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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

(Methamphetamine [IV/oral]) Junky Fiend - 262,992 Hours: Diagnosis; and, Thrombosis

Looking forward to reading your next installment, ForEverAfter. I hope all is improving for ya.
Also, if you get a chance, would you mind answering some of these questions?

best,
sidestyle

Hey FEA,

I am a writer as well and was wondering if you had any suggestions for other writers. As in: what have been the best practices that helped you improve and find your writing style? Did you read particularly more, did you write on a particular schedule? Did you feel like the hermitage was necessary?

Thanks in advance. I really enjoyed reading this trip report, especially since I have just recently been dabbling on and off with meth use (using 1-3 times a week with breaks in between). Part of me has begun to get the impression that there is no real meth experience without binging. I want to believe that it can be used similar to how coffee or nicotine are used, but after reading your report I feel like for intellectuals like you and myself, the road of meth always leads to the same place. What do you think? I would definitely be interested in part 3 of this report if you have it or are thinking of writing it.

Currently finishing my degree in creative writing and am almost done with a fiction novel. However, I aspire to reach the level of description, introspection, and detail you have in your writing.

All the best my fellow man. Keep on truckin and keep on loving yourself. Because at the end of the day, ourselves is all we've got. Thanks for contributing to the collective consciousness of the internet, and by extension, to my consciousness. It was a gritty but worthwhile ride.

P.S. What is your avatar from? I feel like I've seen it somewhere before but I don't know where.
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The more you write down today, the easier it will be to follow. Given sufficient practice, the pilot light should become solid. turn the heat dial up, accordingly. clean-up files. keep writing, every day. don't let anything stop you. I tend to read more when I'm not writing. Don't read very much at all, these days.

The hermitage was more part of my spiritual path, but - yes - I do think it was important. Now that I'm living with people again there are more distractions to deal with, socially, when attempting to write or meditate or something like that. I need to set up an office area, somewhere in the master bedroom. I need a stable, comfortable place to work.

I made the current avatar with Microsoft Paint, from an old photo I took of myself with a red darkroom bulb in my mouth.

Never written a schedule. I like to sit down at night - for six to eight hours, undisturbed - and write. Don't need loud music to be playing when I'm working. In fact, I prefer to type in silence. Nothing to distract me from what I'm writing, except the sound of chattering keys. There's no shortcut to becoming a great writer overnight. Like everything else, it requires a considerable amount of effort. You will only be as good as you allow yourself to be.

Psychedelic drugs and amphetamines have inspired countless artworks throughout modern history and, of course, altered the course of countless lives. I am experiencing amphetamine psychosis. Have been hallucinating more than usual, for the past 4 or 5 days: "Usual", meaning HPPD; or, whatever it is that allegedly causes me to hallucinate twenty-four seven.

I made the avatar picture from of an old photo of me with a red-tinted darkroom bulb stuffed in my mouth.

Amphetamines can be used, in moderation. To deny that responsible use is possible, and/or otherwise exaggerate the dangers involved, you're justifying irresponsible use. this just enables the rest of us not to bother trying. As even a potential outcome, is a bit of a worry. Unfortunately, meth is so addictive that most users struggle to...
 
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Charles Bukowski of the speed world with a Kafkaesque lonely dread. I like the solitude in your writing and internal dialogue. When you listed your possible medical symptoms it reminded me of Chuck Palahniuk.

An option would be to get more fucked up, write more narrative like this and see if you can make money off it. If you want?

You're the type of character I would like to meet, interesting.


Good luck.

'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. Who was it that said this? ;)
 
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You are my new favorite anti hero. Your story shocked, saddened, but ultimately amazed me. I've always been more of an opiate man, but I can completely understand the isolation and loss. My ex took my kid in the middle of the night. Haven't talked to either in three years...I feel your pain....well not exactly yours but the pain I feel I'm projecting on your situation with ur wife. Thank you once again. You truly are an amazing writer.
 
interesting story, among the better hard drug binges i've read.
you're quite a good stream of consciousness writer, i wonder how you are with tying things together, planning, foreshadowing and such. i'd read and pay for something youy wrote.

well done
 
OMG! What a great writer you are! I am no stranger to Alcohol or Meth, but I have never used needles to inject drugs I must say. Your writing is amazing. To say the least! Here in Colorado North America- We are now going crazy over getting Marijuana Legalized for the first time since 1929 and the infamous Reefer Crazy Days! I feel uncomfortable after a simple binge of Meth use by snorting/smoking for 36 hours and drinking on the side. I only use meth once every month or so during a binge. I need to cool down my drinking binges. 3 days or so away from the sauce and I am ready to start drinking again! Your level of meth use scares me- as I'm sure it does almost everyone else! I consider my veins to be virgin territory. No one enters my veins but my digestive tract! It Has First Rights!!
 
As far as I can tell, this post was meant to draw people in and express concern for your obviously dangerous and reckless behavior, then once they do you can continue to express your narcissism by telling them how little they know and how there's actually really no problem at all and that you are actually invincible and all that. If you're happy living like the way you expressed in your post, then by all means.....but I seriously doubt you are no matter how many times you say otherwise. Regardless, I hope you can gain some other perspectives on your use from these posts, that will at the very least, make you think and consider other points of view.
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That was my first reaction to your first post, as of late it sounds as if you're trying to clean up your act which is commendable, I do wish you the best of luck. You are indeed an extremely talented writer and I'd like to see more of your writing, even though some of it and the subsequent responses rubbed me the wrong way.
 
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ForEverAfter said:
The more you write down today, the easier it will be to follow. Given sufficient practice, the pilot light should become solid. turn the heat dial up, accordingly. clean-up files. keep writing, every day. don't let anything stop you. I tend to read more when I'm not writing. Don't read very much at all, these days.

The hermitage was more part of my spiritual path, but - yes - I do think it was important. Now that I'm living with people again there are more distractions to deal with, socially, when attempting to write or meditate or something like that. I need to set up an office area, somewhere in the master bedroom. I need a stable, comfortable place to work.

I made the current avatar with Microsoft Paint, from an old photo I took of myself with a red darkroom bulb in my mouth.

Never written a schedule. I like to sit down at night - for six to eight hours, undisturbed - and write. Don't need loud music to be playing when I'm working. In fact, I prefer to type in silence. Nothing to distract me from what I'm writing, except the sound of chattering keys. There's no shortcut to becoming a great writer overnight. Like everything else, it requires a considerable amount of effort. You will only be as good as you allow yourself to be.

Psychedelic drugs and amphetamines have inspired countless artworks throughout modern history and, of course, altered the course of countless lives. I am experiencing amphetamine psychosis. Have been hallucinating more than usual, for the past 4 or 5 days: "Usual", meaning HPPD; or, whatever it is that allegedly causes me to hallucinate twenty-four seven.

I made the avatar picture from of an old photo of me with a red-tinted darkroom bulb stuffed in my mouth.

Amphetamines can be used, in moderation. To deny that responsible use is possible, and/or otherwise exaggerate the dangers involved, you're justifying irresponsible use. this just enables the rest of us not to bother trying. As even a potential outcome, is a bit of a worry. Unfortunately, meth is so addictive that most users struggle to...
Click to expand...

Thank you very much for responding, I appreciate you taking the time to share that info.
I am wishing you all the best and looking forward to reading the end of your story.
 
I joined this forum just to say how moved I am by your stories. They sound like the story of someone I know who isn't here to tell the story for themself.. If you ever get around to getting anything more down on paper, please post it =)
 
I'm digging through old TRs and man, this struck a chord with me. Not sure how I missed this one at the time, but I wish I had read it back in '12 and actually absorbed the message.
 
Just because he's a talented wtiter doesn't give him the right to abuse his body and mind with relentless intravenous methamphetamine shots.

Respect yout body, man
Respect the meth.

I bet you look like shit and everybody you come into contact with at the university suspect something's seriously wrong with you. And they're right.

Get some help. If you don't need any help yourself by ditching the needle hy and only doing your meth in a one time session, waiting until you have come down and slept before redosing. Fot example, snort, plug, vape, or swallow 500 mg of shards and DO NOT redose. You will come down in 2 or 3 days. Then take some haldol, benzos, or benadryl, go to sleep, and repeat.

Seriously, why do you hate yourself this much. Give yourself a break.
 
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