Meth meth go away... Positive support needed please!

[Anontoall29]

Hi all.
I am currently struggling to quit my meth addiction. My whole world has fallen apart and has now picked back up and yet each time I try to stop, all I can do is sleep and eat and long for energy and some sort of motivation and passion for life to return. I convince myself I will get a little more just to get through and slowly wean off so the crash is not so intense.
It doesn't work that way. I have read all the articles and although I wouldn't say I am a heavy, heavy user I am addicted and can't see light at the end of the tunnel. I just want some guidance, support and positive influences so I can stand strong and do this. No one in my world knows about my addiction. I function as any normal person would and no one would ever even begin to think I am on meth almost daily. I hate the guilt and the lack of control I have on this. Please help me.

 

[Allein]

Hi Anontoall29, welcome to Bluelight

I'd like to think you'll find some of the support and positivity here, just making this thread shows that you are starting to make some internal commitments to breaking free of this unwanted cycle of behaviour.

The feelings of guilt are extremely destructive and serve little purpose other than to drive you further into trouble, they are part of your problems. I don't know you but it sounds like you're holding a life together, give yourself some credit for some of those things.

I've had an ongoing struggle with stimulants for many years and whilst I've not used daily long term but it's a habit that has a hold over me and your feelings of lack of control are familiar, but ultimately these are decisions we are taking.

IME when you have responsibilities with work and other things it's easy to get trapped into needing to dose, it's 5am you need to be at work at 8am what choice do you have but to dose up and keep on rolling ?..

Have you managed to not use for more than a couple of weeks recently ? IME it takes about this long to start feeling better in terms of mood and energy, when you're caught in the cycle it's hard to see how to step off the train. I don't have any 'silver bullet' answers but you can take back control, you don't need this stuff to function and with a some planning and a support you can break free.

I'm sure other people will have advice and thoughts, feel free to PM me anytime

 

[Maya]

Hi OP, many of us here have struggled with addiction, withdrawal, relapse and getting back on the feet again. Even if my addiction was more on alcohol, i have also struggled with other substances and stimulants are actually thr second addiction i have gone into. If this is your first time quitting, it wilk be tough but if like what colleague allein have mentioned, if you focus on your life priorities and get busy with other important things, it will help you eith recovery. This is what's keepin me from abusing again. I have also developed a passion on working out, not only will it make you feel good but would also make you look good and it's the healthier way!

 

[herbavore]

Glad you joined. You can do this. I hope that you will find a lot of support here. It is a day to day struggle and a thread like this can help you stay connected to it with intention and accountability--feel free to write in it whenever you need to.
Check out this thread over in Sober Living as well.
Keeping everything a secret can really weigh on you and while you need to protect your life it would be good if there were at least one safe person to confide in--is there anyone like that in your life right now?

 

[Xorkoth]

Exercise/working out really does help with everything in life, especially recovery from addictions. Not only will you feel stronger and healthier and more energetic, but your brain will repair itself much faster and you'll produce endorphins which will elevate your mood. I can't stress enough how helpful it's been to me in recovering from opiate addiction. At first it will probably be hard because of low energy but give it a week even, and you'll notice big improvements. Cardio is most important, but gaining muscle (especially in your core) will also be great. What I did was join the Y (if you're not in the US, it's a sort of community gym), it's $50 a month but I am saving so much more than that per month because of not buying drugs so I can afford it and I'm guessing the same is true for you. I find it much easier to actually do this way, rather than trying to do it at home, but you can do it at home too, you just have to be more creative and summon more willpower. It's one of my favorite parts of my day now, but when I started and it was hard, I just had to make myself drive there, and then I was there, so what else would I be doing but working out?

 

[Anontoall29]

Thanks all. Tomorrow is my 30th birthday and my quit day. I feel positive about it this time. I know I don't want or need the meth any longer and although my brain keeps wanting to lead me into a different thought pattern (get a little more just to get through the weekend so I don't feel like sleeping constantly) but I'm not entertaining those thoughts right now. I am so sick of the never ending cycle and can't wait for some normality again!

 

[dlinuc]

Thanks all. Tomorrow is my 30th birthday and my quit day. I feel positive about it this time. I know I don't want or need the meth any longer and although my brain keeps wanting to lead me into a different thought pattern (get a little more just to get through the weekend so I don't feel like sleeping constantly) but I'm not entertaining those thoughts right now. I am so sick of the never ending cycle and can't wait for some normality again!

I hear exactly how you're feeling brother. I'm going through the same struggle at the moment.
Keeping your mind focused on other things like life itself will bring you out of the rut.

Just remember that you're better than meth and you definitely don't NEED it.

Peace

 

[Azure Cloud]

I was addicted to amphetamine for years and opiates for over a decade before that. Proper diet and forcing yourself to exercise are two of the best things you can do for yourself right now. Those two simple things will do more for speeding up your recovery than anything else. Also I stopped smoking cigarettes so that wouldn't hamper my energy levels during recovery as well.

I find forcing myself into social situations can actually make me forget that I need amphetamine to feel good (natural dopamine release)

Motivation is going to be an act of deliberate willpower, at least for a while. Basically, for about 2 weeks after I stopped taking amphetamines, I needed to rationalize why anything was important and/or rewarding before I could force myself to do get off the couch and do it. I had to find very meaningful almost spiritual personal reasons to do Jack shit for those 2 weeks.

In my experience getting off stimulants does get better very quickly (compared to other drugs like opiates). I'm only 3.5 weeks off stimulants and it is like night and day compared to how I felt just a couple of weeks ago.

Once the complete lack of energy ends, its just a mental game.

You can do this, good luck!

 

[Captain.Heroin]

You will have to be all right with sleeping in a few days and eating a lot, and eventually you will feel better.

Try to be able to have time set aside so you can be as comfortable as possible.

Happy 30th!