Methamphetamine Discussion Thread 3.0

[smokedup]

You need strong friends/family around you.

I found counselling didnt work for me in my darkest periods of use when cash was flowing, but trying to recommit to friendships and family relations can really help you remember who you are and why life isnt all that bad in the grand scheme of things.

It sounds cheesy, and yes, meth is some addixtive shit, even still i have the odd dream sbout it.

 

[psytaco]

You have to stop the weekend binges so that the doctors can treat your depression and anxiety without anything interfering, otherwise you will never get better, your psychologist is right. Fuck meth, your health and happiness is more important, so why delay the process of getting better?

Yeah man. I agree and I also agree with my psychologist. Hence, why I was asking about recommendations for addiction services.

Anyway, I have an assessment at Regen in Melbourne. Anyone have experience with these guys? It was kind of funny as I asked them if they wanted me to give up codeine over the weekend and they stressed how difficult it was and suggested I should talk to a doctor about bupe. Not something I am prepared to get on. I have tried it a few times at pretty low doses and it made me feel really nauseas. It also makes me look fucked, eyes super pinpricked and droopy. It also feels like killing what is essentially a pretty small habit with something way too strong. Anyway, I will wait for the assessment and see what they say. I'm not going on bupe though. I have been through codeine withdrawal many times and although it isn't fun, it is no worse than having a cold combined with an upset stomach.

As for the last poster. I do have lots of good friends and live a pretty active social life. Sadly, my friends all use drugs and my social life is tied up with this. I certainly haven't burnt bridges with friends as a result of drug use. In fact, my drug use has probably solidified a lot of friendships. I'm not a dick on drugs and share them when I have them. My psychologist suggested making other friends who arent into drugs which is good advice. It just pretty hard to do when you work a lot and am approaching 30. I'm getting closer with the peeps at work which is good and no one talks about drugs there as drug use would get any of us fired and disbarred from the professional registration necessary to do our jobs. I'm sure some get on it, but they would do it with their mates outside of work. They drink a fair bit though.

 

[smokedup]

Thats a major issue for probs alot of us on here, where our social life is intertwined with drugs. Its not what actually is the number 1 reason we see these people either.

I decided to try join a social club i.e cricket, where there was a larger demographic of people to meet. It was weird at first, but pretty quickly you start meeting new people from all walks of life who accept you for who you are,you realise 'hey, this meth might not be needed after all, this weekend'. Weeks become months, and pretty soon your use is under control, while your satisfying your brain with a healthy lifestyle.

 

[the_ketaman]

This certainly isn't something I would advise but since ive started using psychedelics again(Mushrooms, MDA, DMT, LSD etc) I have greatly reduced my meth intake. For one I want to save what little money I do get to spend on psychs if im going to sped it on anything like that. I get so much more out of psychedelics and all meth has provided so far is a fucked up mind, criminal charges/probation, too many old friends stay away from me now because I can be a nutter at the best of times if im using regularly. And I use benzos way too much when im on meth, also have a lot of dangerous, unprotected receptive sex while high. The stuff turns me into a nympho in a bad way :/ Im frying now on some AMAZING shard atm though, under half a point IV'd made me spew and rush really hard and before than I had 3 tokes from a pipe and nearly spewed after that because the rush was almost like the IV rush I was getting from a whole point or more of the crappier stuff from other sources. I think they must have slowly lowered the purity so people didn't notice as much.

Either way I don't care, its not something I want to do often anyway.

 

[smokedup]

Good work ketaman, in finding the internal healer, that are psychs. I find my tolerance is slightly lowered after a positive experience, and your summation of your trip is exactly how i see shrooms. You are not exactly balls to the wall high, but consciousness is altered enough to peer through the looking glass of what this experience we call life, is. A beautiful thing. IF we want it to be, and choose that destiny.

 

[the_ketaman]

I feel like im beginning to become normal again which I never thought would happen. Its because of many things that are all related. I am doing something with my life which is giving me self respect and im feeling proud of myself so I have reason to feel good now. You aren't giften with happiness for no reason. I have good mates, im trying to stop using needles, im finding peace.

