My Original comment must have really got under your skin if you had to edit your reply with all that bullshit when you at first said you weren't going to entertain my childish comments or whatever lol. You tooK a Loss oN that one lol
Lol nope, not really actually. If you paid such good attention to all my posts throughout the site as you say you do, you'd notice that probably most of them are edited- something I do quite frequently, in many settings in fact. Sue me. Hahaha. If I've done shit to upset you so deeply, things that are actually wrong- report me to site mods and I'll gladly await and welcome a PM from them, to which I'll happily consider the words within and my behavior. Otherwise.....I welcome you to quit bitching and starting shit for no reason.
I say what is generally considered HR and I do my best to do so, and do so accurately. If you have a problem with that, why are you here? (Not that I discourage it or wish you weren't or anything, I'd never wish for a BLer to leave). I've both seen and experienced enough in my life that I have realized the seriousness of the life we all live and the great importance of the HR necessary to make it through in one piece (even if one severely damaged piece), I don't speak the way I do out of some false sense of righteousness or superiority- hell, I've fucked up more than probably most of the people I've advised here (so I'm likely lower/worse)- I do it because I know the consequences of fucking up or using substances wrong or irresponsibly. So I give the best advice I can from the knowledge I have and experience had in the hopes that maybe at least one Bluelighter's life can stand a little better chance of making it through what we do, and maybe avoid some of the pitfalls within it, that I KNOW are there. I've seen far too many fall...and I feel obligated to teach the best I know how (even if I may be wrong at times, I always welcome a legitimate challenge to my "knowledge", because if I am wrong about something, I need to correct it if I seriously wish to be helpful), even with the understanding and knowledge that much of my advice will likely be ignored. I don't feel that anyone here is better than another, how are we to know anyway? We're all equal Bluelighters to my eyes, and I'm looking out for my people as I'd hope someone else might care to ever do for me if such a time came. We're all simply a community of similar interests or lifestyles, trying to improve ourselves and looking out for one another, and I've got nothing but love for such a construct- one that's much needed in a time where everyone has teamed against the likes of us, but hardly any of us have bothered to do the same- except here. In this mode of thinking, I wish for no beef between myself and any other members, including yourself ovo, despite the attacks and such....I'm skilled in letting shit go, and would be more than happy and willing to leave this "feud" and everything with it in the past, and I hope you are able and willing to do the same. Even if you still dislike me after this post (which I can respect), I truly believe we are capable of being adults and at least getting along like gentlemen- and I hope my belief is not foolish or too hopeful.
As for supposed "righteousness", hell, I STILLl fuck around with some things I'd advise against (though I still for most part, hold myself to quite high standards of HR and stick to them), I don't deny I'm still up to no good at times- but I know the facts and acknowledge the risks associated with my behaviors with as little denial as absolutely possible.
If that makes me hypocritical, so be it. But sometimes, the biggest failures or fuck up's can be a great wealth of knowledge and experience, making them a great help- which is what I aim to do. I'm pretty certain I have never aimed to be an asshole just because, nor treat another like shit for no reason and leave no useful info, and I would hope my posts are not perceived that way by the majority viewing them. Maybe I'm blunt at times, but I've found it to generally be a better quality while discussing these kinds of subjects anyway....it's not to come off rude or "righteous" (as you call it), it's because people need facts, and facts that are least watered down as possible, accurate information....I don't think I've even been that bad in this regard though (and you're the only one to have complained about my posts thus far...). I feel I have been helpful and nice/respectful in pretty much every post I can recall (unless you have specific instances you can show me through PM to make me think again). Out of my near 80 some odd posts thus far, I honestly can't recall much of anything that crossed the line or was unnecessarily mean or fucked up to another user (but again, I welcome what evidence you may have that speaks otherwise, and would genuinely consider my behavior towards others in order to improve myself in that case)- other than perhaps the instance I intend to address in this post.
I seriously doubt there's any such posts you could drag up, and I do believe perhaps you've simply found a non-existent problem to pick at in a stranger for no legitimate reason, possibly due to timing of use and reading my posts? Not as an insult, just saying it happens commonly, nothin new among us folks. Unless you do actually hold a genuine sense of contempt for HR (which I'd find strange and not my hope).
