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methamphetamine (IV) - Experienced - psychotic episode (trip)

unsp0

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 24, 2005
Messages
18
Location
Fort Smith, Arkansas
I am recently getting back to my hometown after about 2 years being in the military. When I was here I had done my share of meth, along with an assortment of other drugs, so I naturally missed being away from them for so long. After getting my contacts and friends together we started what would become a 7 day ordeal of nonstop smoking/shooting of meth. I know I should have gotten sleep and eaten in the middle of all this but it's easy to forget these things.

I was at my friends house and I had just gotten a ball. I told my friend to load 4 up for each of us with half the ball. I wasn't satisfied with what I had taken, even though it was a tremendous amount and decided to load another in my friends bathroom. I was already noticeably paranoid about what was being said in other rooms as I always think people are talking about me or plotting when I get deep into the zone. I get this hit of about 30cc from my friend and he said "I don't know what you need man, but that's gonna blow your mind". I accepted and continued to shoot this into my right arm. I remember the exact moment that felt like a blur had come over my vision. I was no longer myself.

I felt an instant revelation that this whole set up of being at my friends house was a drug bust. There was no questions asked that I had figured out the truth about what was going on. I sat in front my my two friends who were playing chess at the time and asked them both questions like "so when did you get caught for drugs?" trying to prod them and let them know I was onto them. I was hearing them say things such as "your surrounded" as if they were trying to let me know without actually telling me. This was actually happening, though he was talking about chess moves. I said I'd like to go for a cigerette, though I don't smoke, just to see outside and look for any suspicious cars. Of course everything I saw was cop oriented in some way. The abandoned apartment across the street was a perfect lookout. A huge garbage bin was where I swear I saw a team ready to come raid, and actually hearing footsteps around the house of assembling police teams. This Was Really Happening. I looked at each of them with disgust in how they could do this to me, and they both looked blankly as if acknowledging I was right. I almost took off on foot weating nothing but socks. Not getting into specifics, I readied myself for the imminent and decided we should all go in and get this over with. Getting inside my friends room I was catching on to little things such as the computer he had was connected to the next room to communicate with the "troopers" there. I started making all kinds of remarks regarding how slow these troopers were in arresting me and I was getting irritated.

I was very calm throughout all of this, and very aware of my surroundings, yet I had flipped a fucking switch and now was in mental hell. I looked at my friend and he said "listen, their not gonna come unless you be quiet for 30 seconds". He says he never said this but this is my world. I stayed quiet for 30 seconds at a time and could hear the team assemble at the ready outside but at the end of every 30 seconds I would fuck with them and start talking, so I would actually hear them start moaning and groaning about me not staying quiet. I built a relationship with these what turned out to be team of girls on the computer in the next room. I laid out on my friends mattress with my hands on my head and said I was ready. This turned out to be the biggest trip of all. With all eyes closed I would have the most intense audio hallucination I think the human mind could reach.

I heard the front door being broken in. I heard every room being swept and cleared. Yet they couldn't come into this room until I was completely motionless and silent. This is where it gets fun. They tell me I am being scanned, and that the only way they can be sure I am not going to attack them is if I comply. No motion, No sound. The movie "The Descent" is playing in the background, and apparently they've manipulated the movie to speak directly to me from the next room. This was full visual/audio hallucination and I was fucking complying with these things. This team of girls would direct me to stay still and I would, but when I moved I would hear this movie scream at me and they would tell me to start over. I tried to stay so still with my hands behind my back my fingers were turning blue.

This went on for hours as my friends watched and halfway scared at what was happening to me. I tried every position possibly, sometimes with my face pushed firmly into the mattress almost to the point of suffocation. It was almost extraterrestrial what was happening, I can't even explain. I was feeling them scan my body to see if they could detect movement. These things weren't human. My friends weren't who they said they were. I felt them test me to see if I would attack if they came close. I physically felt one come and tap my shoulder to see if my fingers would move to defend myself. The "girls" in the other room developed a relationship with me being that they liked my attitude towards the whole situation I would hear them reshowing the tape of me figuring the scenario out. They would talk to me and try to walk me through the process.