Sure I still have difficulty with addictions, methamphetamine and heroin are my 2 IV drugs of choice and addiction is powerful. There are times where I go to get drugs completely on auto-pilot and don't really think about it til im rushing after a shot. But more and more often im seeing that it hurts people to see me this way and I want respect but IV abuse isn't something to respect so I cant expect to be treated the same if im the only one in the room quite obviously wasted, around kids and inappropriate witnesses.

I am using and still too much but I think a lot more about it and I don't go into the whole poor me aspect of it because its too complicated and tht just makes me look like an idiot to people who don't get addiction.

 

[spacejunk]

I actually used LSD to break out of a moderate meth habit about 10 years ago.
I wouldnt normally advise using one drug to help "kick" addiction to another - but the completely different mindset of psychedelics made the neurotic obsessive busy nature and fiendishness of amphetamine seem unappealing and dirty by contrast.

Busying yourself with healthy activities, social interactions and other non-drug related past times is definitely more healthy and sustainable (psychedelics may not be 'addictive' but for the sake of one's mental health, they're no magic cure either) - but whatever works for you.
Meth ruins a lot of people's lives, and can be an extremely hard cycle for people to break free of.
Keep looking forward, it's worth it to try and get your life into a happier, healthier place.

 

[Gweggles]

Hey guys, loving the community here and all the helpful advice/support.

I've recently started a bit of a romance with the ol glass dick. My history with drugs is extensive, and I never thought I'd see myself coming back to shard after a brief stint with it when I was 20 (now 30). I just ingested about .05 and smoked the other .05. This shit is awesome, it has legs. It is "wet" but still crystallized. I love the kick it gives me, I don't have a desire to get blasted and delve into the rest of my stash, I'll save it and share with my best shardy bud on Friday. I'm a strong believer in always sharing the goodness. It was my 30th last week and I shouted my friendship circle in total 1.5 grams of coke and 13 really good pingers.

Anyhow, it's getting towards the tail end of this romance I think, and I am fully aware of the havoc this drug can wreak on people's lives. I have fallen into weekly use, which I know will not be sustainable in the long run. I like the idea of psychedelics to help bring me out of this fascination/obsession with a drug that is actually very common and not really that special at all. Looks like I'll be heading up to the old shroom spot, weather seems good for it atm. I am a very bright and charismatic person, very kind, loving and generous. I have many many good, genuine friends. The thing I fear most is this shit stripping me of my personality and leaving me a shell, like many others I have seen it do this to. I don't want to lose the people that care about me. When I weigh it all up (the situation lol), the choice is really clear as day.

 

[Gweggles]

Ketaman, kudos to you sir. A strong soul resides within! Never give up living, always be true to yourself.

 

[smokedup]

Hey gweggles, thanks for the input. This forum and its many stray travellers have been quintessesntial in learning about the beast that is meth, and its intriguing characteristics.

The vast differences in groups purely from roa's, to the cuts, to the interactions with differing psyches, guidance with use, you name it. Its here.

I am similarly afraid of that one problem you mentioned. Becoming a shell of what once was a kind and generous soul, with the fire inside burning brightly.

 

[the_ketaman]

I think you've just defined me. I don't think I was ever whole but im definitely hollow now, a shell as you put it. I am so angry that whoever created us has put me through this. I mean ive put myself through it of coure but ive been trying to find happiness and peace for over ten years, 4 stints in rehabs and I still use and it causes me immense mental and emotional anguish. I must have been in a good mood when I wrote that last post because I feel the complete opposite atm. Ive been crying and wailing because im lonely, I miss my dog who was the only living thing that ever had unconditional love, support and wanted to be physically close to me without having alterior motives. I miss his ability to make me forget everything bad and just feel pure love for such an innocent and beautiful creature. Unfortunately some poor man hit my poor dog and killed him last year but I honestly miss him more than I miss my own father whos also dead. I got multitudes more love and affection from my dog than my father. My dad really fucked me up exposing me to his mental health and anger issues while I was growing up. I have so much pain and I don't know where to even start.

