Mephedrone Addiction

[tillage5]

Hi all,

Basically wanted to start a new post/diary on my abstinence attempt from mephedrone. Basically I started out as a occasional weekend user for roughly 6 months. This then escalated to an addiction for the past 12 months now. It is mostly triggered by alcohol intake as I seem uncontrollable and fiend for the drug after a night out, believe this to be from my occasional use when out previously. Anyhow I'm relatively healthy take loads of supps, work out. Have a job and still live at home. So unlike some am quite fortunate, although feeling like a lying let down to my family and 'good' friends. So I'm taking it upon myself to keep this diary to possibly help others and myself. Have tried to quit previously twice both last 3-5 weeks before going back to the drug. I have been known to do 20g in a weekend which is ridiculous. It has now been 38 hours since my last line of the stuff. I'll be keeping everyone updated with my honest progress. Staying off drinking for a month to help with this but hoping that the 'trigger' doesn't reappear after this time. Anyone else have this trigger with drugs and alcohol? I'm completely fine sober ?! Thanks all for reading. Any advice on your experiences would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Sepher]

Hi Tillage, welcome to Bluelight.

Don't have much experience with Mephedrone at all, I tried it just a couple of times out of curiosities sake just before the ban came in in the UK though it kinda led me directly to Bluelight reading up on it. Clued me in to the whole RC thing really whereas I'd previously dismissed legal highs.

The alcohol as trigger thing is very common, come across it loads on here. It lowers your guard for one, evokes an association if you've been using mephedrone ( or other drugs ) with alcohol on nights out for two. I think you're wise to cut the drinking to remove that loss of inhibition and the triggering of the association while you're trying to beat this.

Don't have much more constructive to add, just kept seeing this thread getting a lot of views with noone saying hi in reply to it, so hi once again.

 

[tillage5]

Thanks for the reply.

I woke today feeling a weird sense of 'I can do this' although the following day that usual feeling does creep in. This first week or two will be a doddle, but its getting to this apparent 3 month mark most people seem to ween of this stuff finally. Time is the healer I guess. Have deleted all dealers numbers and removed Facebook from my phone. Just have to wait it out now I reckon and curb the drinking for a good few weeks.

 

[tripnotyzm]

You can do this..
The main thing is to not lose sight of your goals.
Don't let the substances side track you from what needs to be done.

Mephedrone, its one hell of a drug.
I was deeply sucked into its wrath a few years ago.
And im so glad I kicked that habit, because if I didnt, the drug probably would have manipulated me into committing suicide by now.
I think its the most addictive substance available..
Hence the reason why you need to make it a target to keep far away.

Alcohol is a definite trigger for a lot of drugs and absurd behaviour..
Eliminating it from your life is a massive pro.
But like I said, you need to stay focused on the prize.
Don't let yourself continue slip up.. because mephedrone will seriously drive your mental state to the ground.

You should keep reporting back in here.
It really helps to have a log on space like this.. And, there are of course, plenty of other helpful threads in TDS that you should get familiar with.

 

[tillage5]

Thanks tripno.

Sunday off this weekend and has been 8 days since I last had anything. Will try and keep it quiet as possible Saturday to avoid anything 'happening'. All been well I have the 3 following weekends planned out as to avoid the area. So this would put my at around 4-5 weeks which has been my longest period before.

 

[tripnotyzm]

Good to hear man
There's plenty of awesome things you can do.
And by the time 4-5 weeks comes around, I am sure you will feel somewhat healthier.
Keep it up dude

 

[Tryptamine*Dreamer]

That was a lot of mephedrone to be using - sounds really dangerous. I really overdid mephedrone once, but not to nearly to that extent you did. I think I managed either 4 or 5 grams over three days. Much of it was very pleasant, but I started having some nasty side effects toward the end - really unpleasant body feeling, horrible mood, terrible anxiety and panic. During the comedown, my blood pressure and pulse rose a lot. During the middle of the experience, there was a fairly small increase in blood pressure around 5-20/0-10 higher than normal, pulse 0-20 higher. The highest reading coming down from it was 194/137 pulse 146. (I have a fair amount of information on BP and heart rate from different things and combos, some on my computer, some in notes - this is how I can often provide that kind of info. Blood pressure and heart rate that high is dangerous.

I did not intend to ever touch the stuff again after that. I did, but did not use much at any one time because I never want to go through that again. I don't like it much anyway.

Sounds like you are doing well staying off the mephedrone. The amount you were talking about is extreme. Half that would probably kill me (maybe more than once if my corpse came back to life), given my sensitivity to the side effects and what it does to my blood pressure. Probably a good idea to stay away from anything similar to mephedrone in the future, given your difficulty in controlling usage

 

[BLAZEDBEAR]

Hi Tillage, I'm in a very similar situation to yourself so I thought I'd share my story.

I started using mephedrone in November 2011, 2 months after my girlfriend of 3 years left me. Awful idea I know, considering the circumstances. But I'd only just discovered cannabis in the year leading up to that and felt that the harms of recreational drug use had been greatly exaggerated. Although unlike with weed, I'd not done any research on MMCAT at all.

