tambourine-man
Bluelight Crew
Setting & Factors: I'm a 6'1" male. Late 20's. Developed a slight tolerance to MDMA many years ago, but it's pretty much back to normal these days. I'm at home, alone, in a well-heated, softly-lit apartment. I have access to music, TV and a laptop.
Context: Haven't done MDMA in over two years. Haven't had the time or opportunity. Pills are generally of a poor quality in the UK at the moment. Last foray into RC's was some 2CB which helped me through some difficult times (if you're reading, then thank you... you know who you are). Since then, I've been keeping straight and narrow to further my career (stepping down as Senior Mod was a big part of that life reorganisation). My girlfriend's father is quite ill and it's been a stain on all of us to get him up to Leeds so that we can monitor his care. I've just finished (last week) two very difficult statistical exams and an essay for the first semester of my Public Health Masters degree. Girlfriend is out with friends and I need a reward for the last few weeks. And this is it...
T: -2:00 - Ate a Chinese meal.
T: 0:00 (20:20) - Drop one BubbleLuv capsule. Reputed to be 200mg mephedrone. Roll a joint of Spice Diamond. I anticipate that an MDMA-like substance will make my hands sweaty. Rolling joints in advance will prevent the skins from sticking to me. I hate that!
T: 0:30 (20:50) - No come up as yet. Feeling relaxed. Flutter in the chest. Have been reading subjective reports on this compound for ideas on when the come-up may occur. Have also been listening to a few soul and Motown albums I downloaded earlier today.
T: 0:40 (21:00) - Ooooh! That's nice. The flutter has developed into a warmth and a mild sweat. Not too overpowering. Slight fuzziness in the head, but still very clear. Mental capacities still intact and able to type. Listening to a John Legend album (of all things) on a 5.1 home cinema that is streaming via an X-Box. Visuals are also being displayed on flatscreen TV that occupies most of my forward vision. Read that alcohol potentiates Mephedrone's effects. Mix a vodka and the remainder of a can of coke from the Chinese meal. The coke is tepid, but it tastes great.
T: 0:50 (21:10) - Man, this is very nice. No idea if the alcohol has done something, but I'm well away now. Heart is pounding and the music sounds powerful. No desire to add in any other compound. As yet. Have read that some people drop another 200mg capsule after 30 minutes. I'm tempted... but feel that it may be a mistake for the first time. Sweaty palms. Stretching feels great. Armpits sweaty. Hahaha! Fuck it.
T: 1:00 (21:20) - Significant pupil dilation. Also finding a tendency to run my tongue along the inside of my bottom lip. This is something I tend to do on MDMA. Something that has been pointed out to me to the great amusement of others. John Legend is now repeating himself. Poor man. On the subject of MDMA similarity, there's a distinct lack of the anxiety that MDMA creates in me. I'm not sure whether that's because I'm on my own, in familiar surroundings or if there's a chemical difference in the drug itself. It makes me wonder how the experience of many drugs must be horribly coloured by their use in environments that are packed to the gills with strangers. Feels like a very good pill. Must check my spelling! :D
T: 1:20 (21:40) - More MDMA-like qualities. Significant jaw clenching. This is both a positive and negative feature. I actually quite like the sensation in a self-destructive way. I just know I'll pay for it in the morning. Speaking of which, I have some 5-HTP to assist any come-downs tomorrow. Vodka and coke is strong. Stronger than I would normally drink it. The taste of the vodka seems to have taken a more form palatable form. While the coke is masking it, I can actually taste the subtleties of the vodka. Makes me think of a guy I once met at University (he sold me my first pill at Uni). He used to be able to drink vodka straight from the bottle. I once witnessed him drink a half bottle of vodka in a single gulp. Looking back, he was probably quite mentally ill. I hope he's still around. I hope he found something like the contentment I feel right now.
T: 1:30 (21:50) - Feeling like I want to dance, but it doesn't have the kick-in-the-arse amphetamine feel that I have a love/hate relationship with. Been thinking about having a cigarette. I'm an "ex-smoker" who still smokes occasionally. I tend to believe that abstinence is as absurd as addiction... in that both announce that you don't trust yourself to behave responsibly. That said, I'm debating as to whether the use of a second compound - tobacco or spice - would effect the purity of the experience. Even now, the Super Ego is wagging it's finger. Stupid Super Ego! :D
T: 1:45 (22:05) - Id comes back with a vengeance! It reminds me that there's a bottle of Amyl poppers in the bedroom. Shit! I'm a bit of a fiend for poppers in the clubs. Particularly if the pill needs some assistance to bring me up (or is it my Super Ego getting in the way that can prevent a come up?). But does this mephedrone need assistance? It's certainly more subtle at this dose than what I would expect from a decent shot of MDMA. Definitely need a cigarette! :D Decision made.
T: 1:50 (22:10) - Poor old John Legend has been repeating himself at least twice now. He must be tired. Change of music to Best of Chicane 1996 - 2002. Downloaded a few weeks ago but never played it. Should be interesting to see how a change of pace might affect things. Now where was that cigarette?
T: 2:10 (22:30) - Made an equally-strong vodka and fruit juice prior to smoking the cigarette. I don't always appreciate the taste of tobacco, so a drink is always a welcome accompaniment. Go onto the balcony overlooking the river to smoke the cigarette. Not the same oral pleasure (lol) one would normally get through smoking while on MDMA. Still pleasant nonetheless. Introspection is, I think, superficial and limited to positive vibes - not that there's anything wrong with that! Thoughts of my girlfriend and how I much love her run through my mind. She's been though a lot but I'm so glad that I was privileged to be by her side through everything. I hope I've done all I can to support her, but I know that I've probably neglected her with my education and profession demanding so much of my time.
I go to the bathroom and attempt to pass urine. Some difficulty, but nothing like how it is on MDMA. The fact that I don't have some steroid-abusing freak by my side (like what always seems to happen in club toilets) is probably a big help. I wash my hands to remove the smell of smoke (and, well... it's just good hygiene, isn't it?).
When I return from the bathroom, my cat, Oscar, has moved from the living room into the spare bedroom and is sat on a dressing table that is strewn with my girlfriend's make-up, mirrors and such. He lets me stroke him and is receptive to my attention. I rest my head on one of his front paws, bringing my eyes at the same level as his. He's so receptive... I wonder if it's because I'm more gentle with him in this state? I've never really bought the idea that animals know when you're tripping (or in a more animalistic, primal state... lol), but I do think that he sees a change in behaviour. More deferential perhaps? Considering doing another capsule to see where this might go. They were right about this being more-ish!
T: 2:20 (22:40) - I think the peak has gone. Still dancing in my seat and tapping my feet to Chicane. Should I risk the demon poppers? Speaking of which, I think if I was in a club, I'd probably be tempted to hammer the poppers on mephedrone. Feels like it just needs that extra 'zing'.
T: 2:50 (23:10) - Give in to temptation... partially, having read another trip report. I get another capsule but stop short. I decide that another 200mg would be too much for my firt time. I crack the capsule open and wrap half the content in a single ply of a small amount of tissue paper with the intention of parachuting it. Id suggests that Plan A is interesting, but might be even more fun if I snorted the 100mg. I eagerly roll a Post-It note (classy), taking care to make sure that the sticky glue strip will not be on the interior of the makeshift nostril-assisting hoover. I then open up the tissue paper parcel, dumping the powder on the coffee table, before making two thick lines with a credit card. It takes me three snorts for each nostril. The sensation isn't as bad as some reports had led me to believe, but the amount of powder necessitates a patient and incremental approach. The drip down the back of my throat isn't particularly pleasant. The powder has an interesting sweet smell is is slightly yellow. I eat the demoted tissue paper that contains the residue. Waste not, want not!
