Trigger Warning Mental health varying types and trigger warings and procedure

[Ex-Cracker]

Hi folks, dont know if this already a thread, but i have bipolar dissefective disorder, just thought i would try and open up the topic of differing conditions and trigger warnings and procedures if anyone is intrested and/or talking about their conditionsand how they deal with such. Just that there maybe some green and bluelighters that such discoussion will help?

 

[ANGTFT]

Hello.

I have CPTSD.

They initially thought BPD but I don’t have abandonment issues in fact emotional intimacy except with my kids is very uncomfortable for me - though I do have rejection sensitivity.

I’m also waiting for an ADHD assessment as I have so many characteristics of ADHD.

I grew up with a very mentally unwell sister so saw a few psychs as a family from 4 ish onwards.

I can’t remember exactly why other than struggling at school but aged 11 I got my own Child Psychologist.

I had a bit of a breakdown aged 12 as I didn’t want to go into school. I have a severe visual impairment (I can see a bit but not well 4/60 vision) which made learning much harder by trying to access the material.

The breakdown involved me saying to my parents if I had to go back in I’d SH and I got an instrument if you get what I mean.

Was diagnosed then with Clinical Depression and started on antidepressants which I’ve been on most my life.

Ever since then I’ve had Seasonal Affective Disorder September to November except the years I was pregnant strangely.

Now throughout childhood and in my teen years I went through some traumatic stuff so obviously my lack of emotional regulation, impulsivity, lumpiness, easily overwhelmed, people pleasing etc was just what I expected.

I’d also do a lot of Disassociation which I still do to this day and I don’t really know it’s happening except that I don’t recall certain periods or they’re a bit dream like.

Anyway lots happened abusive telationships, going to College etc. saw Child Psychologist until 18 and had a few brief periods of counselling as an adult and a Trauma Group last year.

It wasn’t until 2 and a half years ago where someone mentioned something happened to me a certain night when I’d drank a lot. I knew something that had happened that night that was traumatising but it wasn’t until something else. This time though the floodwaters opened and I started to remember so many traumas and mostly not the visuals but the extreme emotions I had at the time.

So I decided I needed to look into a diagnosis and find out ‘what’s wrong with me so I can fix it’.

This is where a year later I got assessed and the first person said BPD but the Psychiatrist said CPTSD.

That was longer than intended I’m sorry just wanted to give some backstory.

Big triggers for me but certainly not the only ones are listed below. Sometimes I don’t even know what triggered me:

- Being told to stop talking or stop talking so loud
- Any sound of extreme irritation in the voice
- Someone picking at everything I say it’s hard to describe but it’s like when you pick something up and they mildly say what are you doing and you say what you’re doing and they say oh eight in a very irritable manner. Like they need to micromanage everything you do. My ex and current partner both do this and it’s hard to describe but the moodiness makes me afraid as my ex would smash things, hit, SAme or cry clutching my leg he was very erratic.
- Sudden loud noises
- A door knockinh
- My phone ringing especially if it’s not on quiet mode— I genuinely feel sick and afraid which is why I always have my phone on silent mode.
- Being gaslit in any way such as ‘I never said that’ or ‘You never mentioned that to me’ even worse when they get angry at you for me then say you share a part of the conversation where you mentioned it so they know you did as you know that they do this then they get annoyed that you’re trying to prove a point and then don’t apologise until you won’t tell to them but it’s not genuine. Yeah unfortunately these are common.
- Being made aware I’m being watched or followed ‘I can see you’re at x location on the app’ ‘oh our friend told me where you went last night and with who’ even worse if they’re telling you off because of this.
- Bring told I’m lazy
- Being told I’m selfish
- Being sexually touched. Sometimes with a warm up it’s fine but if you’re touching me anywhere near a sexual place I’m petrified.

I do have more but I’d be here hours. Cliff Notes: being made to feel bad or crazy, having my autonomy removed and feeling trapped.

Be interested to know yours and others as well.

Again sorry it’s so long stay strong.