'Well, the bud's not doing me any harm, so as long as I keep a handle on my use, neither should this'

For the first couple of months or so I was only using on weekends, but I soon started buying a gram or two every now and then during the week and just stayed in for the night, got wired, talked shit on the internet and played Halo. By April, I'd lost my job at a local call center since making it in to work whilst on a comedown was proving too much to handle. It was around this time that I went on a major binge, the specifics of which elude me. Suffice to say I ended up in bed crying rather a lot - only really moving to go to the kitchen or bathroom - for the best part of the following fortnight. I felt like I was on a comedown that would never end and was having a lot of suicidal thoughts, accompanied by the occasional brain zap. Soon after this episode it became pretty obvious that my use had become problematic, although ignoring the signs, I continued to get wired whenever I had a night out and again, every now and then during the week.

Little has changed in regards to my usage since then, up until the back end of last year I'd never really made a particular effort to stay away from the drone. Even still, the longest I've gone without since I started using is about 6 weeks. But so far, I've always relapsed eventually.

It's now gotten to the point where I'm almost certain that I've fucked my heart up to at least some extent. I suppose my usage has calmed down a little bit since I was at my worst around April last year, so I'm nowhere near as depressed as I was back then. But even now I still don't feel quite right. I'm fairly certain that I've caused some nerve damage too because slow, precise movements cause me to shake uncontrollably. This is particularly apparent at my ankle joints when I slowly point my foot up/down. I also get these occasional feelings of tightness/numbness on my face, usually accompanied by these weird facial twitches.

Anyway, the last time I got wired was Valentines day. And it will be the last time, I cannot relapse. I'm no longer prepared to go on doing this shit not just to myself, but to my family. It's not fair.

Even if I did use again it'd be pointless. I can't remember the last time I did meph and felt anywhere near as good as I used to when I first started getting wired. Now, I barely experience any feelings of euphoria. Just a really intense stimulation that leaves me twitching like a motherfucker once I start to come down. Oh, that and a sorely missed ego boost.

I hope you manage to kick it for good anyway mate, I'll be sure to post here every now and then and let you all know how it's going.

As for advice on how to do that, all I can say is try to keep your mind off it all. Don't get too pissed when you're out and risk fucking it all up. If the cravings ever feel like too much, substitute the meph with something else. Be sure to treat yourself every now and then. Food's good, weed's better, but nothing beats a bit of good old cardiovascular exercise when it comes to lifting your spirits and forgetting about it all. A well earned smoke after said workout is just bliss too. As is feasting like a mad cunt once the munchies set in!

Peace and good luck

 

[blakwidow]

@tilladge5

Hi I just need to clarify something and i think all MEPHEDRONE / MCAT / CAT / KHAT powder users will agreed, there seem to be different flavours of this drug. It is not well documented and may contain undesirable additives or mixes. So one continent may have slightly different effects than the other.

From what I can tell, most common effects include slight ephoria, alertness, inability to sleep, twitching, mild halucinations, loss of appetite, paranoia and sometimes dry mouth, and ocassionaly numbness in the limbs, and 'cotton head'.

But anyway great to see you speak out about your 'habit'.

To tell the truth, your story sounds exactly how I started. My friends and I used to go party at bars and get drunk, and then we discovered 'cat' as I know it. It takes the drunk feeling away within a couple of minutes. This was like a instant 'un-drunk pill', although we didn't think of it that way back then.

It is now 8 years later and I still use 'cat' regularly when I don't want to feel drunk. Only now I also snort without drinking...

Take my advice, drop it now. I know you dont get cravings for it, but that is the danger with this drug, its like a monkey on your back waiting for you to just get that idea of a line, or drinks then a line.

I still dont get cravings even after 2-3 weeks. But I need to keep myself in-check when going out or have too much money on me.

Good luck and be strong, that initial scream for a line in your head can be stopped by ignoring it for half-an-hour or so.And avoid friends whom also snort. Groups of 'cat' users normally worsen the 'come lets get a gram... ' scenario.



Hope this helps.

 

[BLAZEDBEAR]

Hey everybody, just a quick update. I'm still clean, but I came extremely close to buying a g last night.

Were it not for the fact that none of my dealers appeared to be awake, I'd be pretty fucked right about now. I'm quite sure that alcohol had a lot to do with this since I'd been on the guiness and had a bottle of wine too. Next time I get drunk I'm gonna make sure I'm not on my own because I wouldn't openly use meph now in front of my friends. That said, even if I were to get drunk on my own again, I don't think I'd make the same mistake. I've been beating myself up about it all day, feel like such a fucking idiot!

Oh well, at least it didn't end up happening anyway. Onwards and upwards!

 

[tillage5]

Alright guys.

Long time since posting. Did a 5 week stint and touched it again. Came clean to the family I had f'd up.
I'm now 8 weeks clean and have been on nights out etc. and honestly I don't give it a second thought at all. I still look back to the days I did do it and they are memories. It's gone and left me now and I'm glad. Although 8 weeks in I still feel sometimes a bit tetchy/anxious and need to take a breather ad step back. Not sure why this happens maybe once every couple of days I get an episode of anxiety and I don't wana talk for say 20 mins then I'm fine. Anyone else had the same? Also I don't know whether this is related to 'changes' in my body but I appear to have developed some sort of psoriasis.... Anyway. Feeling better and times the healer I suppose. Will write back in another month. Glad to be nearly back to my old self