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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Meth destroys everything

J

Joshg3081

Greenlighter
Joined
May 30, 2011
Messages
2
Well, I posted on here during November 2010 time frame. let me tell you that I was not in good shape at all. I had lost my job ($40k a year job at that!), was broke, had no apt or home and family wanted nothing to do with me. For some reason I thought it would be a great choice to smoke speed with a friend of mine. I had been doing street drugs every since I got outta the Marines. I thought that drug use would mask what problems I had aquired after the war. I was wrong... I was homeless, broke, and had no food. I was lucky that I still had my car. The only person that would let me stay with them was my best friend throughout childhood. ---- This is when things started to get really bad. My unemployment started kicking in so I could afford to pay him rent money. All I was doing was donating money for more meth. I was a full blown addict within a few weeks. I got so bad I couldnt even wait to smoke it, so I started just snorting it. This drug is like an invisible virus that sweeps through your soul eliminating anything good or loving in your life. Some people love to rationalise their Meth use and bring up excuses to keep using it. In the end they are only lieing to themselves. Of course at first using with my friend helped us bond better, we would talk to hours upon hours laughing etc...but when we came down the drug was all that was on our minds. after about a 4 month benge of just getting high, then sleeping....I started having crazy panic attacks....I emailed my father and asked for help..tell him that if I didnt recieve help I would die or end up in prison. I didnt want either. I got down on my knees and cried, praying that I could make it through these times. I was rushed to the VA hospitol where I recieved treatment, and still am to this day. I am 60 days clean of that terrible drug. It cost me my credit, my family, my son, and a marriage. I plead to others reading this. You can stop doing meth, take it one day at a time. It might take years to finally fully recover but it can be done!. I now have a relationship with my family and get to see my son all the time! I am attending college and working partime. I never thought it would be possible.

you can email me at [email protected] is you want any tips on how I stoped smoking meth or any questions regarding drugs.
 
yeah its good to see your doing better. i watched first hand what that shit does from my mom growing up ( shes clean now thank god ). i believe meth is the worst thing their is after seing sum stuff. just keep doing what your doing man.
 
Hey joshg3081,

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm afraid it doesn't belong in Other Drugs however as we are a more technical harm reduction forum. I'm going to going to swing this over to The Dark Side for you which is a great forum of supportive people who have dealt with or are dealing with difficult addiction issues such as this.

OD >>> TDS
 
Yeah, meth (as well as crack) tend to bring people down to their knees faster than other drugs. And recovery can be a bitch. Of the drug users I know, the ones on meth ended up the worst after a few months.

Opiates, which often seem to be the drug of choice for most people on this forum, seem to be tolerated for a longer period of time. But the ones that didn't do as swimmingly - well, they're dead.
 
That shit makes people evil. Bottom line I've seen it first hand. It turns a good person evil. Only idiots would do meth when you got X out there anyway... (and X causes a lot of problems too if abused but at least the buzz is far more enjoyable than meth and the drug itself is far less toxic)
 
But combining meth with ecstasy gives the best buzz although its even MORE toxic then when combined. I had the unfortuante experience of ODing on both together back in the day when pills were strongest. In 1999 I took the equilivelent of about 50 pills at once, some were pure meth and the other were pure mdma. So, I just went off the chart and I shouldnt even be alive today. Just another expeirnece I survived that god helped me through. I'm starting to think I'm not meant to die and I dont worry about death ever even if I do something that most would call dangerous, I know I'm protected. I know it's not my time to die.
 
thank you so much for your story and posting this.

i needed so badly to hear this.

ive been an addict/alcoholic for 7 years...but recently i got into meth. i was using it with my boyfriend for a year straight. things got very dark very fast. this drug is intense. i believe there is a strange evilness with this drug. it changes a person completely and totally. it overtakes you. i know all drugs do this...but with meth, its different.

i have 35 days clean from meth. the longest ive gone without it since ive been using it. my stepdad died on thursday, i didnt feel like using then. but my friend called me today and said if i just gave him a ride to get some meth, he'd smoke with me. i did have bad cravings to use it today, i almost gave in, i almost said FUCK IT and used. but i didnt.

ive done every drug there is. and i can say [for me] that meth is by far the HARDEST ive ever struggled to quit. recovery from meth is possible. its fuckin tough as shit but it is not impossible. your story helped me out alot, more than you know. thank you.
 
congrats josh3081= hands down ,meth is the most canniving drug there is that will creep up on you from monthly social user to wont go to work unless you puff the magic dragon ...in fact,thats how it got me.

Lack of mdma,has led to a massive increase in meth use.trouble is you hit mdma fri + sat night,hurt sun+ mon and fuken struggle tuesday ,but rarely is the desire there to roll during the week..tho ive done it many a time...

With meth,your still up monday morning from fri night,and unfortunately for me,my daily wage far outweighed the cost to get tweeked,so id smoke monday. Maybe a day or two off.....then its flat out

You then disassociate from your normal frie ds,activities,family and your thoughts..its all you think about..id start arguements with my fiance,just so i could storm out and smoke..you look straight through people...even the ones you thought you would never hurt.

I read these stories so many times..no more than 2 months later,ive lost fiance,moving back home,blew around 20grand in 3 months,lost friends,.ad lost the aility to get any euphoria from any noral activity.making life fucken misserable.

Back to where i was 5 years ago with the coke... Bu t i know this has shit has changed me..repairable??? Maybe,hopefully,but i know one thing...its a long haul ahead...

If josh's thread deters one person from taking the step from 'try meth' to the 'hope no one bothers me today so i can tweek in peace' level then its done its job.

Good luck and strong will everyone...and the best and hardest bit of advice i have about meth use is.....bail on your friends that u twirl glass with..you may look like a sell out,but eventually they will b your downfall.

