slightly_paranoid
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 29, 2025
- Messages
- 14
I have recently made the realization of my past addiction problems: It's simple.......it's pain. Emotionaly pain or physical pain or sometimes both. I have a curvature of the spine that almost requires a back brace and have come to the realization that I've been trying to kill that pain on my own my whole life. Then, when I'm not in physical pain, I am INTENSE emotional pain from the mistreatment and verbal abuses I've endured since a child. My friends joke and say I have the worst luck ever but its gotten to a point to where bad things are said to me so often that I can't even keep up. Feels like I'm targeted at times.
But anyway. I am hoping to hear from some Methadone success stories. I am considering getting on it for life. I have had doctors who did genetic testing on me and straight up said that my body does not produce endorphins. The problem is I've been in Opiate Use Disorder therapy and on Suboxone but it is only covering the withdrawal and is doing nothing for the emotional pain. I really feel like I need to see a pain specialist. I scheduled an earlier appointment with my Addiction Doctor and we're going to discuss pros/cons of both Suboxone and Methadone and how to best go about getting on Methadone if that's what we decide to pursue. I personally like methadone better because it helps me more. I honestly think I'd be able to stop my small benzo Rx and they're going to make me stop it if I get on Methadone and think it will help with anxiety. The Suboxone feels "speedy" which is not what I need. I don't mind going to a clinic everyday for say a month but that's it and then I want it called in monthly. Does it work like that? Will I have to jump through hoops? The Suboxone appointments are super easy since I'm doing so well and is currently very convenient, which is a huge pro for Suboxone. However, my doc cannot prescribe Methadone but he's in the scene and will be able to tell me the best clinic to go to for my needs. I want to be there surrounded by other people that want to do better.
I've tried complete abstinance and it SUCKED. I need medication and there's nothing wrong with that. People in NA that scold you for being on medications, just ask if they have a PhD.......freaking ignorance. When I was on nothing, I struggled to keep a job, consistently depressed and ANXIOUS, never shared in meetings because they made my anxiety much worse. I'm looking for someone that's been on both that can help me think this through.
But anyway. I am hoping to hear from some Methadone success stories. I am considering getting on it for life. I have had doctors who did genetic testing on me and straight up said that my body does not produce endorphins. The problem is I've been in Opiate Use Disorder therapy and on Suboxone but it is only covering the withdrawal and is doing nothing for the emotional pain. I really feel like I need to see a pain specialist. I scheduled an earlier appointment with my Addiction Doctor and we're going to discuss pros/cons of both Suboxone and Methadone and how to best go about getting on Methadone if that's what we decide to pursue. I personally like methadone better because it helps me more. I honestly think I'd be able to stop my small benzo Rx and they're going to make me stop it if I get on Methadone and think it will help with anxiety. The Suboxone feels "speedy" which is not what I need. I don't mind going to a clinic everyday for say a month but that's it and then I want it called in monthly. Does it work like that? Will I have to jump through hoops? The Suboxone appointments are super easy since I'm doing so well and is currently very convenient, which is a huge pro for Suboxone. However, my doc cannot prescribe Methadone but he's in the scene and will be able to tell me the best clinic to go to for my needs. I want to be there surrounded by other people that want to do better.
I've tried complete abstinance and it SUCKED. I need medication and there's nothing wrong with that. People in NA that scold you for being on medications, just ask if they have a PhD.......freaking ignorance. When I was on nothing, I struggled to keep a job, consistently depressed and ANXIOUS, never shared in meetings because they made my anxiety much worse. I'm looking for someone that's been on both that can help me think this through.
