Vastness
Bluelight Crew
As the title says - I just don't like MXE that much. Am I alone in this?
Obviously everyone is different and everyone reacts differently to different drugs. However I am posting this thread because it is a little strange to me that I would react to MXE in the way I do.
For a start, I really do like Ketamine. I have read from many sources that MXE and K are quite similar, but in my experience this is just not the case at all.
While Ketamine is emotionally numbing to the point of euphoria, I have found MXE to be quite anxiogenic on several occasions. I have always done it in a very safe and secure setting but nonetheless I start to worry about the daunting prospect of totally normal things, such as going outside, social interaction and the like (I never actually need to do any of these things on MXE and have never tried until back to baseline anyway). I can also feel myself revisiting thoughts about my life in a distinctly and deliberately negative light - honestly my life is not that bad at the moment and I do recognise this, but nonetheless it is like MXE dredges up that little voice of uncertainty and worry in the back of my head, and shines a harsh spotlight on negative and unnecessary thought loops that I thought I had banished from my mind.
For this reason, perhaps, I do not find MXE particularly sedating or relaxing. In fact, I find it overly stimulating - after doing MXE it is a very common experience for me that even when I am very much back to baseline in every other way, it massively inhibits sleep - I just lie there feeling, to be honest, pretty tweaked out like I had just done a bunch of cocaine, feeling my heart race and reflecting on the fact that I would probably have had a better evening with another drug (or even no drugs at all... lol).
My girlfriend has a totally opposite experience which correlates much better with the experiences that I have read about. She finds it very enjoyable, anxiolytic, sedating and everything that you would really expect from a dissociative supposedly quite similar to Ketamine.
I have had probably just 1 good experience doing MXE, and this was combining it with a lot of K.
In any case my question, firstly, is does anyone feel similarly about MXE to me? And secondly, can anyone shed some light on why there should be such differences in my experience from everyone else?
To be honest despite my experiences so far MXE still intrigues me and I can see myself doing it again, although perhaps only with some K on hand this time. I do feel, in a way (and this may be totally nonsensical psychonautic nonsense) that perhaps there is something I need to learn from it which has prevented me from fully enjoying it so far. Comments on the foolishness or sense of thinking in this way are also welcome.
Obviously everyone is different and everyone reacts differently to different drugs. However I am posting this thread because it is a little strange to me that I would react to MXE in the way I do.
For a start, I really do like Ketamine. I have read from many sources that MXE and K are quite similar, but in my experience this is just not the case at all.
While Ketamine is emotionally numbing to the point of euphoria, I have found MXE to be quite anxiogenic on several occasions. I have always done it in a very safe and secure setting but nonetheless I start to worry about the daunting prospect of totally normal things, such as going outside, social interaction and the like (I never actually need to do any of these things on MXE and have never tried until back to baseline anyway). I can also feel myself revisiting thoughts about my life in a distinctly and deliberately negative light - honestly my life is not that bad at the moment and I do recognise this, but nonetheless it is like MXE dredges up that little voice of uncertainty and worry in the back of my head, and shines a harsh spotlight on negative and unnecessary thought loops that I thought I had banished from my mind.
For this reason, perhaps, I do not find MXE particularly sedating or relaxing. In fact, I find it overly stimulating - after doing MXE it is a very common experience for me that even when I am very much back to baseline in every other way, it massively inhibits sleep - I just lie there feeling, to be honest, pretty tweaked out like I had just done a bunch of cocaine, feeling my heart race and reflecting on the fact that I would probably have had a better evening with another drug (or even no drugs at all... lol).
My girlfriend has a totally opposite experience which correlates much better with the experiences that I have read about. She finds it very enjoyable, anxiolytic, sedating and everything that you would really expect from a dissociative supposedly quite similar to Ketamine.
I have had probably just 1 good experience doing MXE, and this was combining it with a lot of K.
In any case my question, firstly, is does anyone feel similarly about MXE to me? And secondly, can anyone shed some light on why there should be such differences in my experience from everyone else?
To be honest despite my experiences so far MXE still intrigues me and I can see myself doing it again, although perhaps only with some K on hand this time. I do feel, in a way (and this may be totally nonsensical psychonautic nonsense) that perhaps there is something I need to learn from it which has prevented me from fully enjoying it so far. Comments on the foolishness or sense of thinking in this way are also welcome.
