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Mental Health Mental health and relatives

nuttynutskin

nuttynutskin

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Joined
May 15, 2011
Messages
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Have you guys found your relatives to be normally helpful when it comes to your mental problems or the opposite? In my experience relatives aren't always the best ones to go to for advice or help. E.g. according to a certain relative of mine bipolar is made up and everyone is bipolar because everyone gets depressed. This person has a degree in psychology, albeit probably from the mid 60's. You would think someone would do some more current research especially if they have plenty of their own mental problems. Some people... 8( Anyways what are your experiences?
 
Though my parents don't really understand everything fully, they do what they can for me and are extremely helpful. I was so terrified of telling them about my problems for such a long long time so I was surprised to find out how open they were. I don't really talk about my mental health with other relatives. This is mostly because I'm not very close to other relatives. That's not to say I wouldn't talk about it with them, the subject has just never come up. I think the best thing you can do with those that don't understand or have misinterpretations is to try to educate them.
 
I've tried that approach but you can't educate someone who doesn't want to be educated. Oh and it's always nice when someone uses your mental illness against you. Especially when it's one that you don't even have. lol
 
nuttynutskin said:
Have you guys found your relatives to be normally helpful when it comes to your mental problems or the opposite? In my experience relatives aren't always the best ones to go to for advice or help. E.g. according to a certain relative of mine bipolar is made up and everyone is bipolar because everyone gets depressed. This person has a degree in psychology, albeit probably from the mid 60's. You would think someone would do some more current research especially if they have plenty of their own mental problems. Some people... 8( Anyways what are your experiences?
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Bipolar is a documented psychiatric disorder. With a medical degree, they should know better!

Generally speaking, I tend to keep my issues from my family for fear of judgement. My parents know about my anxiety issues, but I don't get into deeper issues like substance abuse/past substance abuse etc with them. Unfortunately many people are ignorant of mental illness. When someone doesn't understand something they have a tendency to brush it off or over react to it. Since many people do not educate themselves about mental health, I just keep it to myself because from my experience it's just judgement.
 
Ive told my family about my mental health issues. Its been no help. All its done is make them worry.

My Gran and my sister try to support me, but my mother and father just worry. This is exactly what i dont need as i find that very undermining. They either cant be strong for me to give me the support i need, or still dont understand that i need them to be strong and not worry. Either way it makes matters worse.
 
Family is usually the worse because you get the biases....

You say degree, do you mean BA? If they got a BA in the 60s, I mean it's really not relevant.. if they're practicing in the field then they would usually have at least a masters but it's usually up to that individual to seek updated scholarly articles, etc.. You also mentioned that she IS bipolar.. err..?? Please see your own psychologist..
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
Family is usually the worse because you get the biases....

You say degree, do you mean BA? If they got a BA in the 60s, I mean it's really not relevant.. if they're practicing in the field then they would usually have at least a masters but it's usually up to that individual to seek updated scholarly articles, etc.. You also mentioned that she IS bipolar.. err..?? Please see your own psychologist..
Click to expand...

Probably whatever the lowest degree is. They've never practiced psychology they just like to sound high and mighty. And it's not a she... Never said he was bipolar for sure (I'm not a doctor), although it wouldn't surprise me. Just said that he has his own mental problems yet will go on about how bad drugs are and refuse to get any help or even admit he has a problem. It's always everyone else.
 
I think it comes down to everyones individual personal relationships with their parents, and the combined personalities of all involved. My family tries to be very supporting but i usually isolate myself from them. I can see this behaviour stems from my relationship with my parents when I was younger.

I think the best thing to do, in general, is to surround yourself with people which has a positive influence to your mood and emotional/mental health. Those that arent helpful - keep your distance
 
I'll tell them about my anxiety and depression...

But when it comes to whatever "delusions" or magical thinking I have I just stfu.
 
In a perfect world people would be understanding of mental health. Then again, if it were a perfect world, we wouldn't have to deal with mental illness :\
 
I think everyone will try to "diagnose"/something what your "mental health" problems are.. but noone really has to deal with it except you. I tend to disregard anything ANYONE who isnt in my position to tell me "whats happened to me" (mental-health) or why it happened. Talking to others generally tends to not be helpful to me unless they also have dealt with the same "mental illness" as me, because it feels like the other person is really just trying to GET ME TO TELL THEM about my ideas on my "illness". And that includes therapists/psychiatrists/stuff.
 
I find certain relatives are like that with me and my addiction. Basically they think I brought it on myself etc etc etc. Anyway I'm not sure what best to tell you. I think that some people are scared and go into denial so put these barriers up. As hard as it is, try not to take it personally. Try to concentrate and YOU and getting well. Do something for you ok. There will always be judgement - it's how we respond to it and deal with it that counts.
Take care and focus on YOU,
Evey xxx
 
Both. My family can be very supportive, but if I don't put up boundaries they sometimes cross the line into being critical. It's great to have a support system, but nothing takes the place of a good mental health professional.
 
My experiences were mostly negative. Friends shuffled away into the cold mist, never to be seen again. Relatives meant well, but lurched in, all heavy hands and bold words, that bruised and confused me. Psychiatrists and doctors fed me cliched bullshit and bucket loads of meds.

I found my friends in pretty porn actresses. They smiled, got their tits and ass out, and gave me exactly what I wanted. Orgasms, dopamine rushes, someone who'd listen without prejudice, while I fucked my way into temporary remission.

Ask your friends and relatives to be patient, gentle and...just there!
 
nuttynutskin said:
Have you guys found your relatives to be normally helpful when it comes to your mental problems or the opposite? In my experience relatives aren't always the best ones to go to for advice or help. E.g. according to a certain relative of mine bipolar is made up and everyone is bipolar because everyone gets depressed. This person has a degree in psychology, albeit probably from the mid 60's. You would think someone would do some more current research especially if they have plenty of their own mental problems. Some people... 8( Anyways what are your experiences?
Click to expand...

Definitely not the best support system. My relatives who don't suffer from mental illness are sort of "howyadoin? (pleasejust say ok so it's not awkward and we can talk about the weather)...", my relatives who have mental illness (bipolar, schizophrenia) either think that i'm fine and dandy when i'm in mild crisis mode or smother the everliving shit out of me when i'm deeper in the danger zone.

It's kind of amazing/alarming how few truly empathetic/compassionate people there are in the world. I don't say that as as 'woe is the state of the world' kind of statement, but as something that still need to learn and pick up on at 31 years old. If it doesn't directly pertain to them, or one of a narrow range of personal interests, things like mental illness, or anything for that matter, just don't register as 'a thing' with others.

I can imagine telling my story about bipolar and my struggles with it, and their internal dialogue being something like "ok, hmm, bipolar, is that where you hear voices? I wonder when the Patriots are on....is all the dip gone, i should see if i can claim that trip to Florida as a business expense on my taxes" then them just saying something "umm ahh yeah, wow,that must have been tough, hang in there champ, you want a beer?"

I'm starting to understand that qualified mental healthcare professionals are to be relied upon....even if they're kind of creepy, the building smells funny, and it makes me FEEL like a crazy person to go and see one where i didn't feel that way (but was of course) before.
 
In my experience, your parents or relatives can identify patterns of behavior that maybe beneficial to surface, but a psychiatrist or psychotherapist would be the most beneficial to understanding or changing thinking or behavior.
 
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