I don't want to die for no reason but I don't want to live without quality of life. My sisters don't speak to me because im a drug addict and possibly HIV+, yet one of them was the first person to ever give me a few different hard drugs at age 12-13! hypocrite much! I just don't even know what to do anymore, I always had options left like rehabs or counselling but im exhausted of all that and just tired. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I also used to feel that I couldn't leave my mother behind if I suicided but I don't really care anymore. Its just as much my families fault as is mine that im in this situation, people have bullied and abused me my whole life and its beginning to affect me more than ever. Im so lost.

 

[poledriver]

Hang in there man, I know you might feel totally different next time you log on, but if you are seriously contemplating suicide please talk to some one at -

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467

So sad about your dog, mine means the world to me, and I have had one hit and killed before in the past as well, I was down for ages about it too. If you get back on track and stay focused to stay clean you can one day have that unconditional love again with a new dog, there are plenty of dogs out there that need homes. But it does cost several hundred dollars to legally adopt most dogs unless one just happens to turn up that is stray, but if it's someone else's ie tag or micro chipped its best to find out if they are missing it before keeping it.

https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/emergency

 

[spacejunk]

Great post poledriver.
K-man, you know that there is plenty of support on bluelight (be it here, The Dark Side, Mental Health etc) as well.
We all have periods of despair and feel it is all too much; especially when there are large amounts of addictive drugs thrown into the situation.
But you're a young guy with a lifetime of possibilities ahead of you. Please get your health checked out, and keep trying things.
Rehab isnt a 'cure' for everybody, and there is no shame in relapsing - it is a normal part of the recovery process for a lot of people.
Take care ketaman

 

[Gweggles]

Hey gweggles, thanks for the input. This forum and its many stray travellers have been quintessesntial in learning about the beast that is meth, and its intriguing characteristics.

The vast differences in groups purely from roa's, to the cuts, to the interactions with differing psyches, guidance with use, you name it. Its here.

I am similarly afraid of that one problem you mentioned. Becoming a shell of what once was a kind and generous soul, with the fire inside burning brightly.

Hey thanks for the response. Absolutely! I find smoking is my crux and I am aware that this is he most addictive roa. The simultaneous appeal and drawback of this drug, for me, is that it does increase motivation, performance and general sexyness of the self. Of course this is not without cost!

I was feeling a bit bad about my use the other day, only to start noticing the obese people in public around me, swilling their coke and eating their fucking junk! Thinking about the permanent stress their poor bodies are under 24/7 made me feel a bit better

 

[Gweggles]

It's so good to see the support on this forum.

Ketaman, please don't give up hope. I know this is not a very thought out solution, and may not be practical for you but: Have you considered trying to find an open minded doctor and get a script for HGH? You could also try an anti-ageing clinic. Shit is expensive but without even stating any scientific facts I can tell you this shit will have you feeling better to at least some degree, and I would say a high degree!

 

[Oldred3s]

I think you've just defined me. I don't think I was ever whole but im definitely hollow now, a shell as you put it. I am so angry that whoever created us has put me through this. I mean ive put myself through it of coure but ive been trying to find happiness and peace for over ten years, 4 stints in rehabs and I still use and it causes me immense mental and emotional anguish. I must have been in a good mood when I wrote that last post because I feel the complete opposite atm. Ive been crying and wailing because im lonely, I miss my dog who was the only living thing that ever had unconditional love, support and wanted to be physically close to me without having alterior motives. I miss his ability to make me forget everything bad and just feel pure love for such an innocent and beautiful creature. Unfortunately some poor man hit my poor dog and killed him last year but I honestly miss him more than I miss my own father whos also dead. I got multitudes more love and affection from my dog than my father. My dad really fucked me up exposing me to his mental health and anger issues while I was growing up. I have so much pain and I don't know where to even start. Suicide is becoming more of a plan than an ideation, and I always used to think that oneday things WILL get better and I will make them better but no matter how hard I try I am not the person I want to be.

