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Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion Only - V.2: MERGED with amps quitting thread

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I did take some good breaks. I sure hope I didn't do too much damage. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be my normal self again. Its hard for me to believe that I went from being anti meth to being an addict. Its funny how life turns out sometimes. I could kick myself in the ass for going back to it after a year of being clean. Everyone was proud of me and I was proud of myself. My life was actually going good when I relapsed. I never used to go looking for meth. It used to always seem to find me and tempt me until I would give in. That's how I ended up where I am today. A month clean from meth but still trying to kick my percocet/ms contin/alcohol addictions.:(
 
Fuck, I don't know how much more of these withdrawals I can take. I'm panicky, irritable, restless, and my muscles are aching all over. Yesterday I had to take 100mg of valium and heaps of clonazepam to try to ease the withdrawals, and I've probably taken a similar dose today. I'm so tempted just to pick up my cell phone and txt a local dealer. I'd have a fix in 10 minutes. :!
 
I gave in... couldn't handle the withdrawals any longer.

Loading up my pipe right now. :(
 
Shucks Sweet P - I was really hoping you could make it. I am going through the same thing for 2010 giving up crack for good ... please don't give up and maybe you can continue to try to quit soon.
 
Yeah, I definitely always have to tell my dealers to never sell to me again. I'm not sure if they actually would or not, but I'm usually too ashamed to go back and beg even though I told them not to sell. Although I usually always just find someone new....
 
I made sure that I left myself owing my dealer money, enough so he'd be pissed not to return my call, but not enough to come after me for it.
 
Sweet P-

I think it is common for us addicts to relapse. The important thing is to keep trying. I know all of us can beat our addictions, we just have to keep trying!!!!:)
 
Just letting you all know that I'll be gone for a few days - going into detox. I saw a psychiatrist today who is also considering trialling me on dexamphetamine as a methadone-like replacement for methamphetamine, since I'm classed as a "chronic user". I'm SO hoping I get that prescription! :)
 
I think that might be an good idea for addicts, a less harmful stim, for maintenance. I was so surprised when I went to rehab and they cut me off cold turkey from a pretty serious meth habit, but were very sure to taper down my benzo habit. I could swear that meth is more harmful. I know the risk of seizure etc from benzo withdrawal, but it seemed ridiculous at the time.
Then again, it stop me from bouncing of the walls for a bit....
 
keylog58 said:
Just want to add to my above post.....
I don't want to sound like I am trying to recommend anything, sorry about that, but I do think that it is a good idea to taper any sort of drug addiction.... even milder addictions like marijuana. Quitting cold turky is too harsh, and I believe that pushes people to relapse.

Prescription methamphetamine (desoxyn) doesn't seem much different from prescription amphetamine (adderall). I would argue that there very little difference. Most meth addicts find that adderall is not that strong because they are used to smoking or shooting it, which provides an instant high. When taking amphetamine orally, it takes a while to peak on it, maybe 3 or 4 hours. So there is not the same euphoric rush....so it is the route of ingestion that is important. Taking any drug orally won't be as addictive as taking smoking or shooting it. This is especially seen with nicotine addiction. Cigarette smokers often have trouble switching to nicotine gum because it doesn't provide that instant buzz that cigarettes do.

So, in terms of addictive routes of administration:
Shooting>Smoking>Snorting>Swallowing

I have known some recreational cocaine users who were able to control their use, but once they get into smoking crack, their use turns into a serious addiction. I have even read about some animal based study that said rats, when given the opportunity in a lab setting, that rats will continue to inject amphetamine repeatedly until they die, but they won't eat amphetamine to the same extent.

Anyways, I am not recommending to switch from smoking meth to snorting or swallowing it, but I would think that it would be somewhat less addicting as the rush would be less pronounced.....just my two cents.
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As to the cocaine thing, I was definitely that way. Sure, I found it mildly addictive when I snorted it, but it was never a big issue. Now I never smoked crack, but when I first shot up coke, it took ahold of me psychologically INSTANTLY once I got a good bellringer. The rush is definitely very addictive, although I will not deny that one can get addicted to drugs even through less addictive MOAs.
 
Sweet P said:
Just letting you all know that I'll be gone for a few days - going into detox. I saw a psychiatrist today who is also considering trialling me on dexamphetamine as a methadone-like replacement for methamphetamine, since I'm classed as a "chronic user". I'm SO hoping I get that prescription! :)
Click to expand...

Good luck Sweet P. Let us know how everything goes!!!
 
^ Thanks! I discharged myself from the hospital this morning (I hate that place, and their detox facility sucks) so I'm back at home now. Apparently I'll hear from the shrink on Monday, who'll tell me whether or not I qualify for dexies or ritalin to help with the meth cravings. Hopefully it'll be good news.
 
I relapsed last night.:(
I had been clean for a month and was doing so good. I saw one of my old buddies at the store and next thing I knew I was hiding in the bathroom of my house snorting lines. A month of clean time gone just that quickly. My addict mind is trying to tell me that it will be different this time. It lies when it tells me that this time I won't let things get out of hand.
Things can spiral out of control very quickly with a drug like meth. I stayed up all night then had to work all day today in a daze with customers looking at me like I was the devil himself. The psychosis seems to hit sooner and last longer every time that I use. I think meth brings out some underlying mental health issues that I have. Does anyone know anything about that?
I told myself I wouldn't use tonight but Crystal keeps calling me.
Dammit!:!
 
