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Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion Only - V.2: MERGED with amps quitting thread

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Hey Permameth,

For me personally I am unable to do something I enjoy just recreationally, it always ends up a daily issue until I fall out of love with it, and promptly replace with something else.
I've never tried either drug, but I've heard meth is extremely addictive.
IMO if you continue to use recreationally, your use will get more and more frequent until your on it everyday and panicking if you can't score one day.
Of course there's probably some people out there that have used meth now and again and use it as a lot of people use alcohol just weekends or every couple of months, but sites like this lead me to believe most users end up addicted.
 
permameth said:
The only amphetamine I had a problem with is MDMA. For close to a year I did 10+ pills everyday sometimes as much as 15-16. I now take adderrall and love it but that is prescribed. I've been fooling around with meth and 4-FMA because coke/crack has just lost it's magic. Do you think these can be done recreationally or am I on a slippery slope?
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MDMA at that frequency is extremely neurotoxic. There was an old thread here on BL about someone who took mdma every day for a few months and ended up in hospital, and sadly passed away. My best friend used ecstasy daily for a few months as well and ended up extremely sick, and stayed in a psychiatric ward for a decent stretch.

If you really have been taking that amount of mdma daily for ten years, you are incredibly lucky to be able to still post on BL coherently. Given you did mdma at such a frequency for that amount of time, I'd say it is very unlikely that you can use meth, 4-FMA or anything else without an enormous risk of it becoming an addiction.
 
footscrazy said:
MDMA at that frequency is extremely neurotoxic. There was an old thread here on BL about someone who took mdma every day for a few months and ended up in hospital, and sadly passed away. My best friend used ecstasy daily for a few months as well and ended up extremely sick, and stayed in a psychiatric ward for a decent stretch.

If you really have been taking that amount of mdma daily for ten years, you are incredibly lucky to be able to still post on BL coherently. Given you did mdma at such a frequency for that amount of time, I'd say it is very unlikely that you can use meth, 4-FMA or anything else without an enormous risk of it becoming an addiction.
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Perhaps permameth wasn't getting very pure mdma and instead it was meth.. that is pretty common over where I live.. We used to get really good mdma and then when I tried meth for the first time I was like.. wow this is like the good mdma we used to get but stronger!

I used mdma for about a year everyday and I was fine.. just had a few panic attacks near the end, and felt like puking sometimes.. hmm..
 
Hey, I'm just looking for peoples opinions and advice when it comes to mdpv (mostly interested in advice of chronic, everyday users as to how to stop!) Waiting to get into treatment, but is rehab the best route for this drug?
 
RR279 said:
Have 17 days, don't know why I'm craving so much right now after a fairly easy past couple days.

Still intend to pull through, I have no other realistic option. If I have any chance at a full recovery it's by quitinng NOW.
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This was on March, 17th. I ended up making it about 40 days before relapsing.

I've been going harder than ever before, about 150 mg/day. Despite the fact that I've been maintaining dental care even better than before I used I've even started to develop a case of mild meth mouth and it now hurts when I chew. I've decided as of last night I'm gonna give quitting another go.

Also, does anyone else find that they're disgusted by the taste of Adderall after an addiction to them? I literally gag whenever one of the pills hits my throat, the taste of adderall in my mouth has now become incredibly vial. I used to not mind it when I was still in the honeymoon phase.

It's as if my body is conscious to the fact that the taste is connected to the damage it's doing to myself and is trying to prevent further damage through whatever means possible.
 
<Edited quote at user request>

Thanks! I was bored enough to go through your thread history to try to find more recovery stores/advice, it definitely sounds like you're doing much better than when you started!

I've tried to do small amounts of amps, but if I have a supply laying around I just can't control myself, which is incredibly unfortunate considering the fact that I have a horrible case of ADHD which has really taken it's toll on my life and I could have likely received great help from taking them properly.

I would likely be in a much more fulfilling place in my life if I took them as prescribed from the get-go, but there is no use crying over spilt milk I suppose. I just have to make the best of what I'm left with and move on.
 
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Well I used today, I had about 1 'binge' worth of amps left from my script so I took what was left in what I rationalized as a way to make sure I didn't have anything to screw up my sobriety once I got started. Not sure whether it was genuine or a subconcious attempt to make sure I got my fix, I DO in all fairness have a far easier time fighting the urge to get more amps than I do to actually resist using them when they're already in my posession.

On a related note, the decision that fucked over my life(via a chain of events that stemmed from my speed use) was finally overturned today after 5 long months. If I work hard enough I'll finally be able to start my career in 2-3 months or so. It involves a lot of studying, which is going to be difficult as my use has turned my memory and focus/concentration to shit, but with enough persistence I should undoutably pull through.

I have ginko and plenty of omega 3 supplements, does anyone have any ideas for additonal memory aids?
 
Piracetam might help with memory. I'd just make sure to take it with choline otherwise it can cause headaches.

A big thing that helped me for memory has been puzzles, like word puzzles and sudoku and other things like that. I really think keeping your brain active with those kinds of things is key for keeping a good memory throughout your life. It's fun too! :)
 
spork said:
Piracetam might help with memory. I'd just make sure to take it with choline otherwise it can cause headaches.

A big thing that helped me for memory has been puzzles, like word puzzles and sudoku and other things like that. I really think keeping your brain active with those kinds of things is key for keeping a good memory throughout your life. It's fun too! :)
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I just did some research on Piracetam, looks like good stuff. I'll have to order some later today.