I don't want to die for no reason but I don't want to live without quality of life. My sisters don't speak to me because im a drug addict and possibly HIV+, yet one of them was the first person to ever give me a few different hard drugs at age 12-13! hypocrite much! I just don't even know what to do anymore, I always had options left like rehabs or counselling but im exhausted of all that and just tired. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I also used to feel that I couldn't leave my mother behind if I suicided but I don't really care anymore. Its just as much my families fault as is mine that im in this situation, people have bullied and abused me my whole life and its beginning to affect me more than ever. Im so lost.

Hang in there ket. You've got a good soul mate. I've seen it through your posts. Everyone has their good and bad days. You can't let it get to you.
Have you thought about going and getting tested? It's a good idea to have it done mate. You may find that after you've been tested and get the results (positive or negative) you may feel a weight being lifted off you
Some sort of relief. You don't have to go to rehab mate. Just try and take some time to re-evaluate your own situation. You don't need someone else to do that for you. Try and change your perspective on your meth use. Like your use of psychedelics, you enjoy them and you say they help you but you don't abuse them. Try and use meth as a tool rather than a clutch. A lot of the I'll feelings you are having maybe contributed to the amount of meth you use. Of coarse your going to feel downtrodden after using a lot of meth, it's a powerful stimulant that will make you crash hard when using it a lot. You got to try and look through that thick fog in front of you mate. It really is better. Maybe where your living is not a great place to be. It seems there is a lot if negativity around. It seems like your not only in a negative mental space but a negative positive place.
A sea change can be just as good therapy as anything. I've followed your posts for a long time and your one of the few people that genuinely seems to want (not just need) help and trying to change.
The thing with suicide is that you don't get another chance. Being alive and here gives you infinite chances to change. It doesn't mater how many times you fuck up mate. That's not what counts. What counts is how many times you try to fix yourself up. Once tour gone it doesn't fix anything. Don't let the dark defeat you. Your better than that.
Anytime you want or need to talk you can inbox me mate. I might not answer right away but I won't leave you hanging.
I respect you for opening your heart and mind to all of us here. It takes alot to reach out and express your feelings. Not everyone can do that. That shows how strong you are already. Your just being held down by your demons. Don't let them mate.

 

[my innerself]

Hello ketaman,

hang in there man, its sad to see you hurting so much mate. We actually both have very similar lives you know. My father has passed, my whole family completely shit on me which caused me to become a horrible drug addict, alcoholic and meth junkie severe depression, the loneliness and pain, suicide fixations (I even tried killing myself 3 times, I came pretty damn close too, I still have the scar where the paramedics cut a hole in my throat to shove a tube into it, suicide is defiantly not the answer trust me I know). All I can say mate is hang in there. People can change.....you can change, just like I did. You have to quit the drugs mate its really the best thing for you right now pal. I know its hard, fuck I know its hard......but once you can abstain for a week, then a fortnight, then a month, and so on and so on.....you will find a sense of pride within yourself, and happiness will slowly creep back in. Don't ever forget that you're worth it mate, seriously....you're worth it.

 

[canberracrack]

well cunts...im back..


Was in rehab up until few days ago. facing some charges now and am on bail, due to some shit that happened in there.


got caught with a point and a pipe. punched a staff member. had to restrained and sedated and charges were laid.

i have court again next week in fact.

I'm off the diazepam now after a full taper

still feel pretty shitty nd scattered

I'm only on partial leave from the mental ward i still gotta report there every couple days. which is probably indefeinite

luckily that takes me where i need to go to score! ha!

my psychosis hasn't exactly left but its no worse. i force myself to eat and sleep now. like absolutely force it. that helps a ton

plus i dont always have money to score anyway.

i still use most days though,.

i gained about 6kg though, which is awesome.