T: 2:55 (23:15) - Noticeable change in visual acuity. Eyes darting in the same way my tongue runs along my bottom lip. Emotion more focussed. Not quite as blissful. May be due to music being a little harder.
T: 3:00 (23:20) - Music has lightened and I'm feeling quite full of energy. Perhaps not the physical energy than can fuel the kind of ludicrous dancing that I'm accustomed to giving people the pleasure of being witness to (haha), but the rhythm of music is so easily discernible and it connects with me easily. Visual acuity awry. That extra 100mg re-dose has clouded my mind slightly. Colour appreciation has increased. Not the subtle pastels of mescaline, or the dripping primaries of LSD, but a simple appreciation for bold colours and contrasts. No visual distortions, but that is as expected.
T: 3:40 (00:00) - I decide that Chicane was a success, but I opt to change the music. I try a Mary J Blige album but find the introduction to the album (which bigs herself up and her achievements) a little self-congratulatory. I settle on the Brand New Heavies. Visualiser is distracting. Passing urine was quite difficult, but it prompted me to think that other than the alcoholic drinks, I haven't been taking in much water. As I let the tap run to get the coldest water possible from the frigid outdoors, the sound of rushing water has a "tinny" dimension - perhaps in contrast to the 5.1 system I've been listening to? It lasts only briefly and I fill a bottle up with cool tap water.
T: 3:50 (00:10) - The water has taken away some of the fuzziness. Not feeling quite so high. Although I'm amazed at how dexterous I am considering what I've taken. Jaw is getting quite sore.
T: 4:05 (00:25) - Tried the poppers after some debate. :D The 100mg bump was fairly short lived... I figure I can maybe rejuvenate it as is achievable with a slowly evaporating MDMA high. Bad move. The poppers don't have the euphoric body explosion I get when on good MDMA. It really is a headache in a bottle with mephedrone. Search for information on paracetamol and mephedrone interactions...
T: 4:10 (00:30) - Typing accuracy decreasing. Cannot find interaction information. Slight twinge of liver (under the bottom my right rib cage).
T: 4:25 (00:45) - Liver/rib pain has subsided. Feel slightly tired/lethargic. I don't want to re-dose. I think this may be the rule of diminishing returns... but this runs contrary to the anecdotal reports of people re-dosing with sustained empathic effects. Perhaps the 100mg wasn't enough to sustain it? Anyway, perhaps a change of pace in music is required again? Kirlian Selections by The Flashbulb is my choice. Gritty. Challenging. A reciprocal album exchange courtesy of Ted from many moons ago. While I've grown to love the album over the years, it has the potential to end this happy place I find myself in at the moment.
T: 4:45 (01:05) - Sorry Ted! It's killing me! :D A random selection falls to Stevie Wonder, The Definitive Collection. First track... "Uptight (Everything's alright)". Youbetchya! Feeling more balanced now. Headache passed pretty quickly, but my jaw and teeth are taking a battering, despite having a box of chewing gum on hand.
T: 5:05 (01:25) - Looked at myself in the mirror. I don't look too wrecked. My pupils are still considerably dilated, but I don't have that crazed stare that an amphetamine-laced pill often gives you, nor have I throughout the session. I still move to the sound of "Superstition" but movement is less energetic and, consequently, less rewarding. Jaw still aches. Want to take the paracetamol.
T: 5:45 (02:05) - Took 400mg ibuprofen about 15 minutes ago after reading some related threads on various forums. I feel quite 'normal' now. Not quite baseline, but the empathic and sensual element has become residual. Left with a propensity to move to the music (now much quieter, but still Stevie Wonder) but without what minimal energy the mephedrone initially provided.
