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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Methadone (Maintenance) - Has it significantly altered (or numbed) your personality?

ro4eva

ro4eva

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Since I've started MMT in January 2010, my interests, hobbies, the type of foods I enjoy... So many things have changed. I was always an adrenaline junkie who loved listening to, mixing and producing fast and hard music (my definition being trance, hard trance, hardstyle, etc.). I enjoyed going out with friends whenever I could, whether it was just to hang out and have a drink or - on occasion - go raving/clubbing/partying (although not nearly as much as I used to when I was younger due to not being able to work hungover/crashing anymore). Even when my opiate habit took over, as long as I wasn't dope sick, nothing of the aforementioned traits changed. Now, it's a feat for me to be able to withstand listening to my woofer thumping at 140+ bpm for longer than 2 minutes without wanting to throw it out the window. It's a similar situation when being called Friday or Saturday night and asked if/where I wanna go party. I'd rather just stay home now and - gulp - play video games. I'm also craving sweets like a mofo. I recently spoke to my methadone doc about my lack of mental energy (for lack of a better term) and that didn't go over well. He finds my lack of faith disturbing, but thinks I'm being myself - ok then genius 8(

Anyone else experience(ing) a similar numbness of their usual sources of amusement and entertainment?
 
The methadone is definitely the culprit here. You should consider tapering off methadone if you believe that addressing this personality change is more important than MMT.

You may want to consider learning mindfulness techniques and therapy to address these problems.

Medically, I'd consider a stimulant here but with caution since it's addictive and you've had problems with addictive drugs.

Perhaps dexamphetamine or, more realistically, bupropion could help with the social withdrawal if you don't suffer from an anxiety disorder. You may want to try amitriptyline ON.
 
I've never been on opioid maintenance myself but don't understand why people would prefer building a huge tolerance and constant ginormous drug level on the full agonist methadone when buprenorphine can blockade at such a lower dose due to its mind boggling affinity. I guess some just want to be able to function and are happy to stay on methadone forever, but to me bupe (even if not quite as satisfying to some) is a much more distinctive step towards recovery.

For your situation bupe can be more stimulating to some users as well. Plus month long take-homes are only a few months away.
 
^ i hate bupe and methadone. suboxone makes me depressed and does shit for cravings.

methadone makes me a zombie and makes it hard for me to function bc i nod at random times unknowningly like when driving, at work. so i got off of both.

i think i may have gotten hooked again to opiates. i dont know what to do - ive been trying to quit for like 5 years.

anyway, to the OP Id get off methadone or taper down to a lower dose, see if that helps u.
 
I personally would recommend Bupe. It has very definite antidepressant and stimulating effects. The stimulatory effects being most prominent at lower dosages such as 2mg and below. Once bupe kicks in for me I wanna smoke some trees, play guitar, draw, and be sociable. Methadone lacks euphoria and that bupe motivation. It doesn't really help for tapering other than the fact that it has a long duration, but it still remains a full agonist and doesn't block other opiates until you reach 40mg or above I believe otherwise I've used it alongside other opioids in dosages below 40mg to boost heroin, morphine, hydrocodone, and such. Bupe is a partial agonist making the withdrawals much easier to cope with too.
 
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I am asking myself the same question : I recently took methadone for about a week, 10mg a day so not much, and I feel like my mind has become numb also. I just don't care about much, and I have trouble focusing or writing a mail or anything. It's like I am in a kind of light fog, I'm just "there" but nothing like I usually am (active, focusing OK, caring about the things I do etc). I also forget to call people, respond to messages, I just forget. I know the difference is the methadone : whenever I stopped dope and used codeine, I never was like that. My friend, who has been taking about 40mg for years, has realized he had lost the motivation he used to have and has not been doing much for some time. I just told him that, according to my own experience, the methadone could have something to do with it... he says the bupe didn't work for him, with the craving.
 
Another problem my friend has had : he tried stopping the methadone for about a year and a half, and it got him very depressed. He has been using heroin for many years so I guess that changed his brain chemicals. As soon as he got back on methadone, the depression went away, but the motivation didn't come back. I stopped taking the methadone yesterday and got back on the codeine, and I feel better already. Itsok, did that depression thing happen to you? My friend also tried Topiramate and he says it helped him big time not to use (he stayed clean for nearly a year with it) but it had very unpleasant side effects, mostly memory loss.
 