I've always hated sudoku and the like, but I have made my own flashcards which (for all intents and purposes) should stimulate the same cognitive funcations.
 
cupcake011311 said:
Hey, I'm just looking for peoples opinions and advice when it comes to mdpv (mostly interested in advice of chronic, everyday users as to how to stop!) Waiting to get into treatment, but is rehab the best route for this drug?
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Its not easy but at the same time it is easy. Don't know how else to explain it. The only thing you need to do is simply just stop using. Simple right?

It is easy to break the cycle of daily use especially when one has come to terms with their addiction and decided it is time to stop. That pretty much goes without saying but its true. Once you decide you want to quit and you commit to it 100% then quitting mdpv even after years of daily use is a walk in the park. You'll sleep for days on end and struggle with lack of motivation for quite some time but beyond that you'll be fine and will be back to normal and living life like you used to in no time at all.

The hard part is making that commitment and sticking to it. This is where I struggle with mdpv. I have been using and fighting mdpv addiction for more years than I am honestly willing to admit. Its embarrassing as i am one hell of a strong willed person and have never given up on anything or let anything beat me without at going down in one hell of a fight. But mdpv is a beast I've yet to overcome and believe you me I've tried and tried and tried. Many times have I gotten myself to the bitter end of addiction where I honestly believe in the bottom of my heart I am ready to stop and never use again. Every fiber of my being is willing and ready to stop. I swear up and down to myself that not only do I not want to use again but that no matter what I won't use again.

But then something inside of me changes. It may happen an hour after my original decision to quit or it may happen a week later but it always happens: I decide I want to use again. I forget the misery and for some reason believe I enjoy mdpv and really like it when in reality I despise it and wish I could stop whenever I'm using. Its almost as if mdpv has created two sides inside of me. Its strange how strongly I believe I'm ready to quit at times and how quickly that can change. This is one hell of a struggle and I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit it.

I don't know if rehab is a good option for you but I don't believe it is for me. A part of me likes mdpv too much apparently and i don't believe I will have success with quiting no matter how I try until completely convince myself I never want to use again. The strange part is I've gotten to that point many times but considering the fact that I'm still struggling tells me maybe I was just fooling myself? Sure didn't feel like it at the time... (starting to cry so i need to stop myself here)

I wish you luck. I am here if you need support or guidance from somebody who is struggling with the same problem. Don't hesitate to contact me if you'd like to talk as honestly I would like to talk to someone who is dealing with the same struggle in hopes maybe they can give me some insight as well.
 
I'm in UK, so don't know about adderrall, but when I do my base I have wrap it in rizla, cos I gag so bad I puke, if the rizlas split n I don't realise I do gag & sometimes puke & also when I open my bag of base 2 sort it in the rizla the smell makes me heave. It's vile, really vile. I have no idea why I continue to fill my body with a substance it so badly trys to reject with the heaving & gagging from just the smell, nevermind the taste - I am a fuckin nob.
 
I feel like I need a new skeleton, not sure if that's normal, all my bones ache, and I feel grumpy but that may be due to my (.) or the weather also.
My head is pretty clear lol, didnt realise it wasn't before, haha. fuck.
 
Well done Libby! Best of luck in stayin clean, hope the skeleton stops achin soon, my mum can always tell when I've not had any base cos I turn into a right moody cow - she best get used to it, my attempt at stopping begins tomorrow, finally come to terms that I'm never gonna be able to just use a bit here & there so have made the decision to just stop. I thought I had 5 days in a row off work & could get the worst over with, but I've gotta work Thurs - day 2 of abstinence. If I can get through Thurs without giving in to temptation I think I stand a good chance of leaving that shit alone for good.
 
Fuck me, but there again just totted up in my head & realised what I spend on base. Feel guilty now. I was doing well, but hadn't factored for adding sleeplessness due to my baby being ill, plus work, I caved in yesterday being idiot I am. I doubt I'd ever get scripted adderall, either through my nhs psych or privately with my history of documented stimulant abuse - though everyone including my cpn think I'm stable when I'm on it opposed to clean.
I am gonna av 2 tell my psych I'm using base again though, it's just gonna fuck me up when I try 4 residency of my 4 year old again :(
 
RR279 said:
Well I used today, I had about 1 'binge' worth of amps left from my script so I took what was left in what I rationalized as a way to make sure I didn't have anything to screw up my sobriety once I got started. Not sure whether it was genuine or a subconcious attempt to make sure I got my fix, I DO in all fairness have a far easier time fighting the urge to get more amps than I do to actually resist using them when they're already in my posession.

On a related note, the decision that fucked over my life(via a chain of events that stemmed from my speed use) was finally overturned today after 5 long months. If I work hard enough I'll finally be able to start my career in 2-3 months or so. It involves a lot of studying, which is going to be difficult as my use has turned my memory and focus/concentration to shit, but with enough persistence I should undoutably pull through.

I have ginko and plenty of omega 3 supplements, does anyone have any ideas for additonal memory aids?
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Haven't used since I made this post about 11 days ago. I've been working out and jogging almost everyday and eating healthy. I finally feel good about myself.

manicmama said:
Fuck me, but there again just totted up in my head & realised what I spend on base. Feel guilty now. I was doing well, but hadn't factored for adding sleeplessness due to my baby being ill, plus work, I caved in yesterday being idiot I am. I doubt I'd ever get scripted adderall, either through my nhs psych or privately with my history of documented stimulant abuse - though everyone including my cpn think I'm stable when I'm on it opposed to clean.
I am gonna av 2 tell my psych I'm using base again though, it's just gonna fuck me up when I try 4 residency of my 4 year old again :(
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It happens. You just gotta keep on keepin' on.
 
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