T: 6:15 (02:35) - Despite drinking more water (two and a half, 500ml bottles), mephedrone seems to have a lesser diuretic effect than MDMA. I've probably had about three or four reasonably-sized pisses over the last 6 hours. At no point have I had the horrendous "eternally-bursting-for-a-pee-but-nothing-comes-out" sensation. There's certainly pressure in the bladder, but it's nothing near as distracting as it can be on MDMA. Nor for that matter, have I experienced the equally intimidating threat of having to rush to the toilet when gastro-intestinal discomfort sets in... as it often does with MDMA for me, sadly (not pleasant when aforementioned steroid-abusing freak is in the same club toilet :D). Perhaps this is related to what I perceive as lower anxiety-provoking characteristics in mephedrone? Less anxiety, less GI strain.
T: 6:35 (02:55) - Decide to smoke the spice joint I made earlier as a wind-down for sleep. It's tobacco/spice mix, but only with minimal spice in it as I didn't want to overdo it on the first experiment. I go out to the balcony again (it's a Juliet balcony... we're not posh enough to have a proper one - haha). I wrap the curtain around the back of me, just like last time, so to prevent the smoke lingering in the living room. The city looks much the same as it did 6 hours ago - a picture of shimmering blackness made wet from a delicious burst of rain. The sounds of people going home faintly brush my ears as I smoke the joint.
After finishing it (and giving the roach to the river below), I see Oscar at my feet looking up at me. He's the best purchase we ever made. The TV could blow up tomorrow and it wouldn't matter... Oscar's worth so much more!
He likes going out on the balcony and eating spiders, but I have to deny him that simple pleasure this time as it's far too cold to keep the door open. I pick him up, along with my bottle of water and put him down on the sofa before sitting beside him. He stays with me for a short time, no more than 15 seconds, before giving me a disgruntled look and walking off, stopping only to knock the water bottle cap off the coffee table - presumably in feline revenge for not letting him out. Back to normal then! Aloof, yet capable of the most intense affection... but only on his own terms.
T: 7:25 (03:45) - Spice joint had minimal effect. Slight feeling of excitation, but that could just as easily been from the tobacco/placebo. Obviously not enough in the joint. I think I'll test spice on it's own some other time. But for now, it's time for bed. Happy with the mephedrone's performance tonight. Might suggest to my girlfriend that we go clubbing next week. Haven't been for ages. I think we deserve some down time!
Thanks for reading,
W
Postscript: Didn't get to bed until T: 8:00 (04:20). Eyes were still heavily dilated and heart was pounding. Left with excitatory effects but without the energy or tactility to enjoy. I'm surprised that this excess of residual excitation or restlessness didn't manifest itself into an anxiety state. Instead, I lay awake for at least two hours, perfectly calm and steady. I got perhaps an hour or so of snooze in-between the occasional trip to the toilet. I know I experienced some bizarre mental imagery and symbolism during that period. My mind allowed itself to project on the blackness of the bedroom. I have no idea if such projections were the work of the residual mephedrone effects or the closer intake of spice (will need to re-try). Pupil dilation returned to normal around T: 10:00 (06:20) or sometime in the preceding two hours.
It's now T: 12:30 (08:50), yet my tongue is still pre-disposed to running around my bottom lip and my jaw continues to bite down involuntarily, despite the fragile state my mouth is in. Visual acuity is largely back to normal, although I detect a slight slowness in focussing when something is dead ahead of me. I wouldn't wish to drive at this point. Took more ibuprofen (400mg) to ease jaw tension. Next time I use this, I think I would prefer to have a couple of benzodiazepines on hand to promote sleep. Possibly make use of pre-loaded magnesium as a preventative measure for the bruxism.
Jaw clenching finally subsided at around T: 16:40 (13:00) but I've had to continue taking painkillers for the resulting damage (swollen interiors to my mouth and a vice-like strain that goes from the bottom of my neck, throughout my jaw, and around the back of my head). I've also taken two doses of 5-HTP to mitigate any possible seratonin depletion... although given that the mephedrone high was nowhere near as intense as with MDMA, I can't imagine that the chemical/emotional trade-off would be of a similar severity.
