Mercy, Severity

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Yes..I stole the title from a mudvayne song cuz i couldn't think of a title...and it fits the poem i guess.

"Mercy, Severity"

If I hand over the sword,
Would you put it drive it thru your lungs
Rise above the dead, and re-affirm my heart
'Cos I can't serve that master
Who fucks the system thrice;
Once in birth, in death....then life
I'm not a man to hate
Yet I loathe what I become; Apathetic, lost my zeal, these drugs all pissed away
This tolerance is building, left me numb
And so I'm done. With nothing to love.
Lover's eyes now pierce my veins; still glassed over under portrait frames
She took my breath away.
This time, I pray it's not replaced
I need to live for nothing, now, since nothing's all I've got
Please fear not death, fear not; In mercy, be their saviour
Does mercy kill? It kills the killer who draws out life so long but,
Don't cry out at the thought
The grief that severs won't linger
After you are our god

 

[(Wordy)]

I loathe what I become; Apathetic, lost my zeal, these drugs all pissed away
This tolerance is building, left me numb
And so I'm done.

This section has solid rhythm / modulation, and makes a definite statement. Nice work!

 

[Raz]

A lot of the stuff I write has the same title as a particular song, or else I include lyrics from a song....I find a lot of the time there are parts of songs that inspire me to write something that may or may not have been intended originally, so I don't think there's anything wrong with using that..

 

[zombiesarepeaceful]

^Thanks I'm glad its not plagerizing or some shit like that.

I've had times where I don't write for so long I'm afraid I'll lose my..whatever I have. Touch or something. I wrote this recently at a pretty low point in life where I've got nothing to live for. Had this thought that if someone I loved were to die, or if I had someTHING to put on a pedestal, worth living for, that I'd have some reason to live. And for me that thing right now is drugs. Im no junkie, I don't use everyday. But Its my only motivation in life. I'm stuck inside my head alot of times, talking to myself and my little friends. Yes, I'm not all here and I'm schizophrenic. Interacting with people seems to fuck me up worse so I stick with the world I create and I'm fine with that but the outside world thinks I'm a creep usually, but I could carealess. Fuck, I'm rambling.

Anyhow in the poem its like, resurrecting something I can live for so I don't lose all hope and get suicidal again.

 

[Raz]

I have been there, I know what it's like to need something to focus on to give yourself some kind of lifeline....hang in there, eh. It gets really really hard before it gets better, but it does get better if you try.

Look after yourself, eh.