Look after your self josh.all the best with the young fella.and college.give him a father wnos a real man tht he can look up to.
 
Thank you all for your replys to this thread. Addiction is something that will remain apart of my life, but its how I deal with that addiction that will keep me breathing air to this day. I used to trade one addiction for another etc. Some people make the choice not to quit and keep on going, everyone has that right. I appreciate the responses. The biggest way I have been able to stay clean was cutting all my ties to those that abused any kind of narcotic. I wish everyone good luck in this fight against meth.
-defeat is not bitter unless swallowed
 
Yeh well the good thing about meth ruining your life is you are that much less likely to ever go back to it again.
As disgustingly powerful as my addiction was to meth, the whole cooking it and buying all the chemicals. Purifying and gassing it, having handfuls of this shit everyday for free. It was a mess. And the profit I made off of selling it too was ridiculous. So initially it started with meth, but before I knew it I was buying tons of coke, crack and doing meth/coke/crack tons a day everyday for 3 years straight. But it was the meth that got to my brain the most and made me really lose it.

I've typed my story on here before about prison and how my meth psychosis slowly started. And about the years afterwards I remained sober just to struggle with side effects. But the good part is it was VERY easy for me to stay away from this drug after a certain point. Nothing like opiates in that respect. Opiates can ruin my life and I always go back to them it seems. But meth there is no temptation whatsoever to go back even remembering how much a rush it use to give me. I think because I've finally come to realize that meth really IS more of a poison than it is a drug. It makes you feel insanely euphoric (more than opiates ever could), gives you energy, keeps you awake, makes sex feel great even though you can't finish. But the list of downsides never ends. Psychosis, paranoia everyday you're awake, INTENSE paranoia, hallucinations, malnourished, anxiety, depression, heart problems, oversecretion of adrenaline, panic attacks, eventually developed panic disorder completely, high blood pressure I've had for all of the 10 years after I quit meth, for the last 2 years I've had stage 2 hypertension. I don't believe I would have any of these issues if it wasn't for the meth.
That shit breaks both your brain and body down fast. But getting past all that shit made me stronger than I could ever have imagined. And I'll tell you what its really given me a perspective on addiction that I would have never gotten elsewhere.

Like even though I'm addicted to opiates now, and hate it, having an opiate addiction now is NOTHING like when I was using speed. Its really a walk in the park and although theres wds and depression/anxiety afterwards at least you know what reality is and is not. Meth took me to another planet psychologically. And it wore me out like no drug ever could. So I don't look at my opiate addiction now and overexagerate things to make myself feel worse. I have perspective and tend to treat the addiction a little too casually. Although a part of me likes it like that. I also don't inject opiates so I'm sure it could get worse. But theres just no comparison to what meth does to the mind.
That shit is a true battle. I think for the first 3 years alone that I was off meth and sober all I thought about every single day was how badly I wanted to kill myself. With opiates its really just a few months and usually I snap back psychologically. With meth its been 10 years and I still haven't snapped back 100%. Maybe 98% but I'm ok with that now. I'd really take any addiction in the world before I'd take a meth addiction again. Thats why it bothers me so much when I see young college students on here hooked on adderal. I never messed with adderal and I'm sure its not near as dirty as meth is, but it has to have some similar properties to meth, and I really feel for anyone addicted to any type of amphetamine, methamphetamine, amphetamine, dextroamphetamines, methyldioxylmethamphetamines, anything like that you really need to stay away from. Although I never got those paranoid delusions really from MDMA, but I'd still stay the eff away from it. Use to be one of my favorite drugs too but no thank you.
 
Just thought I'd share that I too hate the use of Meth...

I'm not going to get into detail, but someone who I thought was my best friend shot and killed an innocent old man while high on meth. He's now in Jail for the rest of his life. He deserves it.

Earlier, when he first started getting into his addiction, he locked himself in his room for 2 weeks straight, literally smoking it until his brain was mush, and went insane. He came out 2 weeks later with cuts all over himself, skinny as fuck, pale, paranoid, and just over-all insane. When I saw him, he was sitting on his couch counting his pocket change and looking in the couch for extra money, while rocking back and forth and scratching himself until he bled. It was the worst sight I've ever seen. I've known this guy since I was a kid. I grew up with him, he was like a brother to me...

Fuck, just writing about that makes me tear up. I don't usually share that story with people. I've seen what Meth can do... God, is it ever a nightmare.
 
Some people here might like to know that threads like this actually do make a difference to some people. I visit TDS every now and then out of interest and thanks to seeing threads of this nature crop up so regularly I have never once touched meth. Stay strong brother :)
 
Joshg3081, I feel you, man! By age 16 I was already a full-blown meth addict. I quit using meth the first week of October in 2009; I have not touched meth since that date. It wasn't until I associated meth with the worst experience of my life that I decided to call it quits. As time had progressed with my addiction, the people who I was around became very, very unsavoury. I have seen a lot of drug related crimes, some of them excruciatingly disturbing. With that said, it took me six years of meth addiction (usage in every possible way) to give it up. After six years of dealing with criminals, sex offenders, drug dealers, things I am not even going to post for the sake of my own identity...the highs associated with the drug simply did not even begin to justify the lows. Once you have reached a point where the pain associated with the drug is far greater than the high, if you are smart, you will be done. I'm glad to hear that you are done!
 
^^ I started at 16 too and used it for 7 years, daily when I was on, with some weeks off when I tried to get straight. I'm now coming up to 5 months clean and I know I'll never use it again. It's crazy, I was so addicted. OP, Good on you for quitting, but with a 4 month addiction I don't really believe you know what you're talking about.
 
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