 

[motiv311]

i've been off meth since may ... feel great,, no real cravings... meth sucks guys ! I was off and on for a bout 11 years here in san diego where its plentiful and cheap... probably most in the world

 

[methyldreams]

KETAMINE- 1 DRUG THAT I NEVER REALLY GOT HEAPS OFF JUST LIL PUFFS OF POWDER HERE AND THERE. YOU AND ME ARE ALIKE WE IN MANY WAYS, ALL WE ARE GOING TO HAVE WHEN WE ARE DEAD ARE POSTS ON A DRUG FORUM AND SCATTERED WHEREVER ELSE WE DRIBBLED SHIT.. NEVER EVER GIVE UP!!!

I GOT INTO THIS THREAD TO CATCH UP. I COMMENTED ON A FEWS REPLYS. NOT CC'S THAT KID ON METHYLTHENDIATE.. WANKER!!!

slimvictor slimvictor is offline
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04-07-2015 01:28 Report Post
Quote Originally Posted by canberracrack View Post
maybe you guys are all jealous of how fried I'm getting? while your all struggling like pussies !
I think you got it backwards, cc.
Getting high is the weak way out. It is so easy, and so certain. You will feel good. You don't need your own willpower. Just the drug. That is as easy as life gets.
Taking life sober is intensely difficult. That's why so few people are strong enough to do it. You need your own willpower to try to feel good every day, even when life throws shit at you. But when you get in the pattern, and can handle sobriety, it is actually amazing.
Days when I wake up early, meditate, do yoga, go for a run on the beach, then make a healthy breakfast are the best days. I feel a glow for the rest of the day. But I have to use my willpower to do these things.
Days when I sleep late and don't exercise, I don't feel as good. Much easier to just get high and forget about willpower. I still feel good, once I am high, and little or no effort is needed. Instant gratification.
Can you see it?
My friend says that sobriety is the strongest drug, and I sometimes think he is right.
Are you strong enough to be sober for 100 days?
You will not regret it, I guarantee it.
Here is a meth withdrawal timeline. It is hard, but it is worth it.


POWER TO YOU BROTHER, HOPE TO START TO BE LIKE YOU AND BRAVE THE WORLD SOBER NOT ON ANY DRUGS. ILLEGAL OR LEGAL


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06-07-2015 10:45 Report Post
Quote Originally Posted by SKR View Post
That's the thing about Meth too, it doesn't kill users off very quick at all, in fact they just keep going and going, running on fumes for years. You look like a weathered 60 yr old when you're 40. Poor fucks would be better off dead after 5 years use. Nope they shuffle along only one black tooth left in their heads, cum stains on their jeans whether they're male or female but especially the males. Twitchy tourettes like mannerisms whether they're high or not, everything is a conspiracy and when the cops drive past the harder they try to remain innocent the more suss they behave, drawing said cops to them like a moth is drawn to a light bulb. A bright shiny beacon of bullshit. Meth life, awesome. Heroin has more mercy by way of OD.
I also think CC is just a troll who is probably taking screen shots and posting them on another message board full of teens and getting a giggle of our responses but whatever.
I don't agree with the above statement - I believe the life span of a Meth addict is near 7 years. The effects of such a potent stim in the long term is a lot harder on the body then Heroin. It is easier to OD on Heroin due to not knowing the quality but however with Meth the constant high bp , bad diet , bad hygiene , effects on muscle tissue and cardiovascular system not to mention the deterioration on the skin leads me to believe people may not die directly from a OD of meth but due to the effects of the constant side effects I have mentioned.


I myself em a former IV user and can vouch first hand for a lot of them side effects. Clean since christmas and have held down a job , got back into the gym and repaired a lot of friendships that at one time had no chance of being rekindled. CC we do not envy you being "high" at all. No one likes a meth addict and you can spot them a mile away. I would rather make love to a woman then take a drug and play with myself over a computer for a 24 hour period.


