Men

[socko]

What specifically do you want to know? Anyway, I have a few suggestions: Don't go out with date rapers. As a dude, I think I can spot the kind of guy who might do that, but a lot of women can't. In America, I've read that 1 in 4 women gets raped, and it's usually date rape. A new school year is starting and this has been inthe media a lot - mostly focusing on freshmen women being the most likely victims. Don't go out with obsessive stalkers. Same about spotting them. Try to find somebody who is more educated than you are. Otherwise, women tend not to respect his intelligence/ambition.

 

[One Thousand Words]

That's so awesome, I love Elvis!

Near the end Elvis couldn't maintain an erection either

 

[Teabag Johnny]

Wow Ninae, that is an inspiring story! It's nice to know that your Uncle is able to maintain his happiness, and still have the ability to tell jokes & brighten the mood. I see why you have a passion for tough men like your Uncle. It's good that he is able to not dwell in self pity around you or your family. In him doing so, he's showing inspiring leadership & strength that makes you content to see. You'll always remember him as a man of strength & a leader.

Very nice story Ninae, and I'm glad you shared it I think my drive in life is going to strive for humility, build on relationships, & have more of a leadership role. I'm glad I got to hear the story of your Uncle.

Coming from a veteran, I honestly think your Uncle would have been great for the military.

 

[Teabag Johnny]

Near the end Elvis couldn't maintain an erection either

You always make me laugh :D I like you

 

[Ninae]

He was a very strong leader and fighter but he didn't have the dicipline or seriousness for it. He just wanted to have fun and do his own thing. I asked him about it once and he said "No one tells me what to do" or "I don't take orders from anyone". He's really fierce.

But I think what people really loved about him is all the stimulation he gave them so they were never bored in his company. He's very extrovert and talks all the time. But he can't move around and ACT as he used to. That must be hard for him.

 

[One Thousand Words]

Sounds more like a bully who got what was coming to him to me.

A good looking bully, but a bully none the less

 

[Teabag Johnny]

Sounds more like a bully who got what was coming to him to me.

A good looking bully, but a bully none the less

Wait, your not funny anymore. You're a Debbie Downer & a Buzz Kill. Talk about a "party crasher."

Ninae, don't listen to the negativity. You're Uncle did have some faughts when he was younger (we all do), but he did not deserve what happened to him. Now, he is an inspiring man with a purpose. He is humble now, and he's a good family role model for his niece who looks up to him.

Don't let any idiot here try to knock that down.

 

[Ninae]

I can't really say as I don't know the full story here. But I'm sure he defined himself by violence and didn't show much mercy to his enemies. Maybe it was a way to show him what violence can really do and that it's not so glamorous.

That nurse also said there was a rumour going around that he had snitched on someone. That sounds likely in the kind of dangerous environment he was hanging around in. My dad was very different and knew how to keep himself out of trouble. My uncle is a very complex character but I love him for his good qualities. Just think of all the potential he had and wasted in his life.

 

[Teabag Johnny]

I hear ya Ninae babe...

I believe the whole purpose of life is to learn by our faults through trials and tribulations. Going through this humbles us. Even a person who has spent their whole life as an atheist, will probably pray to God if they were on their death bed with only a few days to live as an old man or woman. Everyone one goes through humility.

You're really getting to see the good qualities in your Uncle now. And he is most definitely not a bully.

 

[Ninae]

I remember when it happened, no one was suprised. Everyone had seen something like that coming because he was living so wild and dangerously. And he acted completely on impulse and never thought things through.

I also remember the general consensus was that it was something he had brought upon himself, not that he deserved it exactly, but that it's something that can happen when you live like that (though many also go unscathed). But he had lived as a criminal, violent, alcoholic, non-worker, and womaniser who cheated and didn't bring up or support his children. The list of what you're not supposed to do was quite long.

I was just a kid when it happened, but I remember also thinking this is what happens when you live like that, and it was something he had done to himself. Because my dad didn't live anything like that and nothing bad ever happened to him. At least that's how it looked to my simple mind at the time, and I lost a lot of respect for him after that, it was like I had lost him in a way.

So there was quite a lot of unspoken judgement around it and he wasn't treated with the kind of sympathy a car crash victim would have been. He was aware of all this himself, too, and was quite ashamed at first. Of course after the accident he had to change the way he lived and he is a completely reformed character now. Now he lives like my grandparents tried to bring him up to be. Everything has to be done right, etc.

I disagree with that he was a bully, though. Sure, he abused his power, but it was more for fun, and not because he wanted to really hurt anyone. Hearing what that nurse said about him, and he had such a great heart and love for people. He was extremely sociable and only wanted to have a good time with people. The ones who beat him up were also old friends he had helped out and only been kind to. He would only fight when he was provoked, or drunk, or maybe when he wanted to have a bit of fun and demonstrate what he could do. It was more about that, or asserting his ego (I guess he was a bit of an ego-maniac), it wasn't about wanting to hurt anyone.

Of course, I never saw the worst side of him. I was like his surrogate daughter and we were kind of on the same wave-length, or pretty wild, impulsive, and a bit manic. Come to think of it, he might have been a real manic, but then he lived a pretty awesome life. He was just high on the life he was living and I don't think he ever really grew up before the accident happened.

Sad ending for such a person but some like living dangerously.

 

[Teabag Johnny]

Ninae, I'd have to say that the story of your Uncle is one of the most interesting ones I've heard on the bluelight (& I date back to 1999).

