Changed
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2006
- Messages
- 2,974
8/10/09
8:15 pm - Began drinking Mescaline juice. Taste does not seem quiet as foul as the first batch. I did not cook it long enough, as I have a large amount of juice to swallow. This "chop and boil" method, while easy to do, may not be the best for ingestion of mescaline. Perhaps I should simply give myself more time to boil the snot-like liquid so that I don't have to drink so much! May take an hour or so of sipping to complete it all.
Food eaten today: 7am: Peanut butter and banana waffle sandwich, green apple; 1pm: pulled BBQ chicken sandwich; 4:30pm: 2 egg burrito w/ cheese; 8:15pm glass of chamomile tea (anti-nausea), raw ginger (anti-nausea), small glass of orange juice (superstition).
8:24pm - This brew may be too chunky to finish. Almost 1/3 is left and it is hardly palatable. This may turn into a low dose, walking around outside mescaline experience...
8:30pm - I put half of the liquid back in the fridge. What is left in this other container is far too chunky. I will combine the two and boil it off tomorrow if I so desire. Who knows about the potency after this stunt though... Effects should be coming on in 30 (I have a feeling they will be stronger than expected).
8:50pm - Just exited the shower. As the water from the faucet pounded my face, I realized that the immense joy of the experience came from being totally aware of the present moment. The feeling of the water became the Being, the conduit of my perception of existence- a totally aware moment. Then I realized the texture and anti-pattern of the water streaming down the shower wall; the smell of the soap on my body; the sound of the water crashing down around me; and, the loss of a sense of time.
At the moment there is a lightning storm brewing outside my window. Boards of Canada are being pumped into my ears via headphones. Time to sit back and enjoy the ride...
9:20pm - J walks in, not knowing I've drank the tea. An epic thunderstorm is taking place right now- maybe the biggest I've seen. We stood out in the torrential downpour and watched the lightning get closer and closer. I'm beginning to realize that my trip will not be much of a trip at all. I haven't seen any visuals (as I did the first time), and things are seeming less and less weird. I do, however, have an intense desire for some scrumptious food... Perhaps time will reveal more depth of this experience...?
9:51pm - It's amazing how sexual music can be. It must be the rhythm- Boards of Canada does amazing stuff with loops, strange beats, deep bass, etc... It seems that losing oneself in an activity- intently listening to music; dancing; playing an instrument; running long distances; sex, etc... is the same as losing oneself in a psychedelic trip. The senses are heightened because they are used only in one capacity- to notice each beat and movement of the music; to sync the body with the flow of the music; to bang on a drum in a rhythmic pattern; to will the body to keep placing foot after foot; to bring pleasure to your mate. In instances like these, most other senses fade into the background... A sense of depersonalization happens in the throes of embrace, or a long distance run where the only thing that you know exists are two feet and ground that they are hitting. There is no longer that paper due on Monday; no longer that bill that needs to be paid- these are material concerns devised by Society to impose a sense of purpose upon a man's life. Without these concerns, one has the ability to be truly human- use his fingers to caress the contour of his lover; his nose and mouth to smell and taste a finely prepared steak; his eyes to revel in the beauty of a coastline-sunset; his ears to appreciate the sounds of nature around him- and, be fully aware of the experience as it happens.
This tangent seems to have veered a long ways from the path of... anything. Especially Buddhism. I appear to have come to a crossroad in my psychedelic timeline: a first experience where my perception of the universe (on drugs) and Buddhism don't coexist... A beautiful opportunity to explore these implications...
10:24 pm - Another observation: after a psychedelic trip, food and appetite are totally transformed. I'm sitting here eating a heaping bowl of brown rice, black beans, garbanzo beans, pasta sauce and sour creme, and eating the hell out of it. It may be the most delicious thing I've ever had. New foods and combinations are created under --and after-- the influence of psychedelics. Are new brain synapses forged while under the influence of mescaline that create a desire for previously undesirable things? Or, are things simply appreciated more as a result of psychedelics? This seems unlikely- I don't appreciate this laptop more than I did a couple hours ago. It may be that where the senses are concerned, psychedelics do the most impact.
Oh, and time is certainly impacted- as I typed the previous bit, I was simultaneously burning the living shit out of four pirogis.
10:50 pm - I just realized I am still far from baseline- I just stared into the mirror for the last half hour and it felt like 2 seconds. I didn't even recognized myself- each time I returned to my eyes I was shocked to see this thing staring back. If one person can be enthralled by their own reflection for such a long time, I can only imagine what a simultaneous mescaline trip would be like for two. While staring into the mirror, I did realize that my face is beginning to show the signs of aging. A sad reminder of the ephemerality of life (inside this flesh sack?).
I'm going to lay down with a full stomach and see how far this hole goes...
11:14 pm - Oh my, I'm at the peak it appears. Mescaline is such a gentle psychedelic. No anxiety, no fear... simply learning. The music is starting to take on that leader-like quality- showing me where I'm going, etc... Boards of Canada has to be the greatest music ever created. My typing skills are diminishing at the moment. I don't really have any concern about the words coming out of my brain, simply that the keyboard is multi-colored and moving away from my fingers as I type. I am observing my hands as they move over the keyboard, but I don't control what comes out. Time to lay back down and see how much deeper I can dig.
