Just to expand on my iv/ smoking issue. Its the same shit. I'm not sure if its my tolerance or its just shit but today for eg: I slammed .3 mid .morning after a gold sleep. Little bit of a rush but nothing crazy, then: hmm feel pretty normal.
Put the other .1 in the other arm (was going to keep it for later), not expecting a rush this time, but not a big difference overall.
I can't be missing, I'm registering and don't have abbess's.
Smoking the same shit however gets me proper wired. Iv is a clean high for me (after the rush that happens from time to time).
I went somewhere else and had a .25 shot. No biggie, no rush
This is maybe almost 12 hours later. I did have a smoke in the arvo, .1 which was OK, bit wired and paranoid.
Somehow smoking gets me proper wired and iv just a rush then normal. The other night I had the biggest rush ever, quite scary, same shit, .3 Then, meh, where s my dopamine? Didn't used to happen that way...
If this is my tolerance after 6 weeks, then fuk I gotta get out now.
I have seen some terrible things lately, saw this person on g making moaning noises while dragging himself along the floor like a dog wipes its arse on the floor. Banging something over then changing direction and continuing until something else was knocked over. For hours.
A serious paranoid/ psychotic episode from someone, worst I have ever witnessed. To him, people were hiding behind things that are impossible to hide behind, like a box or a side table, and the paranoia switched to me: we were all In on something and he was our victim or something. No reasoning with this guy. Gave him his benzos to calm down which he did. Then he wanted more ice, which someone gave him and it started all over again.
My friends now are all drug related. Having people call me at 2am, desperate fiendish calls.
Always in debt. And now all my family knows, incl my SO, I'm being watched.
Truth is this shit has been a prob for me for years, but just never like this.
I'm watching it all cave in around me. I don't think the quality is what it used to be either. Like 8 or 9 years ago. Could be wrong tho, could be my tolerance.
Also, this drug taking side was my secret. Living 2 lives. I liked that in a way. But the 2 lives collided the other week when I saw someone from a different circle at a place we both shouldn't have been.
Fukn awkward. I won't say anything, but will they? This kinda shit, eventually your world's collide and then doors shut everywhere. Seen it happen to other people.
The way I take it, I eat, sleep, shower, mouth wash (which found out is carcinogenic), look after myself. Compared to on opiates, hmm well I was climbing the Opie ladder, that had to stop.
But hmm
I went from Opie paws to a daily ice habit. I can't help but think I have a weak mind.
I know this isn't the serious discussion thread. I'll leave it there. But has anyone here gone from daily use back to occasional? Or is it more like quitting and then occasionally relapsing...?
I don't want to do either: daily/ occasional.
OK, sleep.