So I took in my first breath of meth into my lungs last night;
I could feel the chemical, clear smoke being sucked inside of me;
I tried to breathe it in like I would smoking marijuana; like a bong hit
but never the less I felt a rush of something shortly after;
a rush of excitement, happiness. it is all coming in right at once, the centre of my being.
I quickly get the hang of it, and have taken 3-4 more deep breaths of this smoke. It is a completely different technique to smoking anything else, the long, slow drags.
I can feel it slowly edging all through my body, controlling everything physical and creeping its way into my mental state. I am overwhelmed; but not, by a complete change of mindset.
Feels extremely similiar other to any other stimulant I have tried... (Countless amphetamines, psychoamphetamines, RC drugs etc)
Extremely similar but on a completely different end of the spectrum,
I am not my normal sober self, i am not even my normal manic sober self. more than that
but I am still extremely clear headed
I am not completely munted; in another world
I am more sober than I have ever been in my life.
In fact I am in the exact same world, the same world just multiplied one thousand times over and over. Hyper reality. The world exactly not as it always is; but as it always should be....and for a short time that is the way it is going to be. No matter the enviroment around me.
This is evident by being surrounded by people who have taken a different kind of stimulant; MDMA. They are not in the same world anymore, but in a completely different one. A great one I'm sure, and in my state I do not mind at all being surrounded by these people; transported to a completely different place than I. It is amusing, and I feel complacent knowing exactly how they are feeling.
But I am sober,
Just sober a thousand times over,
more powerful and everything I want to and strive be.
The night goes on, and more methamphetamine is consumed, some snorted and some smoked. Time blurs, I'm really not sure or aware of the time at any point.
I see people I haven't seen in a long time; they are slightly mesmerized by my state but are accustomed to my usually extremely(sometimes worrying) erratic activities. But it does not bother me one bit.
The night turns into morning and morning turns into day, I am now unclear of any events corresponding with any time. I have now consumed clonazapam to ease the oncoming negative effects of meth and lack of sleep; driven around the city and fallen into a mini sleep inside of a servo station.
Over this peroid I consume 8mg of Clonaz, with absolutely no tolerance. I feel stimulated all over, but still completley sedated. (This was WAY, way too much clonaz to take...I was in a state and I'm not sure why I took so many).
Many things happened but I am ultimately unsure of what and or when, it is a blur. I blacked out for unknown peroid of time (1-2 days?).
I know I somehow made it back into my own bed the next night, having driven all over town (Perhaps 1+hour) in my current state. Extremely dangerous and not recommended.
My head hits the pillow, my eyes shut and I drift off into the middle of nowhere; the abyss.
But as soon as I arrive there I am torn back to earth by the blistering sun shining into my bare face, 15 hours later.
Dehydrated and confused,
The memories come flooding back, but only piece by piece.
I realize out I am down by around 750 dollars, I made a big investment I have no memory off. I have important missed calls; and texts. Things I have neglected.
A girl I visited at some point has claimed I have sexually assaulted her,
something I have no memory of and am sure (And reassured by witnesses) did not happen.
I am unsure of the day and the horrible state my body and self is in...I look like absolute death; complete contrast to the beauty I thought I was last night. (Or the night before ? I do not know ?)
I think about all the things that need to be done,, completed, finished and started once again, in my little pyschostimulated world. What did I do ?
I have so many things to sort through right now, I am going to have fully replenish myself but there is one thing that I know will help....
Breathing is hard for me right now.
I reflect on the nature of this drug, and it is unlike any other stimulant I have tried. I have abused amphetamines before, with almost similar results, but this is a differen't ballgame. I have eaten way too many dexies for my own good, but it seems that one extra methyl group changes everything.
It was a strange experience; I almost feel hypnotized.
I think I just entered into a world I would have been better off staying away from.
How do I stay away?
I hope you enjoyed my story.
I could feel the chemical, clear smoke being sucked inside of me;
I tried to breathe it in like I would smoking marijuana; like a bong hit
but never the less I felt a rush of something shortly after;
a rush of excitement, happiness. it is all coming in right at once, the centre of my being.
I quickly get the hang of it, and have taken 3-4 more deep breaths of this smoke. It is a completely different technique to smoking anything else, the long, slow drags.
I can feel it slowly edging all through my body, controlling everything physical and creeping its way into my mental state. I am overwhelmed; but not, by a complete change of mindset.
Feels extremely similiar other to any other stimulant I have tried... (Countless amphetamines, psychoamphetamines, RC drugs etc)
Extremely similar but on a completely different end of the spectrum,
I am not my normal sober self, i am not even my normal manic sober self. more than that
but I am still extremely clear headed
I am not completely munted; in another world
I am more sober than I have ever been in my life.
In fact I am in the exact same world, the same world just multiplied one thousand times over and over. Hyper reality. The world exactly not as it always is; but as it always should be....and for a short time that is the way it is going to be. No matter the enviroment around me.
This is evident by being surrounded by people who have taken a different kind of stimulant; MDMA. They are not in the same world anymore, but in a completely different one. A great one I'm sure, and in my state I do not mind at all being surrounded by these people; transported to a completely different place than I. It is amusing, and I feel complacent knowing exactly how they are feeling.
But I am sober,
Just sober a thousand times over,
more powerful and everything I want to and strive be.
The night goes on, and more methamphetamine is consumed, some snorted and some smoked. Time blurs, I'm really not sure or aware of the time at any point.
I see people I haven't seen in a long time; they are slightly mesmerized by my state but are accustomed to my usually extremely(sometimes worrying) erratic activities. But it does not bother me one bit.
The night turns into morning and morning turns into day, I am now unclear of any events corresponding with any time. I have now consumed clonazapam to ease the oncoming negative effects of meth and lack of sleep; driven around the city and fallen into a mini sleep inside of a servo station.
Over this peroid I consume 8mg of Clonaz, with absolutely no tolerance. I feel stimulated all over, but still completley sedated. (This was WAY, way too much clonaz to take...I was in a state and I'm not sure why I took so many).
Many things happened but I am ultimately unsure of what and or when, it is a blur. I blacked out for unknown peroid of time (1-2 days?).
I know I somehow made it back into my own bed the next night, having driven all over town (Perhaps 1+hour) in my current state. Extremely dangerous and not recommended.
My head hits the pillow, my eyes shut and I drift off into the middle of nowhere; the abyss.
But as soon as I arrive there I am torn back to earth by the blistering sun shining into my bare face, 15 hours later.
Dehydrated and confused,
The memories come flooding back, but only piece by piece.
I realize out I am down by around 750 dollars, I made a big investment I have no memory off. I have important missed calls; and texts. Things I have neglected.
A girl I visited at some point has claimed I have sexually assaulted her,
something I have no memory of and am sure (And reassured by witnesses) did not happen.
I am unsure of the day and the horrible state my body and self is in...I look like absolute death; complete contrast to the beauty I thought I was last night. (Or the night before ? I do not know ?)
I think about all the things that need to be done,, completed, finished and started once again, in my little pyschostimulated world. What did I do ?
I have so many things to sort through right now, I am going to have fully replenish myself but there is one thing that I know will help....
Breathing is hard for me right now.
I reflect on the nature of this drug, and it is unlike any other stimulant I have tried. I have abused amphetamines before, with almost similar results, but this is a differen't ballgame. I have eaten way too many dexies for my own good, but it seems that one extra methyl group changes everything.
It was a strange experience; I almost feel hypnotized.
I think I just entered into a world I would have been better off staying away from.
How do I stay away?
I hope you enjoyed my story.