Definitely worth exploring again but with some preparation.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ethanol
substancecode_alcohols
substancecode_gabaergics
substancecode_mephedrone
substancecode_4mmc
substancecode_cathinones
substancecode_stimulants
_combo_
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_bodyload
roacode_oral
Context: Haven't done MDMA in over two years. Haven't had the time or opportunity. Pills are generally of a poor quality in the UK at the moment. Last foray into RC's was some 2CB which helped me through some difficult times (if you're reading, then thank you... you know who you are). Since then, I've been keeping straight and narrow to further my career (stepping down as Senior Mod was a big part of that life reorganisation). My girlfriend's father is quite ill and it's been a stain on all of us to get him up to Leeds so that we can monitor his care. I've just finished (last week) two very difficult statistical exams and an essay for the first semester of my Public Health Masters degree. Girlfriend is out with friends and I need a reward for the last few weeks. And this is it...
T: -2:00 - Ate a Chinese meal.
T: 0:00 (20:20) - Drop one BubbleLuv capsule. Reputed to be 200mg mephedrone. Roll a joint of Spice Diamond. I anticipate that an MDMA-like substance will make my hands sweaty. Rolling joints in advance will prevent the skins from sticking to me. I hate that!
T: 0:30 (20:50) - No come up as yet. Feeling relaxed. Flutter in the chest. Have been reading subjective reports on this compound for ideas on when the come-up may occur. Have also been listening to a few soul and Motown albums I downloaded earlier today.
T: 0:40 (21:00) - Ooooh! That's nice. The flutter has developed into a warmth and a mild sweat. Not too overpowering. Slight fuzziness in the head, but still very clear. Mental capacities still intact and able to type. Listening to a John Legend album (of all things) on a 5.1 home cinema that is streaming via an X-Box. Visuals are also being displayed on flatscreen TV that occupies most of my forward vision. Read that alcohol potentiates Mephedrone's effects. Mix a vodka and the remainder of a can of coke from the Chinese meal. The coke is tepid, but it tastes great.
T: 0:50 (21:10) - Man, this is very nice. No idea if the alcohol has done something, but I'm well away now. Heart is pounding and the music sounds powerful. No desire to add in any other compound. As yet. Have read that some people drop another 200mg capsule after 30 minutes. I'm tempted... but feel that it may be a mistake for the first time. Sweaty palms. Stretching feels great. Armpits sweaty. Hahaha! Fuck it.
T: 1:00 (21:20) - Significant pupil dilation. Also finding a tendency to run my tongue along the inside of my bottom lip. This is something I tend to do on MDMA. Something that has been pointed out to me to the great amusement of others. John Legend is now repeating himself. Poor man. On the subject of MDMA similarity, there's a distinct lack of the anxiety that MDMA creates in me. I'm not sure whether that's because I'm on my own, in familiar surroundings or if there's a chemical difference in the drug itself. It makes me wonder how the experience of many drugs must be horribly coloured by their use in environments that are packed to the gills with strangers. Feels like a very good pill. Must check my spelling! :D
T: 1:20 (21:40) - More MDMA-like qualities. Significant jaw clenching. This is both a positive and negative feature. I actually quite like the sensation in a self-destructive way. I just know I'll pay for it in the morning. Speaking of which, I have some 5-HTP to assist any come-downs tomorrow. Vodka and coke is strong. Stronger than I would normally drink it. The taste of the vodka seems to have taken a more form palatable form. While the coke is masking it, I can actually taste the subtleties of the vodka. Makes me think of a guy I once met at University (he sold me my first pill at Uni). He used to be able to drink vodka straight from the bottle. I once witnessed him drink a half bottle of vodka in a single gulp. Looking back, he was probably quite mentally ill. I hope he's still around. I hope he found something like the contentment I feel right now.