HAHA 7 YEARS ... SO IV BEEN DOING 17 YEARS NOW.... MACHINE!!!! I ALWAYS KNEW IT


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07-07-2015 07:41 Report Post
I used amphetamine heavily over a ten year period... longer even, fro 17-28 , and people say i look younger... if anything it kept me younger looking


MATE IV ABUSED ALL DRUGS COULD GET HANDS ON SINCE 16 AND IM 32 ALMOST LOOK EARLY 20'S


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07-07-2015 07:51 Report Post
Quote Originally Posted by motiv311 View Post
I used amphetamine heavily over a ten year period..if anything it kept me younger looking
A decade on meth isn't benefiting anyone in any shape, way or form. Your statement is very misleading to the general public. This is a powerful stimulant not a some heavenly sedative
Last edited by realtalkloc; 07-07-2015 at 08:10. Reason: had to keep it real
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oki_kogarah oki_kogarah is offline
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07-07-2015 12:26 Report Post
Quote Originally Posted by motiv311 View Post
I used amphetamine heavily over a ten year period... longer even, fro 17-28 , and people say i look younger... if anything it kept me younger looking
Well there is evidence that you are disillusioned and not thinking normally as using amphetamine for a long period no matter which route of administration is hardly going to keep you younger looking. Maybe keep you skinny but a haggard and frail like appearance with no glow to your skin etc


ITS CALLED DNA!!! AND MOTIV311 AND I HAVE SOME SUPER POWERED ACID IN US.


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07-07-2015 14:01 Report Post
For me its honestly a spiritual thing....like childish immature behavior equals childish immature looks. My dad aggrees that there is a line yiu can cross , and get super haggard. But especially in the beginning, adderall/meth tightens up your face, thins you out, disapatchs wrinkles...


The longer and the heavier the usage, obviously wont work as well
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realtalkloc realtalkloc is offline
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07-07-2015 14:50 Report Post
Lol, you should work for victoria secret and let them know the secret to being beautiful......meth use for short durations lmao.


IL AGREE A LITTLE TOWARDS YOUR OUTLOOK ON YOUR LIFE AND SUCH. I AM VERY LAYED BACK NOT MUCH MAKES ME GO WOW!


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08-07-2015 18:57 Report Post
Quote Originally Posted by spacejunk View Post
Use of Meth amphetamine and straight up dexedrine or amphet sulfate (in wartime [2nd world war]at least) was a matter of national patents and practicalities - benzedrine, as it was marketed in the Allied forces and their work forces) was created (or at least used) - if memory serves correct because meth was already under patented...to the enemy.
(I think i have my history right there)
Regardless, amphetamine(s) been used by the military for more-or-less the same reason to this day; no matter what bullshit youre fighting for. Dexamphet seems to be the drug of choice nowadays.
I believe many armed forces (such as the USAF) still dose their fighter pilots, unless theyve moved on to mdpv or some shit.
Meth is by no means a new drug.
I am pretty sure in the USAF they now use modafinil instead of amphetamines. Almost 100% sure they have never used mdpv lol.


DEXEDRINE RULES! FOREVER! DEXYS AND FEW MLS OF BENZO OR OPIATE AND UR HIGH AS METH.


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21-07-2015 11:45 Report Post
Hey=-) I'm a hardcore tweaker and have been blazin shardz since I was 18 and now I'm almost 25. I love it and really don't want to quit anytime soon cuz its so fuckin fun and it makes me feel amazing. I still get a good rush and high even though my tolerance is hella high but probably cuz my bf always has lots of bomb shit and I basically get to blaze fat bowls for free anytime I want. I eat everyday like a normal person and I sleep almost every night. I'm not ugly and gross either like the typical meth head stereotype lol I'm not trying to sound conceided but I think lm def above average in the looks department. I can easily hide my addiction from anybody pretty much. I hate how meth users get the worst reputation and how society judges all of them as dirty ugly losers who steal and do crazy stupid shit because that's so not true. Yeah there are lots that fit that description but there are also people like me who smoke shit everyday and take good care of themselves and function like normal people. None of the tweakers I associate with neglect their hygiene or look anything like the "faces of meth" monstrosities lol.