It ends well because your Uncle was once blinded, but now he sees. Although the incident that he went through was tragic, he has now finally found humility.

If there is something divine after life, he'll be ready for it.

 

[Ninae]

Well, I hope you can learn something from this story, I'm sure there's more than one or two in here like this. And it also shows you don't have to be a bastard to be attractive to women.

I just remember my uncle being a perfect gentleman with his women. They were just a joy in his life and he treated them like his little girls. Otherwise I doubt they would have put up with all of that chaos.

Men who are passively attractive to women, or can attract them just by being themselves, don't really have to think about it or have any rules in mind, though. Women are mostly attracted to men in a sub-conscious way, anyway, and judge them on things like body-language, dominance levels, intelligence, social skills, etc. but they also look for someone who will be good to them and their children. Not much worth in having a good protector if he's going to abuse you and your children.

 

[Johnny1]

Ninae, I'd have to say that the story of your Uncle is one of the most interesting ones I've heard on the bluelight (& I date back to 1999).

Hey TJ, what was your name when you were here long ago?

 

[Teabag Johnny]

Once again Ninae, you break down the rules of attraction so well You're almost like a scientist. I actually did learn something from you story most definitely :D

Mr. Johnny, my old name is a secret %)

 

[Animal Mother]

Women are just the same but without the potential dominant physicality aspect. At least with guys usually what you see is what you get.. a douche usually looks like a douche, a creeper usually looks like a creeper.. men aren't fantastic at hiding themselves (except maybe emotionally). Women on the other hand.. wow. I was quite shocked to realize just how manipulative they can be behind the scenes. Plastic smiles with a dagger behind the back.

As a guy how do I deal with women? The same I deal with all people. With a large amount of cynicism and barriers up.

Indeed. I approach all with a warm smile, but I don't give anybody the chance to take advantage. Cynic? More like realist. You're only a cynic if you have a negative defeatist attitude. I know that i'll meet good people often enough.

Women are just as bad as men. When you realize that we aren't very different, and that you're just playing the blame game, you'll have solved half of your problems. Unfortunately, SLR is full of people who find it very easy to find the oppositte sex highly flawed. And they will entertain anybody who will reinforce that for them.

 

[Ninae]

Once again Ninae, you break down the rules of attraction so well You're almost like a scientist.

Is it any wonder, I've been crippled with agrophobia for so long, I'm almost a scientist in all fields (not the boring ones). No, I've always been a great reader, reading and writing is kind of my thing.

I've read some of that Pick-Up stuff, learnt a lot from the men in my family (no men in my family had problems with women LOL), and my own reactions. I just like to study attractive men to understand why they are that way. Better than going into it blindly, most women can't control themselves if the attraction is strong enough.

My uncle was only the most extreme example, though. My dad could always get a woman. He's a different, more sensible, gentle type. But he's very likeable, or the kind that everyone likes and very good at getting people on his side, so he has his own charm about him. He's also very masculine and can be aggressive but prefers to deal with things through diplomacy (a different form of social intelligence).

I actually think it's my dad who would have been an asset to the army. He really has his head screwed on and was made a Corporal in bootcamp because he's a good leader and always knows the right way to do things. Most men are less competent so he could lead them in the right direction.

He also works as a supervisor so he's probably a natural choice for that kind of thing. There's one thing he'll never be able to supervise, though, try and try as he might. And I guess you can all guess what that is.

 

[Teabag Johnny]

Ninae, how did you diagnose yourself with agrophobia?

How do you handle a situation when a man you're very much attracted to pursues you? What are your most attarctive qualities in yourself?

Your Dad sounds like a really cool guy Why can't he supervise? Is he too nice?

 

[Ninae]

You're a curious one, aren't you?

Ninae, how did you diagnose yourself with agrophobia?

Feel a bit apprehensive about leaving the house and find the living room too big and intimidating to be in, or don't feel safe there.

Ninae, How do you handle a situation when a man you're very much attracted to pursues you?

Apprehensive, but might try it out for a time to see how it goes (maybe not sexually, sometimes they just wait and wait).

Ninae, What are your most attarctive qualities in yourself?

Eyes, hair, lips, height, and built. Depending on your taste. If I lost 5 kilos or more I would look just like Kate Moss with breasts (1.70/large bone structure).

Ninae, Your Dad sounds like a really cool guy Why can't he supervise? Is he too nice?

Hahah.

Supervise his Soldiers ----- Tick
Supervise his Underworkers ----- Tick
Supervise his new wife ----- Tick

Me ---------------------- There's no chance in hell it's happening.

See, I've inherited his brain and nervous system and prefer to supervise myself. But I guess that hasn't occurred to him. He's wrecking his brain trying to understand why he can't sort me out.

He's both too indulgent (have a weakness for me as his daughter and for our childhood memories) and aggressive with me. He just deals with me the wrong way.

So that's how that goes.

 

[Ninae]

Said I inherited a female version of my uncle or dad's built. Not going to be some frail little thing, am I. On the plus side, I could always give a good punch. Have a bit more muscle mass in the arms than that though.

 

[Teabag Johnny]

Well Ms. Ninae

I'd have to say you're gorgeous & very unique. That is a killer combo :D

It's so nice to see because there are some many generic & boring women out there.

Maybe you can overcome your agrophobia through neurological programming, meditation, a new outlook, and exposure.

I could see a charismatic & intelligent man being perfect for you