T: 1:30 (21:50) - Feeling like I want to dance, but it doesn't have the kick-in-the-arse amphetamine feel that I have a love/hate relationship with. Been thinking about having a cigarette. I'm an "ex-smoker" who still smokes occasionally. I tend to believe that abstinence is as absurd as addiction... in that both announce that you don't trust yourself to behave responsibly. That said, I'm debating as to whether the use of a second compound - tobacco or spice - would effect the purity of the experience. Even now, the Super Ego is wagging it's finger. Stupid Super Ego! :D
T: 1:45 (22:05) - Id comes back with a vengeance! It reminds me that there's a bottle of Amyl poppers in the bedroom. Shit! I'm a bit of a fiend for poppers in the clubs. Particularly if the pill needs some assistance to bring me up (or is it my Super Ego getting in the way that can prevent a come up?). But does this mephedrone need assistance? It's certainly more subtle at this dose than what I would expect from a decent shot of MDMA. Definitely need a cigarette! :D Decision made.
T: 1:50 (22:10) - Poor old John Legend has been repeating himself at least twice now. He must be tired. Change of music to Best of Chicane 1996 - 2002. Downloaded a few weeks ago but never played it. Should be interesting to see how a change of pace might affect things. Now where was that cigarette?
T: 2:10 (22:30) - Made an equally-strong vodka and fruit juice prior to smoking the cigarette. I don't always appreciate the taste of tobacco, so a drink is always a welcome accompaniment. Go onto the balcony overlooking the river to smoke the cigarette. Not the same oral pleasure (lol) one would normally get through smoking while on MDMA. Still pleasant nonetheless. Introspection is, I think, superficial and limited to positive vibes - not that there's anything wrong with that! Thoughts of my girlfriend and how I much love her run through my mind. She's been though a lot but I'm so glad that I was privileged to be by her side through everything. I hope I've done all I can to support her, but I know that I've probably neglected her with my education and profession demanding so much of my time.
I go to the bathroom and attempt to pass urine. Some difficulty, but nothing like how it is on MDMA. The fact that I don't have some steroid-abusing freak by my side (like what always seems to happen in club toilets) is probably a big help. I wash my hands to remove the smell of smoke (and, well... it's just good hygiene, isn't it?).
When I return from the bathroom, my cat, Oscar, has moved from the living room into the spare bedroom and is sat on a dressing table that is strewn with my girlfriend's make-up, mirrors and such. He lets me stroke him and is receptive to my attention. I rest my head on one of his front paws, bringing my eyes at the same level as his. He's so receptive... I wonder if it's because I'm more gentle with him in this state? I've never really bought the idea that animals know when you're tripping (or in a more animalistic, primal state... lol), but I do think that he sees a change in behaviour. More deferential perhaps? Considering doing another capsule to see where this might go. They were right about this being more-ish!
T: 2:20 (22:40) - I think the peak has gone. Still dancing in my seat and tapping my feet to Chicane. Should I risk the demon poppers? Speaking of which, I think if I was in a club, I'd probably be tempted to hammer the poppers on mephedrone. Feels like it just needs that extra 'zing'.
T: 2:50 (23:10) - Give in to temptation... partially, having read another trip report. I get another capsule but stop short. I decide that another 200mg would be too much for my firt time. I crack the capsule open and wrap half the content in a single ply of a small amount of tissue paper with the intention of parachuting it. Id suggests that Plan A is interesting, but might be even more fun if I snorted the 100mg. I eagerly roll a Post-It note (classy), taking care to make sure that the sticky glue strip will not be on the interior of the makeshift nostril-assisting hoover. I then open up the tissue paper parcel, dumping the powder on the coffee table, before making two thick lines with a credit card. It takes me three snorts for each nostril. The sensation isn't as bad as some reports had led me to believe, but the amount of powder necessitates a patient and incremental approach. The drip down the back of my throat isn't particularly pleasant. The powder has an interesting sweet smell is is slightly yellow. I eat the demoted tissue paper that contains the residue. Waste not, want not!