THERE IS 30% OF USERS OF METH WHO NEVER WANT TO BE ASSOISIATED WITH ITS NAME.. INTERESTING?


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23-07-2015 20:49 Report Post
Has anyone had much luck when it comes to drug counselling for meth?


I went to my psychologist today and she said that due to my weekend binges on ice and daily use of codeine it is going to be really difficult to treat my anxiety, depression and insomnia. I have given turning point a call and have been will be giving North Western Alcohol and Drugs a call tomorrow.


I'm at a bit of a turning point here as I have been using a half g of ice each weekend for about a month. Before that it was a bit more sporadic. Apart from the pleasure from smoking it, I don't get much benefit from it. In fact, it certainly isnt worth the obsessive compulsive carpet surfing, depression, anxiety, insomnia and mild psychotic symptoms after either. Plus I am spending more than I would pay to rent a one bedroom apartment in Melbourne per week.


Further to this, my girlfriend and I broke up. Much of this was due to my drug use. That said, I had been thinking of ending the relationship for a while but it is a wake up call. I am concerned that if my use increases that I may lose my job (not close to that yet) and/or end up in a psych ward for meth psychosis.


I would like to be focusing on other things in my life rather than just working and then using drugs on the weekend and feeling tired and depressed all week. It is getting old.


IM FEELING YA BRO. BREAK 2 GET KEYBOARD THATS NOT SO LOUD... HAHAH METH PARANOIA.. GOOD GOT NOT SO LOUD KEYBOARD CAN CONTINUE, THE REASON IM AWAKE AND BACK ON THIS SITE IS BECAUSE MY NEW GIRLFRIEND, IF YOU READ ANY OF MY POSTS ITS THE SAME GIRL I CRACKED ONTO 1ST NIGHT AND THEN WHERE JUST FRIENDS FOR NEXT COUPLE OF MONTHS TIL BANG WE FUCKING AND IT FEEL GOOD WHY WE WAIT SO LONG.. ANYWAY HER AND I HAVE OUR OWN PLACE NEAR THE BEACH TO MOVE INTO NEXT FRIDAY. WE GOT IT THERE SO IM AWAYFROM ALL THE PEOPLE I KNOW.
IT HAS GOT THAT BAD THAT I HAVE TO LEAVE TOWN TO GIVE MYSELF HALF A CHANCE AT BEATING THIS DRUG AGAIN.


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25-07-2015 13:55 Report Post
Thats a major issue for probs alot of us on here, where our social life is intertwined with drugs. Its not what actually is the number 1 reason we see these people either.


I decided to try join a social club i.e cricket, where there was a larger demographic of people to meet. It was weird at first, but pretty quickly you start meeting new people from all walks of life who accept you for who you are,you realise 'hey, this meth might not be needed after all, this weekend'. Weeks become months, and pretty soon your use is under control, while your satisfying your brain with a healthy lifestyle.


MY HEALTHY HOBBY COULB BE SOCCER, I WAS A TALENTED MOTHERFUCKA BACK IN THE DAY.. JUST LAZY ALL TALENT NO INNER PUSH FOR IT. I WANTED TO EXPLORE MY HEAD AND THE WORLD.
CROSS OFF MY HEAD NEXT IS THE WORLD.


smokedup smokedup is offline
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the last chance to evacuate planet earth
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10-08-2015 15:25 Report Post
Good work ketaman, in finding the internal healer, that are psychs. I find my tolerance is slightly lowered after a positive experience, and your summation of your trip is exactly how i see shrooms. You are not exactly balls to the wall high, but consciousness is altered enough to peer through the looking glass of what this experience we call life, is. A beautiful thing. IF we want it to be, and choose that destiny.


