So, 3rd week in and not a cloud in the sky... pippy longstockings aint around, and i feel so... fresh. But manic. Also, no cones after 10 yrs of near daily smoking and all that muck is coming up every morning. It actually feels satisfying huckin this shit up after it sitting there for probly that duration.
I have kept ridiculously fit considering, being a gym junkie, playing high level footy/volleyball/cricket ect. while i was young, but i was kidding myself. im a go getter. I have impeccable genes that ive been abusing like a arrogant prick. Some of the stuff today actually tasted like bad fish coming up, disgustingly enough. Its bad being a social chameleon and being able to effortlessly blend in as joe citizen.
A bad flu is making the rounds, and i hadnt been sick properly in maybe 2 years. A horrendous fever is the only thing that really makes me slow down, at least in the short term. A blessing in disguise.
The cycle has been broken! midweek get on(.5g), blend in at work, rest during the weekend, do it all again. Over and over and over like a merry go round. I think it sucks i can go to work on this stuff, still anxious and cooked, but my psyche understands this and knows at worst, you just look a little tired. Ive worked it out now, the worst is comin in thinkin everyone knooooowwwsss!!!!! lol, fuk no they dont. Im alredy manic as fuck when im normal lol if anything im less manic. all personal mind games.
I just love that sweet, sweet sensation, that relief of blowing a streaming, mountainous, unburnt cloud of content. Me, but better, in the best mode i can be in. Plus, im usually buggered physically from the neck down from all the repetitions, the heartache, my heart and soul left in the gym, at work, wherever. YAY im fresh again. Now i can sit, but not feel like a bag of cement.
Well ive done it, cravings come and go, but i think there is an underlying mania inside me that this stuff feels like a medicinal helping hand in a sense. Oh well, im feeling like a bag of cement now, so off to sleep. I broke the cycle.