T: 2:55 (23:15) - Noticeable change in visual acuity. Eyes darting in the same way my tongue runs along my bottom lip. Emotion more focussed. Not quite as blissful. May be due to music being a little harder.
T: 3:00 (23:20) - Music has lightened and I'm feeling quite full of energy. Perhaps not the physical energy than can fuel the kind of ludicrous dancing that I'm accustomed to giving people the pleasure of being witness to (haha), but the rhythm of music is so easily discernible and it connects with me easily. Visual acuity awry. That extra 100mg re-dose has clouded my mind slightly. Colour appreciation has increased. Not the subtle pastels of mescaline, or the dripping primaries of LSD, but a simple appreciation for bold colours and contrasts. No visual distortions, but that is as expected.
T: 3:40 (00:00) - I decide that Chicane was a success, but I opt to change the music. I try a Mary J Blige album but find the introduction to the album (which bigs herself up and her achievements) a little self-congratulatory. I settle on the Brand New Heavies. Visualiser is distracting. Passing urine was quite difficult, but it prompted me to think that other than the alcoholic drinks, I haven't been taking in much water. As I let the tap run to get the coldest water possible from the frigid outdoors, the sound of rushing water has a "tinny" dimension - perhaps in contrast to the 5.1 system I've been listening to? It lasts only briefly and I fill a bottle up with cool tap water.
T: 3:50 (00:10) - The water has taken away some of the fuzziness. Not feeling quite so high. Although I'm amazed at how dexterous I am considering what I've taken. Jaw is getting quite sore.
T: 4:05 (00:25) - Tried the poppers after some debate. :D The 100mg bump was fairly short lived... I figure I can maybe rejuvenate it as is achievable with a slowly evaporating MDMA high. Bad move. The poppers don't have the euphoric body explosion I get when on good MDMA. It really is a headache in a bottle with mephedrone. Search for information on paracetamol and mephedrone interactions...
T: 4:10 (00:30) - Typing accuracy decreasing. Cannot find interaction information. Slight twinge of liver (under the bottom my right rib cage).
T: 4:25 (00:45) - Liver/rib pain has subsided. Feel slightly tired/lethargic. I don't want to re-dose. I think this may be the rule of diminishing returns... but this runs contrary to the anecdotal reports of people re-dosing with sustained empathic effects. Perhaps the 100mg wasn't enough to sustain it? Anyway, perhaps a change of pace in music is required again? Kirlian Selections by The Flashbulb is my choice. Gritty. Challenging. A reciprocal album exchange courtesy of Ted from many moons ago. While I've grown to love the album over the years, it has the potential to end this happy place I find myself in at the moment.
T: 4:45 (01:05) - Sorry Ted! It's killing me! :D A random selection falls to Stevie Wonder, The Definitive Collection. First track... "Uptight (Everything's alright)". Youbetchya! Feeling more balanced now. Headache passed pretty quickly, but my jaw and teeth are taking a battering, despite having a box of chewing gum on hand.
T: 5:05 (01:25) - Looked at myself in the mirror. I don't look too wrecked. My pupils are still considerably dilated, but I don't have that crazed stare that an amphetamine-laced pill often gives you, nor have I throughout the session. I still move to the sound of "Superstition" but movement is less energetic and, consequently, less rewarding. Jaw still aches. Want to take the paracetamol.
T: 5:45 (02:05) - Took 400mg ibuprofen about 15 minutes ago after reading some related threads on various forums. I feel quite 'normal' now. Not quite baseline, but the empathic and sensual element has become residual. Left with a propensity to move to the music (now much quieter, but still Stevie Wonder) but without what minimal energy the mephedrone initially provided.
