has happened with multiple drugs and you need to be very careful about it, they will stop working and you will get addicted no matter how smart you are, your brain is wired for addiction due to your low natural endorphins levels.

It is unfair but that is life.
 
Can we please move this to the Psychedelic Drugs forum?

Done - :)

Trust me you're not in any serious trouble at the moment, there are plenty of people who were taking this every other day.

Thats a pretty stupid thing to say if Im being honest - read the post, they are all ready in trouble and have what could be the starting of an addiction.
 
im a fan of methylone too, but trust me, even though you feel wonderful during the peak, it is just that, a drug... using it more and more will just lead to it being a little bit more ineffective each time, and you may end up losing the magic.

also remember that methylone is still pretty unknown to the medical community so it might have serious side effects in the long run. i would proceed with caution in regards to daily use (i would not recommend it)

i also think you might benefit from other forms of treatment for your anxiety. i know using a drug to get there is an appealing cheat, but really a drug is not supposed to be the baseline for life. if you feel unhappy and anxious without them or on your regular treatment then perhaps you should first seek better treatment, the one offered by professionals. im not saying you suffer from idontknow what, just my 2c.

i see drugs as little treats that life give us, or little gateways to other mindspaces. though being there is wonderful, real life is still waiting for me. and as much as i love tripping, i would never give up my real world.

keep safe
 
I'm in a similar spot right now with opiates. I've had chronic troubles in the past but right now I've been sporadically using them. I think about it CONSTANTLY though. They're just like a perfect key that fits inside my head and solves all my insecurities and downfalls. I'm not afraid of what's next, I'm motivated. It's just too damn perfect. It's even worse because I've felt like that before sober. I was clean for almost 6 months after a suboxone/klonopin binge that landed me in treatment and everything was great. I started smoking weed and tripping and things were still great. Then my dumbass talked myself into thinking other shit would be ok (morphine/heroin cocaine etc). Not at all.
 
Done - :)



Thats a pretty stupid thing to say if Im being honest - read the post, they are all ready in trouble and have what could be the starting of an addiction.

i was just trying to be reassuring. With psychological addictions I think personally for me the best cure is to be able to relax and take my mind off it. That's all I wanted to do!
 
What I would do in your shoes, and I've been in them many times before like most here, is find something else to do. Maybe it is another type of drug, but maybe it is just another activity that would engage you while not putting you in a situation where you feel the need to dose on methylone to feel alright. What I do is hike. I find a trail in a trail guide that says it will take 4 or so hours to complete, bring some water and maybe a lunch...the exercise is great for anxiety, and being around nature always raises my mood and relaxes me as well. Plus being out away from my usual cues for a few hours helps reduce the constant re-dosing behavior. Usually the first mile or so is a pain in the ass to get myself going, but as soon as I am, the rest is just in a groove. It really does help a lot, but you gotta give a shot. Just thought I would share what works for me...
 
I used the disinhibition that methylone brings about to resolve some knots in relationships with people in my life that arose out of my very reserved stiff upper lip attitude.
There is the age old method of drinking heavily and spilling your guts right at the right level of intoxication. But the people you talk to do not tend to take you seriously when your speech is slurred and you puke on their shoes before going in an alcohol induced stupor. Methylone seemed to be a better alternative for this kind of thing.

But you know methylone is no magical wand, everything it allows you to do is already there, the compound just draws it out.

With this in mind I forced myself to lead some pretty interesting conversations. Played a little game: What would I say right now If I'd be on a dose of M1? Do I dare uttering it? This is an awesome game to play while sober. Quite thrilling. Sometimes I don't have the stomach to take the plunge, but at other times I watch myself saying things almost painfully embarassing. It's hit or miss but most times I get comparable results to what would happen during an M1 session.

Try it, it get's easier over time (sadly this also means that the exhilarating adrenaline rush you'll get the first few times will wane). I'm pretty good at it by now, don't feel the need to use M1 as a crutch anymore, which allows me to enjoy the drug much more when I occasionally indulge.
 
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With this in mind I forced myself to lead some pretty interesting conversations. Played a little game: What would I say right now If I'd be on a dose of M1? Do I dare uttering it? This is an awesome game to play while sober. Quite thrilling. Sometimes I don't have the stomach to take the plunge, but at other times I watch myself saying things almost painfully embarassing. It's hit or miss but most times I get comparable results to what would happen during an M1 session.

Try it, it get's easier over time (sadly this also means that the exhilarating adrenaline rush you'll get the first few times will wane). I'm pretty good at it by now, don't feel the need to use M1 as a crutch anymore, which allows me to enjoy the drug much more when I occasionally indulge.

Great advice!
 
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