 

[KurtAurelius]

Hi folks, dont know if this already a thread, but i have bipolar dissefective disorder, just thought i would try and open up the topic of differing conditions and trigger warnings and procedures if anyone is intrested and/or talking about their conditionsand how they deal with such. Just that there maybe some green and bluelighters that such discoussion will help?

ADHD (more neurodevolpmental)
EUPD
And been diagnosed depressed and anxious previously..

ADHD I manage through my stimulant, which generally makes my life far more worth living.

I can’t explain how terrible it is to no matter how hard I’ve tried, or how disciplined I live (sleep,diet,exercise, meditation etc) to find each moment agony because your bored, restless, and need something good enough to keep you going but not ever living.

I’m pairing this with my previous work, and therapy to reinforce the positive effects of the stimulants and my previous behaviours due to the gap, like binge eating, over exercising, horrendous impatience and so many more..

EUPD- I’ve found a lot of good resources, like the DBT handbook, and Pete Walkers book “surviving to thriving” which centres on CTPSD but really applies to trauma, which most have. I’ve learned to spot my pervasive patterns in my relationships, and how easy I can slip into black and white thinking and the like.

This has only improved due to positive actions, as EUPD for me is deep set trauma and patterns learned through poor actions. Like my cutting and burning, my compulsive spending, binge eating, seeking out sex, burning my bridges, and living through a very selfish superficial world based on my feelings.

Being generally low mood my whole life with periods of irratic and impulsive lifts, Exercise, eating well (including supplementing anything that may be deficient), having a postive social circle, and engaging in creative projects for myself have largely abated more chronic Depression as I made it worse through my self neglect and my chronic drug use.

 

[KurtAurelius]

Hello.

I have CPTSD.

They initially thought BPD but I don’t have abandonment issues in fact emotional intimacy except with my kids is very uncomfortable for me - though I do have rejection sensitivity.

I’m also waiting for an ADHD assessment as I have so many characteristics of ADHD.

I grew up with a very mentally unwell sister so saw a few psychs as a family from 4 ish onwards.

I can’t remember exactly why other than struggling at school but aged 11 I got my own Child Psychologist.

I had a bit of a breakdown aged 12 as I didn’t want to go into school. I have a severe visual impairment (I can see a bit but not well 4/60 vision) which made learning much harder by trying to access the material.

The breakdown involved me saying to my parents if I had to go back in I’d SH and I got an instrument if you get what I mean.

Was diagnosed then with Clinical Depression and started on antidepressants which I’ve been on most my life.

Ever since then I’ve had Seasonal Affective Disorder September to November except the years I was pregnant strangely.

Now throughout childhood and in my teen years I went through some traumatic stuff so obviously my lack of emotional regulation, impulsivity, lumpiness, easily overwhelmed, people pleasing etc was just what I expected.

I’d also do a lot of Disassociation which I still do to this day and I don’t really know it’s happening except that I don’t recall certain periods or they’re a bit dream like.

Anyway lots happened abusive telationships, going to College etc. saw Child Psychologist until 18 and had a few brief periods of counselling as an adult and a Trauma Group last year.

It wasn’t until 2 and a half years ago where someone mentioned something happened to me a certain night when I’d drank a lot. I knew something that had happened that night that was traumatising but it wasn’t until something else. This time though the floodwaters opened and I started to remember so many traumas and mostly not the visuals but the extreme emotions I had at the time.

So I decided I needed to look into a diagnosis and find out ‘what’s wrong with me so I can fix it’.

This is where a year later I got assessed and the first person said BPD but the Psychiatrist said CPTSD.

That was longer than intended I’m sorry just wanted to give some backstory.

