Thanks guys and yes sober living is a good forum for me as thats where im trying to get to. Good advice and once i get rid of the devil tapping my shoulder i hope i can do this i will cont on sober living unless i relapse badly
If you relapse, that is absolutely no reason to stay away from SL. Relapsing is most often a part of recovery. Do not believe the horror stories you hear. If you are diligent in working on improve the overall quality of your life and improving your health, over time lapses and relapses tends happen with less and less frequencies AND less and less severity. If you're not working on improve yourself on qualitative terms, who knows what will happen.
If you just keep trying you'll be pleasantly surprised. Hence why I want to emphasize that, no matter what life throws at you or what imperfect choices you might make along the way, we are always happy to support you regardless of where you find yourself. Relapse is neither inevitable nor required in recovery, but that doesn't mean it is a normal, natural part of the vast majority's journey in recovery.
p.s. And if you ever feel like not using SL, that is totally cool too. We like not having much in the way of requirements around here. We're more interested in wherever you are at, highlighting the related opportunities attached to wherever you're at (they're always there, sometime just less obvious considering the stigma, shame, depression, anxiety and self-hatred we might experience) and attempting a range of skillful options when it comes to supporting you in making healthier decisions regarding your own goals for recovery. Harm reduction at it's finest I like to think of it at
Hi guys my original message is on (bdd). The moderator moved it to here as im trying to kick my meds and my once a fortnight day of using . Its so stupid this using thing obviously as an addict im blaming the guy who phones me with all these tablets i just feel obliged to buy some , i wont name them but they are benzos, opiods and mental health tabs and capsules no internet needed ,i just get so bored with my 40 ml of methadone and this 5th diazepam dettox sorry im being sarcastic its my 2nd dettox. Anyway im definetely holding on to something ive moved to a difèrent part of löndön ive kicked heroin i still smoke rock once in a blue møon not this year, i want to get clean i remember i dropped from 40ml to 20ml of meth in 2 weeks and i felt so depressed and lifeless i went back to 40 . Im a coward after that experience and have stayed in a comfort zone for a while now so i need advice and ideas from u guys as i cant do it alone
First of all, you're not stupid, you just made a (shall we say) silly decision (or number of decision) that ended up leading you back to an unfortunately familiar place of dis-ease and suffering. That is only human when it comes to the challenges of life my friend. Try and be a little kinder and easier on yourself. This is nothing to beat yourself up over. Rather, it is merely something to learn from.
I am wonderful, why are you on such a low dose of methadone if you have been struggling with your ongoing substance use?
Has your continued use of heroin/cocaine/(what) other substance(s) on top of your methadone been harmful to you?
Why not go back up, if not simply to 40mL, but even higher than that until you feel your cravings have been substantially relieved. That is the whole point of being on methadone, after all. The right dose for you is the right dose for you. No one can predict exactly what you will find as your ideal amount of the medication before you find it for yourself.
When I was on methadone I started at 30mL (well, it is qualified as 30mg using a roughly diluted 10mg/mL solution in the states; it works out the same mg for mg as 30mL at 1mg/mL, which is the system in the UK). I went up to 60mL, then 80mL, then 90mL, then back down to 80mL. Stayed there for about 6-8 months, then reduce my dose by 5mg a week to 60mL. Hung out there for a while, until moving down to 40mL at the same dose reductio n rate.
Decreased it to 30mL shortly thereafter, then decided to go back up to 40mL. After hanging out there for a week or two I began tapering down by 2mL/week. At 30mL I hung out there for a while again, and when I was ready dropped my dose by 1mL/week until I was at 20mL. Hung out there for a while, then went down to 10mL at the same rate of reduction.
Jumped off around there, detoxing using codeine for three days to transition myself onto buprenorphine+diazpeam+clonidine+gabapentin which I took for a week before stopping everythign but gapabentin and trazadone. It all took almost exactly 2.5 years from start to finish, and there was more than one lapse and slip up along the way. But it all ended more successfully than I could have imagined last summer, and I'm still here, at a point where even the thought of using heroin makes me a little nauseous, sick, turned totally off.
Anyways, what I'm describing is not an uncommon way you hear about people who find success with methadone. Everyone's experience is a little different, though most people seem to find success staying on it for 2-3 years.
