Im currently trying to kick this habit because im concerned as to the long term results of it. The hardest part for me quitting is its made my life better in almost every aspect other than financially. I lost about 25-30 lbs, im always in a good mood(sober or not), i have no hangover at all, and no noticeable side effects other than not sleeping as much.
To give you a little more about the addiction....I had picked up 6oz of very close to pure methylone to try to make a quick buck. Well the only person i knew to move it got arrested, so i got stuck with all of that and nowhere to unload it. I controlled myself for a while, but eventually just having that much lying around the house got to me. I started doing a couple small bumps in the evening after work just to wind down, progressing to decent sized lines. I kept telling myself I would never do it at work, if i start to do it at work then its all over for me. Well eventually i got called in early to work one day and i couldn't wake up, so guess what I did.
So now im into what I would call the addiction stage. Id wake up about an hour before work every day, go through the normal waking up routine, then go to the bathroom and crush up like 200mg and snort it. On my break I would come home and do it again. Mind you all of this is being done without my wife even knowing. It was getting to the point where i was doing what I think was at least a gram every day, now i dont know for sure bc i just had 1 big bag i would grab from and i would never weigh it out but im pretty good with eyeballing quantity.
It wasnt untill 2 months in that i had my first real side effect. I went down to see my parents for Easter. I have enough respect not to bring that into their home, so i was without it for 3 days. During those 3 days i could barely stay awake and i kept getting very painful stabbing pains in my head and a high pitched ringing. These would cause me almost to black out from the pain and pressure in my head but I never actually did. After I got back home i picked right back where I left off, and then the head problems went away too.
Now currently im probably doing between 1-2g a day, all insufflation, and all still without my wife, friends, coworkers, or boss knowing anything about it. I dose before work, on my break, and then half way through the 2nd half of my shift, in the bathroom. Then I come home and do 200mg lines once every few hours. I sleep every other night and on the nights im not sleeping im sure you can guess what I am doing.
Through the whole course of this experience these are the negative side effects I have noticed. My right pinky would occasionally go numb, my wife told me i would have muscle spasms while sleeping, i would sweat non stop at work to the point i would use changing my clothes as the excuse to go home on my break, bad dry mouth regardless of how much water i would drink, those headaches i mentioned i had at my parents, and extreme weight loss(4 pants sizes in a month)...oh and i can make myself trip now. As long as the lights are dim i can make my eyes unfocus for a second and then when they come back into focus everything looks as if im on 2c-i. Just as easy as i turn that on i can shut it off too.
Now i feel i can quit this, bc I have quit other addictions cold turkey, but now its just finding the motivation. Other than the headaches there have not been anything that caused me concern about my neurological health. I still have maybe 2oz left and i know when thats gone ill be fine to quit, but I dont want to keep doing it, especially bc sometimes ill feel balsy and do a whole gram in 1 line...I know that isnt good for me. I also feel bad deceiving my wife by doing this behind her back, especially since shes pregnant now too.
Anyone have any suggestions on ways to quit? Im a functioning addict and am able to conceal the addiction from people but i push it to the extreme if its infront of me, allthough if i dont have it it doesnt bother me and im not going to go searching for it. Flushing it isnt an option for me, i cant stand the thought of flushing that much money down the toilet.
I really appreciate you taking the time to read this.
To give you a little more about the addiction....I had picked up 6oz of very close to pure methylone to try to make a quick buck. Well the only person i knew to move it got arrested, so i got stuck with all of that and nowhere to unload it. I controlled myself for a while, but eventually just having that much lying around the house got to me. I started doing a couple small bumps in the evening after work just to wind down, progressing to decent sized lines. I kept telling myself I would never do it at work, if i start to do it at work then its all over for me. Well eventually i got called in early to work one day and i couldn't wake up, so guess what I did.
So now im into what I would call the addiction stage. Id wake up about an hour before work every day, go through the normal waking up routine, then go to the bathroom and crush up like 200mg and snort it. On my break I would come home and do it again. Mind you all of this is being done without my wife even knowing. It was getting to the point where i was doing what I think was at least a gram every day, now i dont know for sure bc i just had 1 big bag i would grab from and i would never weigh it out but im pretty good with eyeballing quantity.
It wasnt untill 2 months in that i had my first real side effect. I went down to see my parents for Easter. I have enough respect not to bring that into their home, so i was without it for 3 days. During those 3 days i could barely stay awake and i kept getting very painful stabbing pains in my head and a high pitched ringing. These would cause me almost to black out from the pain and pressure in my head but I never actually did. After I got back home i picked right back where I left off, and then the head problems went away too.
Now currently im probably doing between 1-2g a day, all insufflation, and all still without my wife, friends, coworkers, or boss knowing anything about it. I dose before work, on my break, and then half way through the 2nd half of my shift, in the bathroom. Then I come home and do 200mg lines once every few hours. I sleep every other night and on the nights im not sleeping im sure you can guess what I am doing.
Through the whole course of this experience these are the negative side effects I have noticed. My right pinky would occasionally go numb, my wife told me i would have muscle spasms while sleeping, i would sweat non stop at work to the point i would use changing my clothes as the excuse to go home on my break, bad dry mouth regardless of how much water i would drink, those headaches i mentioned i had at my parents, and extreme weight loss(4 pants sizes in a month)...oh and i can make myself trip now. As long as the lights are dim i can make my eyes unfocus for a second and then when they come back into focus everything looks as if im on 2c-i. Just as easy as i turn that on i can shut it off too.
Now i feel i can quit this, bc I have quit other addictions cold turkey, but now its just finding the motivation. Other than the headaches there have not been anything that caused me concern about my neurological health. I still have maybe 2oz left and i know when thats gone ill be fine to quit, but I dont want to keep doing it, especially bc sometimes ill feel balsy and do a whole gram in 1 line...I know that isnt good for me. I also feel bad deceiving my wife by doing this behind her back, especially since shes pregnant now too.
Anyone have any suggestions on ways to quit? Im a functioning addict and am able to conceal the addiction from people but i push it to the extreme if its infront of me, allthough if i dont have it it doesnt bother me and im not going to go searching for it. Flushing it isnt an option for me, i cant stand the thought of flushing that much money down the toilet.
I really appreciate you taking the time to read this.