Big triggers for me but certainly not the only ones are listed below. Sometimes I don’t even know what triggered me:

- Being told to stop talking or stop talking so loud
- Any sound of extreme irritation in the voice
- Someone picking at everything I say it’s hard to describe but it’s like when you pick something up and they mildly say what are you doing and you say what you’re doing and they say oh eight in a very irritable manner. Like they need to micromanage everything you do. My ex and current partner both do this and it’s hard to describe but the moodiness makes me afraid as my ex would smash things, hit, SAme or cry clutching my leg he was very erratic.
- Sudden loud noises
- A door knockinh
- My phone ringing especially if it’s not on quiet mode— I genuinely feel sick and afraid which is why I always have my phone on silent mode.
- Being gaslit in any way such as ‘I never said that’ or ‘You never mentioned that to me’ even worse when they get angry at you for me then say you share a part of the conversation where you mentioned it so they know you did as you know that they do this then they get annoyed that you’re trying to prove a point and then don’t apologise until you won’t tell to them but it’s not genuine. Yeah unfortunately these are common.
- Being made aware I’m being watched or followed ‘I can see you’re at x location on the app’ ‘oh our friend told me where you went last night and with who’ even worse if they’re telling you off because of this.
- Bring told I’m lazy
- Being told I’m selfish
- Being sexually touched. Sometimes with a warm up it’s fine but if you’re touching me anywhere near a sexual place I’m petrified.

I do have more but I’d be here hours. Cliff Notes: being made to feel bad or crazy, having my autonomy removed and feeling trapped.

Be interested to know yours and others as well.

Again sorry it’s so long stay strong.

Good luck with the ADHD assessment hope you have a answer soon, mine really resolved a lot of questions, including nasty ones regarding my moral “failures” for not being good enough or content with my life.

You sound extremely self aware, hope your doing okay out there

 

[Ex-Cracker]

I relate to all posts myself and I have vanquished some problems but depression of fuck ups and failed relationships still prevail to a certain amount but now I enjoy my chastity but have frustration of unemployment bipolar and seemingly no mission in life but I hope that it's temporary no matter how long it takes to move on or find a different route. to you

 

[speed-limper]

I have paranoid schizophrenia, if you still breait into distinction.

The easiest way to describe a psychotic episode would be think of staying up 4 or 5 days, how your mind gets and what it is reacting to, if anything. That state of thinking can last weeks or months if I'm not careful. I regularly have auditory and visual hallucinations. I don't like AP meds because I used to have color hallucinations, after being forced onto 6mg risperdone that stopped. The hallucinations aren't scary unless I start to perceive them as threatening and a danger.

Typical symptoms compose of positive, negative, and cognitive. Word salad and disorganized thinking. Hallucinations, delusions, grandiose thinking. And very blunt emotions to cap it off.

The worst time was after my mom passed, I thought "they" had replaced my wife and family and there was no one left for me but my son.

It's hard to really lay out how it is to have schizophrenia and how so much ebbs and flows with it, feel free to reach out and ask me some stuff, I like to share about it.

 

[KurtAurelius]

I have paranoid schizophrenia, if you still breait into distinction.

The easiest way to describe a psychotic episode would be think of staying up 4 or 5 days, how your mind gets and what it is reacting to, if anything. That state of thinking can last weeks or months if I'm not careful. I regularly have auditory and visual hallucinations. I don't like AP meds because I used to have color hallucinations, after being forced onto 6mg risperdone that stopped. The hallucinations aren't scary unless I start to perceive them as threatening and a danger.

Typical symptoms compose of positive, negative, and cognitive. Word salad and disorganized thinking. Hallucinations, delusions, grandiose thinking. And very blunt emotions to cap it off.

The worst time was after my mom passed, I thought "they" had replaced my wife and family and there was no one left for me but my son.

It's hard to really lay out how it is to have schizophrenia and how so much ebbs and flows with it, feel free to reach out and ask me some stuff, I like to share about it.

I can’t even imagine this, but it’s always something I’ve wanted to try understand better, so thank you for sharing your story.

I don’t want to prattle about people I’ve known with similar experiences but just to say they were some of the most beautiful people inside I’ve ever met.

I hope your afforded the opportunity to share your gift to the world, and that the world in turn learns how to get better to help, not just drugs with commonly debilitating sides.

How early was your onset?

 

[speed-limper]

I can’t even imagine this, but it’s always something I’ve wanted to try understand better, so thank you for sharing your story.

I don’t want to prattle about people I’ve known with similar experiences but just to say they were some of the most beautiful people inside I’ve ever met.