But I do hope we can make peace on this BS, despite the raw feelings, this place is simply much better and more beneficial for not only you and i, but everyone here, when members aren't needlessly bickering at one another, working together in some way or another instead. And an opposing view really isn't such a bad thing anyway if it's worked through by mature adults....I've come to rather enjoy discussions in real life with people who's views differ dramatically from my own (even some of which I still find ridiculous or outrageous or undoubtedly wrong.....the open communication not only opens my mind, but also brings about an understanding of why a person thinks the way they do, and makes the relationship considerably easier since that understanding allows for a much less sinister perception of the other party)- where many would take insult, I take a chance to see things from another angle or even to consider further while thinking alone. It can be helpful as long as egos are put in check- at least to a degree. Plus, the opposing views expressed through posts here have the ability to draw more attention and discussion from other members, more input equaling better selection of given information to find the best advice possible. So I don't see it as bad, and I hope that we can at least be cordial with one another- which I believe to be in everyone's best interest. I really don't have the additional energy to put into these such pissing matches anyway- I'd really prefer direct my focus elsewhere....somewhere actually helpful to users within the site, for instance...
Though I will admit that perhaps I have gone a bit off topic or over the top maybe once or twice, the one specific time coming to mind being within this thread, and OP, I just wish to apologize for the relationship counseling comment, that was kinda rude and unnecessary, I guess I mainly said it simply because I perceived you to be belittling your girlfriend and belittling her pain....something that DOES get under my skin (ovo- since you said this was of interest to you) is a person belittling another's withdrawals. Especially a person that's supposed to be so intimately close. I mean, they have it hard enough already....whether you believe it or not. And this kind of behavior can be very harmful and detrimental, not to mention ignorant and fucked up....
Yes, methamphetamine isn't close to opioids in physical withdrawals, but the psychological ones it can produce can be pure torture (as explained by a previous poster). Psychological withdrawals ARE just as real as physical, and deserve much more credit than they're given by some (just the same with mental illness...don't get me started).
Just because I haven't personally experienced full blown stim withdrawals doesn't make them any less real, and really it's just not even possible to compare (existent) withdrawals from these two very different classes of substances, and unfair to make such judgements when you've only experienced the one side of the debate. Both of them produce their own form of hell, under the right circumstances.Neither can/should be dismissed, disregarded, or understated.
But I will say, people give way too much stock to physical withdrawals in contrast to psychological.....the power of the brain is commonly and very mistakenly underestimated here.....it does control everything within a human after all, so why write off the legitimacy and potential/capability of its power on this topic? It can create chaos beyond our wildest imagination, credit is most certainly due- and respect for those actually experiencing it is a must....especially if they're to recover. How would it be for a person to belittle the one going through opioid withdrawals in some way? I won't do it to either type of sufferer.
This, as with most everything to do with the psych, I take very seriously- if that has gone unnoticed. Suppose I don't really take it lightly when others treat such things as if they're nothing. Because I can tell you for fact that they're not- and it doesn't matter who you are, there's no discrimination. I don't take mental illness at all lightly, just as I don't take psychological addiction/withdrawal lightly- some people are simply incapable of understanding or admitting the immeasurable power of the human brain, nor it's capabilities of destruction- it's not imaginary if your brain perceives it as real, for one. Secondly, it does suffer badly if it's so used to this substance providing what it needs to function/operate properly, and the substance is suddenly taken away....especially when said substance drains up reserves of neurotransmitters (and basically makes impossible to regain anything resembling balance without the substance, even for a few weeks post-cessation) and various others affected. Your brain reacts to missing the chemical by creating a violent fucking hellish experience (if a person is in deep enough or circumstances allow), one which I don't care to experience, and will personally take measures against even the chance of future occurrence. One which I wouldn't wish for another person, same as with mental illness. Both are simply too cruel, no matter how much belief someone has in them.....you bet your ass they'd have a change of heart right quick....
That aside, OP, I made the particular part of my post (counseling, etc) probably a little out of anger, and I apologize (sorry for the unnecessary BS, but I do stand by everything else)- and I hope my perception of you and your behavior was mistaken. I will say though, I've known couples with stronger relationships than anyone else I've seen go to such things and actually find some benefit within them, coming out even stronger than before somehow.....most everyone could benefit from shit like that whether they admit it or not.....and for all I know, I misperceived you (so easy to do over web) and your relationship, and it's a near perfect one....but hell, still couldn't be such a bad thing if done with open mind and all that. Still, my initial post was more on the anger/insulting side than this second take on the comment, so I make no excuses and my apology stands as genuine and true as my initial proclamation of it. A nicer, brighter, more positive take on it doesn't excuse my initial intent and behavior, so nothing has changed in my apology.
