Mentally addicted to drugs.. advice?

[megd23]

Hi,

So I've been messing with opiates for almost 2 years. Back in the day, I messed around with ladders and loved them. I'd drink smoke some weed and felt on top of the world. I was around 16 then. I maybe tried a few norcos here and there then...and then the opiates came into the picture seriously. I started dating a guy from my past who had a consistent connect with norcos, oxys, roxys, etc. As our relationship grew, I realized what he was doing and he didn't like me taking benzos. In a messed up way I wanted to feel how "he felt on opiates" because I never understood it.

At the beginning, I would puke from 3 norcos. and now almost 18 months later 4 norcos is nothing. I was introduced to blues and i love the rush and feeling of them like no other, almost better than a bar. The blues turned into more norcos, OP60s and 80s... even fentanyl patches and dilaudids most recently. My bf and I have been on a drug binge which were calling our "going out with a bang". He is ready & capable of quitting with his suboxone prescription, but I feel like I cannot quit. i want to so bad for my body and myself. But sometimes, since we live together, I just associate him with drugs and getting fucked up. I tried H for the first time senior year in HS in 2011 and now the past 4 days i've been doing it. I don't feel like im getting physical withdrawls... well maybe bcuz I am constantly sweating at work. But he is planning on getting clean and I want to too.. but can a relatinoshp that was once based on drugs work out. It worries me, and for both our own well beings....

Anyway maybe i"m in denial but i feel like i suffer more mental withdrawals. Maybe its because its an alcohol, benzo, and opiate thing. I don't want to see a doctor or therapist because I've seen one before and only I can help myself. My problem is I have a quick temper and once something goes wrong I automatically want to start using. I am repressing my issues & am wondering if anyone else feels this way or has any advice to help me towards sober living

Btw, I hope I posted this in the right forum... sorry if I didn't I'm still new here

thanks,
meg

 

[cg9256]

Maybe you should try to quit one thing at a time meg, it could be too much to quit everything all at once. Do some more research on suboxone, it might or might not be something you want to mess with. I think your boyfriend getting clean could be a great thing for you too. Ask him how he does it, and see if you could do the same. Its easier to quit when you have to, like for me I have to quit for drug tests, and its kind of a good thing that i have to quit once and a while. Take it one day at a time or set a goal just to go one week and then you can start using again. Maybe after that week you wont want to use! And try exercising, because i know a lot of addicts who became addicted to the "runners high" after quitting opiates, which is a good thing.

 

[The Doc.]

Are you dependent on opiates? Do you absolutely need an opiate to hold down your breakfast everyday you wake up? If so suboxone may be for yoy