THINGS JUST DONT HAPPEN WE ARE ALL HERE WRITTING FOR A REASON, WHICH COULD BE TO FILL THE MEMORYS OF AI IN THE FUTURE SO THEY CAN TASTE THE ESSENCE OF DIEING AND LIVING.
I SEEN MY 1ST MUSHIES FOR THE YEAR ONLY TODAY AND NOW IM REPLYING TO A COMMENT ABOUT A DRUG ON A FORUM I HAVNT VISITED FOR MONTHS..
CREATE YOURSELF DONT BE CREATED.


Gweggles Gweggles is offline
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Jul 2015
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12-08-2015 13:03 Report Post
Hey guys, loving the community here and all the helpful advice/support.


I've recently started a bit of a romance with the ol glass dick. My history with drugs is extensive, and I never thought I'd see myself coming back to shard after a brief stint with it when I was 20 (now 30). I just ingested about .05 and smoked the other .05. This shit is awesome, it has legs. It is "wet" but still crystallized. I love the kick it gives me, I don't have a desire to get blasted and delve into the rest of my stash, I'll save it and share with my best shardy bud on Friday. I'm a strong believer in always sharing the goodness. It was my 30th last week and I shouted my friendship circle in total 1.5 grams of coke and 13 really good pingers.


Anyhow, it's getting towards the tail end of this romance I think, and I am fully aware of the havoc this drug can wreak on people's lives. I have fallen into weekly use, which I know will not be sustainable in the long run. I like the idea of psychedelics to help bring me out of this fascination/obsession with a drug that is actually very common and not really that special at all. Looks like I'll be heading up to the old shroom spot, weather seems good for it atm. I am a very bright and charismatic person, very kind, loving and generous. I have many many good, genuine friends. The thing I fear most is this shit stripping me of my personality and leaving me a shell, like many others I have seen it do this to. I don't want to lose the people that care about me. When I weigh it all up (the situation lol), the choice is really clear as day.


IM AT SAME PLACE GWEGGLES. ONLY A FEW OF US LEFT PARTYING NOW. BEST MEMORYS AND NO REGRETS EXCEPT GETTING STONED TO MUCH.


the_ketaman the_ketaman is offline
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13-08-2015 01:02 Report Post
I think you've just defined me. I don't think I was ever whole but im definitely hollow now, a shell as you put it. I am so angry that whoever created us has put me through this. I mean ive put myself through it of coure but ive been trying to find happiness and peace for over ten years, 4 stints in rehabs and I still use and it causes me immense mental and emotional anguish. I must have been in a good mood when I wrote that last post because I feel the complete opposite atm. Ive been crying and wailing because im lonely, I miss my dog who was the only living thing that ever had unconditional love, support and wanted to be physically close to me without having alterior motives. I miss his ability to make me forget everything bad and just feel pure love for such an innocent and beautiful creature. Unfortunately some poor man hit my poor dog and killed him last year but I honestly miss him more than I miss my own father whos also dead. I got multitudes more love and affection from my dog than my father. My dad really fucked me up exposing me to his mental health and anger issues while I was growing up. I have so much pain and I don't know where to even start. Suicide is becoming more of a plan than an ideation, and I always used to think that oneday things WILL get better and I will make them better but no matter how hard I try I am not the person I want to be.


I don't want to die for no reason but I don't want to live without quality of life. My sisters don't speak to me because im a drug addict and possibly HIV+, yet one of them was the first person to ever give me a few different hard drugs at age 12-13! hypocrite much! I just don't even know what to do anymore, I always had options left like rehabs or counselling but im exhausted of all that and just tired. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I also used to feel that I couldn't leave my mother behind if I suicided but I don't really care anymore. Its just as much my families fault as is mine that im in this situation, people have bullied and abused me my whole life and its beginning to affect me more than ever. Im so lost.


OI BRO PM ME AND I GIVE YOU MY NUMBER OR SOMETHING. NEVER EVER GIVE UP!! ITS DARK PLACE BUT I COULD HAVE ENDED MYLIFE NUMERUOS TIMES.. MANY FRIENDS HAVE... WHICH IS SELFISH AND WEAK SORRY IF I OFFEND BUT IT IS. ATLEAST MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A ACCIDENT.