T: 6:15 (02:35) - Despite drinking more water (two and a half, 500ml bottles), mephedrone seems to have a lesser diuretic effect than MDMA. I've probably had about three or four reasonably-sized pisses over the last 6 hours. At no point have I had the horrendous "eternally-bursting-for-a-pee-but-nothing-comes-out" sensation. There's certainly pressure in the bladder, but it's nothing near as distracting as it can be on MDMA. Nor for that matter, have I experienced the equally intimidating threat of having to rush to the toilet when gastro-intestinal discomfort sets in... as it often does with MDMA for me, sadly (not pleasant when aforementioned steroid-abusing freak is in the same club toilet :D). Perhaps this is related to what I perceive as lower anxiety-provoking characteristics in mephedrone? Less anxiety, less GI strain.
T: 6:35 (02:55) - Decide to smoke the spice joint I made earlier as a wind-down for sleep. It's tobacco/spice mix, but only with minimal spice in it as I didn't want to overdo it on the first experiment. I go out to the balcony again (it's a Juliet balcony... we're not posh enough to have a proper one - haha). I wrap the curtain around the back of me, just like last time, so to prevent the smoke lingering in the living room. The city looks much the same as it did 6 hours ago - a picture of shimmering blackness made wet from a delicious burst of rain. The sounds of people going home faintly brush my ears as I smoke the joint.
After finishing it (and giving the roach to the river below), I see Oscar at my feet looking up at me. He's the best purchase we ever made. The TV could blow up tomorrow and it wouldn't matter... Oscar's worth so much more!
He likes going out on the balcony and eating spiders, but I have to deny him that simple pleasure this time as it's far too cold to keep the door open. I pick him up, along with my bottle of water and put him down on the sofa before sitting beside him. He stays with me for a short time, no more than 15 seconds, before giving me a disgruntled look and walking off, stopping only to knock the water bottle cap off the coffee table - presumably in feline revenge for not letting him out. Back to normal then! Aloof, yet capable of the most intense affection... but only on his own terms.T: 7:25 (03:45) - Spice joint had minimal effect. Slight feeling of excitation, but that could just as easily been from the tobacco/placebo. Obviously not enough in the joint. I think I'll test spice on it's own some other time. But for now, it's time for bed. Happy with the mephedrone's performance tonight. Might suggest to my girlfriend that we go clubbing next week. Haven't been for ages. I think we deserve some down time!
Thanks for reading,
W
Postscript: Didn't get to bed until T: 8:00 (04:20). Eyes were still heavily dilated and heart was pounding. Left with excitatory effects but without the energy or tactility to enjoy. I'm surprised that this excess of residual excitation or restlessness didn't manifest itself into an anxiety state. Instead, I lay awake for at least two hours, perfectly calm and steady. I got perhaps an hour or so of snooze in-between the occasional trip to the toilet. I know I experienced some bizarre mental imagery and symbolism during that period. My mind allowed itself to project on the blackness of the bedroom. I have no idea if such projections were the work of the residual mephedrone effects or the closer intake of spice (will need to re-try). Pupil dilation returned to normal around T: 10:00 (06:20) or sometime in the preceding two hours.
It's now T: 12:30 (08:50), yet my tongue is still pre-disposed to running around my bottom lip and my jaw continues to bite down involuntarily, despite the fragile state my mouth is in. Visual acuity is largely back to normal, although I detect a slight slowness in focussing when something is dead ahead of me. I wouldn't wish to drive at this point. Took more ibuprofen (400mg) to ease jaw tension. Next time I use this, I think I would prefer to have a couple of benzodiazepines on hand to promote sleep. Possibly make use of pre-loaded magnesium as a preventative measure for the bruxism.
Jaw clenching finally subsided at around T: 16:40 (13:00) but I've had to continue taking painkillers for the resulting damage (swollen interiors to my mouth and a vice-like strain that goes from the bottom of my neck, throughout my jaw, and around the back of my head). I've also taken two doses of 5-HTP to mitigate any possible seratonin depletion... although given that the mephedrone high was nowhere near as intense as with MDMA, I can't imagine that the chemical/emotional trade-off would be of a similar severity.
Definitely worth exploring again but with some preparation.
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