Geaux Tigers! said:
You may want to consider learning mindfulness techniques and therapy to address these problems.
Click to expand...

It's interesting you mention that - I have been trying to listen to John Kabat-Zinn for a couple of months and I do find it makes a difference in terms of me being able to manage certain daily stressors, which, I unfortunately having been living with for the past few years. I'm not sure though if that's what you meant.

Medically, I'd consider a stimulant here but with caution since it's addictive and you've had problems with addictive drugs.
Click to expand...

I should probably have stated that I've been on 300mg of Wellbutrin XL once daily for a little over 6 years now. I'll look into the possibility of trying d-amp. Also, I've been on amitriptyline and - long story short - I cannot tolerate the side effects.

Thanks for the advice.
 
Drugs will not solve your personality problems. I'm not sure what else I would prescribe here. For the money you spend on relatively shitty bupropion and such -- you could invest in therapy sessions that would do a lot of help. The methadone is blunting your life with its artificial endorphins. These aren't exactly pleasurable; I would argue that in your case that they are ruining your ability to experience happiness. You're catching nods and not buzzing. Obviously, this going to have a big effect. You need to realize that MMT is the only thing that is keeping you from nodding off dope and now your tolerance is ridiculous. That much opiate receptor stimulation day in and day out, sadly without too much pleasure, is just a shame; destructive for you. You need to come up with things that will make you happy besides opiates. Opiates are easy happiness -- and potent happiness -- it doesn't take much work to eat them. Happiness is best obtained using your natural endorphin system (which is not in the best shape) with hard work and reaching your goals. This is easier said than done.

I would not prescribe you d-amp until you can taper off the methadone. You know it's the problem; it's your life, seize it. The melancholy will only get worse.

I've been in your shoes with opiate addiction.
 
I've thought about this during my shower. I want to clarify some things here. I'd use d-amp IF you decided to get on a taper schedule; sort of as motivation. Unless you make an ADHD case. D-amp would only mask the methadone problem you have. When I was at the height of my addiction, I really wanted to do MMT; not get sober. MMT is antiquated, Suboxone is the clear way to proceed with opiate addiction. I have your best interests at mind here, trust me. A lot of pdocs do not, psychologists tend to care more...

These shitty TCAs won't do much to help you besides blunt out your feelings and make you sleepy. I can see mirtazapine being beneficial to someone with appetite and sleeping issues....

Good luck!
 
^ I appreciate your honesty.

I have actually been tapering since the middle of October 2011 and recently successfully completed a 2 month rehab program which partly consisted of CBT, mind training, spirituality, psychodrama, etc.

As antiquated as MMT may be, it saved what little life I had left. Apart from the change in part of my lifestyle as well as a couple of side effects I don't particularly enjoy but manage, I'm very happy with the massive improvement in productivity and I have no regrets as I'm in a better position than ever financially, physically, spiritually, and for the most part emotionally and mentally. Since noticing the changes written in my OP, I decided - it seemed like a good idea at the time - it wouldn't hurt to ask other MMT patients about their numbfullness.
 
I think it's going to be a common theme with the MMT. Some of the patients may have been "numbed" by prior opiate use. I see where you're coming from. I'd just continue your taper. It can take a lot of hard work to get your personality back. I stand corrected, you seem to be in a good place right now. Continue to do what you're doing. It's tough.

Best of wishes.
 
I have been on MMT for 8 years. A fairly high dose 150 mgs a day, split up half am half pm because my metabolism is very fast. Hindsight as they say 20/20, and I would never recommended methadone over subutex now. However, at the time I had a small child at home and could not afford to be sick (also back then subutex was not as prevalent). Now without getting into everything about being on methadone, pros and cons, etc, the issue at hand is personality changes in people on MMT.
To answer your question I have DEFINITELY experienced everything you have. (I wonder, since this is an old post, if you are still on MMT?)
I can describe it as a total body and brain painkiller, that makes your whole being numb. My husband, who got with me when I had just sstarted methadone, has noticed my changes most of all. It's torture because I feel as if I'm faking everything, faking pleasure, pain ,happiness, every emotion. Flat.... I feel the only way to fix it is to get off methadone. I try every day to be normal. I should add, from the day I started MMT I have been clean. I do not even drink alcohol. Sorry to not offer much in the way of a solution, just know it's more common than you think.
 
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