oxymoron87
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2009
- Messages
- 72
Basicly i got a script of blue 1mg xanax yesterday, and today i bring them to the methadone clinic so i dont get in trouble for any more of my dirty benzo drops cause they were about to kick me out if they weren't out of my system in like 4 days, so anyways they started freaking out saying they need to inform my doctor and i had to sign against my will the release for them to contact him and tell him i go to the methadone clinic and how much im on {125mgs}, now i have had problems with panic attacks and anxiety problems sense middle school or as long as i can remember, social anxiety, just plane always, around new people, or job interviews, or if i have something important to do i will have such bad anxiety that i will get no sleep the night before ,and when i was younger i was prescribed other benzos like ativan, and xanax not to mention a million other things before they actually gave me something that worked, i actually feel stable not nodding or slurring my words or burning shit with my cigs and its been years sense i have felt like a normal person not strung out and sick and chasing oxys or dope everyday as soon as i get up, even with just the methadone i still felt uncomfortable like still kinda dope sick just strange like rite before yer about to get the flu that weird feeling and u know yer gona get sick but it only gets that far, at 1st i thawt i was just geting the flu but after weeks of this i realized it was my done dose was to low but they will not give me any more, with the xanax i am perfect not high and not sick and weak, i feel like i could strike up a convo with a person walking down the street, , and i really need them when i dont take any after my methadone daily dose i feel as if i have no medication in me at all, my pupils will get huge all day and i will pritty much just have to be in bed all day at one point i was so frustrated i was ready to call it quits at the clinic cause it just wasnt holding me i had cravings still and still felt ill 50 percent of the time but wen i took the xanax with it not abusing them by the way i felt great had energy was back to my old self again.But let me quit rambling and get to the point i did not mention this to the doc that wrote the xanax that i was attending a methadone clinic cause i figured he would not give me the xanax to a recovering attict i only ever was hooked on opiates, but wen u go there they just think i will take anything and everything, and i was like look lady if i wanted to abuse these i could and pulled them out my pocket i said u wana count them but she insisted that they needed to tell my doc how dangerous it is and who knows what eles shes gona tell him but im on here to ask if u think next month wen i go back to the doc hes gona yank my script of xanax cause of this i mean i did not lie to get them or even stretch the truth at all took him a whole 5mins in his office and he sent me on my way with the script the lady at the methadone clinic said 9 times outa 10 they dont do anything just maybe monitor my drug screens so me benzo levels dont go higher than what he should be giving me. So any one eles been in this situation or have any advice im just scared that they are gona not give me em next month wen i show up at the docs. I guess ther is just a stigma with people at the methadone clinic ,that they will do any and all drugs, but that couldn't be further from the truth i hate cocaine ,i do not drink, i had script of ritalin and hated it took maybe 10 outa the 90 in the bottle and they sat in my closet fer years, dont like amphetamines,or hallucinogens, it was only opiates 1st fer fun all my friends did them oxys were everywhere then cause i wanted to be high and not sick and then wen a drained my bank account completely it was just to be not sick then i found them from a town over fer less than half of what they went for ware i lived so i could hustle up enough to have a wallet that could barley close and stay high 24/7 but ops kinda ruined that and it was iv heroin from then on and this is why i turned to the methadone
Last edited: