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Meth recovery help please

S

STLcardinals2

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 11, 2014
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44
Here is the deal. IV Heroin addict for 2 years. AA/NA meetings and sober for 3 years. Relapsed on IV meth and just cant stop. Been using for 6 months.
Use almost everyday and still a secret to my work, my wife, parents, friends. Literally only persoj who know is my dealer (who happens to be my old sponser). I don't know how I have made it this long without people knowing.
I am not broke yet, but getting there. Sneaking money from my amazing wife who continues to believe my lies. Tried to stop over Christmas, made it 2.5 weeks and went back out.
I always say itll be the last bag, then go get another. I truely want to stop this time!
I know eventually I will have to tell my wife, but I want to go to a meeting first and find another sponser. I just need some advice and help!
Tried to quit and keep use secret and it didnt work. I know I have to tell my wife, but it scares me and I dont even know where to begin.
Withdrawls arent physically bad, just sleep and eating, but its a mental fucking for sure.
I managed to keep a job, and want to continue to work and not go
to rehab. Just meetings and sponser and that jazz, but idk how rough withdrawls will be past 2 weeks. Depression is basically unbearable and anger, anxiety, and cravings for the needle are gonna be awful. But I put myself here, and I need to stop.
Glad I didnt end up in prison, and want to hit bottom before I am in jail cell.

Any advice would be welcomed. How do I make this bag my last?
 
The truth is always the best policy. Trust is a huge factor in dealing with addicts- and if you come out upfront and admit your relapse, you will be able to build the trust up back faster rather than if they found out on their own accord. I would call a family meeting- come clean- and deal with it from there- taking everyone's viewpoints and concerns into consideration as far as a treatment plan/ therapy goes for you. Good luck!
 
Meth kills the serotonin balance, hence the unbearable depression. Get a prescription for some good antidepressants. Then get a new sponsor or therapist, and get a game plan to work through the issues that the drugs were helping you avoid (AA/NA--you know the drill). And yeah, doing it on your own is tough. Good job keeping it together this far. But your relationships will grow stronger if you let people help! Or if the relationships fail then maybe that teaches you something too.
 
it sounds like you had just forgotten that you are more than capable of quitting,and as soon as you think back and remember how you quit the first time,then that is the key to getting the job done.from your one message i have read i can tell you are intelligent and "in need" enough to make this happen.arrange a meeting ,get a sponsor,and definitely be up front and honest with those close to you,as "the writer" of the other reply mentioned.they will be invaluable to you and you will also be of great value to them,and how much more so,when you have accomplished it.i have found personally that asking for help and understanding from god will basically "seal the deal" for you,and being a drug user i presume you have seen and witnessed enough stuff in this world to have some degree of knowledge of god and life 'et al'.i know when you decide to put your mind and effort into it, then you will have already have achieved what you needed to.i hope all the best for you,and just remember that every single person to live,had lived and those to come who will live,have and will all need some sort of help from somewhere,so you just make sure you don't let yourself feel the false emotions (of shame and feeling sorry for yourself) that so often come with such a strong and courageous act as withdrawing from drugs.may GOD bless you and help with your task.x
 
Thanks for the encouragement all. I will keep you posted on how it goes... So nervous but kind of excited to get this out of the way. So much baggage has come and letting that good has to feel good.
 
So I posted this on 2-18 and its 3-4...
I have 3 days clean and sober from all mind-altering substances; including meth.
Told my wife, went to meetings, got a sponser.
Basically sleeping and eating when not at work, and havent had needle/meth craving too bad yet. I know its coming, but I have to live day at a time. Wish me luck guys.
 
Good luck man. You can do it stay strong! That's good to see that you came clean and got the support you need.
 
STLcardinals2 said:
So I posted this on 2-18 and its 3-4...
I have 3 days clean and sober from all mind-altering substances; including meth.
Told my wife, went to meetings, got a sponser.
Basically sleeping and eating when not at work, and havent had needle/meth craving too bad yet. I know its coming, but I have to live day at a time. Wish me luck guys.
Click to expand...

best of luck man. I have a few months off hard drugs and needles.
 
congrats bro,

wierdest thing today. cravings have been bad but expected. havent gave in but in a dream i acted like i wanted to say fuck it, then i woke up and didnt want to relapse. weird what our subconscious will do to us.
 
Get some OTC Benzedrex. It's much easier on the mind and body and sleeping and eating patterns than meth is. And it's legal.
 
Dresden said:
Get some OTC Benzedrex. It's much easier on the mind and body and sleeping and eating patterns than meth is. And it's legal.
Click to expand...

Yeah... don't do this. It's basically a legal form of meth. if he wants to get clean this is a really bad idea.

OP, how you doing lately?
 
Hey guys,

Tomorrow I will have 2 weeks sober. Working steps w my sponser, still working my job as a coach, and attending meetings.

Withdrawls were rough while working. Went on a roadtrip day 5,6,7 and either was at the field or sleeping. Awful. But withdrawls are done, normal eating pattern coming back, and sleep pattern is leveling out.

Worst part hands down are the needle and rush cravings. Cant fall asleep bc constantly think about that, dreams are filled with needle thoughts. At church today, couldnt even look at my arms/crook of elbow bc all i do i visualize veins and see tracks. Its really shitty.

BUT.
1. Havent picked up yet (day at a time)
2. Pray for help in morning, and thanks at night helps.
3. Not far with steps yet, but working through them with my sponser.

I know im not far and definatly not out of the woods (are we ever really?). But I am at least okay right now. Sober, no jail, not dead... at this point its all I can ask for. Ill keep you all posted occasionally. Thanks for the support and feedback.

P.S.
Definatly not going to try any new OTC meds. First, nothing is ever like meth peroid. Second, substituting drugs for an addict and alcoholic never works. Ive tried.
 
WELL DONE,hope you are sticking with it and enjoying the relationships you have now without the feelings of being deceitful to your loved ones,those close to you,again well done and keep on keeping on,keep on keeping strong!:D
 
WELL DONE,hope you are sticking with it and enjoying the relationships you have now without the feelings of being deceitful to your loved ones,those close to you,again well done and keep on keeping on,keep on keeping strong!
 
Your body will thank you for it stay strong I was severe alcoholic for 15 years n cold turkeyd it hardcore withdrawal but look back now best thing I ever did . Congrats
 
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