Or be dug.
11:36 pm - The beauty of the music driven mescaline experience is that it can go anywhere. Boards of Canada is the perfect trip music because of it's lack of ego: no voice from the artist; no personality permeating the music, not even a single theme to the music, etc... My legs are feeling like cosmic wishy-wash right now.
12:14 am - The trip has come to its conclusion, so to speak. After wiping the sweat and remnants of the trip from off myself, I went and stared into the mirror for a few moments. What was only a short time ago enthralling, is now normal. And, not surprisingly, the reflection in the mirror seemed much more familiar- and MUCH more attractive. Looking into the mirror at 10:50 was like staring at an ugly, near-lifeless version of myself. Ironic, considering the intensity of my feelings then versus now.
Pre-sleep reflections: This trip was a roller coast ride that I didn't even expect to happen until the car was at the peak of a huge descent. What's also strange is that the trip was seemingly propagated by the introduction of food into my stomach. 1 frozen peach, 2 frozen raspberries, 4 burnt pirogis with sour creme, a bowl of rice/frijoles negroes/garbanzo beans, and a plum.
Just thinking: when in the middle of the psychedelic trip, one finds the physical human representation of form unattractive (foreign? ridiculous?), BUT! the feelings of passion, beauty, arousal, wonder at life (in general) are greatly heightened. The ability to express emotion is developed to the point where even I can think and write like Shakespeare on a three week dry-spell. Once I've returned to baseline or near baseline, my ability to feel the same emotions at the same intensity is ZERO. A reflection of me being a deranged person, or simply a reflection of the effects of a psychedelic trip on an otherwise introverted individual? Would these same effects be present in an extrovert who is typically capable of expressing emotions and physical love? My guess is no...
Post-sleep reflections: No significant psychological shift. The morning after the first mescaline trip I felt a profound change- colors were more vibrant, flavors were more intense, and life just seemed to be more beautiful. I woke up this morning at 12:30, feeling slightly hung-over (could just be the unbearable heat). This is probably due to the fact that I had no idea what to expect the first time I ingested the cactus; this time, I knew what to expect... I have a feeling that all I need to learn is in the text above. Somehow finding a way to validate or apply the feelings felt during a psychedelic trip is the most important thing a psychonaut can do (if one is aiming to improve themselves as a result of the trip).
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_sanpedro
substancecode_trichocereuspachanoi
substancecode_mescaline
substancecode_phenethylamines
explevel_secondtime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_oral
8:15 pm - Began drinking Mescaline juice. Taste does not seem quiet as foul as the first batch. I did not cook it long enough, as I have a large amount of juice to swallow. This "chop and boil" method, while easy to do, may not be the best for ingestion of mescaline. Perhaps I should simply give myself more time to boil the snot-like liquid so that I don't have to drink so much! May take an hour or so of sipping to complete it all.
Food eaten today: 7am: Peanut butter and banana waffle sandwich, green apple; 1pm: pulled BBQ chicken sandwich; 4:30pm: 2 egg burrito w/ cheese; 8:15pm glass of chamomile tea (anti-nausea), raw ginger (anti-nausea), small glass of orange juice (superstition).
8:24pm - This brew may be too chunky to finish. Almost 1/3 is left and it is hardly palatable. This may turn into a low dose, walking around outside mescaline experience...
8:30pm - I put half of the liquid back in the fridge. What is left in this other container is far too chunky. I will combine the two and boil it off tomorrow if I so desire. Who knows about the potency after this stunt though... Effects should be coming on in 30 (I have a feeling they will be stronger than expected).
8:50pm - Just exited the shower. As the water from the faucet pounded my face, I realized that the immense joy of the experience came from being totally aware of the present moment. The feeling of the water became the Being, the conduit of my perception of existence- a totally aware moment. Then I realized the texture and anti-pattern of the water streaming down the shower wall; the smell of the soap on my body; the sound of the water crashing down around me; and, the loss of a sense of time.
At the moment there is a lightning storm brewing outside my window. Boards of Canada are being pumped into my ears via headphones. Time to sit back and enjoy the ride...
9:20pm - J walks in, not knowing I've drank the tea. An epic thunderstorm is taking place right now- maybe the biggest I've seen. We stood out in the torrential downpour and watched the lightning get closer and closer. I'm beginning to realize that my trip will not be much of a trip at all. I haven't seen any visuals (as I did the first time), and things are seeming less and less weird. I do, however, have an intense desire for some scrumptious food... Perhaps time will reveal more depth of this experience...?