I also hope you will begin to frequent BL because there really is an insane, vast wealth of knowledge residing here with many of its members- even if there are the rare disagreements from time to time. If you're looking for HR, this is the place- of course, utilizing legitimate, credited, factual sources should always be your first stop....but beyond that, I personally have found no better than BL over MANY years.. I probably lurked longer than most (couldn't count years on two hands lol) before I grew a pair to register lol....much better brain collective seems to be drawn to this site than the others, no matter who comes and goes (though best of wishes to those gone, and respect for those GONE gone....there have been greats lost, but other greats seem to continuously fill shoes, so there's always quality), I've found there's always at least a few incredibly intelligent people active here, able to assist and gladly dedicate a few moments of their time to do so. I hope I haven't detracted you at all from accessing this incredible tool through my own frustration-driven words, people (including myself) are generally quite welcoming here, despite any image I may have portrayed- and I hope my reasons behind it can be understood and truly considered....just really consider the truth here that when it comes to addiction, there's really not room for dick-sizing withdrawals....it's simply not beneficial to anyone in any way, besides, it's simply just not a competition able of being quantified nor a winner decided.....it's apples and fucking carrots. It is absolutely real, absolutely and genuinely legitimate, but I understand it can be difficult for many people to "get" if you haven't experienced it or something similar/relatable yourself. All I'm saying is consider what's been said, maybe research through credible sources, gain a bit of understanding, and please show respect to these occurrences and the people experiencing it....you don't need full on relatable-level of understanding to do any of this. And remember that just because you're not fully understanding of someone's pain or suffering doesn't make it any less real.....and it's not often faked like you're thinking.....and generally, if a pain is faked, it is indeed a call for attention or cry for help for another, TRUE, undisclosed pain....I personally have no reason to believe your girlfriend is feigning in this situation, but if she is, perhaps there is another problem that is needing to be looked at, discussed, or treated- something else she is deeply unhappy with in her life currently that she internalizes? It's worth considering if you truly believe she is the kind of person that would feign this malady at this time.
Back to you ovo- I hope this will be the end of this somewhat feud (for lack of better word), and I hope I may have shed some understanding on me, my posts, my attitude, words, advice, whatever....it all comes from a good place and I hope this post will bring some closure to what seems only to be a misunderstanding or misperception. Just because I suggest people do what's best (or as close to best as possible- gauging each individual situation) doesn't mean I've always been perfect (or ever) or always done the best thing- it simply means I've learned a lot and most of the value I can actually feel anymore lies within helping others- with as much as I've learned on some of these subjects, and what I know the consequences of fucking around to be.....I can only offer what I know could possibly save a person (not to mention the possibility of horrible responsibility felt if a person were to meet consequences due to me disregarding HR and telling them only fun or pleasure matters.....when those things should ride backseat to HR). My conscience won't allow otherwise, and I see no issue in that, and I hope you will understand this well enough now after this bit of explanation (not that I feel it is due, but in the hopes of peace and better outcomes for everyone) to either appreciate, or at least accept and respect my methods. Just as I will accept your ways.
I'm far from religious, but I have come to realize and do admit maybe I preach HR a bit more than most (been told in real life too that perhaps I approach substance use a bit too seriously), I guess it simply doesn't make sense that it's off-putting to anyone....maybe draconian authoritative laws of prohibition are appropriate in such a society that scoffs at something so legitimate, yet so simple, as HR. But that's another discussion, and for the record, I am not for prohibition of any substance (which I'd enjoy a debate on if anyone would like through PM or an appropriate thread). I do believe, however, that being that this is a site dedicated to harm reduction, that my posts are more than appropriate, and I even try to tone down on "preaching" certain subjects I feel strongly about, because I don't serve to annoy or bother either. But there is great reason I feel so strongly about certain things, not because it's "righteous", but because I factually know the potential consequences (and I also try to make clear that each person and each case is different, so you may not experience, etc).....and the amount of risk taken before reaching such consequences varies greatly and depends greatly on the individual.....sometimes, only the smallest bit can do it.....but I try to be balanced in this as much as possible. I know people tend to care less about the HR aspect opposed to the pleasure aspect.....so I do my best to be mindful of this in what I say, but I won't outright blow off the laws of HR I know or wholeheartedly believe to be of highest importance in order to do so. It's important to me, and I might be incapable lol. I truly believe I have been as loose and balanced as possible, allowing all freedom possible where safe but warning against possible dangers when they are presented, and fully intend to continue this trend under good conscience and intent. And it's not as if people are forced to use my advice anyway, it's simply there if they choose to (which I'd hope, as long as my advice is decent). I doubt anyone will be struck by lightening if they go against my advice to use someone else's....but I would hope no consequences are encountered EITHER way.
I honestly, truly believe I have done a good, and fair job of my contributions as a member thus far, and unless you can provide things to the contrary to my inbox for consideration, I hope this realization can be made by you as well, and that we can work better together in the future.
Otherwise, my interest in this particular discussion is completely drained and any further retorts of negativity will be ignored.
My only hope here really, is that some light has been shed and will have a positive impact- and apologies for the novel (if you even finished).
Looking forward to positive interactions hopefully to follow.....
All the best,
-PA