^ It's easy to fall into the trap of 'oh well I've fucked up now, I may as well continue using', but if you think about it it doesn't make sense - using more will just lead to even more regret, more money spent etc. Lapses are such a common part of recovery but the trick is to see them as learning experiences - think about what made it happen? Getting on is usually the end result of a long chain of events/thoughts so think about the last two weeks to see if you can identify anything that maybe led to this lapse. Maybe some rough emotions, or just not consciously being vigilant to avoid triggers, sources etc. Sometimes you do just encounter surprises that you can't avoid, but still no need to turn a lapse into a relapse.

Instead of thinking about being on day 1 now, I find it helps to think you've still only had one day of using and 30 off. I'm sure you can get right back on the wagon now <3
 
Thank you. :)
You made several good points. I once heard that meth addicts have the highest rate of relapse. The important part for me is to keep trying. Sometimes it seems like it is easier to use than to be sober. Staying sober seems like hard work sometimes. I don't want to start using all the time again. I can't use and have the type of life I want. It's just not possible for me to function normally when I am using. I go crazy when I am using heavily. It's definitely not good for mental health. I have been having some problems the past couple of weeks. Also a lot of intense old emotions and memories have been popping up lately. I try not to dwell on the past but a lot of things were suppressed by the drugs and booze. Eventually I have to face it all, let myself heal, and move on.
 
I quit amps for about 9 months. When I realized I still had no motivation or energy, I went back. For me, its a lost cause. At least i'm now prescribed dexamphetamine, which is, in my opinion, the one with the least harsh high, and the least harsh crash.

But man, when they say it takes years for your brain to heal, they actually mean years! who woulda thought.
 
dizzychainsaw said:
Thank you. :)
It's definitely not good for mental health. I have been having some problems the past couple of weeks. Also a lot of intense old emotions and memories have been popping up lately. I try not to dwell on the past but a lot of things were suppressed by the drugs and booze.
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Hey Dizzychainsaw,
First, congrats on 30 days away from meth, that is amazing. keep on trying!
Also, you mentioned mental illness and meth use. I found in rehab, that all of the meth addicts were all lining up at pill time. It was weird, we all had depression, anxiety, and some schizophrenia. There was an article in the newspaper about meth addicts who had gone into psychosis and hadn't come out. It was in my city, so I kept reading about the doctor who was very concerned. I didn't read anything about him figuring out why certain meth patients would go into psychosis and not come out, but he theorized that those people were predisposed to schizophrenia. I talked to the meth addicts at my rehab, and those that were on anti-psychotics, and weren't using them as atypical anti-depressants, spent a lot of their meth run not sleeping. They would run for days and days. I usually caught a little sleep, I was living with non-users so it was easier, but I came to ponder that this might have helped staving off psychosis. I'm not a doctor, this is my own theory, but it seemed to hold true for what I've seen.
 
my biggest problem with methamphetamine was the comedown. i didnt eat for three days. i dont understand how people come to cope with the comedown. IMO thats the biggest reason to avoid it. I did it for the sake of trying it and never did it again. Almost od'd too the first time. and i was injecting. the whole experience was like getting hit by a truck. For those who found meth to be fun im glad youve decided to stop getting hit by trucks for three days straight.
 
Ive never used meth (ive kinda promised people i wouldnt) the only amphetamine ive used is dextroamphetamine and ive had a few binges on it. Since i already have bipolar disorder with some psychotic features i think meth would be a goddamn disaster.

About the meth addicts going into permanent psychosis. I notice even without stimulants that i start to get mild hallucinations after only 24 hours of no sleep. Dex does not seem to have any effect on the when PA will go crazy time. The longest ive ever stayed up on the stuff is 3 days and i had a complete mental fucking breakdown on the 3rd day. My whole world just came crashing down around me and this was when i was still high mind you. So yeah a run on meth would most likely drive me completely manic and crazy and id end up in the psych ward shot full of anti-psychotics.

Stimulants arent for me i guess atleast not on a regular basis. Freaky though that even when i havent touched any drug that could set off psychosis for weeks/months that i still get some mild hallucinations after being awake 24 hours or a little more. That is unless i take some zyprexa or risperdal and im supposed to be taking the latter everyday anyway.

Needless to say someone already with bipolar disorder who became addicted to amphetamines could go completely off the fucking deep end fairly quickly.
 
^ I'm glad you managed to keep away from it, PA. You're right. Bipolar + methamphetamine = disaster waiting to happen! I'm still waiting for the local drug & alcohol service to get back to me about the treatment for my addiction. My counsellor phoned me yesterday and said they were gonna discuss my case at a team meeting, so hopefully there will be a positive outcome. All my hope is clinging on getting a prescription for dexamphetamine or Ritalin to help with the meth cravings/withdrawals. If they don't give it to me, I don't know what will happen. I'll probably be forced to go back to using meth, cos I just can't deal with all this crap. I've been feeling so horrible lately, I can't take much more of it.
 
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