9:51pm - It's amazing how sexual music can be. It must be the rhythm- Boards of Canada does amazing stuff with loops, strange beats, deep bass, etc... It seems that losing oneself in an activity- intently listening to music; dancing; playing an instrument; running long distances; sex, etc... is the same as losing oneself in a psychedelic trip. The senses are heightened because they are used only in one capacity- to notice each beat and movement of the music; to sync the body with the flow of the music; to bang on a drum in a rhythmic pattern; to will the body to keep placing foot after foot; to bring pleasure to your mate. In instances like these, most other senses fade into the background... A sense of depersonalization happens in the throes of embrace, or a long distance run where the only thing that you know exists are two feet and ground that they are hitting. There is no longer that paper due on Monday; no longer that bill that needs to be paid- these are material concerns devised by Society to impose a sense of purpose upon a man's life. Without these concerns, one has the ability to be truly human- use his fingers to caress the contour of his lover; his nose and mouth to smell and taste a finely prepared steak; his eyes to revel in the beauty of a coastline-sunset; his ears to appreciate the sounds of nature around him- and, be fully aware of the experience as it happens.
This tangent seems to have veered a long ways from the path of... anything. Especially Buddhism. I appear to have come to a crossroad in my psychedelic timeline: a first experience where my perception of the universe (on drugs) and Buddhism don't coexist... A beautiful opportunity to explore these implications...
10:24 pm - Another observation: after a psychedelic trip, food and appetite are totally transformed. I'm sitting here eating a heaping bowl of brown rice, black beans, garbanzo beans, pasta sauce and sour creme, and eating the hell out of it. It may be the most delicious thing I've ever had. New foods and combinations are created under --and after-- the influence of psychedelics. Are new brain synapses forged while under the influence of mescaline that create a desire for previously undesirable things? Or, are things simply appreciated more as a result of psychedelics? This seems unlikely- I don't appreciate this laptop more than I did a couple hours ago. It may be that where the senses are concerned, psychedelics do the most impact.
Oh, and time is certainly impacted- as I typed the previous bit, I was simultaneously burning the living shit out of four pirogis.
10:50 pm - I just realized I am still far from baseline- I just stared into the mirror for the last half hour and it felt like 2 seconds. I didn't even recognized myself- each time I returned to my eyes I was shocked to see this thing staring back. If one person can be enthralled by their own reflection for such a long time, I can only imagine what a simultaneous mescaline trip would be like for two. While staring into the mirror, I did realize that my face is beginning to show the signs of aging. A sad reminder of the ephemerality of life (inside this flesh sack?).
I'm going to lay down with a full stomach and see how far this hole goes...
11:14 pm - Oh my, I'm at the peak it appears. Mescaline is such a gentle psychedelic. No anxiety, no fear... simply learning. The music is starting to take on that leader-like quality- showing me where I'm going, etc... Boards of Canada has to be the greatest music ever created. My typing skills are diminishing at the moment. I don't really have any concern about the words coming out of my brain, simply that the keyboard is multi-colored and moving away from my fingers as I type. I am observing my hands as they move over the keyboard, but I don't control what comes out. Time to lay back down and see how much deeper I can dig.
Or be dug.
11:36 pm - The beauty of the music driven mescaline experience is that it can go anywhere. Boards of Canada is the perfect trip music because of it's lack of ego: no voice from the artist; no personality permeating the music, not even a single theme to the music, etc... My legs are feeling like cosmic wishy-wash right now.
12:14 am - The trip has come to its conclusion, so to speak. After wiping the sweat and remnants of the trip from off myself, I went and stared into the mirror for a few moments. What was only a short time ago enthralling, is now normal. And, not surprisingly, the reflection in the mirror seemed much more familiar- and MUCH more attractive. Looking into the mirror at 10:50 was like staring at an ugly, near-lifeless version of myself. Ironic, considering the intensity of my feelings then versus now.
Pre-sleep reflections: This trip was a roller coast ride that I didn't even expect to happen until the car was at the peak of a huge descent. What's also strange is that the trip was seemingly propagated by the introduction of food into my stomach. 1 frozen peach, 2 frozen raspberries, 4 burnt pirogis with sour creme, a bowl of rice/frijoles negroes/garbanzo beans, and a plum.
Just thinking: when in the middle of the psychedelic trip, one finds the physical human representation of form unattractive (foreign? ridiculous?), BUT! the feelings of passion, beauty, arousal, wonder at life (in general) are greatly heightened. The ability to express emotion is developed to the point where even I can think and write like Shakespeare on a three week dry-spell. Once I've returned to baseline or near baseline, my ability to feel the same emotions at the same intensity is ZERO. A reflection of me being a deranged person, or simply a reflection of the effects of a psychedelic trip on an otherwise introverted individual? Would these same effects be present in an extrovert who is typically capable of expressing emotions and physical love? My guess is no...
Post-sleep reflections: No significant psychological shift. The morning after the first mescaline trip I felt a profound change- colors were more vibrant, flavors were more intense, and life just seemed to be more beautiful. I woke up this morning at 12:30, feeling slightly hung-over (could just be the unbearable heat). This is probably due to the fact that I had no idea what to expect the first time I ingested the cactus; this time, I knew what to expect... I have a feeling that all I need to learn is in the text above. Somehow finding a way to validate or apply the feelings felt during a psychedelic trip is the most important thing a psychonaut can do (if one is aiming to improve themselves as a result of the trip).
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_sanpedro
substancecode_trichocereuspachanoi
substancecode_mescaline
substancecode_phenethylamines
explevel_secondtime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_oral
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