They were finally talked into leaving by my friend who was outside the door, pleading they let me stay and that I had nothing to do with what they wanted. The girls said their goodbye's through the T.V. and I waited for silence. I sat up and looked around. As I slowly came back from all of this it was a state of utter disbelief as to what had happened. I only half trusted my friends that they weren't some fucking alien cops. The only thing that calmed me down was getting onto bluelight and looking up drug induced psychotic episodes. It explained it perfectly.

It's been 3 days since this experience and I still feel groggy and a little not there. I hope it goes away soon, I really thought I fried my brain permenantly with that. This is just a rough draft of what happened, I could only explain in person what I really went through. I gave away the rest of that dope and swore off of it from that point on. It was like a calling that said "if you do this shit again, we're not letting you go next time"..I hope it never happens again, but by far the best trip of my life due to the realism and the respect I have for what my mind is capable of now.
 
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Hmmn, no fun... I remember my one 'serious' case of dopamine psychosis (lasted ~36 hours, not nearly as intense as what you describe above) and it seems to just take a bit extra to push your brain over the edge at some point. In my case, it began similar to an LSD trip (heavy visuals, etc) but started looking more psychotic after a short period of time... luckily, I was smart enough to stop using, realized what it was & I slept through some of it.
 
Wow, crazy story. If you get a chance, could you please divide it into paragraphs, though... it's giving me a headache to read.

Also, please name your reports according to the guidelines we have posted at the top of the forum... it makes it easier for people who are searching for specific types of reports. here's the format:

Substance(s) used [dose optional] - Experience level with substance(s) - Creative title

I changed it for you. I assume your level of experience with meth is high, so I wrote "Experienced". Please let me know if that's wrong so I can change it.
 
Superb post.

I'm not the world's greatest reader (especially on a day when the pharmacy was closed and I couldn't get my ADD meds) but had a feeling I should struggle through that mountain of text. Glad I did.

You've certainly convinced me that meth isn't worth touching. I've pondered whether or not it'd suit me better than dexedrine but I am satisfied now. No meth, no - never, ever.
 
^ Quite honestly it can happen with dexedrine as well, although non-IV use is probably going to equate to a milder case. Any dopamine-boosting substance (in excess) can cause psychosis.
 
wow what were your friends doing during all of this? Im assuming they were twacked as well? That sounds scary my one bout with meth phycosis wasnt nearly as intense.
 
My friends were unusually silent, completely unlike them. This led me to believe they were feeling guilty for setting me up and just caused me to delve deeper into the psychosis. They were actually just confused and didn't know what to say come to find out.
 
lol yea I can relate. Just with a few adderalls and half a pill, at the end of the night I was convinced these two kids had stolen my keys and phone, and were trying to slyly figure out where my car was so they could hand the keys off to another member of this vast conspiracy to steal my car and drive it into mexico. I really believed these kids worked for some big mexican car theft ring, and that their scam was to get friendly with people high on E, pick pocket them during a massage, then get em away from the party, without a phone, keys, steal their shit. Everything they said was a clue, a signal of some sort, a piece of the puzzle that needed solving.

At the same time you believe this horrible thing, you're also so euphoric you don't mind at all. I thought it was awesome that I was in such a movie-like, dramatic situation. I was putting my arms around these presumed criminals about to jack me, exclaiming, "can you believe this! This is truly shakespearean you guys!" or some such craziness. I can only imagine how I seemed to them!

Good report.
 
nice story.. actually, it reminds me of a cannabis induced paranoia I had in a hostel in amsterdam after smoking some blueberry (I hadn't smoked for a while previously). I was already thinking that some of the guys sitting on a table were making a poll of most fucked up people in the bar. But when I went back to the dorm room (near the hostel bar, I could still hear the noise) to rest for a while I started having crazy audio hallucinations of a guy that got mad with them and started a fight.
 
"There was no questions asked that I had figured out the truth about what was going on."

As soon as I read that line I bursted out laughing, because I know that thinking on meth...lmfao.

Good read though
 
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