I hope your afforded the opportunity to share your gift to the world, and that the world in turn learns how to get better to help, not just drugs with commonly debilitating sides.

How early was your onset?

I have hallucinationed for almost as long as I can remember. Before my little sisters were born, before my 2nd clubfoot surgery at 4, it was a Victorian era looking shadow person who was always whittling in a dark area.


I feel that for people like me, this situations are always looked at in a dark and dreary way, you can't let people dictate how it'll affect your lifestyle and happiness from life.

 

[Ex-Cracker]

Hello.

I have CPTSD.

They initially thought BPD but I don’t have abandonment issues in fact emotional intimacy except with my kids is very uncomfortable for me - though I do have rejection sensitivity.

I’m also waiting for an ADHD assessment as I have so many characteristics of ADHD.

I grew up with a very mentally unwell sister so saw a few psychs as a family from 4 ish onwards.

I can’t remember exactly why other than struggling at school but aged 11 I got my own Child Psychologist.

I had a bit of a breakdown aged 12 as I didn’t want to go into school. I have a severe visual impairment (I can see a bit but not well 4/60 vision) which made learning much harder by trying to access the material.

The breakdown involved me saying to my parents if I had to go back in I’d SH and I got an instrument if you get what I mean.

Was diagnosed then with Clinical Depression and started on antidepressants which I’ve been on most my life.

Ever since then I’ve had Seasonal Affective Disorder September to November except the years I was pregnant strangely.

Now throughout childhood and in my teen years I went through some traumatic stuff so obviously my lack of emotional regulation, impulsivity, lumpiness, easily overwhelmed, people pleasing etc was just what I expected.

I’d also do a lot of Disassociation which I still do to this day and I don’t really know it’s happening except that I don’t recall certain periods or they’re a bit dream like.

Anyway lots happened abusive telationships, going to College etc. saw Child Psychologist until 18 and had a few brief periods of counselling as an adult and a Trauma Group last year.

It wasn’t until 2 and a half years ago where someone mentioned something happened to me a certain night when I’d drank a lot. I knew something that had happened that night that was traumatising but it wasn’t until something else. This time though the floodwaters opened and I started to remember so many traumas and mostly not the visuals but the extreme emotions I had at the time.

So I decided I needed to look into a diagnosis and find out ‘what’s wrong with me so I can fix it’.

This is where a year later I got assessed and the first person said BPD but the Psychiatrist said CPTSD.

That was longer than intended I’m sorry just wanted to give some backstory.

Big triggers for me but certainly not the only ones are listed below. Sometimes I don’t even know what triggered me:

- Being told to stop talking or stop talking so loud
- Any sound of extreme irritation in the voice
- Someone picking at everything I say it’s hard to describe but it’s like when you pick something up and they mildly say what are you doing and you say what you’re doing and they say oh eight in a very irritable manner. Like they need to micromanage everything you do. My ex and current partner both do this and it’s hard to describe but the moodiness makes me afraid as my ex would smash things, hit, SAme or cry clutching my leg he was very erratic.
- Sudden loud noises
- A door knockinh
- My phone ringing especially if it’s not on quiet mode— I genuinely feel sick and afraid which is why I always have my phone on silent mode.
- Being gaslit in any way such as ‘I never said that’ or ‘You never mentioned that to me’ even worse when they get angry at you for me then say you share a part of the conversation where you mentioned it so they know you did as you know that they do this then they get annoyed that you’re trying to prove a point and then don’t apologise until you won’t tell to them but it’s not genuine. Yeah unfortunately these are common.
- Being made aware I’m being watched or followed ‘I can see you’re at x location on the app’ ‘oh our friend told me where you went last night and with who’ even worse if they’re telling you off because of this.
- Bring told I’m lazy
- Being told I’m selfish
- Being sexually touched. Sometimes with a warm up it’s fine but if you’re touching me anywhere near a sexual place I’m petrified.

I do have more but I’d be here hours. Cliff Notes: being made to feel bad or crazy, having my autonomy removed and feeling trapped.

Be interested to know yours and others as well.

Again sorry it’s so long stay strong

 

[Ex-Cracker]

to you!